Prologue
 

Remy would never tell anyone and this secret would go with him to the grave. He
was grateful that Rogue never got those memories from him when she kissed him,
he couldn’t bare to know that she knew. Not even his precious Stormy had a clue
about what really happened when he ’worked’ for Mister Sinister. At the trial,
they only found out that he had led the Marauders to the Morlock tunnels, which
led to the Massacre.
He shivered in the Antarctic cold as he blew hot breath onto his numb hands.
 

Remy LeBeau had gone to Sinister because he needed help with his powers; they
were out of control. He couldn’t touch anything without making it explode, he
couldn’t pay attention to a person without making him or her feel his emotions,
as he felt theirs. Sinister had promised he could take the powers down on a
level that Remy could handle, all he requested in return was Remy’s cooperation
in a couple of tests. He’d never said what kind of ’tests’, though and Remy had
been too desperate to ask.
So Remy had thereby become Sinister’s favourite lab rat.
When Sinister had gathered the Marauders for his next big task, Sabretooth had
been the first Marauder chosen and the sick bastard had found a perverted
pleasure in violating Remy. Sinister didn’t mind so long as Sabretooth didn’t
kill the kid.
After two months of hell, Sinister finally promised Remy his freedom if he
would lead the Marauders into some tunnels. Remy had accepted, hell, he would
have sold his soul to the devil to get his beloved freedom back. Or maybe
that’s just what he had done?
What he didn’t know was that Sabretooth was told that he could do what ever he
wanted with him, but luckily he got out of the bastard’s reach.
 

So Remy had fled the Massacre, saved a girl from being slaughted, met up with
Storm, joined the X-Men, fell for Rogue, and had been left in the middle of
nowhere by his friends, his family to die for his crimes
If he could have cried he probably would have but his tear ducts seemed to have
frozen and nothing in his life had hurt more than their betrayal of him.
Absolutely nothing. Not the johns when he was a homeless kid, not being
banished from New Orleans… Not even anything Sinister and Sabretooth had ever
done to him hurt this much.
He felt his body weakening. God knows how long he had been out here. He had
staggered around for as long as he could, trying to keep warm, to find food…
Then finally he had to sit down and rest from the weakness he was feeling. He
found that he didn’t have the strength to get up and continue looking for help.
There was no point. He would die, cold and alone.
He closed his eyes and started to give into the darkness, when he noticed
something. He willed himself to open his eyes, but regretted it immediately.
”Non!!”
 
 

Part One
 

Remy awoke startled from his dream. He sat up, panting heavily; his body was
covered in sweat. He looked around the room, making sure he wasn’t in
Sinister’s lab. He recognized his surroundings as the bedroom in the boathouse,
and he sighed with relief as he lay back onto the bed, still panting.
The nightmare had been so real. Ever since he had escaped from Sinister, he’d
had them. And each night they were getting worse, but they had never felt as
real as this before.
”Come on, ’s jus’ a bad dream… he can’t reach y’ here…” His breathing calmed
down and he shut his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but failed.
Frustrated he rose from the bed, put on his silk robe and went to look out of
the window. The full moon was high in the sky, illuminating the nearby forest
and lake. He sighed as he leaned his forehead on the glass and closed his eyes.
Sinister had ”saved” him from Antarctica. Remy had tried to fight him off, but
he had been too weak. It was a fool’s luck that he’d managed to escape
Sinister’s hold after the lunatic scientist had brought him back to his lab.
And when he had met Storm and Shadowcat, he had followed them back to
Westchester for protection from Sinister the scientist couldn’t get entry to
the mansion nor its grounds, though Remy had just told the others another
reason for his return.
So what was he doing alone in the boathouse then? The others had said their
”welcome back”. They said they were happy that he hadn’t died yet they hadn’t
said it with feeling, except for Storm and Wolverine. Rogue had said nothing at
all; she had just turned his back on him whenever they happened to be in the
same room. Cyclops had felt the tension over Remy’s arrival as well, and
thought perhaps it would be best if he stayed out of the mansion for awhile.
Well…atleast Sinister couldn’t get his hands on him again, he thought with a
smirk.
 

