Well, better get out of the sissy robe before some redneck finds you and beats the heck out of you.
You notice a cowboy in a nice cowboyish outfit that seems to look like the unsilliest one of the town. You deck behind a hay stack and start whistling loudly. The one toothed wonder saunters over and you trip him, beat him, strip him, then tie him up.
You are now the baddest cowboy to ever wear chaps. You need to find a gun or something to help you battle Cell. You start off into town, strolling around, trying to fit it. You adjust your swagger to match everyone else walking around. You grab your crotch, spit and make sure that you don't seem obscure. You do catch some looks but maybe that's because you have all your teeth.
You make your way to the local whore house/bar and walk through the half-doors like they do in the movies.
Everyone turns and looks.
"Howdy." You bite your lip to strain from laughing. The people nod their heads in acknowledgement. You make your way to the bar.
"Pick the drink you wouldn't give to your worst enemy, and gimme a double." You flip a couple coins out of your pocket to compensate for the alcohol you down.
The novelty of being a cowboy is starting to wear off, you are starting to feel very silly.
A whore comes up to you. She looks pretty good, for a whore.
"Hey stranger, new in town?"
"Well, yeah, basically." You stutter out.
"Mmm. . . you look yummy."
"I get that a lot."
You don't have time to have small talk with whores. You have a fight to get to. "Where can I get a gun?" You ask the whore.
"Gun shop is at the end of the block, on the left, sweetie."
"Thanks," You mumble. You walk out to the door when you hear a gruff voice from behind crackle.
"Well, where you off to?" You turn to see a rough looking cowboy mock you. He has squinty eyes, a big bowl hat and a rough beard. "Leaving so early? Come sit over here, sweety."
You feel like kicking his lilly ass but you already have a fight to get to.
"Listen, I don't want any trouble," You begin.
"Well, ain't you the pretty one?"
"Don't push me redneck!"
He stands up, angered. He walks over to you and shoves you.
"Hey! Quit it!" He shoves you again, trying to get you into a fight.
"Come'on bitch! Fight back!"
He slugs you in the stomach and it takes the wind out of you.
Time to fight back! But how?
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