Author: Makes Rain Woman (makes_rain_woman@h...)
Title: House Arrest; this is chapter 5. Work in progress.
Fandom and Genre: X-Men romantic slash
Disclaimer: The X-Men belong to Marvel Entertainment Group and 20th 
Century Fox, not me! I'm not making any money, just having fun. No 
copyright infringement is intended.
Pairing: Wolverine/Gambit
Rating: NC-17 
WARNINGS: Copious casual swearing, subtle references to child abuse, 
discussion of death.
Summary: Wolverine and Gambit are kicked off the team and Cyclops 
sentences them to stay home while the X-Men are on a mission. Bet he 
never thought this would happen...
Feedback: is very nice! :)
Archive: Please ask me first! :)
Lots of love to Bobbi, Rebop, Peg, Lee, and Chris for all their 
support!
 
 
Logan was the kind of man who didn't even think about dealing with 
his emotions - he just ran from them. He'd run to a bottle, into a 
fight, off to another country. Anything was better than trying to 
work his issues out through thinking and talking, because that made 
the pain real. If he could drown it or work it to the point of 
physical numbness or put distance between him and it, that was just 
so much easier. Few people in his life had ever bothered to be 
concerned about this behavior; even fewer had made any effort to do 
anything about it. 
 
So as the Canadian X-Man found his path blocked by one very furious 
Remy LeBeau, one of those rare individuals who both cared and dared 
enough to try to stop him, he was momentarily stunned. Then, in 
classic Wolverine fashion, he got very pissed off.
 
"Fuck, Cajun, get outta my way!" he growled. "Don't make me make you 
move!"
 
"Don' you EVER walk away from me like dat again, homme," Remy spat, 
undaunted by Logan's threat, almost as if he hadn't heard it at 
all. "Now get y'r ass back t' de living room an' we'll talk about 
dis like civilized people would."
 
SNIKT. "Rem, I'm warnin' ya..." It was an idle threat. Logan would 
never use his claws maliciously on someone he cared about, but he 
needed the scare tactic to get Remy to leave him be.
 
With a roll of his red-black eyes, a motion eerily similar to that of 
a roulette wheel, Remy called Logan's bluff. "What, y' t'ink I'm 
scared of you? Oh yeah, you so tough." He laughed, a dark laugh 
unbecoming of him, as he placed one hand flat against the wall. His 
signature pinkish charge spread out from beneath his fingers rapidly 
and within seconds encompassed a circle nearly five feet in 
diameter. Logan was momentarily distracted from his rage by 
fascination. Remy drew his power back into his being just as 
quickly, though with a bit more exertion. "T'ink it's clear now 
who's more powerful here, cher. So, non, I'm not scared. You're de 
one who's chickenshit right now."
 
Adamantium claws retracted along with the sharp edge of Logan's 
anger. "What th' hell are ya talkin' about?"
 
Remy stood firm and glared at Logan, hands on hips. "De mighty 
Wolverine, afraid t' face his emotions. Even when dere's someone 
right here willing t' be a shoulder t' cry on. Y'd rather go shred 
up some robots and holograms dan open up t' me. Lemme tell y', 
Logan, dis is doin' wonders for my self-esteem."
 
The acidic sting in Remy's tone wounded Logan deeply, but as usual, 
and as Remy had just pointed out, he didn't let it show. "Trust me, 
Gumbo, there's no way in hell you could handle all the rage 'n pain 
in this old soul." He gave his breastbone a heavy thwack with a 
clenched fist to accentuate his point.
 
"Foutre! I handled it jus' fine when Mariko died!" Remy hissed, 
throwing his hair back in defiance. "When you were broadcasting so 
loud every empath in the world must have felt you! I felt everyt'ing 
wit' you dat day! My heart bled too, cher! And dere ain't nothing 
you could have now dat could even come close to dat kind of hurt."
 
Logan was nearly shocked speechless. "Remy...fuck, I didn't know ya 
were an empath back then."
 
