Author: BJ
Rating: NC17 (to be safe)
Disclaimer: Marvel owns them, I'm not making money so
please don't sue me!
Summary: The last day of the trip and both men reflect
on what they've learned about each other and
themselves.

*****

Lying in front of the warm campfire, Logan pushed
himself slowly up on his elbow and looked down at the
young man curled against his chest. It was their last
night alone. In the morning they would hike back down
the mountain and head back to the madness of Xavier's.
It was sure to be bad, the X-men were a bunch of two
faced know- it- all's as far as Logan was concerned.
They preached equality and second chances, but if you
weren't one of the original five you might as well
work for Magneto. He was a stubborn old bastard, there
wasn't anything they could say or do that would hurt
him. The kid... the kid was a different story. He'd go
if he thought he was causing a problem.

Logan didn't want that happening.

The silver moonlight and golden glow from the fire
mixed in the boy's dark red hair to form a shimmering
crown suitable for the young Prince of Thieves. His
fingers itched to touch the glowing strands of gold
and silver, but he refrained. He had learned a lot
about the boy in front of him over the past five days.
He learned that he was heir to the throne of the
infamous Thieves Guild of New Orleans. He also learned
that he spoke eight languages fluently, played the
piano, was married and exiled from his home, family,
and brand new wife on the same day, and that he loved
to cook.

The most important thing he learned was that he would
have to be careful with the boy. During their "lesson"
earlier in the night Logan found a scar that sent a
cold shiver down his spine. When he asked about it
Remy told him that he'd gotten too close to a fire
when he was very small, and from his scent he'd
somehow convinced himself that was true. Logan
however, would recognize a brand anywhere. From it's
position high up on the boy's hip he knew it would
have had to hurt like a bitch too. Especially since
the kid had to have been little more than a baby when
it happened.

Branded. Like some kind of animal.

It made his protective feelings surge. He would have
to be patient, and he would have to give A LOT more
than he received... funny thing was, he found that he
would gladly do that if he had to, if it meant Remy
felt safe. The attack the kid suffered through when he
was just a small boy left him with festering wounds on
his soul that Logan knew would probably never fully
heal. He stared at the profile of his boy's sleeping
face, God how he ached to just push the boy onto his
stomach and fuck him until he screamed! He wanted to
replace the boy's fear of touch with a desperate need
to BE touched! He wanted to be buried deep inside the
kid and never, ever pull away.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and held it
until the beast inside him quieted. No, he would do
this right! Remy was worth the time, he deserved to be
worshiped not taken like an animal! He carefully ran
his hand down the sleeping boy's arm and kissed his
shoulder through the tee shirt he wore, damn the kid
smelled sweet. He knew he would never tire of the
taste, the scent, the feel of him. He felt himself
harden as he imagined finally claiming the boy...
maybe it was time.

*****

Touch.

It came as naturally as breathing to most people. A
mother's soft kiss, the caress of a lover, these were
things most people remembered when they took the time
to think about it.

Remy was NOT most people.

Remy only remembered the darker side of touch. PAIN.
FEAR. REJECTION. BEING TREATED AS AN OBJECT. These
were the memories of Remy LeBeau. They haunted him day
and night, kept him separate and apart from the rest
of humanity. He built walls to keep out their feelings
and wore masks so they never saw his fear. It was
perfect until he followed his Stormy to Xavier's
mansion... until a certain Canadian broke through the
walls.

Everything inside of him screamed RUN! The little
voice in his mind warned him HE'LL HURT YOU! But his
heart was lonely, and tired of always being afraid.
His heart told the voice to be quiet, told his body to
remain very still, and he cautiously lowered his
impossibly strong shields and allowed the Canadian in.

*****

Remy woke with a gasp when he felt the kiss and the
man's hardening cock. NO! Not again! He lurched away
and would have rolled into the fire if Logan didn't
grab him, " Remy? Kid? What happened? What's wrong?"

Remy was shaking. He wasn't strong enough to escape
the older man! He sobbed when he realized the only way
he would get out of this alive was to relax and
submit.
" please don' hurt me! I'll let y' fuck me, jus'
please... don' hurt me!"

Logan was shocked, " Remy?"

