Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory;
but in lowliness of mind let each esteem
other better than themselves.
Philippians 2:3

I'm not aware of any verse or passage in the Scriptures instructing us to esteem ourselves highly.  The Scriptures are about God--not me.  Life is about serving God and others--not me.  Glory belongs to God--not me.  And when we love God, we will also love others...as we do love ourselves.

Jesus said unto him,  Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart,  and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second [is] like unto it,  Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Matthew 22:37-39

No, this does not mean we must learn to love ourselves.  Dear sisters, it's pointing to the fact that we already do love ourselves, and we should love others with at least as great a measure of love as we bestow upon ourselves.  We are only a part of the equation inasmuch as the deep and abiding love we have for ourselves is used as the yardstick for measuring the depth of love we're to have for others.

I did hear it preached from the pulpit that we must learn to love ourselves first, so we can then love others.  And a precious sister shared with me one day that the greatest thing her pastor had done for her was to teach her to love herself.  I've watched women heed the instruction to love themselves.  They become less lovely as they carry out this plan.  Still lovable--just less lovely.  We're all prone to losing our focus on the Lord and placing it upon ourselves, and all the more so if we're being encouaraged to do so.  That's not God's plan.

I'm pitiful; I'm not talented; I'm sinful; I'm timid; I'm weak; I'm too strong; I'm such a bad person; I don't know how anyone could love me.  Common denominator?  I, I, I, me, me, me.  Why are my eyes on myself instead of God and others?

I am crucified with Christ:  nevertheless I live;  yet not I, but Christ liveth in me:  and the life which I now live in the flesh  I live by the faith of the Son of God,  who loved me, and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

Why are my eyes on myself?  Why are they not on my risen Saviour, my brothers and sisters in Christ, and the unsaved?  Why do I seek to increase my estimation of myself?  Have I been effectively convinced that it's necessary to learn to love myself?  Oh dear, I do love myself, and my incessant quest for more love for me isn't God-inspired.  If I'm loving my God and my neighbor, I'm not going to have any time to even measure how highly I  may or may not esteem myself.  What difference does it make anyway?  God has said I love myself--I surely must.  And the more time I spend loving (tending, nurturing, fixing, analyzing, searching, protecting) me, the less time I'll have to be loving God and others.
 

The victorious Christian neither exalts nor downgrades himself.  His interests have shifted from self to Christ.  What he is or is not no longer concerns him.  He believes that he has been crucified with Christ and is not willing either to praise or deprecate such a man. A. W. Tozer Man: The Dwelling Place of God

The quest for "self-esteem" (aka "self-worth") was not born of Christendom.  It's the brainchild of the devil.  He does know how to wrest our focus from The Most High God and cripple us.
 

Modern Christians tend to make satisfaction their religion.  We show much more concern for self-fulfillment than for pleasing our God.  Typical of Christianity today, at any rate in the English-speaking world, is its massive rash of how-to books for believers, directing us to more successful relationships, more joy in sex, becoming more of a person, realizing our possibilities, getting more excitement each day, reducing our weight, improving our diet, managing our money, licking our families into happier shape, and whatnot.  For people whose prime passion is to glorify God, these are doubtless legitimate concerns; but the how-to books regularly explore them in a self-absorbed way that treats our enjoyment of life rather than the glory of God as the center of interest.  Granted, they spread a thin layer of Bible teaching over the mixture of popular psychology and common sense they offer, but their overall approach clearly reflects the narcissism--"selfism" or "me-ism" as it is sometimes called--that is the way of the world in the modern West. J. I. Packer Keep in Step with the Spirit

Faith is the least self-regarding of the virtues.  It is by its very nature scarcely conscious of its own existence.  Like the eye which sees everything in front of it and never sees itself, faith is occupied with the Object upon which it rests and pays no attention to itself at all.  While we are looking at God we do not see ourselves--blessed riddance....Sin has twisted our vision inward and made it self-regarding.  Unbelief has put self where God should be, and is perilously close to the sin of Lucifer who said, "I will set my throne above the throne of God."  Faith looks out instead of in and the whole life falls into line.  A. W. Tozer The Pursuit of God

We are today surrounded by men and women who call themselves "Christian psychologists".  I've stated in another article that this term is most assuredly an oxymoron, because the pseudo-science of psychology is, at its core and throughout its long and countless tentacles, decidedly the antithesis of Christianity.  It is in part from these religious psychologists that God's children are led into self-actualization.  Note this excerpt and author as he speaks to the women of the Church about "low self-esteem":

It is sitting alone in a house during the quiet afternoon hours, wondering why the phone doesn't ring...wondering why you have no "real friends.  It is longing for someone to talk to, soul to soul, but knowing there is no such person worthy of your trust.... It is wondering why other people have so much more talent and ability than you do.  It is feeling incredibly ugly and sexually unattractive.  It is admitting that you have become a failure as a wife and mother.  It is disliking everything about yourself and wishing, constantly wishing, you could be someone else.  It is feeling unloved and unlovable and lonely and sad.  It is lying in bed after the family is asleep, pondering the vast emptiness inside and longing for unconditional love.  It is intense self-pity.  It is reaching up in the darkness to remove a tear from the corner of your eye.  It is depression!

