Wear coveralls and bring a tool box. Tell them you are a free lance grocery cart mechanic and they are in desperate need of your services.

When people walk away from their cart for a moment, pile more stuff into it. They will wonder why they bought a five pound bag of sauerkraut.

Dress like an elf and open up a box of Keebler graham crackers....pass them out to all the kids you see.

Fill an entire cart with Apples. Tell the cashier you are willing to pay £10 for the lot of 'em.

Take a box of frozen fish sticks to the butcher. Ask if they are fresh.

Take a bite out of every apple and put it back.

Ask where the elevator is.

Peel the label off every can of Campbell's soup. When confronted, tell them your kids are collecting them for a school fundraiser.

Ask why none of the potato chip bags are full, and ask if you can combine two bags into one.

Go to the cleaning products. Mix a bag of chlorox bleach and ammonia. Tell everyone to run for their lives!!

When the cashier asks you if you found everything you were looking for, look at her suspiciously and ask, "Why, did you hide something?"

Look at the National Enquirer and act amazed. Turn to the person behind you and say, "Who would have thought that there could be a kid with an alligator head! That's incredible!" When they act uncomfortable and try to ignore you, look at their kids and ask if you can borrow one of them for a day or so.

Wear a topcoat and sunglasses and bring a clipboard. Stand by the express lane and count how many items they are trying to buy. In a threatening voice, say to anyone over the limit, "You need to come with me. We need to ask you a few questions. Feel free to call your lawyer."

Bring a blanket and spread it out on the floor. Get all kinds of "picnic foods," and invite people to join you. Break out the frisbee.

Go to the shop and order 6 pounds of Lindburger cheese, sliced thin. After it's ready, say you changed your mind.

Ask to speak with Mr. Whipple. Say you think he is a liar and you are going to kick his butt.

While in the checkout line, open a chocolate bar and eat it. Be sure to get chocolate all over your face. When they ask you to pay for it, say "What chocolate bar?"

Dump out a bottle of shampoo. Refill it with Nair.

Walk around and sing the commercial "jingle" for every product you see. Try to get other shoppers to join in.

When the sacker asks "Paper or plastic?" tell them you would prefer high density polyethylene.

Write your own prescription for Prozac in purple crayon and take it to the pharmacy. When they refuse to fill it, say "I followed you home yesterday... you don't want to mess with me!"

Walk up to the customer service desk and start crying. Tell them you lost your mom and you are scared. (Adults don't usually have this problem.)

Break a huge jar of pickles on the floor. Pull out a bunch of emergency road flares and light them, laying them all around the spill. Direct people to leave the area immediately.

Wear camouflage clothing and a beret. Set up a guard post by the spaghetti products. Claim you are from the Italian National Guard and prevent any non-Italian people from buying any Italian food. Use physical force if necessary.

Go to the cracker section. Make a replica of the Sears tower using various cracker boxes for building blocks.

Open a two-pound bag of M&M's. Pour them out on the floor and make a seperate pile for each color.

Bring your barbecue grill to the store. Roll it up next to the sample lady and challenge her to a cook-off.

Dress up in a pig suit and go to the meat section. Try to persuade other shoppers not to buy pork products.

On your computer, print up labels that say "No more than 40% horse meat." Stick them on all of the hamburger products.

On your computer, print up your own coupons (New York Strip Steak for $1.59 a pound). When the check-out girl asks you where you got it, act mad and reply, "What exactly are you trying to say?"

Start with an empty cart. Go through the store and fill it only with items that are predominantly red. Leave it in an aisle. Then start over making a yellow-filled cart, then blue, then green, etc. Arrange the carts in a neat pattern and claim it is a work of art. Don't let anyone disturb it.

Put a dollar in the suggestions box. Wait a moment and then act irritated. Tell customer service that you paid for some suggestions, but none came out of the box. Demand a refund.

Go to the school supplies section. Open a box of crayons, construction paper, Elmer's glue, markers, scotch tape, etc. Make a sign that says "Free art classes." Or better yet, make it say "Coloring Contest. Winner's parents get free shopping spree!!"

Bring a bunch of Mr. Potato Head pieces. Decorate all of the real potatoes, then hold one in each hand and make them have a conversation about who is better looking.

Bring a losing lottery ticket from 1994 to Customer Service. Tell the lady it was defective and you want your dollar back.

Stand by the ice cream freezer. When a shopper puts some in their cart ask them, "Did your mom say you could have that?"

Fill up a cart with ice cream, fudgecicles, frozen yogurt, etc.Distribute them all throughout the store, preferrably in unrefrigerated sections.

Print up labels on your computer that say, "Starbucks is better."Stick them to all of the coffee cans.

Make a badge that says "USDA Meat Inspector." Lay down inside the meat cooler, and tell people that you are just doing your job and do not want to be disturbed.

Go to the florist counter and act excited. Tell the lady you've never seen edible flowers before, and ask her what they taste like. When she tells you they are not for eating, act confused and say "Hmmph, I thought this was the grocery store," and then leave.

Take a bottle of red cayenne pepper to the bulk food section (where you scoop your own candy, dried fruit, nuts, etc. and pay by the pound) and give every bin a heavy dose of red pepper. A little tobasco sauce wouldn't hurt either!!