Remy heard the in the gravely voice and peeked up
through his long bangs at the man who held him in an
iron grip. Wolverine wasn't moving, he was just
staring down at him. Why hadn't he attacked yet? What
was his game?

*****

When Logan was sure he wouldn't fall into the fire he
slowly released his grip. Damn, the kid would have
bruises, but that was better than dealing with burns.
" Wanna tell me what that was all about," he asked
quietly, and slowly slid back away from the boy so he
wouldn't feel threatened.

Remy wrapped the blanket they were sleeping on tightly
around his body the moment Wolverine was off it. He
was breathing hard and shaking.... oh Mon Dieu, a
panic attack, and Logan had seen the whole thing. He
turned away from the man and dropped his head, why had
he thought he could do this? What kind of fool was he
to think it would be different this time? " C-could
y' hand me m' pants," he whispered. He stood and
pulled on the offered jeans over his boxers then he
sat silently down with his knees drawn up to his
chest.

Logan could smell the stench of fear subside as the
kid pulled on his pants. It was replaced by shame and
regret and Logan was determined to find out why. When
the boy was settled by the fire again he slowly
crawled closer.
" I thought we were past that? What just happened
darlin'?" He used the pet name in hopes that it would
put the boy's mind at ease.

"I..." Logan could see a blush rise on the kid's face.
"I h-have panic attacks." He was so quiet even Logan,
with his sensitive hearing, had a hard time hearing
him. " I h-have pills... didn' want t' bring 'em.
Didn' wan' y' t' know..."

Logan reached out, but waited for the tiny nod from
his young lover before he wiped a stray tear from his
face. "Rem, I don't care about that, but you should
have told me. Was it something I did?..." Remy
wouldn't look at him and it bothered him. He didn't
EVER want the young man to be afraid to look at him.
He tipped up his chin, "Rem?"

" I...I felt y' gettin'... gettin' h-hard, I was
confused...'M sorry Cher, I messed everything up!"

He moved to stand, but Logan pulled him hard against
his chest, " No, ya ain't runnin' away anymore! I
wasn't thinkin.... well Hell, I WAS thinkin' that's
what caused this mess." He took a deep breath when he
felt the boy relax. " I was thinkin' that it was time
for me to show you one more thing. I...I wanna make
love to ya Rem. Not fuck... make love. I wanna take
that last step. I wanna claim ya as mine."

Remy was speechless in his arms. Once again every part
of his being was screaming RUN. Every part, but his
heart. " I'm so afraid Cher," he finally managed to
whisper.

Logan knew how much it was costing the boy to trust
him this much. He knew that if he didn't do this right
Remy would be lost to him. He COULD NOT mess this up.
He kissed the silky red hair and tried to pour all the
love he'd ever felt for the young Cajun into the next
words, "I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN." It was his solemn
oath, as good as blood. He would end his own life
before he would break it.

*****

Remy was shaking, he wanted to believe him! He'd
dreamed of hearing those words since he was old enough
to fully understand what they meant. He knew in his
heart that the older man meant every word, but it was
so hard to trust when every time he'd ever trusted
before ended with him being hurt again. Logan was
still except for his large rough hand running up and
down his spine. Remy took a deep breath and pushed
away, just enough to see his eyes.

Logan froze as the boy stared up into his eyes. He
knew instinctively that Remy was looking for a reason
to trust again, a reason to finally let someone...
anyone close to his heart. Time stood still as he
waited for the boy's decision.

Remy couldn't stop the tiny gasp that escaped him. He
wasn't sure how he knew, or why he knew, but it was
there he was sure of it! Those ancient eyes that had
seen SO MUCH... they held the wisdom of the ages, and
shining through as bright as a star... there was love.
There was compassion and understanding... Logan knew
of all the horrors of the world and he UNDERSTOOD that
Remy was scared. He UNDERSTOOD that it wouldn't be
easy and he didn't mind! He would take as long as Remy
needed, something no one else had ever been willing to
do.

With a shaking hand Remy slowly reached out and ran
his fingers through Logan's thick, black hair. He
smiled a tiny shy smile, it was softer than it looked.
Logan let his head roll into the touch, his eyes
closing in silent thanks. He'd been given his wish,
he'd been given his chance to heal the broken spirit
of his boy. Swallowing hard to try to get moisture to
return to his mouth he broke the silence and
whispered, " Are you ready Remy? Can I show you what
it feels like to make love?"

