Author: Xantissa
E-mail: xantissa@xl.wp.pl
Feedback: please, pretty, pretty pleeeeeeeeeeeease!
Pairing: Logan (Wolverine)/Remy LeBeau (Gambit)
Rating: NC-17
Archive: You like it? You take it! Just let me know (so I can swell with pride!)
Disclaimer: not mine (sigh) so don’t sue me
Warnings: Rape, abuse, graphic violence.
Summary: Logan pretends he doesn’t remember what happened the previous night. And Sever remembers her first meeting with Remy.
Series: sequel to “Making a choice”
Author notes: it’s AU. I wanted the scene in Sinister’s lab to be scary but I think I didn’t manage. Sorry. Anyway if you have weak nerves or stomach do not read further.
Thanks to my lovely Sara for putting up with my demands and doing beta sooooo fast. I love you girl J

When things are different

Part 1

Remy woke up with a terrible headache. A wave of nausea forced him to dash for the bathroom. As soon as he got there, he started emptying the contents of his stomach.
While bending over the toilet his mind cleared enough to register few things.

First, he was alone when he woke up.

Second, He was sore.

The events of the previous night came back to him with a force that almost caused him to sink to his knees.

Finding Sever, fighting with Logan and then his desperate attempt to save his life. He forced his best friend to rape him.

He didn’t know what felt worse – shame of a victim or loosing his friend. Because after yesterday, there would be nothing between them that could be saved.

His body ached but not only from the… sex?… assault? But also from physical strain. It always was like this.

Although, he did feel the pleasure from sex, he still felt bad. He had problems with defining which emotions were his last night and which belonged to Wolverine. It was a trick that he learned as a child. If he couldn’t avoid rape; he linked to the mind of person hurting him and got lost in their feelings. After the fact, he always felt like shit and hurt, but it seemed that it stopped the nightmares. At least some of them…

But he wanted to be honest with himself. Wolverine didn’t HURT him like he could have. He didn’t want to HURT him. He wanted to fulfill his desire, his lust and he did it. The ones before often wanted to cause him pain.

The dark thoughts were chased away by a sudden flashback. Wolverine bending over him and licking the tears away. Even in such a feral state, he did care. Remy couldn’t imagine how he would survive without Logan as a friend.

He would be so lonely…

Another wave of terrible nausea came over him and forced him to throw up again. He broke into a cold sweat and started shaking. Remy suspected that part of it was shock and part a mild concussion.

He had been hit pretty hard last night.

But there was another question he wasn’t looking to getting an answer to. How would Logan react? He hadn’t seen him yet. What if he did the same thing that others before him had when affected by his charm, when he couldn’t control it? What if he got mad and beat him up?

Suddenly, a shadow appeared over him and Remy flinched instinctively. Only then he realized that it was Logan. He was dressed and holding something in his hands.

Gambit had problems with thinking straight. His head ached badly and his guts were twisting with sudden fear.

Logan nearly fell under the overwhelming stench of fear that came off of the young Cajun curled on the floor in front of the toilet.

His skin was cold, sticky with sweat and grey. The scent got worse when Gambit noticed him. He felt like he had a large, cold hand gripping his stomach when the younger man flinched.
Logan gritted his teeth and covered the naked man with blanket that he had brought with him when he heard him puking.

Gambit froze when he felt the warm blanket over his shoulders. Only then did he realize he was completely naked. He didn’t dare to move or breath. What would happen next?

Logan felt sick himself watching how scared the Cajun was. Was he really so cruel? Did he hurt him so bad? He desperately wanted to find out if Remy was bleeding, to personally check what kind of damage he caused.

Logan woke up few hours ago. His mind had been blank, only a faint echo of feeling, some images. Just like every time he came back from his berserker mode.

At first, he wasn’t worried about it. After all it wasn’t something new. But then he realized he was naked and in bed with ANOTHER naked body. This certainly didn’t happen often. Then the scent.

