This letter will protect you from any malicious wishes that may result from not forwarding a chain letter on the Internet. The following protections have automatically been applied to you because you have received this letter.
This letter hereby absolves you of any and all malicious consequences you may have been subject to by receiving a chain letter via the Internet.
In receiving this letter, you are bound not to send any chain mail to anyone you know. Chain mail is evil and pointless. Please consider the following examples:
Barry White received this mailing sometime in 1946, but, in spite of this warning, he forwarded a malicious chain letter to everyone in his address book. A week later, he was visited by a group of paranoid walrus worshipers who beat him senseless with uncooked lasagna noodles.
Gertrude Garth also received this letter and ignored it. After sending a chain letter to three of her friends, she was brutally beaten and mutilated by two Jehovah's Witnesses, angry that she answered her door in a party dress.
Don't let misfortune find you. This e-mail will protect you throughout your life and is unlimited in scope. Its protective powers will never expire nor become ineffective against any chain letter or clauses held therein.
Remember, you are bound to never, ever forward another chain letter or hoax as long as you live, so help you [enter the name of your supreme being here] !!!!!!!!!!!
What is a chain letter, you still ask?
s l - o - w - l - y .
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 50 people in the next 5 seconds, your loved ones will be chased by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.
.Here's how it goes:
Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter. Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter. Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life. Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will fire bomb your house. Thanks!!!!
Good Luck!!!
You MUST read this, or something bad might happen!
There is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. ]This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Orphan from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the e=mails sent and this is all a complete load of b******t. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder -if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.Thanks again!!
This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no e=mail then and probably not as many sad farts with nothing better to do. This is how it works:
Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible
will happen to you.like:
Bizarre Horror Story #1:
Miranda Pinsley was
walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and
ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer,
was flushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a
waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, but she died, too! This Could Happen To
You!!!
Bizarre Horror Story #2 Dexter Bip, a 17 year old boy, got a chain letter in his e-mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend. They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.This Could Happen To You Too!!!
remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip.
So send this letter
to all of your loser friends, and everything will be
okay.
A friend is someone who is always at your side. A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of s**t, and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood. A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hatfull of a******s. A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself. A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life. A friend is someone you stay with while they cry about their sad sad life. A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad chimpanzees, then thrown to vicious dogs. A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English{...oh. .er..sorry, that's Blanca the cleaning lady}A friend is someone who sends you chain letters because he wants your wish of being rich to come true.Trouble is, you're way down the list.
Now pass this on! If you don't,
Moral: Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail. O.K? Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise you'll have to look at me naked!
.