After Such A Love As This

Part Two

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When I woke up I was alone. Funny, I thought, I’m sure Keith was here last night! I called out for him but he didn’t answer. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I heard running water as I got to the door and realised he must be in the shower. I opened the door ever so slowly and poked my head round the corner and sure enough, there he was, singing to himself. I giggled and wolf whistled as loudly as I could at him. He jumped almost out of his skin and turned round, covering himself with a strategically placed sponge. He heaved a sigh of relief when he saw it was me.

“Gawd, I fort you was one o’ them maids cam to ‘ave a look at me!” he almost shouted, dropping the sponge on the floor. I smiled and walked up to him.

“You know, it’s a waste of water if we both got showers separately isn’t it?” I asked. He pondered this for a second and nodded. “Hmm. Thought so. You think it would be more economic if I got in too?” I inquired, raising an eyebrow. He grinned and nodded again. “Hmm. Thought so,” I repeated and let my dressing gown slip to the floor as I got in with him. There wasn’t much room in there (it was one of those cubicle things) so we had to squidge up together. Very cosy! I washed his hair for him and he looked so cute as he scrunched his face up when he thought soap was getting into his eyes. I think it may have been the longest shower we’d both had in our whole lives! I would’ve got out sooner it’s just he kissed my neck again…

We finally, after about three quarters of an hour, got out of our room, hand-in-hand, looking like love personified. We met up with the guys in the hotel foyer and checked out. Tonight we were staying in Edinburgh, Scotland, the home of the sexiest accent on earth! Apparently we were going to stay in a castley type hotel, you know the ones? So I was really excited.

“Can you do a Scottish accent, Moonie?” I asked him, hopefully. He concentrated for a second and then shook his head.

“Wew, not really, jast when I saiy ‘Scortlund’ laik ‘at, and fings. Not a proper one,” he told me. I shrugged, disappointed.

“Not to worry, your cockney one is just as sexy,” I assured him. He was satisfied with that and gave me a tight squeeze. We got out into the street and Roger wondered if he should go and try to get some shopping in. Everyone decided that this would be a good idea, The Who didn’t really get mobbed that often.

I strolled down the street with Keith, not saying a word, because I didn’t want to break the silent magic that had descended upon us. I didn’t need to, he did. He turned to me.

“’Ev, ya knaw yesterday?” he asked, “when you towd me ‘at you lav me?” I nodded. “Did ya mean it? Proply mean it?” I gazed at him lovingly.

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it, sweetheart,” I promised him.

He half smiled at me.

“Good. Because I lav you too. An’ ‘is taim, I mean it. Not laik when I towd aw those avvah gels, it’s diffrunt ‘is taim. There’s laik, a proper sammink between as, in’t there? Can’t quait discraib it, bat it’s jast ‘ere, innit?” he explained. He was never big on speeches, and sweet talking was something he never ever did. He was the most blunt and to the point man I’d ever met, so I knew that whatever he said, he meant it, from the heart.

I melted. Not literally, but you know what I mean. There were no words I could use in reply, I just smiled and gave him a look that said, “I know what you mean,” and kissed him. Even after all the kisses we’d shared during the past two weeks, my heart still pounded every time he touched me or kissed me.

“I can feel your heart beatin’ ‘Ev,” he murmured into my ear. I trembled and he held me more tightly in case I fell. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and for reasons unbeknownst to me or Keith, I cried softly into his shoulder. He panicked.

“Wotsa mattah babe?” he asked, concerned. I couldn’t answer, I was overcome with emotion. “Was it sammink I said?” I nodded. He cradled me gently in his arms until I’d calmed down. Then I looked up at him with tear stained eyes, smiling a watery smile at him.

“I’ve never been so happy in all my life, and the first thing I do is cry! What’s wrong with me?!” I asked, shakily, quoting Monkee scripts again. I vaguely hoped he’d say, “Well, you’re rude, irritable, impolite, mean…..” like in the episode Find The Monkees (The Audition), but he didn’t.

“’Er’s naffink wrong wiv you, dahlin’. You’w ‘e most beautifuw, lavely, sweet yang gel I’ve evah ‘ad the priverlige o’ knowin’. And at’s why I lav you,” he informed me. My eyes filled with tears again.

“You said the wrong thing!” I joked, knowing he really wouldn’t have a clue what I meant. He grinned.

“Ah, you mean you wannid me ta saiy, ‘wew, you’w rude, irritabuw, impolait, mean….” he asked. I was shocked. He’d seen that episode!

“You saw that episode?!” I asked him.

“Cowse I did! I lav ‘at one! When Miss Chamsky sings ‘a feem tune ta Bensun’s noo show!” he replied. I nearly fell over, I was so impressed!

“Yeah! And then Peter runs off to the South Seas!” I continued.

“I’m not rannin’ nowhere!” called a voice. Pete came up to us. We waved and smiled as he got up to us. Pete saw my red eyes and glared at Keith.

“Wot’ve you bin saiyin’ ta ‘Ev, Moonie? I fort you was s’posed ta be ‘er boyfriend, and naw you’w maikin’ ‘er cry! Wot kind if an ‘orribuw git are ya?” he demanded, angrily. Keith shook his head.

“I towd ‘er I lav ‘er, and she was so ‘appy, she stawted bawlin’ ‘er ayes art inna midduw o’ tha street!” he answered. I nodded to verify his response. Pete’s face softened and he grinned broadly.

“Aw, I’m so ‘appy fow ya bowf!” he congratulated us, sincerely. “You maik a lavely cappuw!” I was touched by this because I knew how hard Pete found it to get a girl. Until I met Keith, I was exactly the same, I’d never had a boyfriend. I filled up again.

“Thanks, Pete, that really means a lot to me. To both of us,” I stammered, trying to retain some decorum. Keith nodded his agreement. Pete ran off to join the other two. I stared after him.

“Bless his little cotton socks!” I cooed. Keith looked at me, confused.

“Why? Wot’s sow special abaht ‘is socks?!” he inquired, wondering if I knew something he didn’t about Pete’s socks. I burst out laughing.

“No, you pillock!” I scolded, elbowing him in the ribs. “I know he finds it difficult to pull, and I really know how he feels,” and I proceeded to tell him about me never having had a boyfriend before. He looked shocked.

“So, ya nevah…?” he began. I shook my head. “You nevah even kissed ennyone?” he continued, incredulously. I frowned.

“No, I haven’t. Why, what’s wrong with that?” I inquired defensively. “Naffink! Naffink at aw! It’s jast you seemed as though you awready ‘ad. Jast surpraisd, ‘at’s aw.” he explained. I shrugged.

“Probably just comes naturally!” I concluded. He agreed.