Salt of tears, blood and semen. Sweat. The stench of fear that remained on sheets.
Then he remembered some images from previous night.

Something exploding in front of his eyes.

Wide, scared red on black eyes

His claws slashing away the Cajun’s clothes.

He jumped out of bed and in complete terror, stared at the exhausted, bruised young man in the bed. He had scratches and little bruises – from Logan’s fingertips – on his arms and chest and a large, ugly dark bruise on his left temple.

He was asleep but even then the stress was clearly visible on his features. He curled into a fetal position on the farthest end of the bed.

As he watched Remy, he began to understand just what he did. He couldn’t believe he had hurt his friend so much.

Why did his beast force him into raping Remy?! Why? He usually became the berserker when somebody threatened him or his family but he never, ever did something like this! He always despised rapists, considered them cowards and lowest form of life, and now he was one himself.

He went out to think, he had to get away from that room, smelling of come and fear, from that still form, that was live proof of his crimes.

But he didn’t go far. He couldn’t.

The boy was probably wounded, and needed medical attention. He should have checked for injuries himself but… but the truth was, he was afraid to wake him.

He, the big, bad Wolverine was afraid to look into that boy’s eyes. Guilt started eating him from inside like angry, mad worm.

He decided to wait until the boy woke up by himself. They still had few hours until the Blackbird was due to get them.

And now he was standing over the trembling, kneeling form and couldn’t force himself to say a word. There were no words that could ease the pain that Remy was feeling.

Logan stepped back, wanting to leave the kid more space, hoping it would reassure him a bit.

Remy let out a long, ragged breath that he had been holding too long, not realizing that with his enhanced senses, Logan could easily hear it. He couldn’t keep from tensing when Logan came back. His large, heavy form looming over him caused the fear to come back.

“Easy kid.” Logan said in a strange voice. “It’s ok.”

Then he slowly pressed wet towel to the back of his neck.
Remy closed his eyes, desperately wanting to believe the older man. He cast a quick glance at the older man’s face. Hazel eyes were filled with concern and his face bore lines of stress. He was worried.

“What’s wrong?” Asked Logan, hoping that the boy would tell him what injury caused the sickness.

But in his confused state of mind, Remy didn’t understand. He had often heard that Wolverine didn’t remember what happened during his berserker modes.

Could it be possible that Logan didn’t remember?

“Please, Mon Dieu, let it be dat way!” he prayed desperately. He decided to take his chances.

“Gambit is sick. He blew your shirt by accident yesterday and got hit pretty hard.” He motioned to his temple hoping it would be close enough to the truth to fool the feral man.

Logan stared at him for a moment, completely confused. Why was the kid lying? From fear?
Then Logan realized that Remy thought HE didn’t remember last night’s events. And he didn’t but his senses already told him everything.

Logan wanted to apologize, tell the truth, but he noticed that the stench of fear disappeared.

It seemed that Remy felt better this way. Logan decided to play his game for now. He had to take the kid to the med lab without unnecessary attention. Cyke was supposed to get them out of here in two hours. Logan was ashamed of his actions but didn’t give a damn if anybody else knew about it. They couldn’t possibly think about him worse than he did.

But the Cajun was another story. Keeping his image was everything that was left to him after The Trial. He decided to leave it to Remy – should he tell somebody about what happened or not.

For now however, he needed to get the boy dressed. When he helped him to get to his feet, his scent hit his nostrils and, to his complete horror, he found it attractive. In a matter of seconds he got hard. Remy was trying to keep the blanket around himself and he didn’t notice sudden change in Logan’s eyes. They became gold and a low, guttural growl escaped him.

Remy jerked away and Logan snapped out from his lust- hazed state.

“Get dressed kid; we should be at the meeting place in two hours.” He barked. Logan was feeling sick himself. He couldn’t believe that his body reacted that way to the barely alive kid.

“Yer an animal…a sick old bastard… that what’s ya are.” He thought while getting as far from the kid as possible.

