Difference?

I'm just a little bit self-destructive today.
I've been worse.
On a good day I can kill myself;
I have before, you know.
Didn't you see? Didn't you hear or smell
The lack of blood,
In my body,
On my hands?
I didn't do it,
Don't blame me;
It’s not my fault that I'm not dead
And haven't killed.
Which is which?
Which to do, do you think?
Or do you think at all, you piece of shit?
I'll just kill you,
Kill myself.
What's the difference anyway,
Or is there one?

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