*****

Logan woke from a fitful doze when he heard a soft
sound coming from the bed. He got up quickly and
walked over to where Remy was sleeping, " Hey kiddo,
welcome back."

Remy blinked some of the fog from his brain and looked
up at the man standing over him, " i' wasn' a
dream...y' really here." His voice was soft and the
words slurred a bit.

" Yeah darlin, I'm here. How 're ya feelin'? What ever
that stuff Hank sent over is it's good stuff, it
really knocked ya out."

Remy lie perfectly still, he was warm and comfortably
floating on a pain killer high. " Feel fine. This
stuff make Remy loopy though. Di' we really make
love?"

Logan smiled and sat carefully on the edge of the bed,
" Yeah, that's why y' were hurtin' so bad yesterday.
I'm sorry 'bout that darlin." He ran the back of his
hand over the younger man's soft cheek; even the
stubble from not shaving was soft on the boy!

Remy gave him a dreamy smile and sighed, "I' not. I
love y' and missed y', it be worth any pain t' find y'
here wi' m'. Di' y' ever tell m' wha' I di' t' make y'
go?"

Logan caressed his cheek again, " I did it darlin, you
just can't remember. I was the one that left. You
never saw it comin', I hurt ya bad."

" Don' matter, y' here now." He sighed again and
closed his eyes only to open them again, " I gotta
go."

He started to throw back the covers when Logan stopped
him, " Whoa kiddo! Ya can't walk by yerself remember?
Let me help ya darlin, I guess I better go get those
crutches after all." He carefully lifted his lover and
carried him to the bathroom. " Lean on me, do ya need
any help?"

Remy flashed him a drunken smile, " An'time y' wan'
cher."

Logan chuckled and waited for Remy to get done then
carried him back to the bed, "I like ya like this."
When he was settled again Logan sat back down on the
edge of the bed, " I gotta give ya more of this stuff
in about three hours but Hank said ya should eat first
that's probably why yer so loopy. What do ya want t'
eat?"

Remy raised an eyebrow and smiled a wicked smile, "Y!
All I ev' wan' t' eat again is y'!"

Logan gently pushed him back against the pillows, " I
REALLY like y' like this. Maybe y' should go back to
sleep fer a little while kiddo, yer gonna hurt yerself
like this."

Remy yawned and gave him a sweet, sleepy smile, "'kay,
bu' don' y' go 'way," His eyes drifted shut.

Logan bent and kissed him softly on the lips, "never
again darlin, never again." He sat on the edge of the
bed until he heard deep even breathing from the young
Cajun then he moved to the sitting room and thought
back on his conversation with Hank the night before.

*****

"Good evening, Henry McCoy speaking."

"Hey Blue, it's me."

" Logan, I have been waiting for you to call back! How
is Remy?"

" What is that stuff? He's higher than a kite when
he's awake! It's kinda cute really... he seems a lot
better."

" It's very potent. He still needs to take twice the
normal dose because his metabolism is so fast.He can
only be on it for seventy-two hours and after the next
dose you have to cut the dose in half each time. You
can also give him ONE of his regular pills when you
cut the dose, do you understand? It is a very
addictive medication and he needs to get off the
injections and completely on his pills again as soon
as possible. How many does he have left in the
bottle?"

Logan reached over and opened the bottle, " there 're
six left." There was a long pause, " Hank?"

" There should be at least twenty pills in that
bottle!" Logan heard him mumbling to himself before he
got back on the phone. " You shouldn't try to move him
until he's had at least four doses, that will be
tomorrow afternoon. I want him in this lab the second
you return."

" Is somethin' wrong?" Logan didn't like the tone of
voice he was hearing.

" That's what we need to find out. Good-bye Logan."

There was a click and Logan replaced the phone. He had
a bad feeling building in the pit of his stomach but
he wasn't sure if it was because of Hank's concern or
the fact that now he only had until tomorrow afternoon
to finally finish his confession.

*****

Remy slept most of the day, only waking long enough to
eat a tiny bit and ask again what he did to make Logan
leave. Logan patiently explained that it wasn't his
fault and was forced to apologize again and again. He
figured it was his pay back for allowing this
nightmare to happen in the first place. When he cut
the dose in half Remy wasn't nearly as comfortable,
there was a sharp edge to the pain again and the young
Cajun was quiet and grumpy. By the fourth dose Remy
was lucid again and Logan couldn't avoid finishing the
confession any longer. " Kiddo?" Logan said quietly
from the doorway.