Remy never knew what happened. Logan’s reaction pushed him totally off balance. One minute he was concerned and the next he was angry. Trying not to think about the future, he concentrated on simple actions. First, get himself clean – wash off all the remnants from previous night. Then find a spare set of clothes – because his others were cut into shreds.

* * *
 She was conscious. All the time, 24/7, all the hours of the day, every day of the past ten years, she was aware of things around her.

The TLC – special liquid that allowed her to breathe because it was specially filled with oxygen – that filled the tank she was resting in didn’t muffle the sounds. Even if it did, her inner sensors scanned the room every two or three seconds.

Normally, nothing disturbed her. But then, she sensed HIM again. After six years, he was near again.

He wasn’t alone. This time however, there was no Sinister around.

Neither of them noticed that her eyes opened for a brief moment – enough for her to see both men.

HE was older. He still looked like that young boy back then, but something in his features showed that he had been through a lot of bad things in his life. He wasn’t a boy anymore. She activated ADB – Automatic Data Base. Something that was a pat of her built-in computer that became much, much more.

Subject: Logan a.k.a. Wolverine
Status: Mutant
Age: unknown
Powers: healing factor, adamantium skeleton, foot long adamantium claws, 3 in each hand. Extensive combat and tactics training, highly aggressive, unpredictable, prone to berserker mode. Half animal mutant.
Current occupation: member of X-men
Chances of subject being able to defeat Sever?
Processing… 0%

After receiving data from ADB she shifted her gaze to young man behind the short, heavy man. She didn’t need to ask ADB about him. She already knew what there was to know.

Flashback

“Why aren’t you listening to me?” Asked Sinister, standing in front of the tank in which she was resting. Her eyes were closed but she did hear him. He ordered her to awaken. The system didn’t accept the command.

“So we will try it a different way. Harris! Is the cable ready?” He asked, watching cables being dropped into the tank.

“We shall see what your reaction is to some electricity. I know you are listening to me.” He said in a flat voice. He was so sure that he could train her.

Using his telepathy on her was useless. She didn’t have a mind to target! She was a machine! But the machine lived in human body so she was able to feel pain. Her senses worked well.

“It’s ready!” Announced his assistant.

“This liquid will be an excellent conductor for the electricity. Switch it.” He ordered.

Even while saying this, he understood that something was wrong. Her eyes snapped open. Large, gold eyes with vertical pupils stared at him without any expression.

The TLC around her boiled and started sparkling as electricity shot out of the cables, but it never touched her. A golden glow was created around her body and in a matter of a heartbeat she was surrounded by pure energy.

For an endless moment in time, everything froze. Energy was flaring and dancing around her lean body and then she closed her eyes again and then hell broke loose.

Every single device, every cable and piece of equipment in his laboratory started sparkling – like a warning and then it exploded.

That bitch controlled the energy, even being half-drugged.

He watched in awe and terror as the glow started spreading and everything that it encountered just disappeared. His experiment succeeded. She drew energy from everything she encountered – living being or metal. She sucked it until the material disintegrated because the atoms it consisted of, hadn’t enough energy to stay joined and simply fell apart on a molecular level.

Nothing could stop her. But he wasn’t afraid. He knew that all it took for him to escape was to open the tesseract. So he tried. And then he realized that she could kill him as easily as his assistant that ceased to exist in front of his very eyes. The tesseract needed energy to be created and she controlled it.

As fast as it started, it ended.

When he looked around, all he saw was…the room. An empty room. No body of his assistant, no remnants of his things, there wasn’t even smoke!

She had showed him her real power – a power to destroy.

Flashback

That was the first time she was awakened. The second time she saw Remy LeBeau.

Flashback

“Do it.” Commanded Sinister to a young – maybe 17 year old boy. He had long auburn hair tied in loose tail but what drew her attention were his eyes. Red on black. Hard and scared at the same time. They expressed too much. She had the ability to recognize emotions, but she couldn’t feel them.

