Remy watched the last candle he had placed on his windowsill slowly blow
out. Stars sparkled brightly in the pitch-black sky outside, but he couldn't
enjoy the once so beloved sight. The quiet darkness of the boathouse gave
him the creeps. He sighed and hastily moved to turn on the light. Why can' I
ever enjoy bein' alone at night? Why can' I manage to be alone at all?
He finished his glass of wine in disappointment, as drowsing away comforted
by the rich red liquid hadn't worked out this time. He didn't feel a bit
comforted. In a mood like that and at that time of the night, he would
usually have put on some clothing provocative enough to catch the eye and
head off to town to do a bit of bar hopping and a lot of drinking- most
likely ending up in a strange bed with someone he hardly knew. But since a
few weeks, that didn't satisfy him any longer. Though avoiding the thought,
Remy knew well enough that his sleeping around was all about pretending to
be loved. Spending the first years of his life as an abandoned street kid had
left it's traces and though being an empath, grown up Remy now tended to
take mere lust for real affection.

Remy sobbed. He was absolutely sure that he would never be loved by anyone.
Who could possibly fall for a messed up ex-hustler like him? No, all he
could hope for was arousing sexual desires in other people. Thanks to his
damned empathy, that would always work! He shivered at remembering the
feelings he had received from most of the X-men since his return from
Antarctica. His shields weren't as firm as they used to be, and he hadn't
been able to deal with the loathing that encountered him. So there he was
now, banned to the boathouse.

The young Cajun paced his living room, unable to come up with something to
distract himself from mere brooding. Going to bed was no option, he felt
absolutely unable to sleep right now. Merde! I'm not dat good in living on
my own anymore, huh? Sure, he had survived a childhood on the streets and
many more challenges as he grew older- but surviving was one thing, enjoying
life was something very different and that knowledge was a heavy burden on
Remy's soul.

All of a sudden, he was startled by someone knocking on the door. ''Ya still
awake in there, Gumbo?'' Remy smiled relieved at recognizing Logan's voice
and let his visitor in. He didn't want Wolverine to see him weak and
brooding and did his best to stick to his ever playful charming mask. C'est
de la bonne chance! Pas de telepath, I can manage to lead Wolverine on the
wrong track!

''Merde, homme, you almost gave me a heart attack! Remy ain't dat used to
someone callin' in so late!'' Remy flashed the older man a smile that was an
intoxicating mixture between seduction and casuality.

''Guess usually you're the one paying late night visits, Cajun?!'' Logan
smirked at the younger man.

Remy turned away quickly, trying not to show how much that playful remark
had actually hurt him. Oui, dat's all dey see in you: Remy 'de slut'
LeBeau. I thought Logan was better than de rest o' them. Ah, see? C'est ca!
You're a silly slut, Le Beau, deserve your reputation! His nagging thoughts
were interrupted by Logan's dark voice: ''Wow, all those candles- are ya
sure ya weren't expecting someone special tonight?'' he went on mocking the
young thief and sat down on Remy's worn couch.

''Uhm... Maybe I'm de romantic type, non?'' Remy said as lighthearted as he
could.

''I didn't mean to disturb ya, but as I saw yer lights were still on I
thought I could as well pay ya a visit. That park is so boring, it gives me
a really hard time when I have to-- check the surroundings.''
Check de surroundings? Ah, you don' foolin me, Wolverine. You are here for
somethin' else, n'est-ce pas?

Remy took his place next to his visitor. ''Oui, de park is borin' in de
night. Mais Logan, what is it you came for really? Can' fool Remy, eh? De
empathy, cher!'' he almost chuckling reminded the man next to him.

Wolverine frowned. Could the empath feel the wishes he himself wasn't able
to come to terms with? First of all, he was concerned about the young thief,
even more since he had escaped Antarctica and seemed so gloomy.
But still, there was something more about his concern. It had started some
weeks ago, when Logan had had a remarkable wet dream about a graceful
redhead sucking him off. It had came as a mayor shock for him to see the
desirable creature kneeling in front of him all of sudden raise it's head
and red on black eyes had stared at him, sparkling maliciously. However,
after waking up panting and cursing his imagination to consider the lean
Cajun an object of desire, he couldn't stop reviving the delightful scene
again and again in his mind.

And tonight, returning from the pub, Wolverine had made up his mind to go
see the creature that kept him up at night if it was not sneaking into his
dreams.

