Troll Trek V: SBN Contact
Troll Trek V: SBN Contact
Previously on Troll Trek.....
Mr. Spin having defeated the evil Marcus Kwan in a battle to the death, is
on his way to a well deserved vacation when suddenly he is summoned to Troll
Base 76. Mr. Spin leaves behind Captain Jack White and crew who remain
prisoners of the ASBNLL Empire. Meanwhile Emperor Bozak decides to keep
Bullyo and Greg alive, fearful of Bullyo's prediction that ASBNLL's troll
quality will decline without Bullyo.
And now the conclusion.
Greg: We've been in prison for days now. I don't know how much longer I
can handle being stuck with a bunch of cowards using fake names!
Jedi: It feels just like home for me!
Greg: We don't have a criminal record like you do.
Jedi: I don't have any criminal record! Getting pulled over for speeding
doesn't count!
Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! A quick check reveals that you've been arrested
for....
1. illegal possession of heroin with intent to distribute by trying to
convince potential buyers that heroin is safe.
2. copyright infringement and identity theft, by trying to steal someone's
photos and pretending to be him.
3. following, harassing, and stalking anyone that mindfucks you.
4. rioting in front of breast cancer clinics.
5. indecent exposure and commiting a lewd act in public while using photos
of laker fans attending a party.
6. impersonating a shark expert.
Jane: Chris sweetie, no wonder you've been in prison your entire life.
Bullyo: Sorry but Bullyo is not used to living in a penal colony like Jedo.
Jack: You are SO RIGHT. It is SO boring here. There's TOTALLY nothing to do
in prison.
Jane: Speak for yourself sweetie. At least I have my Electric Rick to
pleasure myself.
Jedi: Can I borrow it?
Jane: Chris, if I let you borrow it, I'm quite certain I wouldn't want it
back considering the places where you can insert that, are quite limited on
the male anatomy.
Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! How about putting that to better use? Like
using it to pick the lock?
Jane: Child, why don't you and the rest of your adolescent male companions,
go play with those prison guards?
Jedi: That's a good idea! Hey fishboy!
Laurance: You talking to me?
Jedi: Yeah. Hey, fishboy, entertain me. Tell me a story or something.
Laurance: SURE! I have a million stories to tell! :-) For example, just last
week, me and the GF were going out fishing but halfway there, I suddenly
realized I forgot to bring the BOAT! So then, we drive back and
next thing you know........
==
Scene shifts to Troll Base 76
Admiral Glapski: As you all know, the ASBNLL Empire annexed the Sixers NG 2
years ago. And now they have captured several of our TrollFleet officers.
This is a declaration of war!
Captain Judden: Can we handle them? Judden isn't so sure.
Glapski: We have been developing a secret weapon that will RUTS them!
Spin: What is it?
Glapski: My pla, Basketor will explain it.
Spin: Your pla?
Basketor: It is a generate of auto. Make spam.
Spin: Huh? What did he say?
Glapski: You donut know? Are you stupidl?
Spin: Donut? Stupidl? What? You mispelled a bunch of words here. I don't
understand you!
Glapski: You misplet mispelled. Maybe Dust can explain it better.
Dust: Da weapon is prolly da kewelest thing since me/kewel self!
Spin: What the hell is going on here? How low has TrollFleet fallen? I'm
surrounded by a bunch of illiterate stOOpid trolls!
Dust: i r not stoopit! You stoopit!
Glapski: No youse both stupidl.
Spin: Oh yeah? You're Kobe's Team!
Glapski: Ouch! Low blow!
Spin: You're right. Sorry, I went too far.
Glapski: Mr. Spin, you are less stupidl so you will lead the attack.
Spin: Well yeah, better to have a genius lead an attack than any of these
illiterates!
Glapski: Take no prisoners. Make sure youse RUTS them!
Spin: Sure, whatever the hell that means. What about Captain Jack?
Glapski: He is a casualty of war. Mr. Spin, I hereby promote you to Captain.
You'r now in command of the Trollerprise.
Spin: You'r? What's left of her anyways. The Trollerprise was damaged badly.
Glapski: I'll get you a new ship.
Spin: And I'll need crew replacements as well. Chrsan is my only crewmember
left.