“Are ya bovvahed ‘at I’ve ‘ad gelfriends befow?” he asked me. I shook my head.

“That was all in the past, you’re with me now, that’s all that counts.” I told him. I think he saw my point.

We met up with the others some time later, all of us having bought something. Moonie, shockingly enough, had bought a bottle of very expensive brandy “for the journey”. I’d bought the latest Beatles album, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts’ Club Band (What?!? I like The Beatles!!). Roger had forked out on some expensive aftershave which even I had to admit smelled gorgeous. Pete had purchased a new set of strings for his guitar and John had bought eight little, I couldn’t tell what they were.

“Shoes for Boris,” he told me. I was taken aback.

“You can buy spider shoes?!” I asked, shocked. He shook his head.

“Nah, ya soft sod!” he teased. “Ear plags for as fow when Keef plaiys ‘is drams,” he explained. “I fink we need ‘em!” Moonie pretented to be offended at that remark and I offered to kiss the hurt better.

“Okay,” he agreed, “it’s jast ‘ere,” he told me, pointing to his neck. I kissed it gently for him. “OH! I see wot you mean abaht ‘at!” he almost squeaked. I giggled. Roger rolled his eyes.

“I dispear at you two,” he declared. Keith glared angrily at him.

“Why’s ‘at? ‘Cos she nevah said ‘no’ ta me, bat she won’t ‘ave a bar o’ you? Is ‘at it?” he growled, furious. Roger stared at him, almost frightened.

“Yeah,” he answered, plucking up the courage to have a go at him. “It is. She’s the only one ‘oo ‘asn’t given inta me in mah laif, an’ it das me ‘ead in ‘at she’s ownly ‘appy wiv you. I mean, wot do you ‘ave to offer ‘er wot I down’t ‘ave?” he demanded. I could see that Moonie was dying to knock him out, so I decided to answer for myself. I gripped Keith’s arm tightly so he couldn’t hit Roger (as much as I disliked the guy, I hate seeing people fight) and spoke up.

“Love. Pure and simple love. And by that I do not mean just a quick shag. I mean that feeling I get whenever I’m with him, and that emptiness I feel when I’m not. And the little things he does for me, and the big things too. The way my heartbeat goes whenever he touches me or holds me close to him. The way whenever I look into his eyes just after I kiss him I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven. The fact that he loves me too. That’s what you can’t offer me, and that’s why I’m not interested in you, and that is why I’m only happy with him.” When I finished, I saw that I had reduced all four of them to tears. I grinned. I wasn’t an English student for nothing! I could do emotive writing and speaking! I slipped my hand into Keith’s, and he squeezed me lovingly. Roger gazed at me, astounded.

“I fort fings and feelings laik ‘at only ixsistid in fairy stowries,” he admitted. I shrugged. When people start talking to me properly and opening up, I soften to them, and this was happening now with Roger, he didn’t seem so bad after all.

“So did I, until Keith came along. You’ll feel that way about someone one day, Rog, I promise. And so will you, Pete, if anyone deserves to, it’s you. And John, whoever you end up loving more than Boris will be a very lucky girl!” I told him, grinning cheekily. Everyone laughed, it was so true! John doted on that spider, anyone else who came along would either be second best or John would treat her like royalty!

We were about to have a group hug but realised people were already looking at us strangely so we decided against the idea. Instead we made our way to the tour bus, got inside and made ourselves comfortable. It was a long way to Edinburgh from Leeds and travelling always did my head in. Five minutes after we set off I sighed.

“Are we nearly there yet?” I asked, hopefully. John burst out laughing.

“Nah, o’ cowse we ain’t! Ya prat, ‘is ain’t a magic bas!” he reprimanded me. I was always under the impression that it was and for him to tell me that it wasn’t just entirely disillusioned me! I fidgeted in my seat, bored out of my brains. I wondered if I should start playing I Spy, and began, “I spy with my little eye, something beginning with…………. R!” Everyone rolled their eyes.

“You ‘at bored awready?” asked Pete in mock disgust.

“Yep,” I replied and started twiddling my thumbs. Roger piped up.

“Is it Rogah?” he asked hopefully. I shook my head.

“Guess again,” I told him.

“Uhhhh, rain?” he suggested, looking at the newly opened heavens. I shrugged and nodded.

“Yep, your go!” I informed him. Keith moaned.

“Aw, ‘Ev! Cat it art, wiw ya?! Shawly you can amuse yoursewf by doing sammink avvah ‘an I Spaiy!” he begged me. I pondered this for a second.

“Like what?” I asked him. He shrugged.

“I dunno, you’w tha clevah one! You fink a sammink,” he told me, giving up too quickly. Disappointed in his lack of imagination, I frowned and was silent for a few minutes.

“Anyone got a pad and a pen?” I asked, finally. Pete grinned.

“I’m a songwriter, wot jew fink?” he answered, handing me over the requested items.

“Great. Thanks babe. Now everyone, don’t disturb me, I’ll be writing poetry for a while!” I ordered. Keith looked at me, impressed.

“I din’t knaw you wrote poems, ‘Ev!” he exclaimed.

“There’s a few things you don’t know about me Moonie,” I returned.

“Oh yeah? Laik wot?” he inquired. I whispered something unrepeatable to him.

“REALLY?! That’ll cam in ‘andy one day!” he exclaimed. I giggled and snuggled into him, picked up the pen and started scribbling.

Hours passed, and I’d filled the pad up, with some poetry and with some scribbling. You know when you’re bored and you just draw hearts and flowers and boxes for no reason? That kind of thing. Moonie looked over my shoulder.

“Mmm, interesting,” he teased. “Is ‘is are you nowmally wrait poems?” I turned to him.

“I get bored half way through and doodle a bit,” I explained. He nodded, not wishing for any further conversation on the matter.

“You look taired babe,” he told me. I looked up from my doodling.

“I am a bit,” I admitted. He put his arm around me.

“Ya can gow asleep on me if ya wan’,” he offered. I accepted the offer gratefully and slept for about an hour. When I woke up I saw that he too had fallen asleep and he looked so sweet I didn’t want to wake him. So I didn’t move, just closed my eyes again.

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AAAHHH!! I was in Scotland! In Edinburgh! I was sooooo excited! I practically danced out of the tour bus and into the auditorium, dragging Keith with me.

“’Ang on a minute, ‘Ev! I’ve gotta saign SAM ortagrahfs!” he protested, wriggling from my grasp. I let go of him and skipped away, followed closely by Roger who was also excited about being in Scotland. I grabbed his hand and we got into the auditorium pretty quickly. I didn’t notice the glares I got from his adoring fans, I thought they’d realise we were just newly made friends, cos, you know how there’s a difference when you look at two people who are just friends and two people who are going out with each other, like body language and everything? I thought they’d realise that.

