They've been playing Gary Numan for an hour, And every Sister's song they ever made. Warlock three times in a row, Gothlings beg to hear Type O, This really isn't worth the cover charge I paid. Instead of dancing they're all standing on the floor, Waving cigarettes and staring at their feet. Then occasionally they pace (when they're not standing in place) Too aloof to have a clue that there's a beat. It's so smoky I can't even see the bar. The machine is belching stenchy clouds of haze. Turn it up a little more, We haven't yet obscured the floor! To find the doorway out of here would take five days. In the summer there's no air conditioning, And the winter leaves us chilled without a doubt. When it's cold you see your breath. I think we all would freeze to death lest we make fires From the fliers they've passed out. In the bathroom there are lumps of hotel soap, And the toilet paper's running out again. When I need to fix my tights, There's some GUY in there despite The sign above the door that clearly says WOMEN. Don't even bother trying to ask for song requests. The DJ will not play them so don't try. If he says "yes" that's "no" to you. ....And "maybe" means "no" too, So go home and play some Robert Smith and cry.
Would you think I'm spooky if I painted my nails black? Would you think I'm spooky with "EVIL" tattooed on my back? Would you think I'm spooky if I had some nipple rings? Would it be more spooky if I collected dead things? Would you say I'm spooky if I burned candles often? Wouldn't it be spooky if I invited you to my coffin? Would you think I'm spooky if I grew another head? Or dug up Bela Lugosi just to make sure that he's dead? Would I be real spooky if I impaled your cat on a rusty railroad spike, then ironed him til he's flat? I think I'd be spooky if I chanted in Chinese,filled your waterbed with jello and molested you with cheese. Maybe I'd be spookier if I raised giant snails that would write disgusting death threats to you in their slimy trails. I think that being spooky means I'd wait til you're asleep, then I'd eat your toenail clippings and bleet just like a sheep. Really spooky would be if I strapped you to a door and made you watch the Backstreet Boys while I roll across the floor, flinging manhole covers at you til you're bleeding and you're sore, then I'd hose you down in blue kool-aid, throw fish at you and roar about the indignity of camel salivation and its effects on the economic growth of third world countries and why as a result I have to give you a twinkie enema until you just can't take it ANYMORE!!!! ......would that be spooky?
Hello, I'm a vampire With my five foot satin cape. Behold, thou art my victim! It is foolish to escape. I said I am a vampire. Do you think I would deceive? The way you smirk behind your mocha makes me think you don't believe. Ha-Ha I am a vampire! A kind of Nosferatu! Perhaps my mystic charm and pale complexion will impress you!! See, I AM a vampire. And I...What? A DAYJOB? ME? No...that wasn't ME you saw straining grease at KFC.... Behold I am a vampire! I can change into a bat! But, not right now. The cafe owners wouldn't look too well on that. I tell you, I'm a vampire! I drink blood and fear the light! Dirnk yours NOW? Uh....I can't... I've uh...already fed tonight. I'm a vampire!! Stop laughing! Pathetic Mortal! YOU WILL SEE! What? There's a fang in your coffee? Oh...that's mine. excuse me.
I'd play your song but them I'd have to kill you. I have no Peter Murphy cuz he sucks. I won't play any Front Line, Robert Smith, or Ministry, so sorry pal, I guess you're out of luck. I'd play your song but then I'd have to vomit. Snog and Switchblade Symphony are crap. I've never heard of Christian Death, Or C-tec or Wumpscut, And I defintely will not play Razed In Black. I'd play your song but I don't really want to. I do not like Apoptygma Berserk. There won't be any Leather Strip or KMFDM So take you Sisters' discs and go you jerk! I will not play your song, so sit your ass down. Stop sending all your friends up here to ask. I have something against VNV Nation. Just grab your Dead Can Dance and take it back. What?! You think I am some kind of DJ?! Sorry, you are quite mistaken, friend. I'm sick of Siouxsie, Gary, Funker Vogt and Covenant That's why I'm playing 242 again.
My corset's laced, My nose ring's in. My lipstick is just right. All geared up to look extremely bored out at the club tonight. Gotta use five cans of hairspray so my hairdo's bulletproof. I'm the only one who's teasing job can deflect pigeon poop. I'm so GAWTHIC! Don't you wish you were me? Even Peter Murphy would say I'm much gothier than he. My complexion's nice and pasty. The black lights will make me glow. Now I'm practicing my ennui before it's time to go. Gonna stand out on the dancefloor by the mirror in the back, admiring how my dress is the perfect shade of black. I'am so GAWTHIC! Don't you wish you were me? I am not just a mere mortal unlike all these wannabes. I think they're all just jealous cuz they know I'm better dressed. Or maybe they just envy how I always look depressed. I sit on the net till 4am and chat all through the night bragging 'bout how black my hair is and how I avoid the light. I'm so GAWTHIC! Don't you wish you were me? So step aside you little fakes! Worship my Gothnicity!