Remy looked over at him and shifted in the bed, trying
without any luck to find a position that would give
him relief from the pain, "Oui Logan?"

Logan entered the room and sat in the chair beside the
bed. " I need to tell ya somethin'." He was staring
down at his lap, not even trying to make eye contact,
and Remy felt a familiar chill pass through him.
" First, I want ya t' know that I love ya." He finally
looked up at Remy, " Y' believe that don't ya? You
know I'm sorry for all the shit I said to ya, all the
shit I put ya through?"

There was a sincerity in his gaze that made Remy relax
a fraction. What was going on? Logan was scared to
say what was on his mind but he really meant it when
he said he was sorry and that he cared for Remy. He
was sending out such confusing signals and emotions
that Remy's head wanted to spin. " Oui, I know cher, I
b'leive y'." Remy winced as he struggled to sit up,
" Why y' so nervous?"

" I did somethin'. I...I did it fer you, fer me!" He
stood, he needed to move, he couldn't look at his
lover's gorgeous face when he finally whispered, " I
took out Rogue."

Remy sat silently trying to figure out what exactly
Logan was saying. " Wha' d' y' mean? Wha' 're y'
tryin' t' say?"

Damn! He was going to have to say the words, " I...I
killed her, I killed Rogue."

Remy just sat there blinking his big, beautiful eyes
at him, "Why?"

" She hurt you every chance she got! She made ME hurt
you! She-"

" Y' di' this f' me," he said in a flat tone.He was
still blinking at the older man.

Logan let out the breath he was holding,oh thank God,
he understands! " Yeah darlin, I did it fer you."

Suddenly Remy's eyes flashed with an unholy light. "
F' me. F' ME?... What, y' don' think I got 'nough
innocent blood on m' hands? Y' needed to add the blood
o' an X-Man too!" How could he DO this? What was he
THINKING? He ruined his life... all because o' me.

Logan sat back in shock, " No! No, it wasn't like
that! She-"

" NON! He pounded the bed with his fists. " Why y'
doin' this t' m'? Why y' have t' torture m' this way?
Wha' d' I do t' make y' hate m' so?"

" I don't hate you! Let me explain-"

" Like y' let M' explain? Y' been tellin' m' over an
over how y' never let m' talk so go 'head! Tell m' how
killin' an X-Man, IN M' NAME, proves y' love!" Dieu,
he killed Rogue an it's m' fault!

Logan opened his mouth to speak when there was a knock
on the door. He threw up his hands in defeat, " We are
not done!" He walked out of the bedroom and threw open
the door..."Blue?"

Hank McCoy stood in the doorway, medical bag in hand.
" Please excuse the intrusion my friend but the more I
thought about our conversation yesterday, the more I
felt the need to see our resident Cajun myself."

Logan took a step back so he could enter the room,
"Now's not a good time Hank, we were in the middle of
something important."

Hank waited for Logan to shut the door before he
continued, " Logan, he shouldn't be in the kind of
pain you described, I think he may have re injured
himself in some way."

Logan sighed, " He's in the bedroom. He's not in a
very good mood though."

They both moved to the bedroom. Remy was sitting on
the bed staring down at his hands. Logan could smell
the salt of the tears he was trying to hide. Damn, he
needed to explain! He knew as soon as he told the kid
about her working for Mags everything would be
okay!Then it hit him again; Remy probably felt the
same way as he yelled at him. The kid took everything
to heart, hearing him scream and watching as he swiped
his lamp across the room was probably traumatic to the
abused young man. How could he have been so STUPID? He
groaned and Hank turned to him with a questioning
look. Logan waved off his concern and looked back at
Remy,
" I'm gonna get outta here, you do...whatever it is ya
need to do."

Hank's concern grew as he looked at the young Cajun.
He was obviously in pain, he was pale and shaking. The
boy needed to be in the lab. Hank reached out and took
his wrist to check his pulse and Remy didn't move,
"Remy?"

