I met a woman from the United States who's well-traveled and is living in the Netherlands now. She told me that in her travels she's encountered people who ask her why we Americans have so little respect for our aged family members. She couldn't answer that question. I can't either. Maybe it's yet another facet of our society which bears the marks of unChristlike attitudes. This woman also told me that in some countries disrespecting the elderly is punished by execution. I suppose a firing squad would engender at least feigned honor.
When aged parents can no longer live independently, many families begin to search for corporate living arrangements. Often one of the first things they do is casually interview their friends and neighbors about the facilities in which they've placed their own family members. I can't imagine a respondent saying, "Well, the place is a real dump. The facility is inadequately staffed with unskilled workers, and some even mistreat the residents. The building smells offensive, and residents are unkempt. I thought it would be a perfect place for my dad/mom." Can you imagine hearing that from someone whose parent is in a nursing home? So who is in all the nursing homes out of which come the horror stories?
I've met several women over the past few years who have worked in nursing homes. Without one exception they all said they had to leave the employ of the facilities because conditions were too heinous for them to endure in good conscience.
I've visited a particular nursing home many times. Lovely building, beautifully appointed in the foyer--fountain, cathedral ceilings, fine furniture. What I observed deeper within the facility made my stomach churn:
An aide raised her hand to slap a resident, then caught sight of me walking down the corridor and quickly changed her posturing.
There was a resident in whose bed other residents urinated during the day--she slept on those soiled sheets at night.
During one brief visit, a locked ward was three times left entirely unattended by staff, each for a period of not less than 5 minutes. A melee amongst residents broke out in the staff's absence.
A woman with soiled clothing--still soiled 2 hours later.
A woman whose toenails had been allowed to grow a half-inch beyond the ends of her toes--not beyond the nail beds--beyond the ends of her toes. Several were threatening to become ingrown.
Hard rock music blaring in the common area of a locked ward. Wouldn't that be soothing to the elderly?
A man and his roommate both given cold showers one day--they were even told on the way to the shower that it was going to be cold.
A male staff member was talking in loud, angry tones behind a resident's closed door. He rushed across the corridor to grab linens, returned to the room, and the loud, angry discourse began again. Ten minutes later when I passed the room again, the same voice could still be heard.
Dried, smeared feces on the floor of a resident's room. Should I have been suspicious when an aide rushed in to clean it just after I entered the room?
A woman who was attacked on 3 occasions by other residents--wholly unprovoked.
A male resident who wandered into another resident's room while she had company, so he was secured to his own bed--in the middle of the day. He hadn't done anything harmful. On the way to his room, he pleaded, "Why, why, what did I do?"
Yes I did report to the state these conditions I observed--to no avail.
One can ask friends and neighbors about the nursing homes in which parents reside; doubtless there would be glowing reports. Every resident in this lovely, large complex I visited was someone's mom or dad or friend or neighbor.
What are Americans so busy doing that their parents must be shuffled away into people pounds when they are no longer capable of meeting their own needs safely? I'm certain laws governing dog pounds are more stringently enforced than those protecting the elderly in corporate facilities. What are we finding to do with our time and our energies which is more important than caring for our own family members?
There are some families who truly cannot provide the care their aged members require. The reasons for that may be numerous and valid...and may have never crossed my mind or my path. In no way do I intend to cast aspersions on those who for reasons truly beyond their control are unable to tend their family members. But...
What are the women of The Church doing? There are, after all, some aged people who don't have family or whose families aren't able to provide their care. Are they, therefore, throw-away people? What are the women of The Church doing? Are they having garage sales or car washes so they can send the kids to summer camp? Are they going to diet or exercise classes every week? Are they lying in a tanning booth so they'll have a lovely, faux sun-kissed glow? Are they working a 40-hour week so the children can wear designer clothes and the family drive nice, new cars? Maybe they're on the golf course, or at the mall, or they're running the children from one social event to another...and another...and another. Maybe their calendars are filled by the ladies' tea, the ladies' luncheon, the ladies' seminar, the ladies' retreat,....
Are the women of The Church too busy to tend the elderly?
Scripture does not assign benevolent endeavors to the government or to corporate America.
I want to encourage women to not summarily reject thoughts of tending aged parents, because it can be done. Everything I have read in the worldly press has been slanted toward setting aged people aside in corporate facilities or even presumptuously instructive that such is the ideal or only environmental option for tending the aged who can no longer live independently.
There are vast numbers of aged people living in nursing homes in the United States. Sisters, they need to be loved and cared for. If your family circumstances won't allow you to take in your own or others' aged family members, don't visit the aged only in December, with a plate of cookies. Make time in your schedule to bring a word of cheer, an act of kindness, just the presence of your sweet face to those who are in the twilight of their lives and perhaps have been all but forgotten by their own family and friends.
When aged parents can no longer live independently, many families begin to search for corporate living arrangements. Often one of the first things they do is casually interview their friends and neighbors about the facilities in which they've placed their own family members. I can't imagine a respondent saying, "Well, the place is a real dump. The facility is inadequately staffed with unskilled workers, and some even mistreat the residents. The building smells offensive, and residents are unkempt. I thought it would be a perfect place for my dad/mom." Can you imagine hearing that from someone whose parent is in a nursing home? So who is in all the nursing homes out of which come the horror stories?