Chrsan: sorry sir but i'm retiring from trollfleet.
Spin: What?
Chrsan: i just can't handle being a trollfleet officer anymore!
Spin: In other words, you're jumping off the Clippers bandwagon after you
made a fool out of yourself predicting they would make the playoffs.
Chrsan: well yeah. besides, i made enough money off bozak and co. after all
those nickels they sent me for my crickets. i can finally buy that escalade!
==
Meanwhile back in ASBNLL prison
Laurance: .... So I tell the GF, "Bitch! I'm not going in there!" GF starts
to get mad and raise her voice.
Jack: How long has he been talking? 3 hours?
Jedi: Shutup! This is getting interesting!
Laurance: GF stands up. I begin to get up when suddenly.....to be
continued......
Jedi: Finish the story fishboy!
Laurance: Sorry but my shift is over! Bye! :-)
Jedi: Damn! Now what do we do?
Laurance leaves as Laurel replaces him.
Jane: Boys, the entertainment has just arrived ........... oh my.
I'm really having difficulty attributing using AOL.
Laurel: Maybe I can help. Let me just sign on for the AOL free trial........
Jane: Isn't she gullible? Woman, did I ask for your help?
Laurel: No but.... wait a minute.... They billed me for the free trial!
Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Jane: Yes, isn't it funny how liberals often go to great lengths telling
other people what to do? Even going so far as to pay for a free service.
Laurance: Hey guys. I'm back to finish up the story!
Jedi: Shutup fishboy! Hey Laurel, I'm having trouble attributing using
webtv. Can you help me?
Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Laurel: Oh shutup.
Jack: You are SO RIGHT. Making fun of webtv is SO NOT funny. I mean, you
have NO IDEA how hard it is to attribute using webtv! I bet you computer
elitists would have absolutely NO IDEA how to do it!
==
Scene shifts back to Troll Base 76
Glapski: Meet you'r new first officer, Rob!
Spin: Rob? Absolutely not! I want another first officer!
Rob: Didn't you say you loved me like a brother?
Spin: I love nobody but Shaq! Say... Rob, you've been in TrollFleet almost
as long as I have. Yet you're still an ensign? LOL.
Rob: That's only because I left TrollFleet to coach high school basketball!
Glapski: Here's the rest of the crew replacements. You already know Basketor
and Dust.
Spin: Yeah, I'll take them. My claims of being a genius aren't so far
fetched with them around. Who else is there?
Jared476: Ensign Jared, sir!
Spin: Show me what you got. Give me your best troll.
Jared476: The Lakers are Shaq and Kobe and a bunch of CBA rejects!
Spin: G*damn! This is the worst troll since 79! I don't want this guy! Give
me someone else!
Glapski: We're short on quality trolls right now. All that's left are the
stupidl ones.
Spin: I suppose I can assign him to waste disposal. Who's next?
VeRacistNews: VeRacistNews! I hate black people but I'm not a racist, sir!
Spin: Yeah whatever. Show me what you got.
VeRacistNews: Kobe is an overrated ballhog! Allan Houston is better than
him!
Spin: I like this guy. He'll make a worthy addition.
VeRacistNews: Shaq is overrated too! I'll take Yao Ming over Shaq anyday!
Spin: WHAT?! Why you stOOpid cockroach!
Glapski holds back Spin.
Spin: Let me at him!
Glapski: Calm down! You'r going to need him!
Spin: Alright fine. I'll keek his ass later. Who else?
Kobe's Team: Jae Lee, sir!
Spin: Didn't you flunk out of TrollFleet Academy?
Kobe's Team: I've improved! I finally watched Scanners!
Spin: Fine, let's see your improvement. Give me your best troll.
Kobe's Team: Ok, here goes! I would toss Kobe's salad anyday!
Spin: Sheet! I absolutely do not want this troll on my crew! Git him out of
sight!
Rob: Say... was that guy male or female?
Glapski: I donut know.
Spin: So these are the best trolls that TrollFleet Academy is producing?
We're doomed!
Glapski: Time to check out you'r new ride.... the TrollShip
KobeBasher!
Spin: I like it!