“I’m in Scotland, Rog!” I exclaimed, happily.

“Och, ‘cowrse we are, me wee lassie. You’re lookin’ raight bonny tonaight!” he told me in his best Scottish accent. Now, I don’t think I ever actually told him what Scottish accents do to me so I just tried to ignore it, and giggled. Keith, John and Pete quickly followed in. Rog and I were buzzing for some entirely unknown reason. I put it down to love and being in Scotland, he put it down to finding some nice Scottish girls in the next-door bar!

“We’re lait,” Pete declared, looking at his watch. The rest of us rolled our eyes. We knew what that meant. For them it meant loads of rushed sound checks and rehearsals, for me it meant hanging around doing naff all for a few hours. I shrugged.

“Not to worry, I’ll find something to do!” I assured them, smiling broadly. Keith took hold of my arm.

“Wanna ‘ave a gaw o’ me drams?” he asked me. How very romantic! I thought to myself, but as I quite fancied the idea, I agreed. It was really funny, I remembered what Micky Dolenz had said about the art of drumming and I was being very gentle with them, but Moonie got annoyed and took the drumsticks off me.

“Nah, you’re bein’ too soft on ‘em! ‘Is is ‘are ya play ‘e drams!” he informed me and set about playing a short riff which was astounding, not to mention hilarious! He was twirling the sticks about like a mad thing, banging his head, beating the hell out of the drums. I giggled rapturously and applauded him when he’d finished.

“That was fantastic!” I told him. He nodded.

“I know,” he replied, matter-of-factly. I didn’t take this as him being conceited, he just knew he was good at it and wasn’t going to play himself down. I thought that was one of his best qualities.

After a few more sound checks and rehearsals, it was time for them to go. I gave Moonie a long, lingering kiss and didn’t want him to leave me. He didn’t want to go either, but after being quite literally prised apart from me, he went off to play.

I knew exactly what to expect from that night’s gig, it was the same as last night’s. so even though I still enjoyed it, I was impatient for it to finish. When it did, the same happened as the night before, we hung around backstage, got back into the bus, went to our hotel.

I was too excited to sleep. I was up quite literally all night chattering away to Moonie about being in Scotland. He was on a high as well and so all we did was talk until about five in the morning. We shared a bottle of whisky together as we talked. Well, I say shared, I had about two glasses out of a bottle, but they were HUGE measures! I was totally out of the game by five. And then we just slept until about nine o’clock, woke up, got showered, went downstairs for our breakfast and then we were on the road again. It carried on that way for two months and then their tour had finished. I was so bored by the end of it, we didn’t actually get to SEE anywhere properly, we just drove through on our way. I must say though, I went to EVERY service station in the UK, I’m sure of it!

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So, finally the boys could go back home, and I got to sleep in a proper bed, have my breakfast cooked by John and Pete, argue with Roger about what to watch on TV and drink brandy with Moonie. I felt so at home with them, they’d become a second family to me. John was like my dad, all serious and brooding, Pete was like my mum, forever fussing over me. Roger was like my little brother, a right pain in the neck, but I still loved the bones of him, and Keith? Hahaha, well, Keith was my husband of course! I wished I could stay with them forever but I knew that I’d soon have to leave them.

“Do you really have to go?” I was asked every day for the last two weeks of my stay. I’d always have to answer ‘yes’. It really hurt to have to say it, but I did have to go home. I didn’t want to, but I knew my family would be missing me, so I had to. The last week of my stay was terrible, I got so weepy and emotional over everything. I even told Boris I’d miss him!

“I’ve never lived with a spider before, and I know we got off to a bad start, but I-I-I-I-‘ll rea-a-a-a-allly, m-m-m-iss ya Boris!” I wept, sat beside his cage. John walked in on me and put his arm around me.

“Down’t warry, ‘Ev, ‘e knaws ya’ll miss ‘im, an’ e’ll miss you too,” he told me gently. I looked up at him.

“And to think I was so nasty to him when we first met! And now I’ll never see him again!” I moaned softly. John shook his head.

“Down’t be dahft! Cowse you’ll see ‘im again! I’w pahsonlly see to it! I’w send ‘im over wiv Moonie next manf if ya laik. Keep Moonie bat remember ta send Boris back!” he tried to joke. I smiled gratefully at his attempt. Just then, Moonie came bounding in, all full of the joys of spring.

“’Iyah! I’m ‘owm! Are….. ‘Ev? Wotsa mattah?” he stopped short, worried about me.

“I’m leaving in five days and I don’t want to!” I sobbed.

“Wew, staiy ‘en,” he replied.

“It’s not that easy, Moonie,” I tried to explain, “You see, my family, they probably really miss me, and I kinda miss them a little bit too so I’ve got to go back.” He shrugged.

“Wew, ya knaw ‘are I feew abaht it, an’ if ya cahn’t do it, ‘en down’t warry,” he retorted, nonchalantly, and walked out into the kitchen. I was hurt by that, it seemed as though he didn’t care about me at all. I started crying again. John cuddled me and then excused himself and joined Moonie in the kitchen.

“Aw, naice one, Moonie, ya prat!” John told him, sarcasm dripping from each word.

“Wot? Wot did I saiy?” he asked, confused.

“Naw she finks ya down’t care wevvah she staiys or not, ya big soft sod! Why’d ya ‘aff ta gow an’ say ‘at fow?” John answered, getting annoyed. Keith rolled his eyes.

“Bat she knaws ‘at I lav ‘er! I awreddy towd ‘er when we was in Leeds!” he protested. John’s mouth fell open.

“You mean ta tew me ‘at you ain’t towd ‘at gel ‘at you lav ‘er in two manfs?” he asked, hardly daring to believe it.

“Wew, yeah. Why?” came the confused reply.

“MOONIE! Gels ‘aff ta be towd more’n once ‘are ya feew abaht ‘em, ews they fink ya only wannid ‘em for one fing!” John explained, exasperated.

“Dawn’t be soft!” Moonie exclaimed.

“Wew, pat it ‘is waiy, ‘as she evvah towd you she lavs you since Leeds?” John inquired.

“Yeah, awmost every daiy,” he answered, starting to see what John meant. “I’ve treated ‘er badly, ‘a’n’ I?” he asked, knowing the answer. He decided to do something about it. He walked over to me, still sat crying on the bed. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. I didn’t look up or stop crying.

“’Ev, I’m really sorry if I apset ya, I din’t mean ta. An’ I’m gunnah maik it ap to ya, promise! I’w taik ya aht fow tea tanaight an’ ‘en we’w go the flicks, an’ en we can gow aht dahncin’ samwhere ow avvah if ya laik. An’, er, I really lav you ya knaw.” he promised me, trying his best to make me feel better. I knew he was really crap at apologies and this was the best I’d ever get off him.

