Jean held Ro in her arms and looked up at the enraged
doctor. " Rogue's gone missing, Bobby's taking a quick
look around in case she's hurt too." In her arms Ro
began crying again. Her beloved brother was near death
and they were wasting time looking for ROGUE! Jean
kissed her hair and whispered soft words of comfort to
her injured friend.

"Forget her!" came Hank's sharp reply. " She can find
her own way home. I'm losing precious time that I
can't afford to waste!" He walked back into his tiny
space and hit the intercom, " Scott, we need to be
home NOW! Forget Rogue, get us out of here!"

"Understood."

The jets engines fired as Bobby slid up the ramp.
" There's not a trace " he said to Jean with a shrug.
He wasn't strapped in before the jet streaked through
the sky back to Salem Center.

*****

Logan hadn't said a word after Hank arrived at the
scene of Remy's fall. His mind was too full of "What
If's" to be worried about conversation. This was
almost beyond his ability to grasp. Remy was gravely
injured, he knew that the moment he saw him in the
alley. Ro was despondent. He couldn't remember a time
when he'd ever seen her lose it like this. Hank
wouldn't let ANYONE near the kid. Whether he feared
germs or reaction he wasn't sure. They were still
eighteen minutes out; they'd wasted precious time
looking for Rogue. Logan felt hatred grow in the pit
of his stomach for the girl. She manipulated him just
like Magneto...a thought popped into his head but it
was too insane, Rogue and Mags? Nah.

He glanced back toward the med bay. His lover was in
there! He needed to at least SEE him. He un-strapped
and stood to go back when Ro's head snapped up.

" NO! You have NO RIGHT to be anywhere NEAR my
brother! Sit down Wolverine or I will sit you down
myself!" Jean tugged her arm so she would take her
seat but she stood her ground there in the middle of
the isle daring the man to challenge her. He was a
threat to her brother and she would die keeping him
away.

Logan blinked at her from where he stood, her eyes
were starting to go white. She was shaking in her
rage. He knew that if he pushed her she would most
likely take down the whole jet. He put his hands up in
defeat and sat back down. She stayed there a minute
longer to be sure he wouldn't try again before she
fell back into the seat beside Jean and started crying
all over again.

*****

Eleven hours and forty-seven minutes.

It had taken too long. Hank looked down at his patient
and took a deep breath. Remy had somehow survived all
the necessary tests and surgeries that he should need.
Hank wished, not for the first time, that they still
possessed the Shi'ar technology that they used to
have. Lilandra was in the process of replacing it but
it wouldn't help the young Cajun six months from now!
He finished wrapping the bandage around the young
man's head and checked that he hadn't disturbed the
drain. It was precautionary but important non the
less. He then moved to check the full length cast on
the boy's left leg and that his left arm was securely
in the sling at the proper angle.

Thanks to Jean, Remy had struck the ground feet first
and tilted to the left. His left ankle was shattered;
the left knee and hip badly broken. He also broke the
L-2 and L-5 vertebra and he was suffering from spinal
shock. Hank prayed that when the swelling went down he
would regain feeling from the waist down. There was no
cord damage so there was hope. There was extensive
bruising and bleeding internally. He fractured his
skull, dislocated his shoulder and several broken ribs
had punctured his lung. With one more check of oxygen
and IV's he made final notes on the chart he held and
walked to the door. This was always the hardest part,
facing the rest of the team.

He peeked through the small window and was a little
surprised to see they ALL were there. Well, all but
Rogue. She never returned from the mission and Hank
had a bad feeling about it. Either she was hurt or she
had defected to Magneto. They'd had a bit of an affair
before; he could produce a shield that protected him
from her absorption power. Hank found himself hoping
it was the first; Rogue as an adversary was a chilling
thought.

*****

After what felt like years Hank finally pushed through
the large double doors. He raised a hand to silence
the team. " Please hold your questions." He sounded
exhausted or defeated and the X-men fell silent to
hear what he had to say about their teammate. " He is
alive. I am not going to go into detail with his
injuries. I performed all the necessary surgeries and
he is stable at the moment. As you can well guess, the
injuries are severe and I will not be able to give you
a long term prognosis until he wakes up. IF that
happens within the next forty-eight hours I believe he
has a good chance to survive. I must return now.
Warren, Bobby, I will contact you later to see me.
Please don't delay, I won't have much time in the next
few days to see you. Ororo, rest. Jean could you see
to her needs?"

