Whose Troll Is It Anyway?
Jason: Welcome to Whose Troll is it Anyway, the show where everything is made up and the points don't matter. That's right. The points are like Chuck's 3 stars. At the end of the show, I'll pick and winner who gets to do a little something special with me. [g] Jedi: Pick me! Pick me! Jason: Now let's go to a game called Songstyles. Hello. What's your name? [g] Jane: CycloneJane. Jason: What do you do for a living? [g] Jane: I'm a condescending bitch. Jason: Come on down. Now Mal is going to sing a song to you in the style of the Beach Boys. [g] Mal: Well Celtic girls like Stephanie, are really really stupid And the way she follows Fletcher around, she probably got shot by Cupid. Bozak's mom the Dog Woman, really needs to be a Laker fan No more rooting for the Blazers, or we'll have to ban both her and Dan. I wish they all can be condescending I wish they all can be condescending I wish they all can be condescending bitches Now Jane only follows the Lakers, because she really likes Rick Fox But because of her age and her poor condition, she'll soon be out in a box Jane is really old, and she will be needing a brand new heart Saving money for the operation not buying Kobe's products, hey at least it's a start I wish they all can be condescending I wish they all can be condescending I wish they all can be condescending bitches Jason: Now let's play a game called Let's make a date. This is for all 4 contestants. Jedi will be taking part in a dating game and he can only choose from these 3 participants who will be given a strange personality and it is up to Jedi to guess who they are. [g] Jedi: Bachelor #1, I like men who aren't afraid of swimming with sharks. How would you impress me? Mal (Fisher trying to run around a screen): Well, first I'd use my humongous lips to scare away any sharks. If that doesn't work, I'd try running into them and...... WHAT! That wasn't a foul! You need your eyes examined! I wasn't flopping! Jedi: I like big lips. Bachelor #2, I'm a bandwagoner myself. Would you consider yourself a bandwagoner? Branden (Al Wilson): No way! I lettered in lacrosse at USC! The Wizards are a force in the NBA! Ask Bill Walton, he agrees with me! Go Yankees! Jedi: Sounds like my type of guy! Bachelor #3, I enjoy being a following bitch. How would you tempt me to follow you around? Rob (stuck inside a killfile): Help!!!!!! I'll gladly follow you around if you let me out! Someone let me out of here! I really didn't mean it when I said the Blazers would beat the Lakers in 6! That was the RJT at work! Jason: Ok Jedi, you have any idea who they might be? [g] Jedi: #1 is Shamu? #2 is obviously some bandwagoner who follows around teams like the Yankees or Rangers. And #3 is someone stuck in my home? Jason: Now let's play a game called Film and Theater styles. This game is for Rob and Branden. I need some suggestions from the audience. [g] Kobe's Team: Scanners! Jack: WWF! Ironside: Swedish Porn! Jason: Ok, the scene is, Rob you're Obi-Wan Kenobi and Branden, you're Luke Skywalker. I'll buzz you in with some different styles. Take it away. [g] Rob: Luke, you don't need to watch the games in order to comment on them. Just use the force. Branden: You mean your gut intuition? Rob: Well, yeah, that too. That and Sportscenter. Watching Sportscenter is far more reliable than watching the entire game. Branden: But master, sportscenter highlights are only a couple minutes. The games are over 2 hours. Rob: That's where your gut intuition comes in. Use your "gut" to fill in the gaps. Branden: Sure whatever. Bzzzzztttt. Jason: WWF [g] Branden: What? Rob: Luke, you must listen to me or I will lay the smackdown on your candyass! Afterall, I coached the highest scoring team in the country. If you smeeeeeeeeelllllllll what the Rob....... is cooking! Branden: What? Bzzztttt.. Jason: Swedish Porn. [g] Rob: You dropped the soap. Branden: Fucking asshole! Rob: Yeah, that's what I want to be doing! Branden: Not mine you're not! Jedi: Do me! Do me! Bzzzzztttt.