"Exactly!" Red eyes blazed as words Remy had been biting back for 
years finally spilled out. "And now dat you do, y' keep everyt'ing 
locked inside, jus' like all de others. Keep deir feelings locked up 
like deir jewelry, because dis stupid southern t'ief couldn't 
possibly know how to keep his hands off either one. Do y' know 
what's like to let y'r shields down and feel nothing coming off of 
people?"
 
"Rem, I..."
 
"Y' know, I really appreciated y'r little speech dis morning about 
sharing your t'ings wit' me, but if you're not willing t' share y'r 
heart an' soul, it means nothing." Remy crossed his arms tightly 
across his chest in an attempt to stop the tremor beginning to course 
through his body. "If dat's de way you're gonna be, cher, den maybe 
dis isn't really what I want after all." He turned on his heel and 
began to walk away.
 
"I'm a bad father figure." The painful words came out without 
conscious thought, just anything, anything to keep Remy from 
leaving. That was a pain Logan knew he would not be able to bear.
 
Remy slowly turned back toward him, his visage a mixture of 
confusion, concern and relief. "Quoi?"
 
Logan let loose a heavy sigh and braced his back against the wall, 
right over the area Gambit had previously charged. "I've had three 
chances an' I just keep fuckin' it up." He slowly slid down the wall 
until he sat on the floor and wearily put his head in his hands. 
 
"OK, cher, you are officially making no sense at all." Remy sat 
against the opposite wall, knees pulled up against his chest. Even 
so, the hallway was narrow enough that his feet still touched 
Logan's. "What de fuck are y' talkin' about, cher? Kitty and 
Jubilee? Mon Dieu, y' did a great job wit' dem!"
 
Logan snorted derisively. "Sure I did. And that's why when either 
of 'em needs anything they run to anyone but me. Kitty hasn't come 
to for anything since she was fourteen, can't even remember the last 
time we talked for real. And since Jubes went to the academy, I 
hardly hear from her at all either. She goes to Emma if she needs ta 
talk. Emma FROST, Rem! Jesus. I gotta be doin' somethin' wrong 
here. I ain't leavin' these girls with th' impression that I'm 
trustworthy and there ta support 'em, but I am!" He took a deep 
shuddering breath, and Remy could tell he was losing the battle 
against crying. "I love those girls as if they were my own, Remy. 
Amiko too. I thought maybe with her, if there was some distance 
involved, if I didn't spoil her or smother her too much, things would 
be better, ya know? But now that's backfired and I've lost her 
completely." Finally the tears began to fall.
 
Remy cautiously inched closer, long fingers reaching out to wipe the 
tears from Logan's cheek. He chose his words carefully, knowing he 
was treading on dangerous ground. "Logan, I can' really speak for 
what's happened wit' Amiko, but I've heard all 'bout how y' were wit' 
Kitty, and I saw y' wit' Jubilee. An' I know what it's like t' 
suddenly have a new father figure in y'r life. 
 
"I was - an' always will be - so grateful to Jean-Luc for coming into 
my life an' doing all he did f'r me. Still, I didn't always do a 
good job of conveying dat, even after I learned dere were emotions 
other dan fear and anger and despair." The young thief shrugged, 
thinking back to his days as an active member of Clan LeBeau. "It's 
jus' hard t' find de words t' thank someone for nurturing you, I 
guess. An' sometimes, as y' get older, y' start t' take it for 
granted.
 
"Look, Logan, mon cher, dose girls adore you, and dey wouldn't have 
turned out half as good as dey did wit'out y'r support an' guidance. 
But dey're both women now, dey need t' make deir own mistakes an' 
learn from dem what dey can. Jus' because dey don' run to you wit' 
every little t'ing anymore doesn't mean dey don' appreciate you or 
trust you or anyt'ing like dat. I still love Poppa jus' de same, but 
I'm my own man now. I've grown up. Jus' like des femmes are growing 
up now."
 
"An' growin' away from me," Logan added softly, looking away.
 
Remy's hand paused against Logan's cheek. "Cher? What's dis really 
about? Dis whole parenting issue is jus' a part of somet'ing bigger, 
non?"
 