" Can I go home wi' y' Henri?" he whispered as he
looked up with pleading eyes.

" Of course. I must confess I am a little confused,
didn't you and Logan talk?" This depression was
unexpected; he thought that the Cajun would be happy
Logan still had feelings for him.

" He talked." Remy's voice was barely above a whisper.
They didn't know about Rogue, they couldn't. Henri
wouldn't be here if he knew Logan killed her. He'd be
at home with the rest of the X-Men joining in on their
taunts and jabs. Now even Henri would ignore him. What
about Stormy? Would she desert him too when she found
out what Logan did because of him? A tear left his eye
as he looked up at the blue doctor, " I wan' go home,
I wan' sleep in m' own bed. I need t' think but m'
head feels like it's gon' explode." He reached up and
grabbed his head to prove the point. " Henri, can y'
help m'?" He wouldn't tell him that his heart was
shattered again; it wasn't like he'd care anyway once
he learned the truth.

Hank patted his shoulder and spoke softly to the
distraught young man, " I will help you my friend. You
will need to stay in the lab a day or two until I get
you stabilized again. I want you to lay down and rest
until I am ready, all right?" He helped Remy lie down
and watched him nod his agreement. This was so unlike
the boy, not a single word about not going to the lab.
Henry returned to the little sitting room, " I need
him in the lab immediately, there is something very
wrong with him. He wants to come home with me and I
think that would be for the best. We will see you when
you get there."

Logan nodded sullenly; Remy couldn't even stand the
sight of him now. " I'll go out for a while... he
won't have ta see me again." He walked out of the room
and Hank was more confused than ever.

Hank watched him leave and shook his head then called
down to the front desk. A few minutes later a
wheelchair arrived at the room and he pushed it
through to the bedroom. " I thought this would be
preferable to being carried."

Remy nodded and threw off the covers. He was
embarrassed when he realized that he only had on the
robe from the day before and a frustrated tear left
him eye. It was getting harder and harder to keep all
his emotions inside. " M' sorry Henri, if y' throw m'
some clothes I'll get dressed. I f'got 'bout th'
robe."

Hank looked around and found some clothes and
proceeded to help Remy get dressed. " You are in no
shape to do this at the moment and you don't have
anything I haven't seen before. Don't fight me, it
isn't worth the pain it will cause." When Hank was
done he stood and helped Remy into the chair, " Logan
can bring all of your belongings, I want you in the
lab." He wanted to ask about the emotional pain he
could feel pouring off the boy but he held his tongue,
this was between Logan and Remy.

*****

Ro sat beside her brother in the med lab rubbing his
fingers as he slept. Hank had run countless tests and
took dozens of x-rays as soon as they arrived home and
Remy was totally exhausted. Hank assured her that he
was basically fine, just run down emotionally and
physically and that the long hours of sleep was just
his body trying to recuperate. Logan had not arrived
home with them and she was as confused about that
situation as Hank, she was sure when she left that the
two men would finally talk and work out whatever
problems they still had. They had no obstacles that
she could see; Remy loved Logan and he loved her
brother in return. She wished Remy would wake or Logan
would come home so she could find out exactly what
happened after she left. She was startled out of her
thoughts by a soft knock on the door and turned to see
Hank motioning her out of the room. " Yes Henry?"

" Ro, I have just been going over the test results and
looking at his x-rays...there's a problem. I need to
speak to him as soon as he wakes."

" What kind of problem? Remy is all right, isn't he?"

" I need to talk to him first then I will speak to the
rest of the team."

" You are frightening me," she said as she looked up
at the doctor.

" That was not my intention. It is not life
threatening, just a problem that needs to be addressed
soon. Jean called down; she said that Logan has
returned. Could I persuade you to go talk to him and
find out what exactly went on down there?"

" Yes, I would like to know that myself." She turned
and looked in to where Remy seemed to be finally
waking up, " Take care of my brother while I am gone."

" I will. Hopefully on your return we will both
understand."

*****

Ro knocked on the frame of the door, she'd been
standing there at least a minute and Logan gave no
hint that he even registered her presence.

" Damn it Ro, don't sneak up on me like that!"

" I thought that was impossible. You must have been
very deep in thought. What is bothering you Logan? Why
is my brother so unhappy?"