“I know. And I love you too. But we’ll never see each other again! And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love anyone else the way I love you, Moonie. And…” my eyes filled up again, “I’d love to come out with you tonight, but can we see the new Beatles film?” I asked, my eyes managing to glint through the film of tears that surrounded them. He rolled his eyes.

“You mean I ‘aff ta sit an’ watch whail mah gelfriend swoons ovah flamin’ Paw McCartney?!” he protested, jokingly. I pondered this for a second and then nodded. He laughed loudly. “Wew, if ‘at’s wot maiks ya ‘appy, ‘en ‘at’s exackly wot we’w do babe!” he told me. I dried my eyes and wiped my face. He looked at me and cupped my face in his hands. “Ya knaw, even when ya’ve bin craiyin’, ya still ‘ave tha mowst gawjas faice I’ve evah seen,” he complimented me. I blushed and allowed myself a girlie giggle. He chuckled too and kissed me. We’d never even kissed each other properly for two weeks. I’m sure everyone thought we were up every night till dawn just, you know, but the truth was that we’d not done that since Leeds. Most of the time we were up talking all night, or we’d have drinking matches (I always lost, although I built up my tolerance rather well!) or we just lay there in each others arms, wondering how we were going to live without each other when I had to go home. And now, here we were, five days before I went home, having the first kiss we’d shared in two weeks and I’d missed it so much.

“Let’s not get back too late tonight, maybe we’ll go out clubbing tomorrow, eh?” I suggested afterwards. He looked disappointed.

“You shaw?” he asked, hoping I wasn’t. I grinned at him.

“I’m sure we can find something better to do tonight, can’t we?” I inquired. At first he didn’t have a clue what I was talking about but I kept on looking at him, grinning wickedly and raising an eyebrow and finally he cottoned onto what I was talking about. He chortled.

“Wew, I s’pose when ya pat it laik ‘at, dahncin’ can wait tiw tamorra cahn’ it?” I nodded and slipped my arms around his waist.

“I thought you’d come round to my way of thinking,” I whispered as I started kissing his neck gently. He coughed nervously and I looked up. Roger was stood in the doorway, staring at us with a look of disgust mingled with shock.

“Cahn’t you two keep your ‘ahnds orf each avvah for five minutes?!” he asked, wearily. We nodded.

“You have no idea!” I informed him, shaking my head sadly. “And besides, we’ve only got five days left together! Give us a break!” Then I wondered what I was doing explaining myself to someone who, up until two months ago, I hadn’t been able to stand the sight of! Roger shrugged and left the room, closing the door tightly behind him. Keith turned to me and grinned.

“Naw ‘en, where were we?” he asked.

“Just about…….. here I think,” I informed him, kissing him again.

“Fort so,” he told me.

We didn’t do anything untoward, just kissed each other. However, we knew now that we didn’t have many kisses left because I was leaving soon. I really wasn’t sure if I could exist without him, I knew I didn’t want to. Every kiss was tinged with sadness and brought tears to my eyes. I think he was upset too, but he was never a crier.

“Are you going to miss me?” I asked him as I rested my hand on his knee. He looked at me.

“Wot kaind of a dahft question is ‘at?” he retorted. Like I say, he was never big on words. “I’m gunnah miss ya more’n ennyfink. Wivaht you I’m not gunnah be laik a ‘ole Keef Moon, jast a bit of a one. You complete me, ‘Ev, an’ I’ll ahways lav ya.” I looked into those eyes again. He was serious. He was never one for showing his emotions or sweet talking a girl, if someone liked him then great, if not he wasn’t going to beat himself up over it. And he was always uncomfortable about voicing his private thoughts and feelings, so for him to tell me this was not just a matter of being told some beautiful words, it was truly an honour and a privilege. I don’t think he had ever really opened his heart like that to anyone before. It was too much for me, I had to leave the room in tears. He came after me as I headed into the bathroom for some more toilet paper to dry my eyes with.

“Wot did I say naw?” he wanted to know, really disturbed that he’d upset me. I gave him a watery smile.

“Nothing, I just can’t believe someone like you could really feel that way about someone like me. What do I have that you could possibly even like?” I wondered aloud. My worst ever fault is that I always put myself down, and one of the main occasions I do this is whenever people tell me they love me.

Moonie knew this and just shook his head.

“My dear gel, wiw you stop pattin’ yahsewf dahn fow one second! It’s quait annoyin’ arfta a whail ya knaw! Jast accept wot I’ve towd ya and don’t argue wiv me!” he commanded as he held me close to him.

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We had had a top night out. The film was brilliant, and Paul McCartney… suffice to say, my Moonie darling was getting quite jealous every time he looked at me! We didn’t go out for a meal, we just went to the chippy and got some fish and chips which we ate outside as we strolled along the streets I had grown to love in the short time I’d spent there. We’d decided to make a pact that while we were together we wouldn’t mention me leaving as it hurt us both too much when we talked about it. So we didn’t.

Moonie looked in his wallet to see how much ‘damage’ our night out had done him. He looked quite happy and drew out a twenty pound note. I’d never seen one of them so closely! Twenty pounds! We could’ve done anything, gone out for a slap-up meal, gone out drinking all night, stayed in a hotel and STILL have enough money for our bus ride home! My eyes grew wide as I gazed at it, and gingerly reached out my hand to hold it. He handed it over to me. I was actually holding a twenty pound note! I was so excited! That was more money than I’d ever held in my life! My hands started shaking and I quickly gave it back to him.

“Wow, babe, was that REAL?” I asked with child-like wonderment and astonishment. He giggled and nodded.

“Yeah, cowse it is! Wot shall we do? Stay at the Ritz tanaight? Owdah room sahvice jast for the ‘ell of it? Wot do you fink swedeaht?” he asked me, grinning. Of course, even I knew £20 wasn’t going to get us a room in the Ritz, but still, it sounded so much fun! He left me with the decision, handing the note back to me. I looked at it for a few silent moments and then turned to him.

“First of all I think we should buy an ice-cream each,” I decided.

“In ‘is wevvah?! It’s bladdy Nowvembah!” he protested.

“Any time is the right time for ice-cream,” I told him firmly, and whisked him to the ice-cream stand, and ordered two big chocolate cornets. I handed one to him and paid for the ice-creams with my own money, I wasn’t going to give the twenty pounds up that easily! “Anyway, I’m sure we can warm up later on!” I continued. I could tell he liked the sound of that.

“You ain’t jast a pretty face ya know, yang Woolie!” he told me as he slipped his arm around my waist.

