Dealing With

Logan feels the scream ripped from his chest as he wakes with a
start. Jesus Christ, when was this shit going to stop? It was
starting to piss him off. The constant dreams were beginning to
wear on him. He found himself wanting to go permanently insane just
so he could stop caring. It is late or early if you like. Either
way Logan knows he needs to get the hell away from civilization
before he decides to impale something. He lets his mind wonder down
that path for a bit, One-Eye skewered on his claws is lookin' mighty
tempting. He smiles at the thought and is startled when he sees his
reflection grinning back at him. Fuck, he looked like one sadistic
mother fucker.

Freezin', rests his head on a pillow made of concrete, again
Oh, Feelin' maybe he'll see a little better, set a days, ooh yeah
Oh, hand out, faces that he sees time again ain't that familiar, oh
yeah
Oh, dark grin, he can't help, when he's happy looks insane, oh yeah

Logan shakes his head and grabs his coat as he goes out the door.
He probably wont need it but who gives a damn. As he walks down the
hall past Scott's room he catches the scent of sex. He stops in his
tracks and growls deep in his throat. He is torn between busting
down the door and gutting Scott where he stood, or lay, or knelt; or
just going on his merry way.

Even flow, thoughts arrive like butterflies
Oh, he don't know, so he chases them away
Someday yet, he'll begin his life again
Life again, life again...

He swallows down the hate caught in his throat and continues down
the hall. His thing with Scott has been over for quite a while now
but the memory still hurts like hell. Just the thought of Scott
made his stomach lurch. How the hell could he go whorin' himself
out like that? That realization was one of the things that hurt the
most. Logan had spent several days after their breakup alternating
between puking his guts out and crying his eyes out. Praying to
every Deity he could think of to take the pain away.

Kneelin', looking through the paper though he doesn't know to read,
ooh yeah
Oh, prayin', now to something that has never showed him anything
Oh, feelin', understands the weather of the winters on its way
Oh, ceilings, few and far between all the legal halls of shame, yeah

Not that it had helped any. He still feels like shit. Fuck
you Scott. Already did. I hate that Son-of-a-bitch. Logan growls
and steps outside into the cool night or early morning air. It
rushes towards him and he inhales deeply. Oh yeah, that feels
better. He decides to walk around the grounds for a while, maybe
even do a little jogging just to get his blood going. It was
presently still frozen cold in his veins.
With that thought he begins to pump his legs, not knowing
quite were to go but not caring. It felt good to work the kinks out
of his muscles. He could feel the sweat beginning to culminate
after a few laps. He began to go faster. After several more laps
he began to feel the burning sensation in his muscles and went even
faster.
Unbeknownst to Logan, a figure was leaning against the side
of the mansion a putrid puff of smoke emanating from the lips that
were wrapped around a cigarette. He was watching Logan as he ran
himself ragged, trying to outrun his demons. Poor, foolish man.
This man of all people knew that there was no running from your
demons. Remy took one last drag of his cigarette before crushing it
beneath his boot. Maybe ol' Remy was going to have to teach Logan a
little lesson in dealing.

Logan smells the stench of cigarettes. Could only be one
person with that taste in smokes.
"Cajun." Remy materializes out of the shadows with a
smile.
"Hey, homme. Wha' `chu doin' out here runnin' a rut into de
groun'?"
"None a yer bleedin' business Gumbo. Now go away," Remy
chuckled.
"Runnin' ain't gonna help you an' you know it."
"Didn't I tell yer Cajun ass to leave? Yer startin' to piss
me off." Now Remy is laughing and that serves to further irritate
Logan.
"You're tryin' to avoid de subject mon ami. What's
botherin' you eh? You still frettin' over that Scott thing?" That
did it. The next thing Remy knows he's flat on his back with
Wolverine straddling him, claws unsheathed. The sight is enough to
make him swallow a lump in his throat but he keeps his usual
nonchalant disposition.
"You tryin' to gut Remy now?"
"Shut the fuck up Cajun! My personal life is none of yer
goddamn concern! Now leave me alone or I swear to God-"
"You'll do what? Sit an' wallow in your self-pity? Remy
tryin' to help and you ready to slice him because of it. Let Remy
in, he can help you wit dis."

Even flow, thoughts arrive like butterflies
Oh, he don't know, so he chases them away
Someday yet, he'll begin his life again
Whispering hands, gently lead him away
Him away, him away...
Yeah!
Woo...ah yeah...fuck it up...

"I don't need or want yer help Remy. I've dealt with this
shit before on my own and I'll do it again." With that, Logan
releases his grip on Remy and sheaths his claws. Remy is not one to
give up easily. He grabs Logan by the wrist and turns him around.
"You ain't walkin' away from Remy that easy. Stop bein'
such a badass for once in your life. Remy can tell when you hurtin'
and right now you hurtin' bad. You ain't gotta suffer alone." As
he speaks Remy gently begins tracing Logan's jaw with his finger.
Logan closes his eyes and pulls away from Remy's touch.
"Don't do that Remy. You don't know what it does to me."
"Den tell Remy." Remy repeats the motion. Logan growls and
twists away.
"You wanna know?" Remy nods his head. "It hurts. It hurts
like hell. All I get is pity from people. The poor little animal
who everyone is supposed to pet and feed when he throws a fit.
Ignore him, he just wants attention. Then, just when I think that
maybe someone gives a damn, I get my heart ripped outta my chest.
That's what that does to me. Drags up the hurt from what used to be
and coulda been. I would really like for once to not have to play
the badass but when I do, I get fuck over. That's just what
happens." Suddenly, emotions begin pouring from Logan like a
flood. It hits Remy like a ton of bricks and he is reeling. Logan
had never let this much of himself show before and it startles
Remy. Before he could even think, Remy grabs Logan and pulls him
into a bear hug. Logan instantly went rigid but then relaxes as he
wraps his arms around Remy's waist and buries his face in the crook
of Remy's neck. He doesn't cry, he can't. He just holds on for
dear life to keep himself from slipping into oblivion. Remy holds
him as tightly as he dares. Finally, Remy loosens his grip enough
so he can look at Logan. Then, he closes his eyes and presses his
lips against Logan's. Logan growls softly and parts his lips to let
Remy in. Remy tastes of spice and cigarettes and sweetness. Remy
moans and runs his fingers up and down Logan's spine.

Even flow, thoughts arrive like butterflies
Oh, he don't know, so he chases them away
Someday yet, he'll begin his life again, yeah
Oh, whispering hands, gently lead him away
Him away, him away...
Yeah!

When they finally break the kiss they are both breathless.
Logan cups Remy's face in his hands and looks into his eyes. A
twinkle comes to his eye.
"Thanks Remy." Remy smiles.
"Don' mention it chere. Remy always happy to help." Logan
laughs and places a sweet kiss on his lips.
"You know Gumbo. I still don't think I'm feeling a hundred
percent." Remy cocks an eyebrow.
"Non'?" Logan shakes his head. "Maybe we discuss de
problem inside. In your room."
"Why mine?"
"Cause it's soundproof."

END