Phil Jackson vs. Osama Bin Laden
Phil: Thanks for meeting with me. Bin Laden: Death to the infidels! All praise to Allah! Phil: Let go of the hate and join me as we meditate. Let us join together in a melding of minds. Peace, love, harmony.... Bin Laden: Allah has ordered me to declare Holy War! He is your only salvation! Submit to Allah and renounce all your false gods! Phil: I can see this is going to take awhile. I should have done this earlier but I was hoping you and America would be able to work out your differences by yourselves. Bin Laden: You Americans are the ones playing in my sandbox in Saudi Arabia! Phil: Yeah ok. Now Osama, let us continue. Bin Laden: Hold on. I need to pray to Allah. Allah, please shield me from the evil U.S. cruise missiles! Please continue to allow me to live in luxary while the rest of Afghanistan suffers. All praise to Allah! Phil: Feel better now? Bin Laden: Yes. Your destruction is near. This has already been prophesized! As it has been told.... Phil: Hold on. I got a phone call. Hello? Jeanie: Hey Phil, what you doing? Phil: Oh nothing. Just checking out your Playboy photos. Jeanie: Can't get enough of me, can you? Phil: Yeah baby. I want you right now! Jeanie: So want to go to the movies tonight? Phil: How about we go to my place? Bin Laden: Hurry up! I need to go soon before they track me down! Phil: Hey baby, I gotta go. Look Osama, you need to learn patience. Relax your mind, look within your inner soul, and... Bin Laden: Hold on. I need to pray again. Allah, please allow women to pose in Playboy! All praise to Allah! Phil: Done? Good. Here, read this book, "How to be a good citizen for Dummies". Bin Laden: I am a good citizen! Convert to Islam and you shall be saved! Think of it. You'll be able to have multiple wives and your enemies shall serve you in paradise! Phil: Hmm.... that's very tempting. But why would I want to pray to Allah when I'm already a god? Bin Laden: You have a bigger ego than I do!
