Asbnll announces new reality based show
(Jedi and Jason Green also contributed to this) Los Angeles (Reuters) - Asbnll has announced that a new reality based Usenet show will be premiering this summer on the Asbnll newsgroup. The show, to be called Big Troller, will involve placing 12 unemployed trolls in a house full of computers and internet access where the contestants will spend all day wasting their time trolling Asbnll. Each week, a troll will be voted off until eventually there is only one troll left. The winner will be rewarded a full time job as Asbnll's resident troll. The rest of the trolls will have to wait in line at the unemployment office. The contestants selected are as follows: Jack White, Jedi Boy, Spinhead, Cyclone Jane, Chrsan, Faiz Kalyani, Bullyo, Coz, Judden, King Tut, J. Tolstoy, and Czilla. Though Asbnll is the highest rated NBA NG, ratings have been sagging and Asbnll executives hope that the new show will help improve ratings. "This gives our viewers a glimpse into the pathetic lives of some of these trollers.", said S_Knight, programming director of Asbnll. "People will be interested in seeing how trolls live their daily lives." In addition, Asbnll has announced the remaining fall lineup. Monday 8pm: The Jack White Comedy Hour 9pm: Learning Real Audio: With Spinhead 10pm: American Story: Profiling Rick and his sad demise at the hands of an all consuming Jake La Motta complex 3am: Seemingly endless OT political posts Tuesday 8pm: The Odd Couple (starring Jedi and Ben) 9pm: Big Troller 10pm: Planning for retirement with Jeff Mayner 11pm: Retrospective: cyclonjane's eerie predictions that Rick Fox is gone while Glen Rice will remain a Laker Wednesday 8pm: The Dog Show with Laurel 9pm: Cyber Street Gang, hosted by Jane - Profiling the Gang members and their daily lives. 10pm: When Animals Attack: Underwater Edition. Resident shark expert Ben Johnson explains why he will never go swimming in the surf again Thursday 8pm: Sportscenter with Faiz Kalyani 9pm: Mindfucked with Bozak 10pm: Bozak, the real story - special report by laurel 11pm: News Bulletin - ironside drove home within the speed limit and some kid said hi to him on the street Friday 8pm: Jackster and Ironside's Porno reviews 9pm: Lakers Prediction Contest 10pm: Where are they now? - s_knight remembers Jack White 11pm: Real Sex - perverts who prefer inanimate objects, featuring Chrsan 11:30pm: The Tonight Show with Jason Green. Saturday 8pm: Sharkin' with Laurance - Laurance as Jacques Costeau. Episode 1, Jedi sneaks aboard Laurance's boat in his quest to kill off sharks to extinction. Can Laurance stop him in time? 10pm: Tales of a Frontrunner: An auotbiograhical insight into Jedi boy, one of this country's most successful and infamous professional bandwagoners. But it isn't all fame, fortune and women, as we find out, and the young Jedi gives a startling insight into the public ridicule and personal shame which goes hand in hand with his profession that has transformed his life into a living hell. 10:30pm Celebrity Homes: This week, we take a peek inside Cyclone Jane's home in Iowa. Can Rick Fox posters really be found in every room of her house? Sunday 8pm: Larry Coon Live: Larry's guest this week will be Mark Cuban. 9pm: Crossfire with Bozak, Branden, Greg, and Viker. 10pm: Sharkin' with Laurance - Episode 2. Jedi reveals his real motivation is to try and make the waters safe for his pal Ben, but after realising Ben is just a big nancy boy who wets his pants at the very thought of swimming in ocean, sharks or no sharks, events take a turn for the worse. 11pm: Asbnll Crossfire. Larry and Dimitri discuss the intricacies of the salary cap and racial diversity. 2am: Cookin' With Chris - Chris Chandler will teach you how to slow cook goose liver pate using only the ambient heat from a computer monitor.