Glapski: This baby is loaded. Anti-ballhog phasers, Shaq torpedoes, and the
Kobe-Clutch-O-Meter!
Rob: What about the RAASC?
Glapski: That too! You'll be able to calculate what Kobe needs to shoot in
order for the Lakers to lose!
Rob: I'm in love!
Glapski: And it's equipped with a topline broadband engine!
Spin: Yeah! Real Audio will load faster now!
Glapski: Now go RUTS ASBNLL and make them pay for invading my precious
Sixers group! Accept nothing less than thei'r unconditional surrender!
Spin: Set course for ASBNLL! Broadband speed!
Glapski: Troll long and prosper, your pla.
Spin: Yeah whatever.
==
ASBNLL HQ
Al: I did play at USC! I'll even make a scrapbook to prove it!
http://home.attbi.com/~awilson01/Scrapbook/Football.htm
Bozak: lol... al moron.. i will still kick your ass in any sport.....
Al: Bill Walton doesn't agree! Meet me sometime after the second monday when
Christmas Eve has passed during the next leap year and I'll show you!
Bozak: i can't take much more of your stoopidity.... *PLONK*
Back in ASBNLL prison
Laurel: I'm done playing with you. You can have the last word.
Jedi: Aw come on Laurel. I was just trolling you.
Suddenly Al appears.
Al: What? How did I get here?
Greg: Looks like you just got killfiled, chimpbrain! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Al: Bozak killfiled me for NO REASON!
Jedi: Hey, can I borrow the pics off your website?
Al: Sure.
Jedi: Wait a minute. You used the pics of a famous double murderer? At least
I was smart enough to use the pics of an unknown bodybuilder that nobody
would recognize!
Greg: Enough games! We need to get out of here!
Bullyo: Bullyo agrees with Grego. Bullyo has a business to run.
Jane: Chris, any ideas on an escape plan?
Jedi: Damn it Jane! I'm a heroin addict not an escape artist! Why else do
you think I'm still stuck in Australia? Hey
wait..... I have an idea! I'll just seduce that hunky guard over there and
when I gain his confidence, he'll let us go!
Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Very funny Pedophilios. You may be accustomed
to seducing young boys but you'll find adults far more difficult.
Jedi: Oh yeah? Watch this..... hey there big boy!
Jason: Hmm? You talking to me? [g]
Jedi: Yeah, you want some of this?
Jedi starts flexing.
Jason: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! [g]
Jedi: Hey wait! Don't run away! Come back! You haven't heard my poem yet!
Greg: Great idea Pedophilios! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
==
Back on the Trollship KobeBasher
VeRacistNews: We're approaching ASBNLL.
Spin: Launch the Glapbot.
--
Branden: Sensors are detecting something entering the atmosphere..... it
appears to be flooding our group with spam!
Ironside: Spam? What kind? Any porn?
--
Jedi: What's that noise?
Jack: Someone turn on CNN!
Jedi: It looks like TrollFleet is attacking ASBNLL! We're going to be
rescued!
Jack: Oh MY GOD! They're illegally flooding the group! I can't believe
TrollFleet would do this! The casualties are going to HUGE!
--
Branden: We are getting pounded by thousands of spam posts! This wouldn't be
happening if Bush weren't president!
Spin: *heh* Once we take over ASBNLL, we'll eliminate their political OT
posts forever! Basketor, send them the terms of surrender.
Basketor: Resist are futile. We like you surrender of uncondition.
Branden: You understand what he's saying?
Bozak: these idiot trolls are speaking a different language... we need
another idiot troll to translate....
Branden: But how? We got rid of all the idiot trolls so there's none left!
Bozak: we have to go back in time and get one...
Branden: Go back in time? How?
Bozak: got google? branden.. ironside....let's go!
Ironside: Wait, why don't we bring Greg with us?
Bozak: what for?
Ironside: We'll go back in time and switch him with the Greg of the past..
before he went crazy!
Bozak: lol....i thought he was always like that...alright... take him....
Ironside: Gregbot, you're coming with us!
Jedi: Hey wait! What about the rest of us?
Bullyo: Yeah Grego! Don't forget about your good buddy Bullyo! Bullyo
apologizes for ever calling you stupid!
