Jack White FAQ v1.0
1. Who is Jack White? 2. What is Jack's email address? 3. What is Webtv? 4. Is it true that all Webtv users don't own computers? 5. Why does Jack obsess over vertical leap? 6. What is the NBA dunk contest? 7. Who is Hubie Brown? 8. Who is Paul Wight? 9. Why does Jack obsess over Paul Wight? 10. Why does Jack always run his "what if" scenarios? 1. Who is Jack White? Jack White is a webtv troll who has the unique ability to pick a topic that nobody cares about and then proceed to endlessly rant about it. 2. What is Jack's email address? Other than his regular email, he uses a few others as well. Jackster2@webtv.net SteveS22@webtv.net (sometimes he likes to pretend he's Steve Smith) CYBERSAMMYX@prodigy.net Cutebabe18@webtv.net (Jill Smith, when he wants to be female) jackwhite@my-Deja.com 3. What is Webtv? Webtv is a device used by adolescents whose parents are unwilling to buy them a computer. 4. Is it true that all Webtv users don't own computers? According to Jack, no. In Jack's own words, "Stop stereotyping ALL webtv users as dirt poor, living in a trailer park, and not having computers." In fact, Jack claims to own 3 computers and has images to back them up.Jack's Computer
Jack's 2nd Computer
5. Why does Jack obsess over vertical leap? Well, Jack claims his brother is an incredible athlete with major hops. Most likely after failing to dunk a basketball, Jack was ridiculed and has since devoted his life to improving his vertical leap and being overly critical of everyone else's jumping abilities. Currently, Jack claims to have a 28" vertical and 32" one step jump but as always, he is working very hard at increasing his vertical leap. 6. What is the NBA dunk contest? According to Jack, the winner of the NBA dunk contest determines who the best player in the league is. 7. Who is Hubie Brown? According to Jack, all NBA Player's listed heights are all incorrect and that Hubie Brown is the definitive source of actual players height. 8. Who is Paul Wight? Paul Wight is a WWF superstar who Jack obsesses over. Jack has constantly praised Paul Wight for simply being a huge 7'4" 500 pounds. In Jack's own words, "He's VERY AGILE and quick for a man of his size. he's FASTER, QUICKER, and MORE AGILE than Sabonis even though he dwarfs Sabonis. Paul WOULD DO A GREAT JOB guarding Shaq. Shaq would NEVER be able to get deep positioning in the paint the way Shaq does with little guys. Paul Wight is a VERY DEVASTATING FORCE OF NATURE. At 7'4" and OVER a QUARTER TON, he's the LARGEST NATURAL PRIMATE IN NORTH AMERICA." Here's a picture of Paul Wight.Paul Wight
9. Why does Jack obsess over Paul Wight? Most likely, when Jack was younger, he was beaten up by boys much bigger than he. Since then he has obsessed over Paul Wight, wishing he could be as big and strong as Paul so that he could one day exact revenge on the bullies who picked on him. 10. Why does Jack always run his "what if" scenarios? Everything that Jack isn't, he wishes he could've, should've, would've been IF so and so had happened. IF Jack had a higher vertical leap, no one would have made fun of him. IF he were as big as Paul Wight, he would've beaten everyone up. So when Jack starts one of his "what if" scenarios, you'll understand why he does it.
