The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)

I tend to like certain periods. The `20s, `30s and `40s were a very exciting time in New York. They were the decades of gangsters and gamblers—the music was great, the clothes were great… It’s just a period that appeals to me.” -- Woody Allen, 2001

It's hard enough to get people to go to Woody Allen movies these days - let alone one with a title like The Curse of the Jade Scorpion. Just try and convince your Titanic-loving friends to take a shot on a film starring a 66 year old man playing a small time insurance investigator in 1940's era New York. Real blockbuster stuff, eh? But remember this: even an average Woody Allen film is better than the flavor of the week-end blockbuster steamrolling its way into theatres all around you.

And Curse of the Jade Scorpion is not a brilliant film - though it does what it apparently sets out to do, which is to vividly re-create a lost era (and style of filmmaking) while entertaining us and keeping us guessing along the way. It's Woody Allen in light mode and, as such, it works. Allen himself has recently said that his last few films were his attempt to clean out his "script ideas" drawer in his bedroom, so that he might move on to other things (such as the upcoming, more serious-minded Hollywood Ending). Indeed, the film often does seem nothing more than an brief sketch idea expanded into a feature length film, but the film is so well made on a production level that it is able to carry itself through the dead spots with relative ease.

The film centers around C.W. Briggs (Allen), an insurance investigator nearing retirement and more than happy in his antiquated ways. As the story begins we find him frustrated with his new co-worker, an aggressive female played by Helen Hunt, who has been brought in by his boss (Dan Akroyd) to streamline the office and bring it up to par. Briggs is intimidated, frustrated, and obsessed with Hunt, finding himself exasperated when his usual tricks and office talk fail to win her over. In fact it has the reverse effect: she hates him.

And this probably has something to do with the fact that she's sleeping with the boss.

One night, at an office party at a local restaurant, a hypnotist (David Ogden Stiers) takes the stage. Looking for volunteers and finding none, he picks Allen and Hunt out of the audience. Their co-workers, knowing the hatred between the two, love every second of it, watching as the couple are easily hypnotized (by an ornament called the Jade Scorpion) and made to think that they are newlyweds on a deserted island. Typical office banter ensues, some good-natured ribbing and the like, and the night is over.

Soon, however, a much bigger plan is made clear to us. The hypnotist, neglecting to 'erase' the keyword that drops his subjects into an hypnotic state, begins to use both Allen and Hunt to carry out opulent jewel heists around town. And under hypnosis, they revert to thinking that they are a young couple in love. Matters are only complicated by the fact that Allen is the chief investigator on the case - and remembers nothing he does while under hypnosis. As he says early on, when told that the same things which make him a great detective would make him a great criminal, "I'd hate to have me after me!"

The movie proceeds quickly from one misunderstanding to the next. Allen, in a typically nebbish, neurotic role, is often quite funny, but Hunt (playing what could legitimately be deemed "the Helen Hunt character") is often grating - and simply unfunny. It's almost as if Allen had given himself all the funny lines, leaving her with nothing to contribute to their scenes. One of the film's weakest spots is the incredible lack of chemistry between Allen and Hunt - trying to capture the coy lunacy of Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell in His Girl Friday but floundering in their own misguided attempts. The age difference will be mentioned in many reviews, you can be sure, but I don't particularly mind the age gap between them - it was the mismatched acting styles and odd physical appearance of the two together that bothered me. And the kissing didn't help much, either.

The real surprise in Curse of the Jade Scorpion, then, is Charlize Theron. Over-exposed to the extreme in the past few years (and appearing in far too many movies as of late), it's surprising to notice that she can actually act. Sure, her role as a 40's era sex siren is as juicy as they come, but she is more than up to the part written for her - imbuing the character with just the right amount of sexiness this side of Veronica Lake. Having grown tired of Theron long ago, it was a joy to see her in a role played so expertly.

Ultimately, when the lights go up at the end of The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, we're not left with a whole lot to remember. The plot is often clever, the laughs often found - but there's not much here to really sink your teeth into. Then again, maybe that's the point.

Release Date: August 24, 2001

Domestic Total Gross: $7,517,191

Distributor: DreamWorks

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