I was once a proud vampire. Stalked the night in search of prey. Then this heartless Goth girl laughed at me. So I'm a Spampire now..OK?! I wander darkened streets In late hours of the night Til I come upon a grocery store And drop in for a bite. I ignore the stockboys And their condescending smirks As I bear my fangs and hiss In my attempt to scare the clerks. Silently as I approach It sits there on the shelf. And I draw my cape about me Just to obscure myself. Then I launch myself at the display With a loud bloodthirsty cry And announce to all the potted meat "Forsooth! It's time to die!!!" With a metallic chomp I try to sink my teeth right in. But it's hard when my Hot Topic fangs Get stuck in the top of the tin. I wrestle with my victim And I snarl and bite and grab. Til a stock boy recommends It's easier just to pull the tab. So with a sigh I just give up, Find another victim instead. Now I'm stocking up on jello Cuz it's squishy and it's red.
I will not wear that bright green shirt. I wouldn't, even if it hurt. I will not wear things that are green. To make me wear it is so mean. I will not wear it with a fox. I will not wear it in a box. I will not wear it with black socks. A curse i put on it, a pox. Why must you make me wear this shirt? It does not match my velvet skirt. I will not wear it with some chains. I will not wear it in the rain Nor with my see-thru vinyl bra. Wearing green should be against the law. I would not, could not, if i was dead. I would not, could not....unless it was red. I will not wear it on my head. I would not wear it if it bled. I will not wear those bright green clothes With my fishnet pantyhose. I will not wear it on my back. Why can't you buy me something black? It's so ungothic to wear green. In something green I can't be seen. I will not, I am very sure Wear it when I play the Cure. I would not with some vinyl pants. I would not, could not when I dance. I will not wear it with a hat. I will not put it on my cat. I'd much rather you eat my spleen For to wear green is so obscene.
Coffee - by Excesspresso (crucial agony side project)
Wake me up
Fill my cup
I need some
Coffee
Coffee break
I'm awake
Have some more
Coffee
Use my spoon
Use the milk
Stir in my
Coffee
More for me
Caffeine - Whee!
Sure beats tea
Coffee
I can feel the coffee in me flow
Please add 2 more shots of expresso
Caffeine driving through my veins as though
I've got a coffee IV...whoaaaaaaa!
20 cups
30 cups
40 cups
Coffee
Percolate
Caffeinate
MMMmm tastes great
Coffee
Twitch and shake
I vibrate
Drink some more
Coffee
Spilled a lot
OW! That's hot!
Lick it up
Coffee
Need to have some java let it pour!
My cup is empty, the coffee is no more.
I'm out..I have to get some at the store!
Writhe in caffeine shock upon the floor.
(6669bpm drum solo)
My Girlfriend is a Pirate
She's been going through some changes
that I just don't understand.
It seems she has a silver hook
instead of her left hand.
Her peculiar lust for gold
has formed some trenches in the yard
Now my girlfriend is a pirate
and all she says is ARRR!
She's traded in her gap wear
for some wenchy pirate clothes.
It seems that someone manufactures
peg legged pantyhose.
She dresses in these stripey things
and boots up to her thigh
yeah, my girlfriend is a pirate
i must confess i'm going to cry.
She makes me swab the poop deck
and she makes me hoist the sails
While she's pillaging the tavern
in the search for mugs of ale.
She makes me climb the misen
as I weep in misery
cause my girlfriend is a pirate
and I'm a weak yuppie.
There's dubloons in the couch cushions
ancient maps under the bed.
And her stupid talking parrot's
always crapping on my head.
She prepares to board the couch
while I'm trying to watch the game
Yes, my girlfriend is a pirate
Treasure Island is to blame.
She has this British accent now
and waves her sword up high
Giving me a lusty look
with her one unpatched eye.
When we go to bed at night
she sleeps on the starboard side
Oh, My girlfriend is a pirate
All my friends are petrified.
She's keelhauled all my buddies
and I can't seem to stop her
because I fear her threats
of visiting Davy Jones's locker
I tried to talk some sense to her
before she made me walk the plank
So she became a software pirate...
And I have microsoft to thank.
Now she burns expensive programs
instead of the nearest bar
but when there's write protection
I still hear her screaming ARRRR!!!
The jolly roger's on her desktop
and an accordian's on her knee
so my girlfriend is a pirate....
but my computer games are free.