“I know,” I answered in between licks of my ice-cream. Some of his frankness and brutality had worn off on me I think. He smiled contentedly and we walked along silently eating our ice-creams, until we found a bench to sit on. We sat down and finished our ice-creams in silence. Finally we’d finished, although I could easily have had another one! I wiped my hands on my jacket and took the note out of my pocket. I gazed at it, still not sure if it was real or not.

“I’ve made my mind up!” I announced after at least five minutes deliberation. He rolled his eyes and muttered, “Bladdy finally!” I ignored him and continued.

“Let’s go and stay there tonight,” I suggested, pointing over to a nearby hotel. He looked to where I was pointing. It was a small but neat looking place, nothing fancy, just nice and pleasant looking.

“’At’s you aw ovah, innit?” he smiled, “Naffink ovah tha top fer you, jast sammink simpuw. You’re one in a miwyun, ‘Evvah!” I looked up and beamed at him. I kissed him gently and then dragged him up and led him over to the hotel. We met the receptionist, a middle-aged lady who looked like she needed a week off.

“Er, ‘ello my dear gel, I’d laik ta book a room fer tanaight, if ‘at’s possibuw,” Keith began, flirting with her. She smiled at him and replied,

“Oh, yes sir, of course, what sort of a room would you like?” he glanced down at me and winked.

“Wew, me an’ me waif ‘ere, we’d laik one o’ your best rooms if ‘er’s one free, it’s an, er, special occasion,” he explained, carefully dodging the subject of my departure. She looked at me with an “oh-you-lucky-lucky-devil-you!” expression on her face, and carefully examined the book. Finally she muttered a triumphant “Aha!” and glanced up at us.

“There’s our best room free, two floors up, Room #304,” she informed us. Mackinley Baker’s room! Hahahaha! I thought, back into my Monkees TV episode mode.

“’At’ll do naicely, my dear gel,” Moonie grinned cheekily. She visibly shivered and it was all I could do to stop myself from laughing out loud. She handed him the key and batted her eyelids at him.

“That’ll be five pounds four and elevenpence,” she informed him, holding out her hand expectantly. I dropped the note into her hand, and she looked at me with a slight expression of disdain. She counted out our change and put it carefully in his hand. She was so blatantly attracted to him, it was funny!

“I hope you enjoy your stay, what name is it please?” she asked, pen poised in the book.

“Moon. Mr and Mrs Keith Moon,” I replied. It sounded so good! She wrote it down and turned to us again.

“Now, if there’s anything at all you want, just pick up the phone and dial 1338 for Room Service,” she informed us. The Monkees house number! I thought, liking this place already.

“Fank you sow mach fow your ‘ewp, my dear gel, I ‘ope ta see ya again soon!” Keith told her, giving her a little wink. She swooned and giggled hysterically. We made our way to our room and after we closed the door behind us we collapsed into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

“The poor woman! You’re such a meanie, Mr. Moon!” I playfully chastised him. He looked at me, tears of laughter streaming down his face.

“I cahn’t ewp bein’ sow irrisistubuw, Mrs. Moon!” he protested. We laughed again. It was quite some time before we calmed down.

“Mrs. Moon,” I repeated, “That’s the first and last time I’ll probably use that name,” I added, sadly. He said nothing but nodded. He sat up suddenly and kissed me.

“Evryfink wiw work aht jast raight, ‘Ev!” he promised me, smiling. An idea was forming in his mind, but I was too busy getting miserable to see it. He tapped my hand smartly and reached for the phone beside the bed.

“I knaw jast tha fing ta cheer you ap!” he declared, grinning. I stared at him, puzzled. What on earth?! I wondered. He picked up the receiver and dialed for Room Service.

“Er, ‘ello, can you please send a very very large bottuw o’ Martini an’ a packet o’ playin’ cards ta Room 304? Cheers, dahlin’!” he chirped and replaced the receiver.

“What was that for?” I asked, nervously. The Eyes gleamed at me.

“We’re gunnah plaiy Strip Powkah and we’w probly need a drink an’ I know Martini’s yahw favourite drink so, er, wew, ‘at’s why,” he explained. I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t even know how to PLAY Poker! Can’t we do Gin Rummy or something? Snap?!” I asked hopefully. He nodded, chuckling.

“Gin Rammy it is ‘en,” he agreed as the door knocked. I jumped up and opened the door to a shy looking young boy who handed me quite literally the largest bottle of Martini I’d ever see in all my born days and a brand new packet of playing cards. I thanked him, put my hand in my pocket and gave him half a crown. He grinned thankfully and dashed off. I shut the door and handed the cards to Keith.

“You shuffle, I’ll pour,” I informed him, grabbing two tumblers from the cabinet. He obeyed silently, looking up to see how much I’d poured out for him.

“’Ang on! You got more ‘an I did!” he cried. I shrugged and poured some more into his glass.

“Better?” I inquired handing the glass to him. He nodded and took a swig.

I started drinking too, and before I knew it, we were playing our first round of Strip Gin Rummy.

Now, I have never professed to being a great card-player in my life, but Rummy is the one game I can play. However I found myself wearing far less clothes than I should have done in a relatively short time.

“Are you cheating, Mr Moon?” I asked suspiciously. He looked up at me, The Eyes saying ‘I’m innocent!’ but the face telling me ‘I’m guilty!’ “Just as I thought!” I growled, and leaned over to him. I quickly unbuttoned his shirt and helped him off with it. “And the trousers!” I ordered. He obeyed. “Right, that looks better,” I finished, and dealt the cards out again. His hand reached out for mine.

“Game’s ap naw ‘Ev!” he told me, “It only goes to yahw anderwear!” I looked at us and shrugged. I leaned over to get the Martini and poured out two more large measures for us.

“Well, that was fun!” I said, flatly. He knew I wasn’t really being sarcastic, just tipsy, and he smiled.

“Cam ‘ere you!” he giggled as he wrapped his arms around me and lay me down on our bed. He started tickling me again. I wriggled and squirmed as best as I could to get away from his grasp but he held me too tightly.

“Stop it or I’ll scream!” I gasped, giggling. He ignored me, and I opened my mouth to take a breath to scream when he clapped a hand over my mouth.

“Wot wiw the avvah peopuw ‘ere fink?!” he asked.

“That we’re having a better time than they are!” I answered honestly, moving his hand away. He pondered this for a second and nodded. He bent down to me and kissed me.

“Could be bettah though, couldn’t it?” he whispered mischievously. I agreed and kissed him too.

“Oh, but Keith, what will the poor receptionist lady say? I mean, I’m sure she thought there was something down for her when you winked at her!” I protested jokingly.