Greg: Don't worry, I have my spies in place. I'll get you out. Yeah right.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
--
Spin: Have they responded yet?
Basketor: No repond yet. Maybe atmostfear is enterfear?
Spin: What?
VeRacistNews: Sir, sensors are detecting a temporal vortex opening up. A
small ship is approaching it.
Spin: Keep track of it. Dust! I have a mission for you. Go down to the group
and find Captain Jack.
Dust: Don't worry sir! i r not only da bestest troll in dis here group but i
r also da smartest! i won't fail you!
Spin: If you're smart, then I'm a genius.... er that didn't come out right.
I'm already a genius! Beam him down to the group!
--
Dust is uploaded to the group.
Chris Smith: What's this?
Dust: uh oh...
Fletcher: Hey a present from TrollFleet!
Chris: He can be the Bandito's new mascot!
--
VeRacistNews: Captain! Our sensors are showing 100% OT posts in
ASBNLL!
Spin: What? They must have gone back in time and changed history! We must
stop them! Follow them through the vortex!
Rob: Why? Why not just let them?
Spin: Idiot! Don't you see? Why would anyone bother reading our trolls when
the group is flooded with nothing but OT posts? They post nothing but OT,
we fall back. They assimilate entire newsgroups with OT posts and we fall
back. Never again! The line must be drawn here! Hold your course Mr.
VeRacist!
==
Somewhere in the past.
Bozak: where are we?
Branden: According to the level of OT posts, I'd say somewhere around 97 or
98.
Bozak: well let's get this over with... try and find some idiot troll who
can communicate with other idiot trolls...try to blend in with the crowd...
don't do anything that'll draw attention.... we don't want to alter
history.....
Ironside: Uh oh, someone's coming!
Viker: What is this??????? Why do you like all NY teams except the
Knicks?????? Do I sense a bandwagoner?
Branden: Branden's Law?
Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! The Knicks sucked when he was a teenager so he
jumped on the Lakers bandwagon!
Bozak: um... branden.. maybe you better get rid of that sig...... you're
drawing too much attention....
Branden: Fine, I'll use a different one.
George: Impeach Bush? Bush hasn't been president for years! Where have you
been?
Bozak: lol.... maybe you better get rid of your sig entirely....
Greg: Or maybe he should change it to Impeach Clinton to fit in with the
time frame! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Ironside: Uh, you guys go on ahead. I have something to do.
Bozak: where are you going?
Ironside: It's personal.
Bozak: look whaleside.... we have a mission to accomplish... you can't be
out searching for porn....
Ironside: That's not it! It's just that..... well.... I was hoping to find
my band director and prevent him from... um... touching my younger self. You
understand, don't you?
Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Your band director molested you? When
was this? Damn, I left ASBNLL way too early!
Bozak: yeah greg... you missed out on all the fun....but at least he didn't
send you a virus...lol...
Ironside: So can I go or not?
Bozak: lol... you think i'm going to let you erase the band director from
your history....yeah right.... permission denied...
Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Ironside: FUCK YOU BOTH!
--
Iceberg: The Lackers will never win a championship with Shaq and Kobe! If
they do, I'll come back and eat crow! We need to trade Shaq and Kobe! Break
up the team and rebuild!
Bozak: hey you... sbn...
Iceberg: SBN? What's that?
Bozak: nevermind... where can we find some idiot trolls?
Iceberg: Try over there.
Bozak: thanks.. have fun with your big hunk...
Iceberg: Huh? How did he know about that?!
--
Branden: What's going on over there? There appears to be a rally going on.
Burning Spear: Boycott Coz!
Intruder: Nobody wants you here biatch (Coz)!
Scott Sellers: Everyone ignore Coz!
Intruder: Time to report that biatch (Coz) to his ISP again!
Chandler: I just downloaded a newsreader today that supports killfiles! No
more Coz!
Huang Gang: Warning to Coz! Any more hostile posts from you will be
crossposted into the Sonics group!
Coz: If you want to commit net abuse, that's your choice Gang Bang.
SonicsAre1: Yeah! Coz is the man! hahahahahahaha
Good Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! COZ IS A PUSSY!!!!!!!!!
