Goddamn. Goddamn it all. As you can tell, I stopped the last one. More important stuff came up.
I’m lowering my medication – It’s not doing anything useful, but now I’m feeling worse every day. But I DON’T want to go back on that stuff. I realy don’t. I hate the way I am. I hate how cold I am, how uncaring I am. But that’s the way I am, short of changing it through drugs.
But am I really that cold if it makes me feel so terrible?
I mean, if I’m guilty about all this, doesn’t that mean I care?
Doesn’t it?