"In the forest... is a monster... it has done... terrible things... "
--Who Will Love Me Now, PJ Harvey
You read the first part here, I hope.
She's visiting for just one night, sleeping up there this time.
Pain in stomach bad. Oh my god is it bad.
I went up to deliver the Christmas present from Sam. Maybe I'm just a masochist. Wayde warning me away from the room certainly hurt enough. Just in case, slamming my fist into the wall hurt a little bit extra.
Jealous, afraid of losing her, angry that I feel that way at all... I have no right to feel that way.
In the loft above my head sleeps my girlfriend.
And I gave up doing stuff with Sasha for this girl, and right now I so wish I hadn't.
The problem is that I'm not sure why.
I don't know if its because of how I feel, or just the jealousy and wanting what I can't have.
Fuck.
Go download that song. The whole thing should be up there.
I want to curl up. I might on the floor. Not next to her. She doesn't deserve me doing that. That's the worst part - if she wasn't involved, I could just deal with the pain. But instead I'm gonna wind up hurting her.
I like her, I really do. But that's not the same thing at all.
In the forest is a monster - and it looks so very much like me.