Remy finally stopped shaking and melted into his
lover's strong embrace, " Show me."

*****

Logan kissed him and breathed deeply the scent of the
wonderful creature who would soon be his other half.
The beast was howling inside, it smelled the fear and
anxiety and desire, and underneath all that the
willingness to submit. Logan needed a moment to get
the beast back under control, " I'll be right back."
He wrapped the blanket back around the boy's shoulders
and walked off into the woods where their supplies
hung. He dropped the duffle and found the tube of
lube. After he pulled the bag back up into the high
branches of the tree he dropped down at it's base. It
had been years since he said a prayer, he felt a
little silly now, but softly he whispered to the sky,
"I ain't a Saint. I ain't even sure I believe you're
really out there listenin', but that boy's some sorta
Angel, he's gotta be... he's so much better than the
rest of us. Help me do right by him, please keep the
animal I got inside me from hurtin' him." He was
stunned to feel wetness on his face as he whispered
one last plea, one that was purely personal,
" Please let me have this...I want him so bad..." He
whispered a mumbled A-men and wiped his face as he
rose and made his way back to the fire.

*****

Remy was getting nervous, he looked anxiously around
the edge of the little campfire. Where was Logan? What
was taking him so long? Then the wind shifted just a
little and carried a whispered prayer to his ears, "
He's scared too." It gave him renewed hope and he
settled more comfortably in front of the fire.

Logan emerged from the trees holding out the tube and
smiled at the sight of his boy bathed in the glow of
the fire and the light of the moon, too perfect to be
merely human... maybe he really WAS an Angel. " Ready
darlin?"

Remy nodded and stood to lay the blanket out again,
" Oui Cher, y' show m' what it's suppose t' be like?"
 

Logan sat on the blanket and waited for Remy to join
him, " Remy? Is... is there anything I need t' know?
Anything that...that might scare ya again? I don't
want ta hurt ya darlin' and-"

Remy stopped him with a wave of a hand. He didn't want
Logan involved with that even by way of mentioning it.

" I really need t' see y' face I think. I need t' know
it's YOU I'm with. Is that gonna be a problem?"

" No darlin', we can work around that. I want ya t'
lay down, I want t' get ya real relaxed before we even
try."

Remy obediently lie down, " Can I keep m' eyes open,
watch what y' doin'?" Remy blushed and added before
Logan had a chance to answer, " I sound like a damn
baby, you don' wan'-"

Logan silenced him with a kiss, "Oh yes I DO want,"
another deeper kiss, "I have wanted since the first
time I ever laid eyes on you." He slowly released a
claw and slid it under his boy's thin tee shirt
cutting it like it was butter.

Remy shivered when the cool metal of the claw touched
his suddenly overheated skin. He reached out and
touched Logan's hand where it cut through the skin and
Logan moaned. Remy felt suddenly empowered, he made
Logan moan!

That was all forgotten then as Logan got down to
serious business.He slowly peeled back the tee shirt
and touched and kissed and licked his way down the
perfect body of his young lover. His cock ached to
just get on with it but he ignored himself and
continued to drive his boy crazy. He wanted Remy to
ask to be taken. He wanted it to be HIS decision.

Remy was moaning and thrashing mildly, some how he had
been magically stripped of his remaining clothes. God,
what was the man DOING to him. He never felt ANYTHING
this good before. If making love was this amazing why
did anybody ever STOP. Logan's hard cock was rubbing
against his side as he continued to torment him and
Remy slowly reached out and touched it.

Logan froze. A soft touch, nearly non-existent on his
burning cock. Cold fingers wrapped around his hot
flesh. He slowly rose to his knees, " Don't let it
go..." The boy had taken him in his hand. Remy NEVER
touched him like this before and the touch was beyond
description.
" See how hot I am for ya darlin? Stroke it, just
like we did before. Remember how good it felt?" He
closed his eyes, just for a second... he was gonna let
his boy pleasure him, just for a second... " Oh Baby,
yer takin' this old man straight t' Heaven..." He
thrust into the gentle grasp a few times before
opening his eyes. He needed to prepare the boy NOW or
it would be too late. The grasp wasn't hard enough to
get him off so he let the young man play while he bent
back to his task.