“Gambit can’t!”

“Do not disobey me LeBeau!”

The boy shivered, but the fear of what may come from releasing his Charm was stronger even than the fear of Sinister.

Sinister wanted him to hit her with his Charm. But to do it, he would have to lower his shield. He had no control of the Charm and probably every one in the room would be affected by it.

And there were an awful lot of people.

Sinister, two of his assistants and the Marauders; Creed, Arclight, Harpooner, Prism… and others. He fought well, but couldn’t possibly fight them all off.

“Gambit is sorry… but… “He couldn’t do it! It was too dangerous. And there was the girl in the tank. Sever. That was how he called her. Beautiful in a strange, exotic way.

Pale skin, long white hair, lean body, delicate features, she looked like an angel asleep but she FELT wrong. His empathy was weak because of the shields, but he could read emotions on basic level. To go deeper he would have to drop his shields. And that was not an option because it would release his Charm.

He still could sense her and one thing he knew; he was scared. Every single fiber in his body screamed not to come close to her. Such a dark force. Cold and strange…

Gambit never knew that Sinister didn’t want him to use the Charm. He knew that he would refuse. It was just one of his mind games he played. His goal was different. He wanted strong emotions to really move Sever. He figured pain and fear would be the best.

“I think I should teach you a lesson LeBeau.” He said darkly and readied psionic attack.

Gambit’s shields were impossibly strong, but not for Sinister. He taught him to create them, some he even made himself. With one thought, he crushed younger man’s shields.

Remy’s scream cut through the air like a knife. He caught his head in hands and fell to his knees. The pain was unbearable. He lost his vision for a moment.

His Empathy and Charm went haywire. He didn’t notice that others in the room started advancing on him.

When hands started reaching for him, he jerked away and tried to fight his way out of it. Cards flashed and he began to throw.

In panic, he charged them with more energy than normal.

Sinister was confused. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Powerful explosions shook the lab and he had enough. There was no use in prolonging it. He reached out with his mind one more time.

Remy suddenly froze in the middle of charging the card. He was desperate to run but couldn’t. Something cold and evil slipped into his unprotected mind and took control over his body.
He could do nothing; only watch Sabertooth grin wickedly while approaching him.

“So pretty boy… we are going to have fun, aren’t we?” He asked before hitting him in face with a force that threw him onto the far wall. The pain shot through his jaw and straight into his neck.

Others in the room didn’t dare to interfere. They just stared with sick fascination at Gambit and Sabertooth throwing him like a ragged doll.

When he was satisfied with the results, he lifted him from the floor by grabbing remnants of his clothes.

“Do it in front of the tank.” Said Sinister. He was silently watching events like he would his lab rats.

Creed only snarled, but carried him there and slammed him into the glass wall of the tank.

Sever opened her eyes.

Creed froze for a brief moment. There was something in those beautiful, golden eyes that made him feel… strange, off balance.

She, however, didn’t make a move. He wasn’t even sure she saw him. Her eyes were as good as dead, without any emotion, or sign of consciousness.

But Sinny wanted him to make a show, so he would. He was ordered to scare and hurt the Cajun as much as possible.

He caught fistfuls of auburn hair and jerked his head upwards. Kneeling on the floor he bent to look into red on black eyes.

Remy’s face was already covered in bruises. His eyes were heavily swollen and he could tell that in a half hour he wouldn’t even be able to open them. His jaw was probably broken. But even the pain didn’t mask the fear in those demon eyes.

“Ya hear me Cajun? I’m gonna fuck ya till ya bleed… and then every one in this room will have a turn with ya. When they finish I will take care of ya again… and again. Ya gonna pray for death before the sun comes up again.” He promised, an evil grin spreading across his face and slammed his head once more on the hard floor.

The pain almost made him vomit, but he couldn’t do even that. He had no control over his body and was terrified to death. Tears began to run down his face when he heard Creed calling a few of the others to help him. Soon after somebody’s hands caught his arms and pinned him to the floor.