Logan turned and looked at her, " Didn't he tell ya? I
told him about Rogue and he freaked out. He can't
stand the sight of me; he wanted to come home with
Hank instead. I blew it Ro, he can't forgive me
killin' the girl."

Ro was even more confused, " Even after you told him
of her betrayal? I know he has always been unnaturally
protective of her even after all the times she hurt
him but I find it hard to believe that he would excuse
her spying for Magneto or setting up that mockery of a
trial in Antarctica?"

" I never got a chance to tell him that. Hank showed
up and the kid took off with him."

" He doesn't know?"

Logan moved to sit on the bed and Ro sat beside him.
" I figured you'd tell him."

" No, he came home and Hank started his tests
immediately. He's been sleeping for the past twelve
hours. I haven't even had a chance to welcome him
home. Oh Bright Lady... it's all a misunderstanding!
Logan, you must tell him!"

" The kid don't even wanna look at me."

" Because he doesn't know of her betrayal! Logan, you
must fix this!"

" Why me, why can't you tell him?"

Thunder clapped outside and winds swirled around the
mansion, " You have caused this problem Logan. I did
not want to let you NEAR my brother after the pain you
caused him but I did because he was miserable without
you! Now all it will take are a few simple words to
make him understand and you refuse?"

" That's just it! I caused that kid enough pain to
last a lifetime! He doesn't want to see me anymore! I
won't force myself on him!"

" Logan-"

" I Can't!" he dropped his head into his hands, " I
can't hear him say he doesn't want me! Ro... it'll
kill me if he leaves me. I didn't know, didn't
understand how bad I hurt him...I feel like the metals
bein' ripped from my bones! To hear him say he's
through with me..."

Logan let the sentence hang and Storm looked on in
stunned silence. Logan was afraid. No enemy alive
could put fear in his heart but her young brother was
different. He held such a place in that proud heart
that if he left the Wolverine wasn't certain he could
survive. She reached out slowly and touched his hand,
"Logan, Remy will understand when he is given all the
facts. It HAS to be you..." she paused, afraid to tell
him the rest of her thought, afraid to believe that it
might be true. "Henry found a problem. I-I fear my
brother does not have the strength to hear more bad
news." A tear left her eye and she quickly wiped it
away, " He ...he may lose his desire to fight anymore.
I know him better than anyone; he is feeling lost and
alone. The depression that started after he saw his
sister will grow and devour him! YOUR LOVE IS HIS ONLY
HOPE." Another tear fell and rain started to pour
outside, " You must save my brother Logan... you must
make him understand."

Logan was looking deeply in her eyes,
*problem*...*only hope*... He stood and walked to the
window again, watching the rain stream down the glass.

He was being a damn coward!

Remy had endured a hellish childhood on the mean
streets of New Orleans. He had endured being used and
abused by the bitch Rogue. He had endured being dumped
by the man he loved and trusted on the happiest day of
their short relationship. He had endured over a month
of excruciating pain after the fall. He had endured
seeing the sister he adored falling apart because she
no longer understood that good-bye wasn't forever. He
was about to find out God knows what from Hank... and
the kid never complained. He never gave up and he
never gave in. He just took a deep breath and dug
deeper inside himself to go on and get past it. Now he
was at the end of his rope. He didn't have anything
left inside him to use to buffer another blow. He was
going to fall again and there was no way he would
survive this time. No one was there to catch him.

No one but Logan.

* Your love for him is his only hope*

Logan looked inside himself and found that love... it
was stronger than ever. Solid and true.

*You must save my brother Logan... you must make
him understand*

Logan's eyes snapped back to Storm's face and she
could see the determination of the Wolverine in those
eyes.
Her heart leaped at the sight, YES! YES! Logan would
save him. Logan would be there to catch him when he
fell and THIS TIME her brother would land unharmed.

THIS TIME he would be spared.

THIS TIME there would be love to cushion the blow.

" Come on, we need to hurry " was all he said as the
Wind-Rider and the Wolverine raced back down to the
lab. They rounded the corner as Hank was pulling the
door shut.

" I'm sorry, Remy is resting and asked not to be
disturbed. I need both of you to follow me , there is
something I need to tell the whole team..."

*****

TBC