Jean nodded and Henry sighed deeply. " There will be
no visitation allowed until further notice unless his
condition worsens. If such should become the case I
will allow anyone who would like to say a final
goodbye the opportunity to do so." He turned and
walked back toward the door as the rest of the team
separated and moved off into the mansion. He heard a
soft sound and turned, he was shocked to see Logan
sitting with his head in his hands sobbing silently.
He turned his full attention to the older man
concerned; in his rush to help Remy he had forgotten
that Logan was on that rooftop too. Maybe he was
suffering from some lingering affects of Magneto's
power?

"Logan, are you in pain?" The older man didn't move
and his concern grew. "Logan?"

"I couldn't get to him," he whispered as he looked up
at the doctor. " I knew he was gonna fall...so did
he...I gotta see him Hank."

Hank looked from the uncharacteristically distraught
man to the lab door. He had to stay with Remy. " All
right." He reluctantly allowed the Canadian in and
after supervising him scrubbing up, he let him follow
him to the ICU.

The body on the bed was that of a stranger. His scent
wasn't even right, it was like the kid was only half
there. Logan hung back at the door, almost afraid to
move closer. " He's gonna hate the haircut," he
whispered.

Hank's lips curved just a bit. " Yes, I expect that
and the fact that he will be spending an obscenely
long time in the lab will be his first complaints."

Logan took a step closer " Ro ain't gonna be happy I'm
here." He stepped up to the bed and ran a finger down
the young man's bruised and swollen cheek. " I'm not
hurtin' him am I?" He quickly pulled his finger back
and looked at the doctor.

"No," he said sadly, " He's in a place beyond feeling
right now. It's probably a blessing though."

Logan nodded and continued the gentle touch. The chair
that Hank sat in creaked and he looked up at the
doctor again. " Why was Ro so upset? Why are you? I
won't have the two of you battling around my patient."

Logan looked down at Remy again and made a decision,
" We were lover's for a while." he had to smile at
Hank's shocked expression. " We didn't want anyone to
know."

" Well... I certainly didn't" he said, sounding a bit
hurt. " What happened?"

Logan felt his rage building again, "In a word, Rogue.
I believed her lies and took it out on the kid. That's
why I left last week."

Hank just nodded. " So Ro is protecting him. Does she
have reason to?"

" God no Hank, I was gonna beg him to forgive me for
bein' so damn stupid when we got home."

Hank was quiet for a minute. He just sat and watched
the older man gently touching Remy's battered face. "
I think you better leave now. He's in extremely grave
condition. I'll think about what you told me."

Logan reluctantly pulled his hand away and turned
toward the door, " I love him Blue. I never told
anyone that before."

Hank's chair creaked again as he settled in for a long
night.

*****

Logan wandered out the front door onto the large front
porch. Cyclops was already there staring out into the
night. He loved night's like this, they were perfect
for getting lost in your thoughts. He looked over at
Logan, "How's Gambit?"

Logan looked at the man sitting on the steps out of
the corner of his eye, " Still breathin'."

Scott was amazed by the amount of relief those two
words held. " Logan...this is probably the wrong time
but...I've been thinking about you and Gambit-"

" Don't" Logan stopped him. I don't give a damn about
whatever earth shattering conclusion you came to. I
don't give a damn about you at all." He puffed his
cigar and walked to the other side of the steps. " You
know what the last thing I said to him before I
slammed the door in his face was? I accused him of
using me. I slammed his lamp against the wall and said
I wouldn't be his fuck buddy no more. Kid was scared
shit-less." He looked down at the younger man sitting
beside him.
" So ya see, I don't give a shit WHAT you think about
me and Gambit. Up on that rooftop before he fell I
stared into his eyes. He was gonna take on Magneto,
FOR ME! All by himself. Hell, he'd a taken on the
Devil himself, FOR ME. After all the shit I said to
him..." He took one last puff on his cigar and stomped
on the butt, " Go find yer wife Cyke. Hold her close
and kiss her like there's no tomorrow cause ya know
what? Sometimes there isn't." He walked slowly back
into the house leaving Scott alone and thinking. After
a few minutes he got up and brushed off his jeans. He
turned and entered the house.

He had something he needed to tell his wife.

