TWO MONTHS LATER

"He’s going to need to continue the counseling for a
while longer, this has been building his entire life.
The poor boy never had anyone he could trust to talk
to. He understands about Rogue now and he‘s very
embarrassed about the way he acted. I told him over
and over that it wasn‘t him, it was the depression but
he refuses to listen. I think it‘s the only way to get
through to him."

Logan was practically vibrating. He’d tried begging,
he’d tried bribing, he’d even tried sneaking in to see
Remy when he arrived home the day before but so far
only Jean, Hank, and Charles had been permitted entry.
Now Jean was talking to the two men trying to get his
name on that list. Logan felt about to burst, he
thought back to a month ago when everything went so
horribly wrong. Once Hank got the kid breathing again
he’d rushed him to the main lab and pumped him full of
fluids to force the drug from his system. It had been
a harrowing twenty-four hours, Remy had tried to leave
twice more but Hank finally appeared after a day and a
half to say that he was out of immediate danger. As
soon as he was stable he was flown to Muir Island
where he could receive the specialized surgery he
would require and the counseling he had needed all his
life. Jean joined him there two weeks ago to make his
return to the mansion easier. Logan stood silently
watching the meeting, he’d climb the damn wall and
crawl in the window if the said no.

" I don’t know…"

Henry looked doubtfully at Logan and he couldn’t hold
his tongue any longer, " Blue, I gotta see him!"

" Hank, he wants to see Logan, he’s just afraid that
Logan doesn’t want to see him. It’s a palpable need
really. Please, it would do him a world of good to see
with his own eyes that Logan feels the same way." Hank
was still unsure and Jean rolled her eyes," Hank, I’ve
been with him for the last two weeks, after the
surgery he had counselors with him for hours everyday.
He talked a lot, got a lot of the old pain out, he
listened to them, really listened..." She smiled and
looked at the men in the room, " He had to, he was
flat on his back in traction the whole time." She took
Logan’s hand, " Logan called a dozen times a day!
Everyday! He asked if he ate, he asked if he slept. He
sent books and CD’s and notes that Remy never let
anyone touch. They NEED to be together!"

Charles had been quiet until now but as he watched the
fidgeting Logan he smiled and added, " I agree with
Jean Henry. Remy is much stronger now than when he
left. He hasn’t dealt with his feelings about not
being on the team but he is very clear about his
feelings for Logan, they haven’t changed a bit."

Hank looked from Charles to Jean to the fidgeting
Logan and admitted defeat, " All right. As long as
you’re sure Remy is emotionally strong enough to
handle such a reunion. He’s been on the
anti-depressants long enough…" He turned to Logan and
captured his eyes, " Keep the conversation light."

" Anything ya want Blue, can I PLEASE go now?"
Hank took one more look at Jean and Charles, they both
nodded with satisfied smiles. " Go on."

Logan grinned and practically sprinted up to the young
Cajun’s room. He stopped suddenly when he was halfway
down the hall. His palms were sweaty and his mouth was
dry. His heart was pounding like a jackhammer. He
closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the
excitement…it felt so damn good to be in love! He
took a deep breath and continued down the hall to the
last door on the left and knocked.

" Oui?"

Logan stood frozen for a second before he found the
courage to enter and look at his young lover for the
first time in months. " Hey kiddo, y’ look good."

Remy turned suddenly at the sound of his voice,
" L-Logan, what y’ doin up here?" He was clutching an
old shoebox to his chest.

It wasn’t the response he’d hoped for but he smiled
and took a step further into the room so he could
close the door. " I came t’ see ya! I tried everything
t’ get in here. Tried, beggin’, tried bribing, I even
tried sneakin. They’re guarding you better than Fort
Knox!" He hoped the playful small talk would help
settle the nervous Cajun down. " So, how y’ feelin?
How’s the leg?"

Remy looked down at his newly mended leg and shrugged,
" ’kay I guess. Hurts like Hell and I feel as weak as
Cyke’s coffee but they said that would pass with time.
That Shi‘ar stuff is scary but it works fast, guess
I‘m lucky they still had some." He turned slowly from
the dresser after he made sure his box was safely put
away and limped to the chair beside the bed and sat
down, he felt so clumsy; the grace he was used to was
no where to be found. He looked down at the floor as
he rubbed his leg, " I feel so stupid… did they pat y’
down an’ take y’ shoestrings before they let y’ come
up?"

His voice was so quiet; Logan felt a sharp pain in his
chest. " Aw kid, y’ ain’t crazy. Y’ never were. Y’
just got buried under too much stuff." He carefully
sat on the bed across from his lover and tried to
catch his eyes.

" If I’d let y’ tell m’ about Rogue-"

Logan reached out and tipped up his chin, "y’ thought
y’ were protectin’ me. That’s about the nicest thing I
can remember anybody doin’ for me…ever."

