Author: Sirene
Series: A Late Guest (part5)
Pairing: Logan/Remy
Disclaimer: Marvel owns Remy and Logan (unfortunately), no money is made on
my behalf. The song quoted is one of my favorites and copyright protected
(PolyGram records) ^-^
Archiving: Just give me a little hint!
Feedback: Gladly accepted
Rating: R
Note: AU
Summary: After a passionate night, Remy thinks Logan still sees him as a
whore and runs away. Desperately, Logan tries to find his lover. Can they
work it out?
 

I've been out walking
I don't do too much talking these days
These days
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
And all the times I had the chance to

I stop my rambling
I don't do too much gambling these days
These days
These days I seem to think about
How all the changes came about my ways
(...)

I had a lover
I don't think I'll risk another these days
These days
(...)

I stop my dreaming
I won't do too much scheming these days
These days
These days I sit in corner stores and count the time in quarter tones to ten
Please don't confront me with my failures
I have not forgotten them

Nico: Chelsea Girl, These days (Jackson Brown)
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan woke up with a big smile on his face and a sleeping Cajun sprawled
possessively against his body.
He carefully freed himself from Remy's embrace and chuckling put a pillow in
the kid's arms.
Remy looked incredibly young and vulnerable and Logan could have looked at
his lover like that for ages.
But being no 24/7 person at all, he felt it would be a good thing to get up,
have a walk all by himself and buy the ointment he wanted to get for Remy's
bruises.
He would have to learn to be a bit more careful with the kid - or Remy would
have to get used to wearing his marks.
The mere thought of it turned his blood into fire.
His. Finally, the boy belonged to him entirely and that was an exquisite
feeling.
Remy sighed in his sleep as Wolverine brushed his lips over his lover's
throat. He considered waking the kid up with caresses, leading them both
into passionate love making again, but decided to deny himself the pleasure
until later. Staying on the edge was too delightful a torment to miss.
Trying not to disturb the sleeping boy any further, Logan got dressed in a
haste and disappeared as silently as he could into the dawn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A tight grip on his wrist. A heated body pressing against him, shivering
with want. Eyes glittering dangerously, a tongue thrusting into his mouth,
his heart pounding heavily in his chest, ready to burst with delight as he
was stretched and impaled on his lovers hot pulsing shaft. Filled. Taken.
Loved.
Remy rocked his hips back and force with sleepy abandon. But why couldn't he
find a body responding to his needs?
In utter disappointment, the young thief's hands stroked the sheets that
still radiated some of his lover's heat.
“Cher?” red on black eyes opened lazily, blinking when the warm morning
sunlight hit the sensitive irises.
No answer.
*Where did he go? Mon Dieu, what do I do if he left me? Non, please, don'
let me down like dat, cher*
Chiding himself for the sudden pang of fear that made his pulse rise, Remy
tried to calm down. Why would his lover leave him behind for no reason at
all? That just wasn't like Wolverine. But could he really count on it? How
many times before had he been forsaken just like that, after a passionate
night, without getting any explanation? He sighed and curled himself up into
a ball on Logan's side of the bed.
*Don't be such a chicken, LeBeau, he'll be right back, c'est certain!*
But then, Remy's blood froze in his veins. On the nightstand lay a small
bunch of banknotes. With shaking hands he reached out to examine them. Forty
dollars. Remy's cheeks blushed with anger and humiliation. How could he have
been so damn stupid to trust Wolverine? After all, the Canadian was just
another one of the X-men, people who obviously hated Remy, who had left him
to die in Antarctica and shunned him ever since his return.
Everything made perfect sense in the Cajun's eyes. Probably the X-men had
some kind of bet on, 'how fast do you get to fuck the thief ?' or something
like that. Wolverine had used him for a good fuck and a better laugh with
the rest of the team.
Tears ran down the young thief's face as he rose and got dressed. No way was
he going to stay here any longer. He didn't want to look into Logan's
sneering face when he came back.
