Grey and I met as many couples are meeting these days ... on the internet.

Fate had us find each other in Yahoo! Chat, in a room called Love Stinks. At the time love did indeed stink for both of us, and for similar reasons. He was recently divorced, and I had been alone for 17 years after my divorce in 1980. However, neither of us went into Yahoo! Chat looking for love. It found us.

That was early in March of 1997. After several months during which we became close online friends, Grey proposed to me on August 19, 1997. I accepted -- conditionally. We had yet to meet face to face -- Grey was in Southern California in the United States, and I was in Sydney Australia.  We had 8,000 miles of Pacific Ocean between us.  So, I saved my pennies, said goodbye to my family and my beloved dog, Wicket, and flew out of Sydney on February 1, 1998. If Grey and I were married during my visit then I would be moving to the United States, and if it was to be my new home I wanted to see it.  Grey was waiting for me at LAX, and we were both a little shy at first, though we soon got over it.  We stopped for something to eat on the long drive back to Grey's house, and we were so distracted by each other that to this day neither of us can tell you where we stopped or what we ate.  Just that we shared a plate of ... something! 

The weather in California at that time was atrocious. Constant rain, weeks of it, was washing away houses and hillsides, and though Grey's house was on high ground the rain did leak under the front door, soaking the living room carpet. Wonderful smell. 

After two weeks of getting to know each other (a process which included Grey's three teenage children), we were married on Valentine's Day, February 14, 1998, at The Hitching Post Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada. And what a fun trip it was! As if two weeks of rain and floods in Southern California weren't enough, it rained the whole way to Las Vegas. Bucketed down, in fact. What should normally have been a 4-5 hour drive took us 8 hours. The best thing about the trip was that we had hired a car -- a Nissan Altima. Grey's car was a piece of junk and I seriously doubt we would have been able to make the trip in it. 

In the Altima we arrived in one piece, though we were a tad late for our appointment at the chapel, which was 5:00 p.m. Since it had rained the whole way, getting in and out of the car at various intervals (food/pee breaks etc.) ensured that my hair looked like a rat's nest and there was (of course!) neither time nor opportunity to even look for a hairdresser. It was 6:30 p.m. and we had to queue at the County Clark's Office to purchase our marriage license. 

Now, we had seen the County Clark's Office in Las Vegas featured in the news the night before we left, and the queue at the time was out the door and around the block. It was, after all, Valentine's Day, and it seemed half the country was getting married in Vegas. We knew we'd have to wait. When we stopped in Vegas to ask for directions to the County Clark's Office we were told to expect to wait at least four hours. Fortunately, by the time we found the place, then found parking and walked the two blocks (in a light but icy rain, without coats) back to the courthouse, the queue was only about 30 minutes long. The Marriage License (which later became The Marriage Certificate) cost US$35, which is half the price that they are in California, and though we'd gone to the trouble of taking all manner of paperwork with us -- birth certificates, divorce decrees, notices of our agreement to sacrifice our firstborn male child etc. -- they didn't even ask to look at them. 

With the necessary license in our possession we drove around town with the idea of booking into a hotel, showering and dressing in some measure of comfort, then calling the chapel to see if they could still take us, and if not, calling around to find somewhere else that could. 

There were, of course, no vacancies anywhere in Vegas. It was, after all, Valentine's Day! 

As mentioned, our appointment at the Hitching Post was at 5:00 p.m. We arrived a little after 8:00 p.m. The Hitching Post isn't terribly easy to find, as it isn't decked out in banks of lights like everything else in Vegas. We must have driven past it five times before Grey finally spotted it. We were fortunate, as they had been waiting for us. Needless to say, by this time we were tired and anxious to get it over with so we could find a place to stay for the night. The Hitching Post had a single tiny change room out back and we got changed there. I'd had the foresight to take my hair dryer with me and while Grey was dressing I plugged it into the nearest socket I could find, which happened to be in the chapel itself. Just as well there were mirrors all over the walls. My outfit had fallen off its hanger in the back of the car at some point during the trip and was somewhat rumpled. Consequently, I felt like something the cat had dragged in. The lady Minister complimented me on my shoes, which was a little gratifying, all things considered. 