Chandler: Go away. This is a peaceful demonstration.
Good Greg: I'll show you how to handle a bitch!
Intruder: No that's biatch (Coz).
Coz: If you email me again, your ISP will be informed.
SonicsAre1: Yeah, what he said! hahahahahahaha
Good Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! It's just like you to talk shit and
then run and tell the teacher!
Coz: I don't go around committing net abuse and forging posts like you
Forger.
SonicsAre1: Yeah big brother! You tell him! hahahahahahaha
Good Greg: Tell your bitch to shut up!
Evil Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Let me handle this. Hey Stevie Pyeatt.
Looks like the Lakers just beat the Sonics again.
Good Greg: Hey where did Coz go? He disappeared!
Good and Evil Greg: Typical Coz! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Evil Greg: Bitch didn't even rotate my tires.
Good Greg: Who are you?
Evil Greg: I'm you from the future.
Good Greg: Damn I am UGLY in person!
Evil Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! We both may be ugly but at least I'm not an
SBN like you!
Good Greg: SBN? What's that?
Evil Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! See what I mean? I can't believe I was
once a stupid SBN!
Good Greg: Apparently you are STILL stupid! Time hasn't been kind to you. It
seems you became more idiotic as you grew older! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Evil Greg: I'm far more smarter than you who put your idiotic faith in Jerry
West who destroyed the Lakers by trading for El Busto!
Good Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Jerry West is a genius and 10 times
smarter than you!
Evil Greg: Is that why he let the fat cancer trade half the team?
Good Greg: You mean like Eddie Jones? He'll never be a clutch player!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Evil Greg: Have I always been this annoying?
-
Branden: Are you sure you want to exchange our Greg with that other Greg?
Bozak: they're both basically the same....lol...
Ironside: We should just leave him here. No Greg is better than Good Greg.
Bozak: is that a good idea? leaving him here would affect history... the
amount of ot posts would probably quadruple...
Branden: So? We'll just have more SBNs making OT posts just so they can
complain about other OT posts.
Bozak: poor spinnetta is going to have a heart attack....lol... alright...
let's go... we still need to find that idiot troll....
=
Meanwhile back in ASBNLL
Jedi: Don't worry guys. I'll get us out of here.
Bullyo: Bullyo is still waiting.
Jedi: I have a new plan. Watch this. Hey there! You! SBN!
Tyler: Who me?
Jedi: Yeah you! SBN! Let us out of here, ok?
Tyler: Fuck off!
Bullyo: Great idea Jedo!
Jedi: Well I thought a clueless SBN would be stupid enough to let us go.
Jane: Jack, you have any ideas?
Jack: ....all this damage and destruction. This is so wrong.
Bullyo: Get over it, Jacko! The future looks bright. Bullyo predicts with
100% accuracy that the Lakers will never win
another title again!
Jack: I don't even care anymore. I didn't even care when Stackhouse totally
blocked Kobe's shot right at the zenith of his jump.
-
sthomps: Damn. Jack is totally messed up. I have to let him go.
Chris Smith: What? Are you crazy? Are you a bandito or not?
sthomps: Yes but I'm also a member of the JWAC! I just can't deal with my
man Jack being stuck in prison!
Chris: Either you're with the Banditos or with the JWAC. You can't be part
of both. Make your decision.
=
Meanwhile back in the past.
Rob: Looks like we're somewhere in the past.
Spin: Yeah, isn't it great?! Hardly any OT posts!
Rob: What's that over there?
Good Greg: I am a true diehard lakers fan!
Evil Greg: Did you know the Lakers changed their uniforms in the future?
Good Greg: What?! That's it! I hate the Lakers!
Good and Evil Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Spin: TWO Greg Poopers?! This must be the cause of the increase of OT posts!
We better take one of them back with us.
-
Elsewhere.
Vaxio: Dear Ben Johnson. You are doping man for using doping sostance!
Ben: You need to take some english classes.
Vaxio: You need to eat a big vegetables!
Ironside: Hey, what about that guy?
Bozak: he sounds stoopid enough...
Vaxio: Hi my american friends! Italy is teh best and most wonderfoul country
in teh world!
Branden: That settles it! Let's take him!
