"Yo! Yo just a Toof Fereh! Unhh, unhh..."
--The Tooth Fairy, Zoot Salem

For those of you that don't know it yet, Graham Joyce's The Tooth Fairy is my favorite book in the whole wide world. I just read it again today, and more than any other book it embodies what I said here. If you haven't read it, please do. I'm begging you.

On that note, on to more serious journaling. Or less, as the case may be.

I have discovered the greatest question ever posed to the human race. Once answered, a person's life becomes infinitely better in any situation. It's true. The question: Where do you put your hands? Think about it for a second. Walking with someone you like, do you hold their hand? Put your arm around them? Hand in pocket? At your side? Where do you put them when you talk to someone? How does it change when you're sitting down? When you're trying to sleep next to someone, where do you put the other arm? Lay on it? Slide it under them? Move it behind you? I can't dance because I don't know what to do with my hands. The questions just keep coming, and the hands just don't know what to do.

Next stop, peoples' diaries and journals. Half of my friends have a site on diaryland or livejournal, a few on deadjournal. Another few use personal sites like this one. Lately though, I've noticed a disturbing trend among these people. More and more of them are posting things like "I'm thinking of getting rid of this site because all of these people are reading it and learning how I feel."

*Pause for that to sink in*

Does that make as little sense to you as it does to me? Early on I pointed out the fact that all of this writing was for my benefit. And that's still true. But the reason I have it all online - where people can see it if they want - is so people can see it if they want. Doesn't take a genius to figure out that this was the whole point. So for those of you who this section is about, do us all a favor. Go down to Borders, get a blank book, and keep a journal. It's that simple. I'm not going to keep checking your site if you don't make the slightest effort to open up on it. And if you're not going to post anything worth reading because you're afraid of who will see it...

Like I said, just get off the fucking internet. You're wasting our bandwith.

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