And to top it off, a blind pimple had exploded -- conveniently for our wedding day -- on my nose. I can count on one finger the number of times I've had a pimple on my nose in my entire life! Somebody up there was cacking themselves laughing, I'm sure. 

The ceremony made me a Mrs. in less than five minutes, and halfway through it, while the video camera was still rolling, the front door opened and the next customers arrived. So, halfway through our wedding video there's a sudden burst of traffic noise from the street. The same lady who took the video also took the photos, and when the film was finished she gave it straight to Grey. We had it developed when we got home, and we were rather disappointed with them. In particular, the one where she chopped off the top of Grey's head, and the ones where we're not centred in the photos, and the ones where we didn't even have time to compose ourselves and smile before the shutter snapped. We plan on taking our vows again some time in the near future, this time with family members and a professional photographer present. 

We were disappointed that none of the few things we had wanted for our wedding actually happened for us. Ultimately what matters is not the wedding, but the marriage and what we make of it. Our original plans were either to have a dawn wedding in a high place above the ocean (the torrential rain scotched that idea), or to have a minister come to the house and marry us there. But we ran out of time in California. The Monday after Valentine's Day was a public holiday so we would not have been able to apply for a marriage license in California until the Tuesday. With my return to Sydney being on the Friday night (February 20), and with Grey having to work during the day, our only real option was Vegas. They're open 24 hours on Valentine's Day. 

And yes, there really are drive-through wedding chapels in Las Vegas. We saw one! It looked like a classy restaurant with a line of black limos at the  drive-through window. Only in America! 

After the ceremony (and I use that word loosely) we had our wedding breakfast. KFC from across the road (a mistake, as it later gave Grey a migraine) then found our way back onto the freeway, thinking we'd be able to stop in a hotel somewhere along the way. Every town we came to had at least one motel or hotel, and, of course, not one of them had a vacancy.

It was, after all, Valentine's Day!!

It was obvious that some of the tiny ones in the one-horse towns had plenty of vacancies, judging by their mostly empty car parks. Apparently they didn't want to be disturbed at 2:00 a.m. So we chanced the possible flooding and took the shortcut across the desert. As it happened, we had a clear run home, even a starry sky, and no flooded roads. Our first stroke of good luck for that weekend. We arrived home, totally exhausted, at 4:45 a.m. on the Sunday, and after a lousy three hours of sleep we had to get up again and take the Altima back before 9:30 a.m., or we'd be charged a second day's rental.

Not exactly a wedding made in heaven, was it! No one from either of our families was able to attend (my family couldn't afford the air fares to the USA), so it was just the two of us. Though it had its disappointments, as mentioned before, it's not the wedding that matters, it's the "I do" that's the most important thing. And Grey and I plan to DO very nicely, too! We've had our first anniversary now, and we are happier and more deeply in love than ever. 

It was only after my return to Australia that we really looked into the process of immigration to the United States. We ordered a do-it-yourself kit for "Residence via Marriage" from the American Immigration Center and did the entire immigration on our own, without recourse to an immigration lawyer. It is by no means difficult to do it yourself, and it is far less expensive.

To read all about our experience with the immigration process, please turn the page.   But first, be sure to read my page dedicated to Grey -- click the "Dedicated to Grey With Love" button below! 

(Composed March 14, 1999)
 
 

We have now entered a new millenium, and Grey and I had our second anniversary on 14 February 2000.  We are more in love now than ever, and the bond between us continues to deepen every day.  We are still learning about one another, and will surely continue to learn all the days of our life together.  That is as it should be.  We have each stated that marrying one another was the best and wisest thing we have ever done with our lives, and we are fortunate and blessed to have found each other.  Some things are truly meant to be.  Though we did not have a grand wedding, we are certainly having a grand marriage -- 'Tis not the Wedding that makes the Marriage!

(Composed May 1, 2000)

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Below is a gift from my friend Koalaghost - thanks sweetie! :)

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