“I know, ‘are can I tell ‘er it’s ovah wivaht ‘urtin’ ‘er feelin’s?” he asked me. I shook my head and told him he’d just have to break her heart. He shrugged. “Wew, if ‘at’s wot I gottah do, ‘en ‘at’s wot I gottah do!” he mused. I suddenly sat up. “Wot’s ap, babe?” he wanted to know.

“Wait one second,” I ordered and picked up the ‘do not disturb’ sign from the side of our bed. I opened the door just enough for me to slip my arm around so I could hang the sign on the doorknob. Then I shut the door and locked it tightly. “Well, here we are…” I began as I sat back down on the bed. He nodded and we both snuggled down under the bedclothes. Not for long though…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

We awoke the next morning to the smell of cooking bacon. My mouth watered and suddenly I got really homesick. I missed my dad’s bacon butties! For some unknown reason I had a burst of energy, which had probably been lurking there for a year or so, and I jumped out of bed, kind of forgetting I was in a state of undress. Keith opened his eyes and wolf whistled at me. I looked at him, confused, but then I realised and grabbed my dressing gown and wrapped it around myself.

“Sorry!” I mouthed. He shook his head.

“Wot am I gonnah do wiv you, dear gel?” he asked me despairingly.

“You seemed to have a pretty good idea last night!” I told him, which received a dirty chuckle in reply.

“I did didn’t I? It was fan, lahst naight. Fanks babe.”

“Oh, thank YOU! I had the most wonderful time of my whole life, and nothing in this world could stop me from being happier than I am right now” I told him as I bent down to kiss him, but he pulled me back onto the bed with him. I squealed but was enveloped by his arms and couldn’t move, not that I really wanted to. Afterwards we showered and got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. When we got downstairs we saw the receptionist lady again. She recognised Moonie and smiled at him.

“Did you have a nice stay Mr Moon?” she asked him. He nodded.

“Yes fanks. The Martini was lavley, an’, er, we fahnd the bed to be extremely camfy, didn’t we dahlin’?” he asked as he turned to me and winked.

I stifled a laugh.

“Oh yes, lovely and soft, we had a great time thanks… Lovely night’s sleep!” I thanked her. She looked at me sorrowfully and then looked at my hands. She looked up again with a confused expression on her face.

“Where are your wedding and engagement rings, Mrs Moon?” she asked me, surprised. Keith was about to tell her to mind her own business but I stopped him.

“We’ve had a few money problems and I had to sell them, they were the only things of any real value I had. Heartbreaking, really, when a woman has to get rid of the two most important items of jewellery she’s ever owned…” I trailed off. She wiped a tear from her eye. Moonie had to hide a smile and pinched me. We sat down and ate a gorgeous full English breakfast, only I didn’t have the black pudding, I’ve never fancied the idea of eating blood really. Every mouthful just kept me thinking, This isn’t as good as my dad’s breakfasts! I really miss them! I looked up at him and said, “I want to go home, I miss my dad!” At first he thought I was joking and laughed but when he saw tears fill my eyes again he knew I wasn’t.

“Cor blimey, ‘Ev, ya do pick the most awkward taims ta tew peopuw!” he groaned. “Look, wait tiw we get ‘owm an’ then we’w talk abaht it again, if ya stiw wannah go ‘owm ‘en fair enaf,” he suggested. It sounded fair enough so I agreed. We finished our breakfast and drank about two pots of tea, or else we couldn’t get going properly. He stood up and took my hand, “Cam on ‘en yang laydee, le’s get you ‘owm!” he ordered. We went to the reception and paid for our breakfast and room service, and said goodbye to the receptionist lady who probably felt dreadfully sorry for us. She gazed at Moonie as he left and sighed.

We didn’t rush home, it was a lovely morning, a bit chilly, but he wrapped his arms around me and I felt much warmer. We strolled down the streets on our way home and stopped to talk to a few people on the way. I was torn between two loves. I missed my family and I wanted to be with them again, but I didn’t want to leave London or The Who, well, mainly the drummer… When we got home, John came up to us.

“Where did you two get to lahst naight? We was aw warried sick abaht ya!” he demanded. Roger called over to us.

“I wasn’t! I knew where you’d be, but they wouldn’t listen!”

“Wew, me an’ John was warried abaht ya,” Pete chipped in. “You never even said goodbye nor naffink, where was ya?”

“We stayed the night at that hotel arahnd the cownah,” Moonie told them. “The receptionist di’n’t ‘ahf fancy me! Di’n’t she, ‘Ev?” he asked, turning to me. I burst into fits of giggles again.

“Yeah, and we pretended we were married but then she noticed that I don’t have any rings so she asked where they’d got to!” I began.

“Yeah! Cheeky cah! I was abaht ta tell ‘er ta sharrap an’ maind ‘er own business bat ‘en ‘Evvah stahts goin’ on abaht uas ‘avin’ manny problems an’ we ‘ad ta sell ‘em, so she ends ap feelin’ sorry for us! You are tha best fibbah I’ve evah known!” he backhandedly complimented me. I nodded and slightly curtsied.

“All in a day’s work!” I told him.

We just stayed at home the rest of the day. John brooded, Pete worked away on his new song, giving his guitar a workout. Roger gazed at himself lovingly in the mirror and told everyone that next year the Sexiest Short Bloke In Britain title would be his, Davy Jones or no Davy Jones. Keith and I sat in each others arms for five minutes and then he got bored.

“’S too quiet rahnd ‘ere, I need ta do sammink FAN!” he moaned, his eyes twinkling. I rolled my eyes.

“Like what?” I asked, fearfully.

“Sammink CRAZY, laik…”

“You’re not going to drive a car into an empty swimming pool again are you, Moonie?” called John from his brooding place. My eyes almost leapt out of their sockets.

“Say WHAT?!” I asked, not knowing whether John was being sarcastic or not.

“Down’t be dahft, I’ve awready dan ‘at one, ‘at’d be too predictabuw,” he replied, as if John had said something that happened, well, all the time, obviously… “Nah, gotta be sammink really mad, laik… ‘At’s it! ‘Ev, I ‘ope ya down’t mind bat I’m raidin’ ya andahwear drawer!” he decided, jumping up, forgetting I was on his knee and I fell to the floor with a thump. As quickly as I could I jumped up too.

“KEITH JOHN MOON, YOU GET BACK HERE NOW!” I roared angrily. The whole house stopped in stunned silence. Keith turned around and looked at me, almost scared. “There is NO way upon this EARTH I am having MY boyfriend go through MY underwear drawer! Go through Roger’s, I’m sure he’ll have something!” I told him. Roger sat up with a start.

“’Ow did YOU knaw abaht ‘at?” he asked me, blushing.

“I have my ways of finding out people’s secrets, Mr Daltrey!” I informed him, grinning slyly. “I was also desperate for a pair of knickers and there were these lovely purpley grey ones in your drawer which hadn’t been worn or were very very clean, one of the two, so I er, borrowed them!” I blushed. Keith burst out laughing.

