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Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise...
And again with the same opening. Why mess with what's broken, right? Oh, they did change one word this time. In a surprising burst of almost intelligence, someone on the writing staff recognized that, "Hey, since, you know, women must be almost the equal of men by now, it is the 1980s, you know, and we've got some in the crew in real positions of authority and, like, hopefully in the audience, too, huh, maybe we should do something about that last, you know, line in the opening thingy." And so that last sentence, "To go where no man has gone before" became "To go where no one has gone before".
Purist Trekkers raged, but didn't move out of their parents' basements. Activists applauded, some of them, at least. Most of us old time Trekkies (I was in my mid teens at the time the series began) said, "Yeah, cool," the first time, shrugged our shoulders and watched the show. New viewers didn't even notice.
Special effects were better (and after twenty years, they should have been), the music wasn't as good, but it was less intrusive. The miniskirts were still around here and there. There were other issues with the show, but perhaps we should do a character overview first of the consistent principals.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Patrick Stewart was far and away the best actor on the show and delivered his lines convincingly even when they were absolutely hideous. Picard was a veteran Captain taking command of the brand new flagship, Enterprise, fifth of that name.
Commander William T. Riker (Jonathan Frakes), the first officer. Jumpin' Jimmy reincarnated when the writers allowed him to be. Eventually grew a beard to alter the image a bit. His job was to do all of the dangerous stuff that Captains weren't allowed to do anymore. Had a hard time breaking out on his own, though. How many times did he think they were going to offer him a command of his own.
Dr. Beverly Crusher (whose real name eludes me at the moment, so I'll have to add it later), Chief Medical Officer (holding the rank of Lt. Commander), widow of a former friend and officer of Picard's, mother of the resident boy genius. Oh, and Picard is in love with her most of the time.
Lt. Commander Data (Brent Spiner), a synthetic crew member, always struggling to become more human. Data's primary purpose seemed to be a combination of replacing Spock and comedic relief.
Lt. (later Lt. Commander) Geordi LaForge (Levar Burton), first a bridge officer, later Chief Engineer (the third, or fourth, I think, but longest serving). Blind, but with a funky visor that let him "see" far more than anyone else could. Run a diagnostic, Geordi, that'll fix the problem.
Counselor Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis), whom we later find out actually does hold a rank, Lt. Commander, I believe it was. For the first season, all she really did was breathe well and the writers didn't get around to giving her an actual personality for a couple of years. Even after that, she wasn't really used for much. "I sense-" inhale "he's lying, Captain". Exhale.
Lt. Worf (Michael Dorn), the Klingon security officer, taking over at tactical after the death of his predecessor, Tasha Yar. Nice frilly sash, you've got there, Worf, glad to see you replaced it later on with something a little more Klingon. And you need to spend some more time on the target range, dude - once in a while it would be good to hit what you're aiming at.
There were other principles of varying duration. Lt. Tasha Yar who, for most of the first season was Tactical Officer and Head of Security. Dr. Katherine Pulaski, who replaced Dr. Crusher for Season Two while she taught at Starfleet Academy or something. Wesley Crusher, who was a main character for the first several seasons before fading to become an occasional guest star.
Let's talk about the Weasel for a moment, shall we. It's my understanding that this character was somehow based on Gene Roddenberry himself. If this is true, it lowers my opinion of the man a bit. If a boy genius is included in the cast of a show, he should be used in such a way that everyone doesn't hate him because anyone that smart should be off somewhere learning how to be a human being not annoying everyone he meets on network television. How many "Wesley saves the ship from a problem that may have been his fault" episodes did there really need to be? One would have been enough if he could have managed to die in an appropriately heroic manner. Of course he didn't. Ultimately, he was rewarded for his obnoxiousness and stupidity, becoming a bridge officer and an acting Ensign. I'm, sorry. What? You're making the snot-nosed, mealy-mouthed teenager an officer, something that everyone else has to go through four years of physical and mental discipline and training to earn just because he fixed something that he screwed up? Gods! What kind of military is this?
And while we're on the subject, you brought your freaking children along! How could this possibly be a good idea? If we're going into battle against the Romulans, the Ferengi, the Borg, or even the Fatassians of the Buttwipe Nebula, is it supposed to motivate me a bit more to know that there's a chance that my kids could be sucking vacuum or vaporized in a plasma fire before the day is out? When the inevitable hostile alien gets loose on the ship, are those paper thin doors supposed to make me feel secure that my children aren't going to get eaten alive? I don't think I've ever come across an idea that's so ridiculous.
And waaaaaaay too many officers, guys. I think we saw maybe a dozen personnel ranked below Ensign in the entire series. If everyone is an officer, who's doing the work that actually keeps the ship flying. Think about it.
Let's get back to reviewing for a moment. The uniforms were no longer crushed velour that tore at the drop of an alien, but they were even tighter and there were times when padding was misplaced. I'll say no more on that and let your imagination or memory take care of things.
The writing got better as the season progressed, again due to the inclusion of some SF writers. Did it come up to the level of the original? At times, absolutely. But for every "Inner Light" there was a "Sub Rosa", for every "Tapestry" there was a "Night Terrors", for every "The High Ground", there was an "Imaginary friend". Am I saying that half the episodes were good ones? No, most of the episodes weren't of real note, but the good ones and bad ones probably were about equal.
I think that there were too many main characters. Eight in the first few seasons if you counted the Weasel. Seven once he left to go to Starfleet Academy. It let you explore the ship a little more, but didn't really expand the limits of what could be done in other ways. This would continue to be a problem for the next two Star Trek series as well.
The the jargon filled dialogue occasionally got to the point where I wanted puke. Tachyon this and neutrino that and "We need to melt that carbonized terillium alloy over there - it's got a melting point of 1600 degrees Celsius. Set you phaser to level twenty-three, that ought to do it." And that freakin' starboard power coupling. Replace the damned thing because obviously it doesn't work if it fails every time the ship gets hit with a spitball.
There are a lot of good and bad things you can say about TNG - I could go on for several thousand more words, I think, without going into things on an episode by episode basis (maybe I'll think about that for another time). Ultimately, it was mostly a fun show, even if the science was particularly shoddy much of the time, the writing often full of holes and inconsistencies, many of the plots were rehashes of things that had been done before, and the characters not always awake. Was it Trek? Sometimes. Was it good? Sometimes. Was it worth seven seasons? Sometimes.
Is it one of my favourite shows ever? Well, no.
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Page last updated: 13 Apr 2003.