MACHS

COMMON GROUND CONFERENCE

WORKSHOP: T9 - Parenting and Fatherhood Part 2

Presenters: Mick Piotto, Jim Walker, Darian Bayley

Facilitator: Mick Piotto /Scribing

Following on from the morning’s workshop we will be asking the participants to creatively express their ideas through poetry, word, song, drawings, or verbally communicating what it means to be a father in today’s society.

Jim Walker introduced the session by reading two poems. Mick then offered two themes to guide the work to be undertaken:

1. The best day I had with my children.
2. The best moments with my children.

Then group decided to form three subgroups:

1. To write poetry
2. To visually represent the two themes in drawing

The third group chose to continue exploring the questions from the morning session.

The large group reformed and the contributions were shared.

The sub groups had produced a beautiful collection of drawings that represented the themes. There was a focus on recreational activities as a family.

The complex nature of step family relationships the birth and growth of children. The poetry was put together by, combining single phrases written by individual participants, which were then compiled to form a number of poems. These poems are attached for your enjoyment.

• The key recommendations that came out of the workshops relate to the personal, societal Government and human service organisational spheres which impact on the lives of men from diverse backgrounds and communities within our society. These groups include men from Indigenous, Gay, single parent, long term relationships, non-custodial parent, unemployed or employed backgrounds.
• The Common Ground Conference acknowledges the important and significant role that fathers are increasingly willing to take their responsibilities to raise, nurture, care for, and love their children seriously.
• Fathers are committed to building respectful relationships with their children and their children'’ mothers to do what is in the best interests of their children. Fathers are fully capable of being primary care givers and can develop the skills and knowledge necessary for raising healthy children.

This leads us to recommend the following at a personal level:

This conference calls on men as fathers to be themselves as dads and stand up to dominant ideas about what being a man is by:

• Expressing their emotions, (in a respectful way to others)
• Understanding their roles and responsibilities as fathers
• Not having to be strong all the time
• Not having to have all the answers
• Accepting differences in our children
• Being aware of our partner’s needs
• By giving our children room and not smothering them
• By using non-abusive techniques for disciplining our children
• Stopping smacking, yelling, shouting, put downs of our kids
• Relating to our daughters equally to our sons
• Not being afraid to show our love through physical affection
• Not physically, sexually, or emotionally abusing our children
• Actively participating in our children’s lives at school/home and elsewhere
• Not being afraid to be fathers in the true sense of the word

The common ground conference acknowledges the importance of and the need for ongoing policy development in the area of men’s health and men’s services This leads us to recommend the following at a Government and Human service organisational level.

This conference calls on agencies to:

• Develop or continue to develop Policies and Services that are responsive to the needs of men from the diverse populations of men within our society.
• Support for the development of services for men as identified through consultation with men from within communities in our society
• Promote inter-agency approach

Provide information relating to:

• Development of good information in relation to parenting, Pamphlets on how dad’s can be Dad’s
• An information centre for men and a place where men can access this information
• Availability of men to provide information to other men
• Information about cheap available activities for dad’s kid’s and family
• Information about, acceptable behaviour, responding to unacceptable behaviour, appropriate ways of showing affection, surviving adolescence, effective parenting
• How to survive on a low income

This leads us to recommend the following at a societal level.

• Acknowledge and remove barriers to men showing affection to children
• Acknowledge Father with Father of the year awards
• Accept and support men
• Challenge the myths and stereotypes of men
• Support men to be role models for other men
• Appreciate men’s contribution to society and family
• Acknowledge men’s love for their children
• Address the negative public perception of men as presented in the media
• Support for dad’s to learn how they can best protect their children growing up in the world today