Sinister didn’t put the genoshian collar on him, because he wanted his empathy to work. He knew that sooner or later he would be too lost in pain, and wouldn’t be able to control his empathy. Then he would send his feelings to Sever. And that was his goal, to see her reaction to actually feeling something.

When Sabertooth shred all of the clothes from the young thief, Sinister let go of his mind-control over Remy’s body, but still controlled his hands. He didn’t want the Cajun blowing his lab.

“Non! Sop dis!” He yelled trying to pull free of the hands still pinning him to the floor.

“Easy boy… I haven’t even started yet!” Said Creed chuckling.  “I wanna warm you up first.”

Then Remy heard the sound of a belt being pulled from his own jeans. Then there was a whistle of air and terrible pain shot up from his sensitive thighs.

He screamed.

He was completely naked, lying on his stomach on the floor, held by number of hands and couldn’t possibly avoid the blow. It hurt terribly but he had a sickening feeling that it wasn’t everything that Creed was capable of.

And he wasn’t mistaken.

”Nice… really nice.” He mused watching as an angry red mark formed on pale skin. “But I think I can do betta…”

This time he couldn’t even scream. Sabertooth put such a force into the blow that sound of whistling and a loud /crack/ was almost at the same time. The belt hit hard, cutting through the skin of his back like a hot knife. Droplets of blood splashed on the floor and he nearly swallowed his own tongue.

This time he wasn’t given any reprieve. Creed hit him a second time, across his buttock.  The pain was worse that anything Remy knew. Then another one and another.

Blood covered he floor around him. After the fifteenth hit he couldn’t even move. He long ago gave up struggling. His back, ass, sides and thighs were covered in blood and deep cuts. He felt as if his muscles and skin were crushed and everything that was left was a bloody mess – which wasn’t far from truth.

There wasn’t even a semblance of control over his gifts anymore. It took all his strength only to breathe. He wished that he had fought harder, he wished that he had been killed… not this. Anything but this unending torment, this nightmare that had only just begun.

He could feel lust and sick pleasure emanating from watching him suffer coming from the men surrounding him. And he could feel that large, dark hole that was Sever and that still terrified him most.

“I think ya’r ready boy…” said Creed and fell to his knees behind the young man and forced him on his hands and knees.

“Non!!!!! Please… I beg you, non…” He sobbed helplessly knowing he wouldn’t be able to endure this any more. But nothing could help him this time and he felt Creed’s cock ramming into him and tearing him apart. Pain that shot into his spine and up made him lose consciousness for a moment. But the pain was so strong, that it caused him to regain consciousness again. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t  breathe, only FEEL every twisted, sick emotion in the room making him insane.

He prayed for death and didn’t notice the tears running down his face anymore.

“Oh…” Said some mocking voice. “Little girl is crying? I have something for you. “And his head was jerked up and he saw one of the guards unzipping his trousers to pull out his swollen cock.

That was too much. He started screaming in the only way he was still capable of. Mentally.
He heard Creed laughing at him and slamming his cock deeper and with more force into him, not caring about the blood running down his thighs.

He never knew what triggered the second event. In a matter of seconds everything ended.

Sever suddenly left her tank. No one paid attention to her. She was always silent in her tank, never reacting to anything. And suddenly the tank exploded. Cool, thick liquid covered Remy, strangely soothing his tormented back and then the screams began.

She was surrounded by white glow. The first blow was directed at nearest guard. It was so fast that he didn’t even notice. Only after, he stood there, watching the hole in his chest through which he could easily see that his heart was ripped in two.

It seemed that wherever she touched her opponent, the flesh just disappeared. Remy lost consciousness soon after her first kill and never saw what happened to the others. She wondered if he remembered what happened next.

 An abrupt sound jerked her out of her thoughts. She moved further into the shadows watching Remy LeBeau and Wolverine get into the plane, called the Blackbird according to her ADB.
 

End of part 1