Embarrassed, he avoided the Cajuns curious gaze.'' Well- Remy- ya see, I'm
worried about ya. Ya stick to yerself so much these days. Thought ya
probably needed someone to talk to.''

''Dat's very kind, mon ami, Mais Remy's just fine. Remy's a survivor!''
Merde, Remy's a psycho to bring it to de point!

Logan felt uncomfortable. What am I doing here after all? Damn it, did ya
really think ya could pay the kid a visit and he'd be on his knees right
away? Face it, yer old enough to be his grandfather at least and so just
keep that dirty thoughts of yers in yer own mind!

Remy was startled. The emotions he sensed in Logan were a mixture of
discomfort, anger, longing and ...desire. Could it be the older man lusted
after him? Oh non, it's Logan, he's de only one I really like among de
X-men. I really don' wanna upset him, merde, it's Wolverine!! He could rip
me into with dem claws! But I can' get down on him. Please, don' make me
have to! Not now. Not tonight! Dieu, let me be wrong 'bout his emotions!
Logan could smell the Cajuns fear. It was likely he could feel Logan’s
passion for him. Smelling the young thief's fear was even more arousing.
Sitting next to Remy became almost unbearable, as Logan indulged in the
sweet and spicy smell that was so utterly Remy's- pepper, cinnamon,
cigarettes, fear and sex, lingering always around him, ready to burst out.
It was enough to drive Logan feral, it wakened the Wolverine, ready to claim
that delicious piece of flesh. Logan struggled hard to keep in control,
watching the demonic eyes in front of him widen in anticipation and shock.

He sat without moving, imagining the exotic sight Remy must have been to see
in New Orleans: Redhead complexion, small freckles splattered on graceful
cheeks and nose, contrasting the disturbing yet beautiful red on black eyes.
Pretty soon, it came to Logan’s mind what a torture life must have been for
the unprotected street kid Remy had been back than. Being so obviously a
mutant must have made his life hell.

Logan's heart ached at these thoughts and with surprise he felt his feral
side retreat and realized that it wasn't only lust that brought him to the
Cajun tonight. What was it? Was it...love?

He slowly reached out to touch Remy's cheek. The young man flinched away.
Than it hit Remy- it was Wolverine! He dared not to upset him and quickly
started to apologize. In Remy's eyes, Logan's need to touch him could only
have generated by one single motivation.

''Sorry, Logan, didn' mean to! Whacha wan' Remy to do? Can make you feel
real bien, it's all in your choice!'' he purred, intend on charming his way
out of Wolverine's anger. He would lose his last real friend among the
X-men, had obviously lost him already and got a john in exchange. But all he
had to concentrate on now was trying to please the older mutant. To save
himself from the rage of a rejected, feral Wolverine.

Remy started to kiss the palm caressing his cheek, he licked it and moved
closer to the older mutant.

Logan couldn't believe what was happening. Why was the Cajun giving him what
he hadn't yet asked for? He shuddered at the exquisite sensation Remy's
tongue left behind. He couldn't resist and pulled the young mutant close to
him, claiming his lips with an eager kiss, parting Remy's teeth, exploring
the sweet mouth of his with his tongue. He stopped after a while, having to
catch some breath. Letting the Cajun go, he felt feverish hands touching his
chest, removing his shirt, a tongue licking his nipples, making him groan
out with pleasure. But before Logan could indulge into that arousing
feeling, trained slender fingers unzipped his jeans, got his underwear out
of their way, freeing his throbbing erection.

And albeit his pleasure, Logan at that moment realized there was something
very wrong about Remy going down on him. He had enjoyed the boys
ministrations, adored the touch of his trained hands... That was it!
Trained! Trained! Now it made sense what the Cajun had told him.. 'Make you
feel bien...all your choice'

Logan looked at the beautiful, submissive creature at his knees. Just like
in his dreams, and yet light-years away from it. Logan didn't know what to do
and just pushed the kid away.

A frightened gaze met his angry eyes.
''Non, please, don' hurt Remy! Did I do somethin' wrong! So sorry, Logan,
S'il vous plait! Make it all up to you!''

''Hell, kid, I won't hurt ya and I certainly don't want ya to be my whore,
got it!?'' He got himself properly dressed in a haste.

Tears started to fill the Cajuns eyes. Logan’s anger hurt him badly.
Looking at the miserable being on the floor, Logan calmed himself down.
Shouldn't scare the hell out of the kid.