Bozak: before we go.... there's something i need to do....
Branden: Look Bozak, as tempting as it is to take out Bush, we can't be
altering the timeline!
Bozak: lol... i was thinking the anti-guard... but now that you
mention it...... anyways....we're not altering the timeline.... i just
wanted to meet the infamous coz....
Branden: You're better off not doing so.
Bozak: hey.... are you coz?
Coz: Are you another idiot Laker fan obssessed with me?
SonicsAre1: hahahahahahaha
Bozak: think again...... *PLONK* :-)
SonicsAre1: Hey, let Coz out of the killfile!
Branden: LOL. He looks lost without Coz. Not sure if he can survive without
him. We might as well take him with us.
Bozak: ok time to go back....
=
Back to the present.
Bozak: hey banditos... we have a present for you....
Fletcher: Cool! A new recruit for the Banditos!
SonicsAre1: Thanks guys. I won't let you down. hahahahahahaha
Chris: You're going to have to change that name though. Ain't no Bandito
going to be named SonicsAre1!
SonicsAre1: How about Weber's A Bitch? hahahahahahaha
-
sthomps: I hope the Banditos forgive me but I have to let my man Jack out!
Jedi: Someone's coming.
sthomps: shhhhhhhh. Be quiet. I'm letting you go.
Jack: Why?
sthomps: Jack you TOTALLY can't be wasting away in prison! Usenet SO NEEDS
you!
Jack: Thanks for the support but I'm think I'm overhyped. I may be past my
prime now. I don't even play video games that much anymore and stuff.
sthomps: You have NO IDEA what you're talking about! Jack, you are the MAN!
You're still WAY WAY better than most of the trolls out there!
Jack: Thanks but I don't even use webtv that much anymore now that I have
cable modem.
Jedi: Jack, will you shut up already? Let's go!
-
Branden: Vaxio! We need you to communicate with that idiot troll!
Vaxio: Ok, I'm very very expert at this.
Basketor: Resist are futile. We like you surrender of uncondition.
Vaxio: If you are listening this letter, you are fan of ketchup!
Basketor: I don't have heard this insult before.
Vaxio: You are a tomato! Your favourite fruit is banana!
Basketor: You like oyster dick! If you post were paper, I use to wash ass!
Vaxio: That a surprise! France people don't wash ass! In classific, Italy is
more wonderfoul than France!
Basketor: That is not the true! But you lick my ass would be prime!
Vaxio: Italy is best becouse I stay in this country and am very important
person! I'm very happy to be Italy person!
Basketor: Very exasperate to talk with you. You not speak appropriate.
Vaxio: You write wrong words and that is not wonderfoul mode to comunicate!
Basketor: I speak near of english than you!
Vaxio: You favourite man is Elton John! You as gay as him!
Basketor: That is totally ridicule! Is songs are not singed correct!
Vaxio: How much are you tall? Answer me for that!
Basketor: Why you asked to me this question? I am near of 1.65 metres.
Vaxio: Li sfido ad un gioco di pallacanestro. Uomo della Francia cederete e
perderete all'uomo dell'Italia.
Basketor: La France est un meilleur pays. Nous pas bain ainsi nous sauvons
plus d'eau que l'Italie.
Spin: Where is the universal babblefish translator when you need it?
-
Bozak: they're distracted.. now's our chance to take out that glapbot....
send out the banditos....
Chris: Bandito roll call! Which of my banditos are up in this mother?!
Fletcher: I'm up in this bitch! Where's Brz?
Brz: I'm here. You seen WAB?
WAB: Right here! Where's sthomps? hahahahahahaha
Fletcher: Yeah, where's sthomps?
Chris: Damn, we'll have to go without him.
sthomps: WAIT! I'M HERE!!!!
Chris: Alright we're all here!
Fletcher: Don't forget our bitch Dust!
Dust: i r not part your stoopit group!
Chris: Yeah whatever. BANDITOS!!!! NUESTRA FAMILIA!
-
Vaxio: When France play Italy, the loss very very incredible!
Basketor: You not talk the true! Italy not know how to make the shoot!
Spin: Will you shutup already and do your job? They're attacking!
Basketor: I am apology Vaxio but I have to go!