I've met several women over the past few years who have worked in nursing homes. Without one exception they all said they had to leave the employ of the facilities because conditions were too heinous for them to endure in good conscience.
I've visited a particular nursing home many times. Lovely building, beautifully appointed in the foyer--fountain, cathedral ceilings, fine furniture. What I observed deeper within the facility made my stomach churn:
An aide raised her hand to slap a resident, then caught sight of me walking down the corridor and quickly changed her posturing.
There was a resident in whose bed other residents urinated during the day--she slept on those soiled sheets at night.
During one brief visit, a locked ward was three times left entirely unattended by staff, each for a period of not less than 5 minutes. A melee amongst residents broke out in the staff's absence.
A woman with soiled clothing--still soiled 2 hours later.
A woman whose toenails had been allowed to grow a half-inch beyond the ends of her toes--not beyond the nail beds--beyond the ends of her toes. Several were threatening to become ingrown.
Hard rock music blaring in the common area of a locked ward. Wouldn't that be soothing to the elderly?
A man and his roommate both given cold showers one day--they were even told on the way to the shower that it was going to be cold.
A male staff member was talking in loud, angry tones behind a resident's closed door. He rushed across the corridor to grab linens, returned to the room, and the loud, angry discourse began again. Ten minutes later when I passed the room again, the same voice could still be heard.
Dried, smeared feces on the floor of a resident's room. Should I have been suspicious when an aide rushed in to clean it just after I entered the room?
A woman who was attacked on 3 occasions by other residents--wholly unprovoked.
A male resident who wandered into another resident's room while she had company, so he was secured to his own bed--in the middle of the day. He hadn't done anything harmful. On the way to his room, he pleaded, "Why, why, what did I do?"
Yes I did report to the state these conditions I observed--to no avail.
One can ask friends and neighbors about the nursing homes in which parents reside; doubtless there would be glowing reports. Every resident in this lovely, large complex I visited was someone's mom or dad or friend or neighbor.
What are Americans so busy doing that their parents must be shuffled away into people pounds when they are no longer capable of meeting their own needs safely? I'm certain laws governing dog pounds are more stringently enforced than those protecting the elderly in corporate facilities. What are we finding to do with our time and our energies which is more important than caring for our own family members?
There are some families who truly cannot provide the care their aged members require. The reasons for that may be numerous and valid...and may have never crossed my mind or my path. In no way do I intend to cast aspersions on those who for reasons truly beyond their control are unable to tend their family members. But...
What are the women of The Church doing? There are, after all, some aged people who don't have family or whose families aren't able to provide their care. Are they, therefore, throw-away people? What are the women of The Church doing? Are they having garage sales or car washes so they can send the kids to summer camp? Are they going to diet or exercise classes every week? Are they lying in a tanning booth so they'll have a lovely, faux sun-kissed glow? Are they working a 40-hour week so the children can wear designer clothes and the family drive nice, new cars? Maybe they're on the golf course, or at the mall, or they're running the children from one social event to another...and another...and another. Maybe their calendars are filled by the ladies' tea, the ladies' luncheon, the ladies' seminar, the ladies' retreat,....
Are the women of The Church too busy to tend the elderly?
Scripture does not assign benevolent endeavors to the government or to corporate America.
I want to encourage women to not summarily reject thoughts of tending aged parents, because it can be done. Everything I have read in the worldly press has been slanted toward setting aged people aside in corporate facilities or even presumptuously instructive that such is the ideal or only environmental option for tending the aged who can no longer live independently.
There are vast numbers of aged people living in nursing homes in the United States. Sisters, they need to be loved and cared for. If your family circumstances won't allow you to take in your own or others' aged family members, don't visit the aged only in December, with a plate of cookies. Make time in your schedule to bring a word of cheer, an act of kindness, just the presence of your sweet face to those who are in the twilight of their lives and perhaps have been all but forgotten by their own family and friends.
Pure religion and undefiled before God the Father is this,
to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction,
and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
James 1:27
to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction,
and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
James 1:27
If I become infirm one day and my children are unable - and The Church unwilling - to provide my care, I hope and pray the Lord will just take me home. I don't want to live in a people pound. I don't believe anyone should have to.
But which of you, having a servant plowing or feeding cattle, will say unto him by and by, when he is come from the field, Go and sit down to meat? And will not rather say unto him, Make ready wherewith I may sup, and gird thyself, and serve me, till I have eaten and drunken; and afterward thou shalt eat and drink? Doth he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I trow not. So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do. Luke 17:7-10
But which of you, having a servant plowing or feeding cattle, will say unto him by and by, when he is come from the field, Go and sit down to meat? And will not rather say unto him, Make ready wherewith I may sup, and gird thyself, and serve me, till I have eaten and drunken; and afterward thou shalt eat and drink? Doth he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I trow not. So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do. Luke 17:7-10