*****

Scott found Jean in their old room in the mansion. She
had her back to the door and it looked like she was
packing her suitcase again. He thought about Logan's
plea for him to find Jean before it was too late. God
how those words hit home. He missed her so much it
hurt. He thought about Logan, the man on the porch
wasn't the man he thought he knew. The pain in his
voice and on his face took the team leader by
surprise.

" Jean?"

She spun around one hand on her heart, " God, you
scared me!"

He looked at her confused, "how?"

She sat down on the edge of the bed and he slowly
entered the room and sat down beside her.

" I'm shielding." She sounded ashamed. " I can't bear
to feel them..." she made a general motion with her
hand. " I could feel Remy..." her voice broke and a
tear left her eye. " He's totally open... but at the
same time he feels like a...ghost. I think...I think I
can feel him...dying."

Scott couldn't stop himself from pulling her close and
she allowed it. He kissed her hair and brushed it back
behind her ear. " I just talked to Logan," he said
quietly and she looked up at him. " Somehow he got
Hank to let him in to see Remy."

Her face was so full of guilt. She should have been
able to stop him! She stopped Warren and Ro! This was
all her fault!

" Stop it, it wasn't anyones fault." he wasn't sure he
was suppose to receive those thoughts.

" Does Logan hate me?" Her voice was tiny like a
child's.

" No. He's so relieved that Remy's alive..." He looked
down at her tear stained face and took a chance, " Do
you want to go out? Get something to eat maybe? I miss
you so much it hurts."

She didn't say a word just fell into his arms crying.
Scott held her close, they had a lot to work out and
it wouldn't be easy but maybe...

*****

The next morning and every morning after, Ro came down
to sit with her brother and Hank didn't have the heart
to say no. Remy seemed trapped in a grey place between
darkness and light, between life and death.The young
Cajun finally clawed his way back from that place
after an incredibly long week only to be faced with
the realization that he was paralyzed from the waist
down. Spinal shock Henri had called it. That was
possibly the worst thing that could happen to the
young man who, from his earliest memory to the day
Jean-Luc picked him up off the street, had survived
totally on his own.

He gradually began to feel a pins and needles
sensation in his legs and spine and new hope
blossomed.

Charles waited until this point to see his young
student face to face, afraid that his wheelchair would
send the boy over the edge into a dark depression. The
visit was just what Remy needed to make the decision
to fight back even harder.

The sensation of pins and needles started to swiftly
grow into a pain that was constant,sharp and
unrelenting. The shock to his spine was wearing off
and the full extent of his injury became horribly
real. Once again the young man stood on a precipice,
wavering between giving up and going forward. He was
now in constant burning agony and nothing seemed to
help. Ro left the room in tears every day from
watching it. Hank was at a loss about what to do so
the young man who never complained before, cried.

Hank was still fearful about the boy's recovery. His
injuries were severe and the constant pain was enough
to break the fragile string that held him to life. If
he were to lose hope now the pain and the loss of will
to live could easily kill him. If his shattered spirit
didn't mend, even the intensive care he was receiving
wouldn't be enough to save him.

Remy refused to see anyone but Hank and Ro. They were
the only two people who never judged him. Everyday of
the three weeks he'd been down there Hank told him the
rest of the team was anxious to see him but he never
gave in. He was well aware of the fragility of his
condition. One look, one wrong word from one of the
others would be enough to send him spiraling down into
a depression he knew he didn't have the strength to
escape.

Remy's hated empathy told him that there was someone
else who stayed close; someone who never to his
knowledge asked to see him but was never far away. He
stayed in the shadows but his strength radiated into
the crowded little intensive care room that Remy now
called home. He found himself clinging to that
strength on the days that the pain was too much to
bear. It was something solid and it never wavered,
never deserted him. He silently prayed everyday that
the one who possessed the strength would come to him
but each seemingly endless day passed with no sign of
the man.

After two weeks the pain finally became tolerable and
Remy realized, now that he cared about such things,
that his memory was shot to Hell. There was a large
chunk missing. Hank explained that with his head
injury it could have been much worse but Remy failed
to see how ANYTHING could have been worse than the
last few weeks.

*****

Ro entered and smiled at her brother. He was finally
starting to look better. " Good morning Remy. How are
you feeling?"

"I'm fine chere, could I get outta here now?"

Every morning that week she asked that question, every
morning the answer was the same and it made her heart
soar. He was beginning to complain, a sure sign that
he was getting better.

" Henry told you the end of the week. Goddess! Four
weeks ago you were at deaths door and Henry and I had
to pull you back on several occasions. Slow down!"