“Seriously?!” he asked, incredulously. Roger and I looked at each other and chuckled.

“Yeah right!” we retorted together. Keith rolled his eyes and continued towards our room. I grabbed his arm and turned him back to me.

“Oi, no! You stay out of my drawers. And my drawers too!” I told him, sternly, “Only one person in this world is meant to wear them, and it sure as hell ain’t YOU!” He rolled his eyes at me.

“Dear gel, wot d’you fink I am?” he asked, loftily. I looked at him.

“You really need me to answer that, oh deranged one?” I inquired, raising my eyebrows at him. He chuckled.

“You’re absolutely raight!” he told me and ran into our room. I raced after him but he closed the door and locked it behind him. I burned bright red and went over to sit by Roger, who had, by now, stopped admiring himself and had gotten rather involved in Keith and mine’s discussion over my undies. I buried my face in his shoulder.

“I despair of that boy, Daltrey!” I sighed. He put his arm around me. By now he had well gotten over me not fancying him so this was just like the kind of cuddle a brother would give his sister, nothing untoward.

“Dawn’t warry, ‘e’s ahwaiys bin laik ‘is. He’s jast a fruit cake!” he comforted me. I giggled and looked at the bedroom door as I heard it unlocking and the door knob turning. I covered my eyes with one hand and Roger’s with the other. We both peeked through gaps in my hands at the sight which was… Keith John Moon in drag.

“’Appy birfdaiy to you, Mistah Prezzidennnnnt!” he sang in his best Marilyn Monroe impression. I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. He was wearing my best red lace set of undies and the short hairy legs with sock marks on his ankles were, needless to say, not a pretty sight. Roger nearly stopped breathing, he laughed that much. John was petrified and ran into his room to hide under the bedclothes, taking Boris with him. Pete came in from his bedroom to see what all the noise was about, took one look at Keith, and his mouth fell open.

“Er, Moonie, we’re seeing a lot more of you than we’d laik to,” he tactfully told him, before turning on his heel and going back to his room. Keith looked down and saw that he’d put the knickers on slightly wrong and we had all received an eyeful of Moonie’s wedding tackle! He actually blushed for probably the first time ever in his life, and with that, ran back into our room. I collapsed onto Roger in fits of hysterical laughter, and he couldn’t stop laughing either.

“Is it ovah yet?” called a shaky voice from John’s bedroom. That just set us off again. We laughed till the tears tripped us, and then Moonie quietly (shock horror!) crept back into the living room. Roger and I were still sat shaking with laughter.

“Er… sorry abaht ‘at ‘Ev, I, er, won’t do it agin, promise” he muttered, just loud enough for me to hear. I didn’t look up, just continued laughing and nodded as best as I could. Finally, after about TEN minuets of violent laughter, I calmed down to a giggle.

“It’s all right hun, I’ve seen it all before anyway, you know!” I told him. He raised his eyebrows and nodded.

“Oh God yeah!” he agreed, grinning saucily from ear to ear.

Half an hour later, the underwear incident had almost been forgotten (except by John who could never look a pair of knickers in the eye again without throwing up), and I was sat with Keith again.

“Jew really wannah go ‘awm tadaiy?” he asked me. Everyone looked up, shocked.

“Bat, you’ve only got annavah free daiys wiv as arfta tadaiy!” Pete and Roger protested. John was still shaking with shock, and couldn’t even look at Keith.

“I know, but I really miss my dad’s cooking!” I reasoned.

“Wew, wot abaht my cookin’?” Pete asked.

“Sorry Pete, but nobody can compare to my dad!” I told him sadly, shaking my head.

“Jast ‘ang on annavah free daiys, ‘Ev, we’w aw miss ya if ya go tadaiy!” pleaded Roger. I looked at him, and he must’ve picked up a few tips from Moonie because I found I couldn’t resist those big blue eyes of his. I looked at Moonie, who offered no help, just flashed The Eyes at me. I turned to Pete, who shrugged and turned away. Then I turned to John who just looked at me and ran to the bathroom again. Some people just have stomachs which are TOO weak! He’d be perfect for my sister! I thought to myself. I sighed, rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“Well, all right, it’s only another three days and, well, mum and dad have probably planned something for when I get home, so, well, I suppose I’d best stay here,” I relented. Roger jumped up in the air and gave a little whoop.

Keith was about to join him, but I knew he’s take it one step further and blow the toilet up or something, so I stopped him. He kept every plumber in London in business with those little bombs of his…

The days we had left weren’t filled with activity. I wanted to spend as much time with the lads as possible before I went. Keith nearly died of boredom, and I must admit, there were times I could quite happily have throttled him for being a pain in the neck, but I didn’t. Pete wrote a song for me, which was really beautiful, all about him being upset I had to leave them. I had to wipe a tear from my eyes after he’d sung it to me. Roger didn’t smile at all on my last day, and John brooded more than usual.

The time had come for me to leave. I was miserable. Keith helped me to pack, and blushed the same colour as the undies when he found them again. We stood in our room in silence for a whole minute, just holding hands. Then he started to cry. I don’t know how I coped, but I did.

“Down’t gow, ‘Ev! Staiy wiv ‘as! We’w look arfta ya!” he pleaded, a few tears escaping down his cheeks. I turned away and shook my head.

“I can’t,” I whispered. “I can’t.”

All five of us walked silently out of the house and down to the station. As I saw the train pull up to the station I burst into tears, and cuddled Keith as tightly as I could. I cuddled the other three too before I got onto the train. I opened the carriage window and reached out my hand to hold Keith’s.

“I’ll never stop loving you!” I sobbed. He nodded.

“Me eevah!” he promised, filling up again. The porter came up to me and told me to sit on my seat, so I had to turn away. I sat down and buried my head in my hands and cried uncontrollably. And I knew nobody would be able to comfort me like Moonie could. That’s what made it harder. I’d never see him again.

All of a sudden somebody tapped my hand gently.

“Er, scuse me, is ‘is seat taken?” asked a familiar voice. I looked up and it was Keith. I gasped and smiled broadly. I shook my head.

“No, help yourself!” I offered. He grinned and knelt down next to me.

“’Ev, marry me,” he asked. I gulped. I was sure I hadn’t heard him right. I looked at him, puzzled.

“Sorry, I thought you’d just asked me to marry you,” I apologised.

“I did. Marry me, ‘Ev, I’ll make ya ‘appy,” he promised. Three heads poked round the carriage door, and it was Roger, Pete and John, all grinning at me. I thought I must have been dreaming.