**
 

Ororo Munroe made her way down to the boathouse. The sun was shining, the sky
was clear and the wind brought a welcomed cool into the heat. Her blue eyes lit
up when she saw Remy laying on his back on the dock, letting the warm sun
caress his face, torso and long, lean legs. She was so glad that he was back,
she loved him with all her heart and she had missed him so much. She had gone
to Antarctica to look for him as soon as she found out that he had been left
behind, but she couldn’t even find a corpse to mourn. And now he was back…
She sat down beside her ’brother’, used her arms to lean back on as she looked
into the blue sky.
”Nice day, isn’t it?”
”Oui.”
”You sound tired.”
”Didn’ sleep much las’ night.”
”Another nightmare?” She turned her head to look at him in the eyes. ”They have
gotten worse, haven’t they?” No response. ”Are you sure you don’t want me to
move in here with you, Remy?”
Remy smirked, ”Dey need y’ up in de mansion if dere’s an emergency, petite.”
”That’s not a good enough reason, brother. You know how worried I am about you.”
She sighed; sometimes Remy could be so stubborn. She had tried so many times to
explain that she could move in with him, keep him company, or that he could
move into her room in the attic of the mansion. But he refused. He simply
didn’t want to be around any of the X-Men more than necessary. It was still a
puzzle for her why he had come back here. He didn’t want to be with the X-Men,
yet he couldn’t leave the mansion grounds. What hurt her the most was that he
never told her his reasons why. Any fool could see that Remy was slowly
destroying himself by not sharing what was on his mind. One way or another she
would have him trust her full out. She would never leave him behind in some
wasteland because of some mistake he had done in his past. He was her beloved
brother after all.
”Jean’s cooking tonight. Will you be at the mansion for dinner?”
”Non.”
”Fine, then I will come down here and have dinner with you.”
Remy groaned. ”Stormy…”
”Don’t call me that.”
”Ma petite.” He sat up and looked into her beautiful face. He could feel that
her love and worry for him was sincere, but… But what? He sighed. ”I jus’ need
t’ be alone f’ awhile, d’accord?”
His heart broke when he saw her sad eyes, but he didn’t show it on his face.
”Alright, Remy. Remember, if you need me, you know where to find me.” She
leaned in and kissed him on his forehead, then stood up to go back to the
mansion. As she left the docks, she turned with a smile. ”I’ll see you at 7,
then? I’ll bring the food.”
Remy laied back down with a huff, ”Sure, petite.”
 

Ororo went back to the mansion in deep thoughts, she hardly noticed Wolverine
standing on the porch.
”You alright, ’Ro?”
Ororo startled at hearing the voice. She looked up at the porch and smiled a
hello at Logan. ”I am worried about Remy. He is so… withdrawn.” She went to
stand beside her friend and team-mate. She could see the boathouse from here,
and Remy still lay on display in the sun. ”Something is very wrong, Logan.”
”No shit. I take it yer li’l chat with him didn’t give you any more clues ’bout
his problem, then?”
”No, he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it with me.” She glanced at Logan.
”Maybe you should try? You know, a man to man talk.”
Logan smirked as he looked at Ororo’s beautiful figure with her
chocolate-coloured skin, long legs, long white hair, and her bright blue eyes.
”Like he’s gonna tell me somethin’ he doesn’t wanna tell you, darlin’.”
”Can’t you just go and talk with him about something else, then? He needs to
know that I am not the only one here that cares for him, that you are friends
too. If he feels that he is wanted here, he might open up and tell us what’s
wrong.”
Logan turned his eyes back to where Remy lay. ”Yeah, might do that.”
She smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder. ”Thanks.” Then she turned to
go inside the mansion.
Logan put a cigarr to his mouth, lit it, and took a deep breath as he turned
his head to watch Remy roll over to get tanned on his back.
 

