Serious epidemic hits Philly NG
Serious epidemic hits Philly NG
Philadelphia (AP)-- Over the past week, Sixer fans have been disappearing one by
one from the Sixer NG. The cause? The Laker Plague. Not only is the population
of the Sixer NG decreasing but the fans themselves are suffering from mass
depression and if that wasn't bad enough, many are becoming suicidal. At first
it was thought that the Laker Plague also caused the Sixer fans irrational and
classless behavior but it was discovered that this behaviour is actually innate
among Sixer fans. Symtoms usually start with the heart rate increasing ten-fold
as Sixer fans irrationally yell "Beat LA, Beat LA!" Other symptons include alot
of whining and crying for no apparent reason. Should you suffer any of these
symptons, please visit your local doctor's office immediately.
Meanwhile, everyone in Philadelphia have been desperately trying to find a cure
to this deadly plague, the worst since the Black Death. Sixer guard Allen
Iverson has suggested if they build enough brick houses and lock everyone in,
they might be able to avoid this nasty epidemic. "We can only survive this
epidemic with our hearts, you know?", said Iverson. "Ain't no Laker Plague going
to walk all over us, ain't going to happen, cuz we got heart, you know? Everyone
thinks the plague will just come in and dominate us? We going to put that plague
in a war, you know? Cuz we got heart, you know?"
Fortunately this disease is not contagious and only seems to affect Sixer fans.
But nonetheless, we would advise avoiding any contact with Sixer fans. Sixer
fans have been known to spit on you like they did with Rick Fox. Or they might
attempt to stalk and harass you like they did with Tyronn Lue. Obviously this is
a dangerous species.