Remy packed his few belongings in his bag and took a last look at the money
Logan had apparently designed as a payment for last nights joy. How
degrading and hurtful it was to be considered nothing more than a cheap
whore by the person that meant the world to him! Remy wiped his eyes and
ashamed of the way his heart ached he flew the place that had been like
heaven for him mere hours ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wolverine couldn't have the slightest idea of what was going on with his
lover as he strolled along the market which had finally opened, delighting
in the exotic scents and sounds teasing his keen senses.
After buying some ointment, a delicate necklace, for sale among other
jewelery, caught his attention. It was made mainly out of seashells and just
a few beads. Shimmering like moonlight and beautiful in it's plainness,
Logan bought it at once. He was pleased with the thought of how well it
would suit the Cajun, underlining his sensitive mind and contrasting the
fiery spirit that was Remy.
Logan hoped his boy would like the gift. As he wanted to get some spiced tea
as well, the Canadian realized he had forgotten most of his money in their
room. He didn't mind though, it would be nice to return with the Cajun and
see the boy marvel at the exotic goods and watch him discuss and fight with
the dealers like he had done yesterday - it seemed to be build in the boy's
system always to make a deal that held most advantages for him. Logan
grinned at his musings as he walked back to their hotel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy muttered the meanest curses he could come up with as the cash machine
refused to spit out his card again. Why did all the shit always happen at
once?
Even worse, the intense sunlight was bugging him to no end, as his shades
were still in Logan's jacket. Remy did his best to arrange his long bangs
over his eyes. The Cajun didn't have a clue where to go to now and
heartbroken as he was, he didn't really care what would happen with him. All
casually, he snatched some sunglasses away from a store's outside display.
He might not have practiced for some time, but stealing was an ability Remy
would never lose. Pleased at the thought Remy next got himself some coke.
Well, if life had thrown him back on the streets once more, he would take
the challenge! The young thief was in his very element, holding on to the
comforting thought that the man he was today would get ahead much easier
than the weak street urchin he used to be.
He spend the whole day wandering through the streets, grabbing something to
drink here, some cigarettes there. For the evening, he was absolutely
planning on picking a wallet and going out. If anyone knew how to chase away
gloom and despair, than it was Remy LeBeau! The Cajun tried his best not to
think about Logan.
At some point he realized he had entered one of the most rundown quarters of
the city, hustlers, pimps and dealers everywhere he looked- just like in one
of his nightmares, where he was again and again forced to sell his body to
strangers. Remy fought for calmness. He would just walk on by, due to his
foreign looks, people considered him more of a customer than anything else.
Dealing with the female whores was hard enough, but as he saw more and more
boys hanging around on the sidewalk, Remy increased his pace. He didn't want
to have anything to do with them! His hands started to shake badly as he
noticed one of the boys was walking right up to him, blocking his way.
The kid looked at him with an expression designed to be seductive, but Remy
easily recognized it as the fake it was. The boy couldn't be much older than
eleven but from the way the sweat glittered on his face and his pupils were
dilated Remy was almost certain the young hustler was doing drugs.
“Hey, Mister, wanna have a good time? Fifty bucks and I'm all yours!” the
boy had caught his arm.
Harder than intended, Remy shoved him away. The whole situation made his
stomach turn.
“Woah, wait, Mister, we can change the price! How 'bout thirty?” The broken
English and the pleading eyes reminded Remy of himself at that age,
desperately trying to please men he despised with all his heart in order to
survive.
Rendered compassionate by his memories, the Cajun tried to be friendly with
the kid, but his voice still sounded cold.
“Non, petit, I'm not interested!”
“Twenty then?”
The boy kept running along next to him. Unnerved, Remy caught the skinny kid
and pressed him against a wall.
“Listen, petit, I don' wanna buy you! I'd give y' money if I had some!”
The boy sensed his kindness and encouraged, he pushed forward.
“I know, Sir, you a nice man! You a cute man! Why not give it a try? I'm
sure you have some money left, if you only search your pockets, don't you?
I'm really worth it, I promise!”
Remy's face contorted. He was about to hit the poor kid. Instead, he
released his grip on him and ran away as fast as he could, followed by the
hustler's curses. He didn't have to understand his native tongue to tell the
boy was calling him everything bad he could come up with.
There was his past, back with a vengeance, striking him right in the face!