Vaxio: Bye bye littel France man!
-
VeRacistNews: Uh oh, they're taking out our Glapbot!
Spin: Incompetent cockroaches!
VeRacistNews: Wait. Sensors are detecting troll activity in ASBNLL. It's
Captain Jack!
Spin: Beam them up!
Jedi: We're saved! Hey Spin! Am I glad to see you! Give me a hug you green
blooded Shaq Jocker you!
Spin: Sheet! Get away from me!
Rob: Uh oh. They're launching OT torpedoes at us!
Spin: What? OT torpedoes are illegal in Usenet!
Basketor: They hail us.
Spin: On screen. How dare you violate Usenet rules and use OT torpedoes on
us!
Branden: OT torpedoes aren't illegal.
Spin: Oh yeah? I'll bet you! We'll ask a usenet administrator. Loser leaves
Usenet!
Branden: Go ahead and ask him.
QuiGon: Don't bet him! Wolnut is a scumbag welcher!
Spin: Er really? Forget it! I'm out of here!
Branden: LOL. Yeah go ahead and run from the bet.
Ironside: They're running.
Bozak: let them go... they'll be back... we better fortify our
positions....looney go plunder and pillage the sixers group again...lol...
that'll make glapski mad....banditos go colonize the knicks group....when
they come back... we'll be ready for them....
Fletcher: I guess that means Dick Hutnick is going to be saying goodbye
again.
--
Back at Troll Base 76
Glapski: Youse got RUTS?!
Spin: It wasn't my fault! It's your idiot cadets you gave me!
Glapski: Now without my Glapbot, what are we going to use now?
Spin: Well we did manage to pick up the Gregbot from the past. We can just
use him to spam ASBNLL.
Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Glapski: Good. Now that Jack is back, he will lead the attack.
Jack: I'm retiring from TrollFleet. I just don't have it anymore. I would
rather watch CNN and Discovery Channel now.
Glapski: Damn! I guess I have to rely on Spin again.
Spin: I'm retiring as well. I can't deal with Wolner and Bozak's incessant
OT posting. Not to mention them creating 100 me too posts by LOLing each
other.
Bullyo: Bullyo is retiring as well. Bullyo apologizes he can't make money
for his fans anymore with his famous 100% correct prediction
accuracy rating but Bullyo has a business to run in Mexico and Japan.
Spin: Yeah right. More like your free trial AOL is expiring. What about you
Jane?
Jane: Sweetie, I'm too old for this. My heart can't take any more insults
from the Cyber Street Gang. Besides, I need more time to devote to opera
plus I'm going to be taking french lessons from Basketor.
Glapski: Damn there's nobody left.
Jack: What about Jedi?
Jedi: Damnit Jack, I'm a shark expert not a Trollship captain!
Glapski: You'r too stupidl to be captain. We shall give you the rank of
marshal.
Jedi: Marshall Jedi? Yeah!
Glapski: Thei'rs you'r crew.
Jedi looks over at VeRacist, Jared476, Relativity, and Rob.
Jedi: I don't need any of these guys! Can I command the ship myself?
Glapski: I donut want to babysit them. Thei'r you'rs!
Jedi: It's just that I get jealous when Bozak starts mindfucking other
people. Why does he have to have so many following bitches? Why can't I be
his only bitch?
Jane: Chris sweetie, you already are Denny's number one bitch. Isn't that
enough?
Jedi: Yeah, you're right! None of his bitches has been mindfucked more than
me! Well I guess we better do some scouting. It looks like the Lakers are
winning right now. Are you guys ready to go trolling?
VeRacist: Lakers are winning? No way. We're not ready! I don't want Fletcher
impersonating me!
Jared: Yeah, ASBNLL is too tough for us!
Relativity: Yeah that Felcher guy is scary!
Rob: Wait looks like the Lakers just choked away the lead. They lost!
VeRacist: Really? Yeah we're ready! Let's go kick their ass! Kobe sucks!
Jared: Yeah, we'll show them! They're the worst newsgroup since 79!
Relativity: Yeah fuck you Felcher!
Jedi: *sigh* Set a course for ASBNLL. Prepare to get our asses kicked.