" I can'. 'S not bad 'nough Henri shaved m' head, now
he's holdin' m' prisoner!"

" Remy, you have hardly been a prisoner. The first
week you were barely conscious, the next paralyzed,
and the two that followed you were in too much pain to
move! You couldn't even rise from that bed unaided
until just yesterday. Three more day's won't kill
you."

"I guess, he sighed and tried to find a more
comfortable position. " Chere?" he asked quietly after
a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"Yes Remy?" She brushed across the soft fuzz that now
covered his head. It was only a few inches long but it
didn't look that bad. Bald was NOT a good look for her
brother, especially with stitches, bruising, and
swelling.

" Has Logan..." he started then sighed and finished,
"never mind."

She hated seeing such a sad look in his eyes. She also
hated having to keep reminding him about the truth.
"Remy, he left you a week before the accident. He
believed Rogue's lies and hurt you deeply. I am not
sure I want him anywhere NEAR you."

Remy looked up at her from the bed. " I don' REMEMBER
that..." She could hear how frustrated he felt. " I
REMEMBER how much I..." He looked at her shyly. He
couldn't remember how anyone felt about him being with
another man. Were they okay? Prejudiced? Didn't care
'cause it was just the slut LeBeau? " I remember that
I LOVED him. Loved his touch, I felt SAFE with him."

She smiled at him," Remy I do not care that you loved
another man," she said quietly. " You never told
anyone though. You both wanted to keep it private. As
far as I know only Jean, Scott because of their link,
and I knew."

Remy nodded and looked lost in thought a moment. " I
can...FEEL him...out there" he waved toward the door.
" He's been there every day. He don' FEEL mad at me."

She wasn't sure what to say to him. It was true, Logan
was outside the med lab every day for hours at a time.
"He wants to apologize but I think you should wait!
You are literally just getting to your feet. I could
not bear to see you hurt like that again. Please
brother, for me?"

He sighed, "can I as least SEE him? I really need this
Ro."

She looked into his eyes and saw that this was very
important to him. " I will get him but ONLY if I can
stay in the room too."

Remy actually smiled for the first time since, well
what felt like forever. "Merci Stormy."

She chuckled at the return of the nickname she
secretly loved.She leaned over and brushed a kiss
across his cheek. " Why don't you move over to the
chair? You need to get up for a while anyway and it
will give you a good excuse to ask him to leave if you
begin to feel too overwhelmed."

He slowly threw back the covers and prepared himself
for the arduous task of standing on crutches and
moving the four feet to the chair. " Could y' give me
'bout ten minutes?" he looked up at his best friend
and asked, "Do I look okay?"

She didn't want to hold back the smile she felt when
she answered honestly, " You look wonderful. I will
return in a bit."

He waited for her to leave and took a deep breath. He
hated her to witness these attempts. He carefully
pushed himself to his good leg. It would be weeks
before he could even put weight on the other one.The
pain in his back and across his hips intensified to
the point of bringing tears to his eyes. As soon as it
dulled enough for him to move he made his way to the
chair and was about to ease himself down when Hank
rushed into the room.

" Ro told me to hurry" he scolded the boy. " Remy
please wait for assistance. I would hate to see you
fall and have to stay here longer." He smiled to take
the sting from the words.

"Sorry Henri, Stormy just went t' get Logan."

The excitement in his eyes was impossible to ignore
and Hank smiled again. " Ah wonderful! So, you finally
feel up to having visitors?"

" Only Logan. Ro's been keepin' him 'way. I-" he
suddenly remembered what Ro said about them not
telling anyone.

" It's all right, Logan was actually your first
visitor after all the surgeries the day of the
accident. He told me."

His smile was kind and Remy sighed, " I don' remember
what happened to us.I don' know what I did t' make him
leave."

Hank wanted to correct him but he seemed to be feeling
a bit overwhelmed already. It was best that he stayed
out of it and let them work it out. " Don't worry
kiddo, you'll figure it out."

*****

Logan stood when Ro walked out of the lab. "How's he
doin' today?"

She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye.
"Remy wants to see you." Logan was half way past her
when she reached out and grabbed his arm with
surprising strength. " I will be there too. If you do
anything or say anything to hurt or upset him I WILL
make you sorry."

" I ain't gonna hurt him Ro. I've apologized every
damn day! If you had let me in there before I'd have
already said it to the kid too! I can only stay a
minute anyway, chuck got a line on Rogue."