“Pinch me, Moonie,” I ordered. It hurt. I was wide awake. I looked at him and flung my arms round his neck.

“Like I’d ever say no!” I told him, not sure whether to laugh or cry.

“Is ‘at a yes then?” he asked me. I nodded. He grinned and took a beautiful diamond solitaire ring out of his pocket.

“Next taim we visit ‘at ‘otel, you’ll ‘ave a full collection!” he promised me, chuckling as he slipped it onto the third finger of my left hand. I laughed too and kissed him. For what seemed like ages, I wouldn’t let him go, and then I felt the train moving. I looked up at him.

“But, the train? What shall… oh, er…” I flustered, running my hands through my hair. By this time Pete, John and Rog had sat down with us and had put their feet up on the table separating us from them.

“We’re cammin’ wiv ya,” Pete informed me. “I’ve ahwaiys wannid ta meet a Scarse family!” I shrugged and snuggled into Moonie who had taken a seat next to me. We were on our way to my home. What would they say?

About five hours later, I knew. We pulled up outside my house and went into the house altogether.

“Hiya Mam! I’ve brought sum peeple ‘owm wit me ta show ya!” I called, my Scouse accent returning to me. She ran into the front room and flung her arms around me.

“Ahhhrey, ‘Eath, I ‘aven’t ‘alf missed ya, queen! ‘Oo are ya friends?” she asked, clinging to me tightly.

“Dis is Roger Daltrey, dis guy ‘ere is called Pete Townshend, ‘e’s John Entwistle, and I’d like to introduce you to Keet Moon, me fiancé!” I finished. Mum’s eyes widened.

“Yer wha’?” she asked, hoping I was kidding.

“Me fiancé,” I repeated, showing her my ring. “we just got engaged ‘bout five hours ago!” She stared at Moonie, who felt rather uncomfortable.

“I’m gunnah look arfta ‘er, Mrs Wainwright!” he promised her.

“I should bloody well ‘ope you will, young man!” she replied, frankly.

She looked grimly at him up and down, weighing up her impressions of him.

My mother, of all her good features, is the most excellent judge of character I know, so whatever her gut instinct about someone is, whether it’s the same as mine or not, I always listen to. Suddenly a broad smile crept onto her face. Bingo!

“Well, cum ‘ere den, son!” she told him, outstretching her arms to cuddle him. “But remember, one false move wit my baby geeel an’ you’ll ‘ave all the men of our family to answer to, an’ dat’s after I’ve finished wit ya!” she warned him.

Just then, my sister walked in. She was quite stunned to say the least at seeing four strange men in her living room, and a diamond ring on my finger. But then John caught her eye and she smiled at him. He smiled back. PHWOARGH! they both thought of each other. She turned to me.

“You gonna intraduce me, ‘Eath?” she asked, gazing at John. I cleared my throat.

“Yeah, sorry. Everyone, dis is me sister, Jo, an’ Jo, dese guys are a rock band, collectively known as The ‘Oo. Separately de’re known as Pete Townshend, Roger Daltrey, John Entwistle and your brother-in-law ta be, Keet Moon,” I introduced everyone. Jo’s face fell.

“You ‘aven’t!” she asked, rolling her eyes at me. I nodded. “What was de last fing I told ya before ya left? Don’t get involved wit any strange men!” she lectured. I squeezed Keith’s hand.

“But dis is one o’ de lovely strange men!” I protested. She shook her head.

“Your life, waste it ‘ow ya like!” she told me. “So, John, want to come and view me record collection? You might find something interesting in der I’ll let ya borrie, seein’s we’ll probly see more of each other now’s Tilly Mint’s gettin’ married to your mate,” she offered. He nodded shyly in agreement and they disappeared upstairs to her room. I looked over at Rog and Pete who hid their smiles from my mum, but I knew what they were thinking.

“See, even John’s puwed!” remarked Keith rather untactfully. I rolled my eyes.

“Thanks for that Keet,” I said, sarcastically.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After six months’ preparation, booking the registry office, wedding reception, inviting guests and all that jazz, my wedding day arrived. I had been disowned by a few old aunties who didn’t believe romance existed. Y’know, old maids. Cynical old biddies. Didn’t bother me really, I’d never had much to do with them anyway.

My dad cried on the way to the registry office.

“Me little geeel, all growed up!” he moaned. I dried his tears away.

“Don’t worry da, everyone ‘as ta grow up sumtime, y’know. Keith’ll look after me!” I promised him.

“But will ‘e cook like I can? And what about your cuppa coffee every mornin’? An’ ‘ow could ya possibly marry anyone with a name like Keet?!” he protested. I burst out laughing, and so did he.

We got there and walked in. Keith was waiting for me, Pete was his best man, John was stood hand in hand with Jo. They’d really hit it off and were now going out with each other. Jo was as scared of spiders as I am so John was debating on getting rid of him altogether! It must have been love!

Roger was eyeing up one of my cousins and she was smiling shyly at him. Pete was sure he wouldn’t pull at the wedding but another of my cousins made a play for him. She was, it had to be said, a right slapper so he wasn’t special! But none of my family had the heart to tell him, he looked so happy!

“Do you, Heather Louise Wainwright, take Keith John Moon to be your lawfully wedded husband?” the registrar asked me. I gazed into The Eyes lovingly and nodded.

“Yes. I do,” I told Keith. He grinned at me.

“And do you, Keith John Moon, take Heather Louise Wainwright to be your lawfully wedded wife?” he asked. One of The Eyes winked at me.

“I do indeed, my dear gel!” Keith told me.

“You may kiss the bride!” the registrar told him.

“Fort you’d never arsk!” Keith sighed and gave me my first kiss as a married woman. I smiled at him and as we walked out of the registry office, I kept on saying to myself, “Heather Louise Moon, that’s my name now, Heather Louise Moon. Heather Moon. Mrs Moon. AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” I said the last bit really loudly and threw my arms around Keith again, giving him his first kiss as a married man. We looked up at everyone. My mum and his mum were in tears.

“Aaah, me baby geel!” wailed my mum.

“Me little boy, aw grown ap, an' got a bladdy Scarsah waif!” sobbed his mum.

Our dads shook hands.

“Your lad's got a good geel der, Mr. Moon,” my dad told him.

“I'm shaw 'e 'as, Mr. Wainwright. Welcam ta tha family!” replied his dad.

“Likewise,” my dad finished.

Jo and John kissed each other, Roger had pulled my cousin, and my other cousin had pulled Pete. All was right in the world. And the world was all right on my wedding day. I smiled to myself. I was in love, and so was my husband. Two rings on my left hand and the look in The Eyes told me so. I kissed him again and he squeezed me tightly. We were truly happy then and we knew we’d be truly happy forever, as long as forever was spent with each other.

THE END!