A tired, resigned sigh. The Canadian forced himself to look Gambit 
in the eye, then cleared his throat. "In all th' years I've been 
with th' X-Men, I've had ta watch everyone change while I stayed the 
same. Not just the kids growin' inta women an' men, either. Watched 
th' whole team mature, come inta themselves. Cyke went from this 
cocksure little prick to a damn fine leader - still doesn't always 
use the best o' judgement, but no one's perfect. Jean was a real 
innocent beauty, and she's grown up ta be a strong, graceful woman. 
I've enjoyed th' stuff like that. But some of th' other changes..." 
He trailed off for a moment, his eyes shifting away, becoming 
distant. "I've had ta watch Chuck become an old man, th' one woman 
he truly loves light years away. Watched Kurt struggle with his 
faith; Piotr lose his sister an' never be th' same. Watched as 
everyone's seen things and experienced things no one should ever have 
ta see or experience, and it's aged everybody before their time." 
Logan made eye contact again and brushed the ever-present rush of 
hair away from Remy's face. "Your eyes are older than they should be 
for a man of twenty-five."
 
"Part o' dat's because I'm almos' twenty-eight."
 
Logan blinked. "When?"
 
The Cajun shrugged. "Sometime dis fall."
 
He still doesn't know when his birthday is. Logan bit back the ache 
that thought induced. "Regardless, Rem...I've always been th' 
constant in th' equation.  Unchangin', unagin'. Everyone else is a 
variable, an' as time goes on they'll drop out one by one..."
 
"...And leave y' alone," Remy supplied, finally understanding.
 
Logan's ageless, yet ancient eyes watered over once again, and he 
nearly choked on the words as he spoke. "I'm gonna outlive everyone, 
Rem. I thought at least with th' girls, they were so young, I'd have 
their company th' longest, but I'm losin' them even earlier than 
everyone else."
 
Remy pulled Logan into a tight embrace and gently rocked him, trying 
to calm him down. "Oh, mon cher, je comprends. I've had t' lose 
people I loved too. Mais, in life, people come and people go, f'r 
all of us. Gonna drive y'self nuts if y' keep t'inking about it 
every day. How long dis been bothering you?"
 
A modified shrug, hindered from full potential by Remy's firm loving 
grip. "Too long. Bothers me some days more than others. Have ta 
get away if it bugs me too much."
 
"But all dose times you've run off...never resolved much, neh?"
 
"No," Logan sighed. "Usually makes it worse. Find out someone else 
I knew there is gone now too." He pulled free from the hug and 
leaned against the wall again, staring up at the ceiling. "That's 
th' kicker, Cajun. In my life, everyone goes."
 
Remy leaned back as well, honey oak panels cool against his 
shoulders. "My poppa's a little like you, cher. Over a hundred 
now. Barring serious injury of illness, dat elixir o' life gonna 
keep him going quite a while. Outlived his wife, his only natural 
child, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, friends...granted a lot of 
dem didn't go by natural causes...an' he's probably gonna see me 
buried too."
 
"How's this supposed ta be makin' me feel better?"
 
"Hush y'self an' listen. Mebbe you'll see."
 
Logan hushed.
 
"I asked him about it once. I was pretty young still, sixteen, 
mebbe. De guild had seen a lot of tragedy in a very short time, so 
many lives lost. I asked him how he could face every morning knowing 
dis is how it would be f'r countless years. Basically, why wasn't he 
turning into a bitter ol' man when he had de right t'. And he 
said, 'Mon fils, if I lived my life worrying about what bad may come, 
I'd never have de time t' appreciate de good right before my eyes. 
And den dere'd be no point in living at all.'"
 
After contemplating Remy's words for a long moment, Logan finally 
pulled his gaze away from the ceiling tile and looked at Remy 
again. "Good point."
 
"Pffft. Course it is. Mon pere's a smart man."
 
Logan put his head in his hands. "I must sound so fuckin' self-
centered."
 