Tears ran down Remy's cheeks. He had escaped all that long time ago. He
didn't want it back! Yes, yes, yes, he could survive on the streets. After
all, he was the prince of the thieves! He could turn a trick. He wouldn't be
on the bottom end of the food chain any longer.
But wouldn't he betray everything he had fought so hard if he returned on
the streets now?
And even worse, betray the love and trust of his father, whom he knew had
been proud as Remy joined the X-men to lead a better life then he would ever
come to know?
Betray – Logan's feelings for him?
No! Those couldn't be considered love. The Canadian had hurt him too badly.
Or had he misjudged the whole situation maybe? He felt so confused!
One thing was for sure: With losing Logan, Remy had lost his last connection
to the X-men as well.
There was no way back.
Miserably, Remy watched the ships entering and leaving the harbor. If only
he could leave with one of them!
If only his thoughts would stop spinning around like that, if he could
escape a haunting past, a torturing present and only look forward into the
future.
But he couldn't. Once again he was trapped in the mess that was his life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan was desperate. He hated to admit it, but it was senseless to search
the Cajun any longer. The city was simply too big. Wolverine had checked out
every single place they had been to yesterday, hoping to see Remy like some
ghost of past joy, after he had found their room empty and Remy gone.
Now, he would have to give up. Tired and exhausted, he walked to the harbor.
His fingers tightly grabbed the seashell necklace he'd bought for Remy and
tears rushed to his eyes.
Staring out at the sea, he found no use in fighting them anymore.
Wolverine hadn't cried in ages. It was not that he tried to pretend
toughness; he just had experienced so many sad things in his life that he
had reached a point where tears didn't come easy any longer.
Yet now, over losing a messed up, skinny kid, Logan found his ability to cry
coming back to him.
All of a sudden, he caught a glimpse of auburn hair disappearing right
behind a corner.
He didn't believe his eyes. It just couldn't be! But he ran after the
phantom as fast as he could, clinging to this final hope.
His heart felt like bursting in relief at really recognizing the Cajun from
behind.
Without hesitating a second, Logan sped up his pace and reaching the thief,
he caught him in an iron embrace. Shocked, Remy fought the older man's hold
on him. Cursing and struggling, he finally managed to turn around and stared
into the Canadians face in disbelief.
Remy had never seen Wolverine crying before and the state the older mutant
was in made his heart miss some beats.
*It's all my fault! I should 'ave talked wit' him instead of running away-
but I was too much of a coward! I hurt him badly! Mais- didn't he hurt me as
well?*
His empathy picked up Logan's pain and Remy didn't know what to believe any
longer.
“Christ, Remy! I'm so glad I found ya, kid! Ya scared the shit out of me, ya
know that? Why did ya leave me, love? Never ever do that again!” Logan
stammered without loosening his grip on the Cajun.
“Let me go, Logan!” Wolverine couldn't believe his ears. Why did the his
lover hiss at him like that?
He tried to pull the squirming kid closer.
“Rems, I thought I'd never see ya again in my life! I searched ya all day!
Why are ya angry with me? What did I do wrong?”
Remy could feel Logan's sadness, relief and confusion rushing through him,
his body started shaking from the intensity of the other man's emotions.
“How dare y' ask me what y've done wrong, homme? How dare y' even toucher
moi?”
“Damn it, I ain't gonna let ya run away from me again. Ya gonna tell me what
I did to make ya go crazy like that! I deserve an answer, boy!”
Remy flinched again in the older mutants arms.
“You tricked Remy, you had your fun! Now let go!”
“Tricked ya, kid? Where does that come from? I went away this morning to buy
some ointment fer ya, while ya were still asleep. Didn't want to wake ya. It
took some time as most stores were still closed- same fer the market we
passed by the day before, remember that one? I bought some stuff, realized I
ran outta money and went back to the hotel to find our room empty and you
gone. Then I started looking fer ya - that is my version of what happened
today, kiddo! Maybe ya tell me yers?”
The crimson eyes locked with Wolverine's. Remy knew Logan was telling the
truth.
“You- you left money on de nightstand- I- I misunderstood- thought y' payed
me for letting you fuck me. I- merde, it looked so much like it, Logan!”
Remy stammered, trembling in the older mutant's arms.
As if he had burned himself, Logan took his hands off the Cajun.