''Common, Gumbo, don't ya cry. I'm sorry I didn't want to scare ya. I just
don't like it that way. Ya didn't enjoy what we did, and that just doesn't
feel good. Now, get up, will, ya?''

Shivering, the young Cajun stood up, but he dared not to look at Logan.
''Je suis desole, Logan.'' He muttered ''Sorry, I displeased you!''

Wolverine scolded his body for getting aroused again at the kid's
submissiveness. If ya knew how sexy ya are, kiddo!

''That's what it's about, Gumbo. Ya don't have to please me as if had paid
for ya. Ya should enjoy yerself too!''

Remy was confused. What was it Logan's feelings told him? Anger, lust, yes,
still, lust and concern. Concern and warmth. Had he mistaken the man? Was he
maybe interested in more than just conquering his body?

''Dat's so confusing, Logan. See Remy's just dat, a whore, don' know
better!''

Logan stood up and gently lay his arms around the Cajuns trembling body.
''Rems, don't ya say so. Yer no whore.'' The red on black eyes glanced at him
angrily and desperate.

''I am! I whored myself since I was nine years old. So, de X-men are right
to call me slut, and I won't be anything else ever!''

Logan gently placed his lips on the Cajuns wet cheeks, kissing away his
tears.

''Ya were a kid struggling to survive on the streets back than. Ya were a
victim of cruel circumstances. But that's over now, Remy. I'd like to make
ya happy, kid. If ya want me to, that is...Ya just have to let me know your
boundaries okay?'' Logan looked up and saw the exotic eyes watching him fill
with tears again.

''Common, then, Rems, what is it, did I say something that hurt ya?''
''No'' came the whispered respond. ''It's just that no one ever asked me
about my boundaries before. No one wanted to make me happy...''
It hurt Logan to hear that. How could it be that a person so goodhearted
and gentle as the boy in front of him had been treated like dirt all his
life long? It's no wonder the kid started to feel like dirt, too. Under that
kinda circumstances, even a much stronger person's self confidence would be
broken- and Remy- hell, he was a kid- is still not very much more than that!
''That's a shame, kiddo! Ya see: If ya don't like anything I'll do, ya tell
me so, and I'll stop. I promise!'' Remy hid his face beneath his long
auburn bangs. Shame burned his cheeks.

''Logan, I'm afraid I really don' know what I like you doing and what I don'
like. So you just do what you want, non?''

Logan lifted the younger man's chin up with his hand and held Remy’s eye. The
boy looked confused and ashamed.

'' Rems, we leave it be for now, okay? Ya look like ya could use some
sleep!''

''Please, don' be angry with Remy! Just wanna please you, Logan!''
Hell, when would the kid ever stop that?? Logan knew he was in for a though
ride.

''Listen, once again, I'm not angry or anything! I messed you up in the
middle of the night, it's my turn to apologize. I'l l come see ya tomorrow,
If ya want. So, sleep well, good night, Gumbo!'' The young man nodded and
waved good-bye.

Logan was about to take his leave but opening the door, he couldn't resist
from turning around again. He looked at the delicate form, now curled up in
the far end of the couch. The Cajun's face looked absent but from the way he
held his knees close to him, hands trembling slightly, Logan could tell he
felt hurt.

''Rems-'' Damnit, he looks so gorgeous and vulnerable- how can I find the
right words to reassure him?
''- -I don't understand ya, but it seems I--- love things that aren't easily
understood.''

The alien eyes gazed at him in surprise, as Wolverine decided to get to the
point no matter what the Cajun's reaction would be.

''Yer so very young and beautiful, ya see- I couldn't imagine ya would like
to be with such an old bastard as me!''

Remy raised himself and walked slowly towards the older man still holding
his place in the doorstep, until they stood face to face.

Remy felt himself tremble, but nevertheless he moved forward and carefully
kissed Logan. This time, he kissed him almost shyly, but out of a real need
to feel the other mutants lips.

''How could y' think Remy don' want you, cher? I'm so – I can’ believe what
you just said! Ce vrai, Logan, you would like me bein' yours ?'' Logan
pulled the younger man close to him.

''Hell, kid, who's the empath here? Of course I mean it. I want ya, though
yer a real mystery to me most of the time, boy.'' He gently kissed the tip of
his new lovers nose. ''Je t'adore, Logan!'' The demon eyes filled with tears
again - but this time they were a campaigned by the sweetest smile Wolverine
had ever seen in his whole long life.

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