A closed mouth gathers no feet.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

A penny saved is ridiculous.

A penny saved is just another thing for the cat to knock off of the dresser.

All that glitters has a high gift tax.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Anarchy is better than no government at all.

Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.

Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Don't force it, get a larger hammer.

Earn cash in your spare time... blackmail friends.

Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

God did not create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter on the 6th.

Going the speed of light is bad for your age.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

It works better if you plug it in.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.

Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.