*****

Remy was fascinated by the hot flesh in his hand. His
never got this hard, well, that he ever let himself
notice. Only the few times here with Logan when he
touched himself. His cock was steadily coming to life
and he reached down and touched his own flesh,
comparing.

Logan gently pulled his hand away, the kid was so new
to this that he'd come with little encouragement. He
wanted this to be special, " Let me do that for ya
darlin'."

Remy groaned," Y' do that soon Logan?" He arched up as
Logan put a cool, slippery finger against his opening
and started rubbing in tiny circles. " Oh
Dieu!...Oh..." He spread his knees wide, Logan's cock
forgotten, and looked down at the smiling man between
his knees.

" Feels nice don't it." He added more lube and
continued the gentle massage. Remy wanted to watch him
but the sensation was too much, he flopped back and
let his knees drop out to the side. Logan
concentrated, this was it. The first finger pushed in
past the tight muscle. Remy started to panic, " Don't!
Look at me darlin, just lift yer eyes and look at me."
He froze there with his finger inside the boy.

Remy's thighs were straining and he wanted to pull
away, something was IN him! It was bad! It was wrong!
It would hurt! there was a little burning pain and he
couldn't hold back the tears as he frantically shook
his head no! Then a strong, sure voice cut through the
panic. "Look at me."
Remy slowly lifted his gaze and saw Logan at his feet.
He was nuzzling his leg, kissing his bent knee, and
the tight knot of panic loosened. Logan... It was
Logan...

Logan's other hand was carefully rubbing the boy,
petting his balls, drifting lightly up and down his
soft cock. Come back to me darlin, he silently
whispered to himself. The boy finally relaxed again
with a shaky sigh, and he kissed the inside of his
long thigh. He slowly continued working on stretching
the young man, preparing him for the real thing...

*****

Remy squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated on
breathing. It was Logan, It was Logan, but his mind
refused to believe. He lurched away and pulled his
knees to his chest, " I can' ... I can' I'm sorry!
Jus' go Logan, go home ... I'll find m' own way back."

Logan wanted to scream! He needed more time! He needed
to show Remy that it would be okay, but how? An idea
started to form in the back of his mind. " Rem?"

Remy didn't turn toward the older man. Logan would
hate him now, and seeing that hate would likely kill
him. Logan was his only friend at the mansion besides
Stormy. It was time to move on now, he had just ruined
that friendship.

Logan moved carefully over to the boy, wiping his
slippery fingers on the corner of the blanket before
touching Remy's shoulder, " I'm sorry kiddo, I wanted
it to be perfect. It was my fault for rushin' ya. I
still want to show you, but this time YOU'LL be taking
the lead."

Remy turned shocked eyes at the old Canadian, " Are y'
crazy! I can' even stand t' have y' touch m'! How am I
gonna lead? I don' KNOW anythin' Logan!

Logan smiled at the show of temper, it meant there was
still a chance. " I'm gonna teach ya. Do ya still
wanna make love Remy, cause I sure do." He reached out
and took Remy's hand and placed it over his hard cock,
"feel how hard I still am?" He rubbed himself
shamelessly in Remy's hand trying to get the kid
interested again. " Oh yeah... damn kid, you got some
talented fingers..."

Remy's attention, once again, was fully focused on the
hard heat in his hand. He loved the way it felt, so
soft, so hot. he brushed the hair from his face and
shifted up to his knees, " I...I do still wanna
learn... but how?"

Logan moaned as the Cajun changed his grip, Damn, he
might not be able to hold on! He slowly stopped the
hands furious stroke. " Slow down darlin'. Do you want
to lie down or should I?"

The questioning look on the young Cajun's face made
Logan smile, " YOU are gonna make love to ME. Do ya
want to be on the top?"

" I don' know how..."

It was such a soft, scared whisper that Logan pulled
him into a hug," I wanna show you something, come
here." Logan stretched out on the blanket and pulled
his knees up. Remy watched, fascinated, as Logan
started touching himself, just the way he was touching
Remy earlier. His eyes grew as first one finger, then
two disappeared inside the Canadian and the older man
started scissoring and thrusting them. " Touch me Rem,
push a finger inside me..."

Remy shook his head, " I can', I'd hurt you...