Storm instantly paid attention, " Really? After all
this time? Goddess, please don't tell Remy he won't be
able to handle this."

" Okay, I wasn't gonna waste my time with the kid
talkin' 'bout her anyway. Can I PLEASE go in there
now?"

" Yes, let's go. Don't tire him and don't start any
lengthy discussions and try not to mention anything
that happened within the two weeks before the
accident, he can't remember anything in those two
weeks and-"

" Ro! I get it! It'll be time for me to leave before I
even get in there."

She just looked at him a moment, Logan, please, don't
hurt him."

" Never again Ro, I swear."

*****

Storm led Logan into the med lab but stopped when she
noticed he wasn't following. " Logan?"

He was frozen in the doorway fidgeting with his ever
present cowboy hat, " I haven't seen him in a month,
last time was right after...Do I look okay?"

She couldn't help but laugh, "Remy asked the same
thing. Come on, he's waiting. She continued to Remy's
room and he hurried to catch up. " Since you can only
stay a short time I will TRUST you not to upset him. I
will be waiting in Henry's office." It was obvious she
was reluctant to leave. "Logan..."

" I'll be good. He waited for her to leave before he
walked to the doorway and cleared his throat.

Henry was standing in his way blocking his view of the
young Cajun. He turned and smiled, " Good morning
Logan." He turned back to Remy a moment, " Are you all
right?"

Remy looked up at his blue furry friend. He knew the
question had two levels. Are you all right, meaning
are you comfortable in the chair, and Are you all
right meaning do you need me to stay? "I be fine for a
bit, merci Henri."

Logan still couldn't see him but he still sounded weak
a month after the accident. Hank finally stepped out
of the room but not before he grabbed Logan's arm and
squeezed in a silent warning, hurt him and deal with
me. Logan nodded in silent understanding.

" Mornin' Logan." Remy finally said and Logan got his
first good look at the boy.

His first thought was that he was a long way from
better. " Hey kid." He didn't know what else to say.
He had a speech all prepared for when he finally saw
the young Cajun but he was expecting to be facing
Gambit. This kid was no where close!

" 'S been a long time, non?"

" Yeah, Ro,s been playin' watch dog."

"Oui. M' Stormy's a lil' overprotective."

Logan understood the reason for that now. A month
after the fall and Remy STILL looked like he could be
gone without too much effort. " She loves ya kid." He
thought about saying so do I but held his tongue.

" Oui." Remy smiled and it absolutely lit up his still
too pale face.

" You look good."

" Non, I don', but merci. How are y'? I'm kinda outta
the loop down here" He waved towards the door. " I'm
gettin' out in three days though."

He was obviously very excited but Logan guessed that
if you were as hurt as bad as he was any little
victory was HUGE. " That's great kid." He felt the
professor nudge him mentally and knew he had to go. "
Listen kid, I got some stuff to do. Do you need
anything? Help gettin back ta bed or something?"

Remy felt himself deflate. Logan couldn't WAIT to get
away from him." Can' you stay a lil' longer?"

" Sorry kid, stuff ta do. I'll come see ya again when
ya get outta here. We can talk then okay?" 'Cause by
then I'll have the traitorous little bitch chopped up
into tiny bite size pieces that even YOU can handle he
thought to himself.

" Sure. Thanks f' comin'." He suddenly couldn't wait
for the man to leave. All he felt from the man was
guilt and pity. Not the love he remembered, not the
love he EXPECTED.

" Well, bye kid."

" Bye."

*****

Ten minutes after Logan left Hank and Ro found Remy
still sitting in the chair with lazy tears rolling
down his face. " Remy?" Hank asked concerned.

" Could y' help me Henri. I been tryin' but I can' get
up from the chair."

Another tear appeared and Hank turned to see the same
concern in Storm's eyes. " Of course. Why don't I just
lift you to your bed." He knew it was wrong. He knew
Remy had to learn to do these things for himself but
he looked like he needed a little TLC right now. Once
he had Remy settled in the bed he gave him a shot with
a mild sedative and pain killer. " Rest a while.
Things will seem better after you sleep."

" Merci Henri" he whispered as the doctor lowered the
head of the bed and dimmed the lights.

Storm waited for Henry to leave and sat carefully sat
on the edge of the bed. " Remy?"

" You were right..." he whispered as another tear
fell.
" He don' love me no more."

TBC