Remy blushed a little and let a tiny smile slip, " I
loved y’… had t’ protect y’."

" Loved?" He caught those amazing eyes again and held
their gaze, " don’t ya still love me?"

Remy blinked at him and took a deep breath, " Oui,
still do," he whispered.

Logan felt his heart soar. He knew how hard it was for
the boy to admit that! He was so proud of him for
being so strong. The Remy that left here would have
been too frightened of rejection to do it. " Oh
darlin, I love ya too. Can I PLEASE kiss ya now? I
been waitin so long…"

Remy looked like a huge weight had been lifted, his
smile lit up the room, " Oh oui mon amour," he sighed.

Their lips touched in a kiss that was as soft as a
breeze. It lasted just a few seconds and they both sat
back. Logan’s hands were shaking a little when he
raised them up to take the younger man’s face in them,
" Let me look at you," He whispered. Blue eyes met
amazing red and an invisible door opened. They fell
together in a bruising kiss. Hands reached out and
held on trying to convince the mind that it is true!
It is true! He’s here and he’s well and he’s back and
he’s mine! Mine!

Remy couldn’t help the quiet sob that left his lips.
He was back and he was in Logan’s arms and nobody
hated him and they really WEREN’T sorry that he didn’t
die! He felt himself flying just like before but
better somehow, higher. The weight of a lifetime of
mistakes and bad decisions was lifted and all that
mattered was here and now! The past was behind him and
a world of opportunities lie ahead. A voice he never
seemed to be able to escape whispered in his ear that
he was useless here now, that things would be the same
as before soon, that he should get out before he was
thrown out. He tightened his grip on the man in his
arms and felt the tighter grip returned. There! See!
He Loves Me…he loves me… but the voice would not be
silenced that easy. He pulled away and slowly stood.
He hated to be this weak. He moved on the crutches he
would need, possibly forever, to the window. Summer
had passed without him even noticing. The trees and
grass looked dead, " I remembered something while I
was away."

Logan looked up at him and smiled, "What?"

He turned from the window and raised his arms toward
his lover letting the crutches fall to the floor,
" Dance with me." Logan watched for a stunned
heartbeat before rushing to catch him as he started to
fall. He helped his lover sit in the chair, " wanted
t’ dance," he whispered.

" Oh darlin, I promise we’ll dance." Logan brushed
hair back away from his face and tried to pretend he
didn’t see the tears lurking there. " We’re gonna be
just fine now, you’ll see. We’re gonna get you strong
again and someday-"

Remy shook his head, " Non," he pulled Logan’s hand to
his lips, " I was forced t’ lay there and listen t’
shrinks an’ th’ doctors… I ain’ nev’ gon’ be better…
‘M always gon’ need these…" He looked at the discarded
crutches on the floor and a stubborn tear fell, "’M
broken Cher I can’ be fixed. Y’ deserve better, y’
deserve so much more…" Another tear fell. It was
killing him to say those words but it was true! He
couldn’t BE the man Logan fell in love with.

Logan got on his knees in front of the chair, " Ya
listen t’ me bub, I been alone all my life. I will NOT
lose you now! Yer stronger than this! You’ll get past
it! I don’t give a damn about that!" he waved toward
the crutches on the other side of the room. " Yer
sister needs ya…I need ya! We can do this! We can be
happy! Don’t throw it away because yer scared! Remy… I
don’t want t’ be alone any more."

Remy turned startled eyes to the older man, Logan’s
words meant the world to him. No one had ever told him
they would fight for him and not allow him to give up.
He knew in his heart that Logan was right, that he was
just giving up out of fear. Alisa could have given
up…she was so frightened after Sabretooth attacked
her, but she never gave up. She always tried to smile
and keep her mind from sinking into that dark
depression he was so used to swimming in. She would
not want him to give up and now Logan was not willing
to let him give up either. It brought more tears to
the young Cajun’s eyes to know he was loved so much
and that those people would never give up on him,
EVER. So why should he? He wiped the stray tears from
his cheek and met Logan’s eyes. " Y’ll help me?"

Logan sat back on his heels and caressed the younger
man’s cheek, " Every step of the way darlin… every
step of the way."

Remy leaned forward and let his forehead rest against
Logan’s broad shoulder. " Merci f’ believing in me…
nobody ever done that before… ‘cept poppa ‘n ‘lisa. It
feels strange."

" Logan tipped his chin up, " Well get used t’ it. Yer
stuck with me kiddo." He pulled the boy into a gentle
hug and pretended not to feel the tears that were
soaking through his shirt. He rubbed the long graceful
back and whispered little nothings into his ear. Remy
had been hurt so many times, betrayed so many times,
kicked in the gut so many times and now all that pain
and humiliation and anger needed to be released,
refused to be held in any longer. He felt his own
tears as he knelt there holding the sobbing boy. It
was good though, it was a release Remy never allowed
himself before. The sobs turned to hiccups then turned
to deep even breaths. Logan waited until his grip
loosened and lifted the sleeping boy in his arms and
carefully laid him on the bed. He covered him with a
soft old comforter and sat on the edge of the bed
watching him sleep. " I love ya kiddo," he whispered
and brushed back his hair as shadows descended on the
room.