" Please darlin'? It won't hurt me, it feels so good."
He closed his eyes and moaned softly as if proving the
point. Remy swallowed hard and reached a shaking hand
out toward the older man, " That's it darlin, now just
slowly push inside..."

It was hot, and tight, and wet. Remy looked into
Logan's face, all he saw was ecstasy. Logan slowly
removed his fingers and the opening closed around
Remy, " Imagine yer cock in there... in that hot wet
place. Please darlin, make love to me?"

Remy pulled away a bit too fast and Logan winced, " I
won' fit in there! M' cock-"

"Will feel like heaven." Logan slowly started stroking
Remy until his eyes drifted shut and his hips started
hitching. " Move real close to me Rem." He glanced
over at the lube, " If it'll make ya feel better about
not hurtin' me put some on."

Remy nodded and coated his aching cock with the
slippery substance, " Now what?"

" Push in real slow or you'll come too fast." Logan
wanted to shove the boy into himself. He wanted Remy
to rip him apart, but blood would scare the kid
senseless. He moaned low and hard when he finally felt
the pressure of Remy's cock pushing past the tight
ring of muscle,
" Oh yeah baby... Damn kid, you feel so good..."

Remy's breath caught as the hot, vice like grip closed
around his shaft, " 'M gonna come!"

" Logan grabbed Remy's arms forcing his eyes open and
his attention onto himself, " No! T-try t' control yer
self darlin, ya gotta get in all the way. Take deep
breaths, yer doing so good darlin..."

Remy nodded and closed his eyes, after a few deep
breaths he pushed in deeper until he felt Logan's hard
shaft against his stomach.

Their moans blended with the sounds of the night
creating a glorious new song... THEIR song.

Logan started moving and Remy's eyes shot open, he
looked down in wonder at the man. He finally took the
cue and started moving on his own. This wasn't like
before! This was good... so good. It didn't feel dirty
or wrong, it felt like something he'd been searching
for his whole life! He had no control and his thrusts
were hard and clumsy. He looked down and watched
himself disappear into that impossibly tight opening,
it was his undoing...
 

Logan was lost in his own pleasure and with a primal
scream he shot his hot seed and collapsed under the
young Cajun.

Remy was shaking uncontrollably, drawing painful gasps
of air into overworked lungs. He felt the boy slip out
of him as he softened. Logan became worried when he
started feeling tears on his chest, but he was still
trying to get his own breathing back under control.
" Darlin'," he finally gasped, " Remy, are y'
alright?"

Remy was silent but nodded against his chest. It
wasn't answer enough, but the kid was plastered to him
and he wasn't about to push him away. He waited for
the little sniffs that signaled the end of the
outburst. Remy finally found the strength to roll off
to Logan's side. He still wouldn't meet the man's gaze
so Logan reached out and lifted his face until their
eyes met, " Remy?"

"Was nothin' like before... was magnifique. Why'd that
man have t' hurt m' so bad? Why'd he have t' take this
away from me?"

Logan pulled his young lover close and held him as he
tried to think of an answer that made sense. Truth
was, he had NO IDEA why anybody'd hurt a kid. He
finally just kissed Remy's temple and whispered, "Y'
won't ever be hurt again. Y' mine now and I won't EVER
let y' be hurt again." Remy snuggled up close to his
lover and after a time fell into a deep, dreamless
sleep.

*****

The sky slowly brightened into the pink and gold of a
new day. Remy was strangely silent as they drove back
toward the mansion and Logan finally had to ask what
he was thinking about.

It was a long time before he gathered his thoughts
enough to speak, " Feel like I'm lookin' at th' world
with new eyes. Feel like maybe... maybe evr'thin's
gonna be a'right now." He gave his lover a small smile
and reached out his hand.

Logan took his hand, there was gonna be a shit load of
problems as soon as they got home, but the kid wasn't
thinking about that so he wouldn't bring it up.
There'd be time enough later to worry about that
anyway. Right now he had a six hour drive, a warm
summer breeze, good music on the radio, and a young
lover who was slowly building back his confidence and
becoming an ardent student in the art of making love.

Who could ask for more than that?
 

***END***
 

*Note* Once again, I'm just guessing here! I hope it
wasn't too laughable! The voices want to build on
this... *grumble grumble* I can't seem to write a
short one shot no matter how hard I try! *Sigh*...