Remy ran a soothing hand up Logan's leg along the outer seam of his 
jeans. "Non, cher. No one wants t' be alone. But sometimes if y' 
t'ink about it too much y' end up dat way as a result." The thief 
got up and moved to sit beside Logan, and took his lover's hand in 
his own. "'Sides, cher, y' ain't alone now."
 
Logan swallowed hard against the lump forming in his throat. "But I 
will be when ya die."
 
Remy's heart nearly stopped. "Oh, cher..."
 
Logan felt his eyes welling with tears again, and hated the sense of 
loss of his self-control. "Aw hell, I'm probably bein' too damn 
romantic in already thinkin' this might last forever..."
 
"I'm hoping it will," Remy interrupted softly.
 
"Me too. God, Rem, am I ever. But it ain't gonna be 'forever'. 
You're twenty-eight. Let's be optimistic an' give ya sixty years o' 
good health." He paused, and looked at Remy with one eyebrow 
raised. "Unless you drank from th' elixir?"
 
"Can' discuss dat, cher," Remy sighed. "Not common practice wit de 
younger generation of de guild, so we keep records of who has and 
hasn't closed. Sorry."
 
"It's OK, Rem." Logan understood the need to keep some things 
unknown. "Anyway, let's go with th' sixty then. Don't wanna freak 
ya out here, Rem, but Jesus, what I'm feelin' for ya now is so 
strong, I can't even begin ta think what it would be like at that 
point, an' then to lose you..." And as much as he hated to, Logan 
started to cry again, hard wracking sobs that made his stomach hurt. 
He buried his face in Remy's shoulder, ashamed, scared. Remy held 
him tightly through the storm, rocking him and whispering comforts in 
a low Cajun patois.
 
As the flow of tears finally started to ebb, Remy's soft voice broke 
the silence. "Y' know, tomorrow your healing factor could quit 
working an' de adamantium poisoning could kill y'. Den I'd be de one 
having t' face life alone."
 
His words made Logan look up in surprise. He started to protest that 
that was highly unlikely, but stopped himself. How did he know that 
for sure? Remy was right, the other shoe could drop any day. He'd 
never thought of it that way. It wasn't impossible for he to be the 
first one to go.
 
"I've never had de luxury of planning for de future, cher. Lived my 
whole life knowing tomorrow might not come f'r me. But if I start 
t'inking in dose terms, no number of Hurricanes gonna drown dat 
ache." Remy smiled at Logan so sweetly it made his insides 
melt. "Dat's why y' got t' live for de moment. Carpe diem an' all 
dat. Take it while y' got it an' make it wort'while." He reached 
out and traced the line of Logan's jaw with a single fingertip, 
sending a shiver through the older man's body. "Mon cher, let's not 
worry about what bad may come and jus' take dis as it goes, 
d'accord? Even if it did end tomorrow I wouldn't regret a t'ing."
 
Logan didn't fight against the tears this time, and it didn't hurt. 
He pulled Remy close, needing to meld with him.  Remy crawled into 
his lap without having to be asked. They held each other for long 
moments, reveling in the intimacy, the tender silence between them 
saying all that words could not say.
 
"Y' feel any better, cher?" Remy finally whispered against Logan's 
ear. He shifted his weight so that he could see his lover's eyes.
 
Logan bit back a groan at the pressure Remy's movement 
exerted. "Yeah, Rem. Lots better." He sighed. "Guess I hold stuff 
in too much. Then when somethin' like this mess with Amiko and Yukio 
brings it all to a head I end up a total wreck like this."
 
Remy chuckled. "Yah, but we're men. Dat's de way we're made. Least 
dat's what Stormy always tells me."
 
Logan had to laugh at that as well, but then he grew serious again. 
He let himself fall deep into Remy's haunting, haunted 
eyes. "Doesn't all this bother you?"
 
Remy blinked. "What, Logan?"
 
"Me. All my demons. This growin'-old-an'-lonely thing is just th' 
tip of th' iceberg. There's all th' Weapon X stuff and..." He 
trailed off, shaking his head. "Fuck, Rem, are ya sure ya wanna deal 
with all my emotional baggage?"
 