Dr. James Dobson
What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew about Women

And now read the response of Martin and Deidre Bobgan to Dr. Dobson's pronouncement:
 

Is that low self-esteem or is it a collection of self-centered thoughts?  Low self-esteem is popular because it's much easier to accept the idea of having "low self-esteem" than confessing evil, ungodly, self-centered thoughts and then repenting through believing what God has said in His Word.  Low self-esteem calls for psychological treatment to raise the self-esteem.  Sinful thinking calls for confession, repentance, restoration, and walking by faith in a love relationship with God provided by the cross of Christ.  We would suggest that one look to Scripture to discover one's greatest need and to find an antidote to life's problems, rather than to attempt to scripturalize some psychological fad.  Mankind's greatest need is for Jesus Christ, not self-esteem. Martin & Deidre Bobgan Psychoheresy

In his book Hide and Seek, Dr. Dobson says:

The matter of personal worth is not only the concern of those who lack it.  In a real sense, the health of an entire society depends on the ease with which the individual members gain personal acceptance.  Thus, whenever the keys to self-esteem are seemingly out of reach for a large percentage of the people, as in twentieth-century America, then widespread "mental illness", neuroticism, hatred, alcoholism, drug abuse, violence, and social disorder will certainly occur.

Sisters, does God say that our lack of esteem for ourselves is what will create an unsound mind and this stated list of sins...or does God say that it's our self-focus and sinfulness which will have such a destructive effect upon our lives?  Does the Bible say our society suffers because of a lack of self-esteem or individual acceptance and the need for psychological treatment...or does it say something else?

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.  (II Chronicles 7:14)

Consider this sinister, worldly view: If my people, which are called by my name, shall esteem themselves more highly, and discover their deepest selves, and seek psychological counseling, and better understand what hidden things from their past (parents, ex-spouses, unhappy events) motivate them to sin (naturally, it's "someone else's fault"); then they will love themselves more and live in a happy, healthy land.

NO
It's not about esteeming SELF

And when he had called the people [unto him] with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.  For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it. (Mark 8:34-35)

 

The heart [is] deceitful above all [things], and desperately wicked: who can know it?  I the LORD search the heart, [I] try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, [and] according to the fruit of his doings.  (Jeremiah 17:9-10)

Sermons, religious books, religious radio programs are all subject to the infiltration of the doctrine of ME-ME-ME.  Let us be cautious that we don't fall prey to the wiles of Satan and set our eyes upon ourselves, seeking to elevate self-love.  The Bible says we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  God so loved us that He sent His only begotten Son to die on the cross for our sins.  We are adopted members of His family.  We mustn't seek to set ourselves above The Most High God.

Do we want a book which will explain and give to us the tools to deal with peculiarities,  sins, mistreatment, loneliness, inequity, forgiveness and unforgiveness, bad feelings?  Do we seek a counselor--one who might lead us to a joyful life?

All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God,  and [is] profitable for doctrine,  for reproof,  for correction,  for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect,  throughly furnished unto all good works.  (II Timothy 3:16-17)

Sisters, shall we explore our inner selves
and increase our self-esteem?
Shall we seek our Lord?

Do we need to love ourselves more?
Do we need to love the Lord more?

Is it about me or you?
Is it about God?

More of Him...less of me.

For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.   (II Corinthians 10:12)

But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.  For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth.  (II Corinthians 10:17-18)

Knowing God does nothing for the old self, which is counted dead.  The old self likes the search for self, the attention to the self, the understanding of self, and especially feeling good about the self.  But, if we truly knew ourselves from God's perspective without truly knowing Him we would be devastated.  In His love He reveals His mercy, grace, righteousness, power to restore and save while He allows us to see ourselves from His perspective.  And, then there is the confidence that He will complete His work of transforming us into the image of Christ through our response of faith, hope, and love. Martin & Deidre Bobgan Psychoheresy

Let us not seek to exalt ourselves, but to exalt The Most High God.  He alone is worthy to be praised.

My soul shall make her boast in the LORD:
the humble shall hear [thereof], and be glad.
(Psalm 34:2)

In God we boast all the day long,
and praise thy name for ever. Selah.
(Psalm 44:8)

God loves you so much He can't even keep His eyes off of you.  Amen.

The LORD thy God in the midst of thee [is] mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

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