“Damn it, kid! I can't believe ya came up with that sick idea. Ain't I
trustworthy enough fer ya?Ya know what, Rems? We don't stand a chance if ya
can't trust me at all!”
Remy saw the infinite hurt in Wolverine's eyes. All his empathy picked up
from the man was a world of pain.
“You're ditchin' Remy, cher?” he asked in a tiny voice.
“Don't know how to work that one out, Rems! Better I don't bother ya again!
It might surprise ya, Remy, but there are still people on this planet who
enjoy making love and do it plainly out of pleasure! What would it be like
if we remain lovers? Can't I even give ya a present if I wanna? Would ya
always feel payed fer ya love or whatever it is yer feeling towards me?”
Wolverine's voice sounded bitter and he avoided the Cajun's gaze.
“Logan, look at me please? I'm sorry I overreacted- but – after all dat
happened in my life- after bein' left on de ice- I don' trust easily. I just
can'!”
Now it was the Cajun's turn to start crying. Ashamed, he bit his lower lip.
“Don' wanna lose you cher!” Wolverine let out a big sigh and carefully ran a
finger over the thief's cheeks. Angry as he was, he couldn't stand it to see
his lover so badly shaken. He wouldn't give up. Not yet.
But Logan really didn't see a way to be together with someone who obviously
was a complete stranger to the concept of a relationship based on real
affection.
In a much more tender way than before, he addressed the shivering Cajun.
“Kiddo! I know ya were hurt in the past. And I know as well I can't heal
past wounds. But believe me: I wish I could! I 'd take every task to be yer
lover! If ya would only let me. But ya don't. Ya fight me. So ya see, Rems:
It ain't me who's dumping ya, you're dumping me instead!”
The alien eyes grew big.
“Non, non, I don' want to do dat! Tell me what I should do, cher!”
“No, damn it! Ya can decide fer yerself! Yer a grown up man, Cajun, even
though ya often give me the idea yer still a flamin' teen!”
Remy carefully reached out for the older mutant's hand. He was more than
relieved as Logan accepted his caress.
“I don't wanna run away no more, cher. I will learn to trust you, Logan! You
still love Remy?”
“Shit, Gumbo! If I didn't love ya that much, I would have beaten the hell
out of ya the moment I found ya!”
Laughing in relief, they caught each other in a tight embrace. Wolverine
buried his nose in the thief's soft reddish mane. How he had missed that
scent!
“Rems, I've got two questions fer ya. Wanna hear 'em?”
Remy stood back a bit to meet his lover's gaze.
“Mais oui, cher!”
“First- close yer eyes and open yer hand.”
Excited, Remy obeyed. He felt- seashells?!
“Okay, have a look!”
Remy marveled at the frail necklace Wolverine had bought for him that
morning. It was so plain and nevertheless beautiful- He loved it at once!
“Well, kiddo, I wanna know if ya'd like to wear that necklace as a symbol
fer our love. And as long as ya wear it, it shall remind ya off what I feel
fer ya- shall tell ya each day you're no whore, no traitor, but the person I
love. What do ya think about that, Rems?”
Remy couldn't help his eyes watering again. Overwhelmed, he passionately
kissed his lover.
“Oh cher! Dat's de most special thing I ever got in my life! I 'll love t'
wear it!”
Wolverine smiled and gently put the necklace in it's rightful place as Remy
lowered his head.
“Merci,mon coeur! Mais Logan, what is de second question?”
Lifting the Cajun's chin up with one finger, Wolverine locked his eyes with
crimson ones.
“Were ya serious when ya said ya only let me fuck ya last night? Didn't ya
enjoy it like I did? Did it because ya wanted to?”
Remy blushed.
“Aw, cher, y' know de truth, don' you? Liked it a lot, me! Y' a great lover,
Logan!”
“ I do what I can alley cat!” Wolverine smirked.
“So what about blowing this joint and heading to the ocean right now? Can't
wait to be alone wit' ya – making sure you're so spend ya won't even think
about running away again!” He softly brushed his fingertips over the Cajun's
groin.
“Dat sounds just fine t' me, cher!” Remy purred as Logan walked him away
from the harbor.

Tbc