The Acadian was quiet for a moment. Not an angry or pensive quiet, 
just a thoughtful quiet. Then with feline grace he uncurled himself 
from Logan's lap and stood. "C'mon," he offered, extending a hand to 
help Logan to his feet.
 
"Where're we goin'?" Logan asked, none the less taking Remy's hand.
 
"Trust me." Remy kept a loving grip on Logan's hand and they walked 
down the hall.
 
"Didn't ya try to stop me from headin' this way not too long ago?"
 
"Tried t' stop y' from goin' to de Danger Room. Dat ain't where 
we're goin'. Now hush."
 
It didn't take long for Logan to figure out that their destination 
was the indoor pool area, and ultimately, the hot tub. An excellent 
idea; every muscle in Logan's body suddenly felt knotted as tight as 
wet rope. But Remy was acting more than a little unusual; quiet, 
subdued. Logan hoped he hadn't upset him too much with his temper 
tantrum earlier.
 
Remy flipped the switch the ignited the water jets in the tub. "Take 
y'r clothes off an' hop in, cher. I'll be dere in a sec." He walked 
toward the row of lockers.
 
Logan had to smirk as he unbuttoned his shirt. "Gettin' a little 
bossy there, Cajun."
 
"You'll get used to it," Remy winked over his shoulder, rummaging 
through his locker.
 
Logan quickly finished stripping and groaned as he sank into the hot 
rolling water. He maneuvered his body until a jet hit the small of 
his back, then relaxed against the side of the tub.
 
Remy returned carrying a bottle of bath oil. Logan grinned. "That 
better not smell like anythin' edible."
 
"It doesn't, promise!" Remy smiled, pouring a generous amount of the 
oil into the tub. Logan's nose was immediately assaulted with the 
crisp scent of juniper. An aroma of the wild; the scent of home. It 
sent a tingle of pleasure through his entire being. "Christ, Rem, 
you're full of surprises," he moaned, eyes drifting shut.
 
"Je sais." Remy peeled off his clothing and joined his lover among 
the bubbles. "Jus' try t' relax now, cher. Y' need it."
 
The combination of pulsing water massaging him, a comforting aroma 
and Remy's mere presence caused the Canadian's body to finally 
unwind. But the more he began to relax, the more aware he became of 
a growing sense of apprehension from his lover. Concerned, he opened 
his eyes. "Rem? What's wrong?"
 
"C'mer, cher," he said hesitantly, avoiding making eye 
contact. "Gimme your hand."
 
Logan obeyed, curious and a little nervous. Remy slowly guided 
Logan's hand to his chest, letting the sensitive fingertips run over 
the faded jagged scars crisscrossing down the center of his 
torso. "Dese are from Sabretooth. De culmination of my time wit' 
Sinister." He moved Logan's hand to his ribcage to feel the sharply 
cut ridges of flesh there. "Dese are from de duel dat got me exiled 
from de guild." The young thief's breath caught in his throat as he 
lifted his long sweep of hair and brought Logan's hand to rest on a 
set of vertical scars running the length of the back of his 
neck. "And dese...dese are jus' a few of de ones from my childhood."
 
"Remy..." Logan didn't know what to say.
 
"Dose are jus' de physical scars, cher. De emotional ones run 
deeper. Y' know some of dem. De rest...I hope t' be brave enough t' 
tell you in time, but I t'ink y' can draw some conclusions t' what my 
life was like on de streets."
 
Remy finally looked at Logan, his mystical eyes shining with 
stubbornly unshed tears. "So, non, Logan. I'm not bothered by your 
demons. Got plenty of my own." He placed Logan's hand against his 
chest again, slightly further to the left, over his heart, and then 
laid his own palm over Logan's heart as well. "Maybe my demons can 
keep yours company...an' maybe together we can finally start t' heal?"
 
There were no words to do the moment justice, and Logan knew he was 
bad with words anyway. He answered with a kiss, long and tender, 
sweet and passionate. Remy whimpered and returned the sign of 
affection with enthusiasm, his tongue slipping into Logan's mouth, 
his hands kneading at the taut flesh of Logan's back. Logan pulled 
the thief into a tight embrace and soothingly stroked Remy's spine as 
he slowly decreased the intensity of the kiss until they were only 
nuzzling at each other's lips.
 