*****

Jean crossed the room to where her husband sat behind
his desk. He was hiding in his office and she decided
that he'd been hiding long enough. She walked behind
his chair and wrapped her arms around his neck for a
gentle hug. " You can't hide in here forever."

" I bet if I tried I could," He deadpanned back. " I
don't know how to talk to him. That could have been me
years ago. If the Professor hadn't found me..."

" But he did. You're fine Scott, and you need to talk
to Remy and let him know he's fine too. I never told
you this before because I felt it wasn't my place but
Remy really respects you. He sees you as a big
brother."

"Really?"

Jean smiled and moved to sit on the corner of the
desk. "Yes. I'm telling you Scott, the Remy we think
we know is an illusion. In the last two weeks I've
gotten to see the REAL Remy. Your acceptance and
support would mean the world to him. He doesn't feel
like he belongs ...anywhere! He needs to know that he
still has a home here and that when he needs it, he's
got the support of the people IN this home. Not just
Logan but ALL of us." She looked out the window to the
right of the desk and a tiny shiver passed through
her.

Scott felt a wave of unease wash down the
link,"Jean?"

"He couldn't move because of the traction, he was
forced to lie there in that bed and the words just
started pouring out of him... I know you think you had
it bad as a child but...I can't pretend to imagine
some of the things he had to survive Scott. Please
talk to him soon? Please let him know he can depend on
us?"

" I will, after dinner tonight, okay?"

She leaned forward and kissed her husband sweetly,
" Thank you Scott. Have I told you lately how proud I
am of you?" Scott gave her a questioning look and she
rolled her eyes and smiled, " You used to look at Remy
and see an uneducated, deceitful, GAY, loser. You
finally looked deeper, we ALL finally looked deeper. I
have to go start dinner, I'll see you later."

*****

Remy felt something warm caressing the side of his
face and with a sigh and a smile leaned into the
touch. Sleepy eyes blinked open and followed the hand,
up the arm to the face of his favorite dream. Wait…
was it a dream? " Logan?"

" I’m still here darlin. It’s time t’ wake up,
Jeannie’s got a whole big welcome home dinner planned
for ya." Remy groaned and Logan chuckled, Remy took
cooking seriously; to him it was an art. Hand picking
the ingredients, getting the right spices in exactly
the right amount, it took time and patience. Jean’s
idea of cooking was to open a box and add water. " I
know it sounds bad but she’s been down there all day.
Come on… they’re trying to show ya they missed ya."

"By tryin’ t’ poison me?" He rolled to his back slowly
and smiled up at Logan, "We really okay now? Really?"

Logan continued to brush his fingers over Remy’s face
and back into his hair. It was finally getting long
again. " We were always okay, just had some
misunderstandings to work past. We couldn’t be
anything BUT okay, isn’t that how destiny works? Ya
search yer whole life until destiny moves you to your
soul mate?"

Remy closed his eyes and concentrated on Logan’s
touch. His fingers were warm and rough from years of
hard work and a harder life. It was an anchor. It
would always keep him grounded if he ever felt out of
control again. He would just close his eyes and
remember this perfect moment. Logan’s words hit him
suddenly, "soul mate?"

" Yeah. Kid, I been around longer than I can remember
and I’ve fucked a lotta people, men and women, but
you…you…how do I say this? There’s this place inside
of me, a little corner of the REAL me. Me before
Weapon X and all of the rest of the shit. It’s always
felt like there was some THING, some PART of me
missing. Nothing ever filled it and you can bet your
ass I’ve tried. You told me that you remembered our
first kiss," he looked at Remy and got a small nod.
"When our lips touched that first time, something warm
and soft and quiet settled into that spot. It’s like I
got this…flame… inside me now. I figure I finally
found the missing piece of my soul, my other half.
Every culture has a word fer it but I think soul mate
describes it best. I never feel alone anymore. You
feed the flame darlin; you keep it alive and me with
it. I’m sorry, I’m goin’ on like a crazy old lady."

" Non, I know ’xactly what y’ mean." Remy sat up and
placed Logan’s hand over his heart, " I felt it too.
First time since the ice I was warm." he lifted the
hand and kissed the palm. " I jus’ gotta ask y’ one
more time…" he looked across the room at the hated
crutches, "That’s me now. No more grace, no more
style, no more flair…jus’ Remy. Y’ sure it’s gonna be
‘nough, ‘cause I can’ watch y’ walk away again. I-"

Logan kissed him then, hard and hot and urgent. He
left the younger man no room to doubt that he was sure
it would be enough, that HE would be enough.