**
 

”Hey, Gumbo.”
Remy sighed as he turned his head to the side and opened one of his eyes to
look at Logan, who stood a few meters away from him. ”Move, s’il tu plaîs? Y’
blockin’ de sun.”
Logan grumbled something in reply, and then moved to sit down beside Remy, his
eyes taking in the view. Not the surroundings, but Remy. His handsome face was
hidden in his arms that held up his head off of the ground. His long, auburn
hair, at the moment put in a pony tail, seemed like strings of the finest silk.
His muscular yet slender body, slightly tanned, looked so soft and he longed to
touch it. His ass was hidden beneath those black Speedos, thinking he wouldn’t
mind ripping them open and fucking the Cajun right there and then, but he
controlled himself and simply sighed as he started a conversation, his eyes
following Remy’s legs from thighs to toes.
”Haven’t seen ya around much, kid. Didn’t know you were the loner type.”
”Well, dere’s a lot y’ don’ know ’bout me, homme.”
”Mind sharing?”
Slightly annoyed, Remy pressed his upper body up, and then moved to a sitting
position. ”Look, Logan, I’m not really in de mood f’ a chit chat, d’accord?
What y’ want?”
”You really wanna know what I want?”
”Oui!”
Logan leaned closer to the other man, ”I want you to take a flamin’ grip of
yourself and realise that yer hurtin’ ’Ro by not telling her the truth ’bout
you.”
”I have tol’ her everyt’in’ ’bout me.”
”Bullshit. Yer hidin’ somethin’.” He leaned back as he realised that the tone
in his voice became a bit more aggressive than he had meant to. ”You can trust
her. And you can trust me. If somethin’ botherin’ you, we want ta help you out.”
Remy raised an elegant eyebrow. Since when had the bad-ass Wolverine become a
worried wuss?
Logan didn’t seem to notice Remy’s expression, as he continued, ”I think
whatever it is yer hidin’ from is the reason you’re still here. You need the
X-Men to protect you. Then we have the damn right to know what we’re protectin’
ya from.”
Remy grimaced and he started to stand, ”I have a headache.”
Logan gripped Remy’s wrist, pulled hard and forced him back down on his knees,
”Don’t change the subject, Gumbo.”
Remy glared at him. ”My problems ain’t y’r business, homme.”
Logan’s grip on Remy’s wrist got harder, and it would leave a bruise for sure.
”Now it is.”
”Fuck y’.”
”You wish.”
Before Logan could react, Remy’s other hand shot out at him and his fist hit
Logan straight in the eye. Logan growled as he grimaced from the pain. He let
go of Remy’s wrist and stood up as he glared at the younger man.
”Fine.” Logan turned and started to walk away.
Remy looked after him, the angry emotions from Logan was hitting him like
bricks. Bricks thrown at him hard from the roof of a twenty story high
building. Big bricks too and right on the head. ”Logan, wait.” But he continued
to walk away. ”S’il vous plaît…”
Logan stopped and turned to look at Remy. All of a sudden, the sexy man he had
drooled over a few minutes ago looked scared and lost as a child. ”What?”
”Je suis désolé…f’ punchin’ y’ in de eye.”
”Don’t worry ’bout it. Healing factor, y’know?” Remy smirked, but he still
looked so sad. Well, what could Logan do? He could continue his way back to the
mansion and leave the Cajun alone. Instead, he asked, ”You don’t happen to have
any beer down here do ya?”
Though Remy’s face looked plain annoyed, his red on black eyes didn’t. He would
never want to admit it, but he was happy that Logan didn’t leave him.
He stood up and walked towards the boathouse, ”’Course I’ve got beer, homme.”
As Remy lead the way inside to the kitchen, Logan got a nice view of Remy’s
Speedo-clad ass.