"So, dat would be a yes?" Remy asked softly, eyes hopeful.
 
"Definitely." Logan swallowed hard, realizing the tangle of limbs 
they were in. His cock was coming to life, and he could feel Remy's 
equal arousal hard against his thigh. The urge to make love was 
obviously there for both of them, but as tempting as it was...this 
wasn't the time. Sex would be comforting, but it shouldn't be used 
that way. Physical release would only bring a temporary reprieve to 
the ache anyway. Wounded souls such as theirs needed more than that, 
something substantial, something permanent. As hungry as his body 
was to lie down with Remy LeBeau, his heart needed more reassurance 
first. Now, how to convey that without hurting any feelings...
 
He didn't have to worry. "Y' know, cher, it's taking everyt'ing dis 
t'ief has t' keep from jumping y'r bones right here an' now," Remy 
confessed, loosely tangling his hands in Logan's wild mane of 
hair. "But dat wouldn't get us anywhere. Nice as it would be, dat's 
not what we need from each other most right now."
 
Logan let out a deep breath of relief. "That's how I feel too, Rem. 
Though I really can't guarantee how much longer my will power's gonna 
hold out." He let his eyes roam over the luscious body in his arms.
 
"Me either," Remy sighed, the path of Logan's gaze burning like a 
sinful fire against his flesh. "Mebbe 'tween de two of us we'll be 
strong enough. I wan' you, cher, but I wan' it t' be special."
 
"Same here," Logan assured him. He kissed those sweet lips once 
again. "Now, I say we take full advantage o' th' fact that there's 
no one waitin' in line for th' hot tub." He leaned back to retake 
his earlier spot.
 
"Mmmm, dat sounds like a plan," Remy purred. He sank deep into the 
water and curled up against Logan, resting his head on his lover's 
shoulder. "And what do we do after dis?"
 
Logan wrapped an arm around Remy and pulled him snug against his 
side. "Aw, I dunno. Thought maybe we could try this bein' lazy 
thing again. I was kinda startin' ta like it. No more cartoons, 
though. That was just too weird."
 
Remy laughed. "D'accord, no more cartoons. What y' want t' do, 
then?"
 
"Nothin' in particular. Just talk and putz away th' rest of th' day 
with ya. I'm sure even without an agenda we'll find ourselves up way 
past bedtime again. An' speakin' of, I thought maybe we'd sleep in 
your room tonight, if that's OK."
 
Remy sat up a bit. It was now or never. "Act'ly, cher, I was 
t'inking...maybe we could sleep dere every night? Make it our room?"
 
Logan's eyes grew wide. "Ya want me to move in with ya?"
 
"Oui." Self doubt reared its ugly head and Remy looked away. "Mais 
I know I'm probably a bad roommate..."
 
"Why? 'Cause Rogue wouldn't move in?"
 
Remy snapped his head back to face Logan. "You knew?!"
 
Logan nodded as he cupped Remy's chin in one hand. "Overheard what I 
gathered was one of several refusals. Dumb move on her part, but 
good fer me."
 
Remy swallowed hard. "I know you're used t' your own room..."
 
"Bah. Your room's bigger. Plenty o' room for all our stuff." He 
followed the curve of Remy's bottom lip with his thumb, enticing a 
little moan. "My home is where you are now, Rem. I'd love ta shack 
up with ya an' be your kept man."
 
Remy felt as though his heart would burst with relief and joy. He 
kissed Logan's thumb. "Merci, cher, merci. Mus' say, though, never 
imagined y' as de 'kept' type."
 
"I could get used to it."
 
"Y' wan' t' move stuff today?" Remy nestled against Logan's shoulder 
again.
 
"Nah. That can wait 'til tomorrow. Let's just enjoy th' rest of the 
day together."
 
"Sounds perfect, cher." Just like everything was sounding perfect 
these days,