enola_hold-me-4

HOLD ME IN YOUR ARMS by Enola <<< Part 3

PART 4

Emma had nearly got home when she received a phone call from her father. He only said he was at hospital and begged her to come here immediately. Her first and only thought was for her mother and she couldn’t understand why her father hadn’t said anything more on phone. She drove towards the hospital like a mad to arrive as soon as possible. When she finally got there and saw her parents sat on a small couch holding each other, she got confused. Her mother was too shattered to speak, so it was her father who told her what was going on, but before he told her daughter to sit down.
“It’s Ethel, darling. She’s dying.”

Before entering Ethel’s room, her doctor told Emma that her sister was extremely weak and that she couldn’t recognize her. Ethel had lost some weight and she looked at least ten years older. She was very pale and had deep shadows under her eyes. As Emma sat down in a chair next to her sister’s bed and took her hand, Ethel moaned softly and opened her eyes.
“Hi Ethel,” whispered Emma stroking her sister’s hair gently.
“Em?”
“Yep, it’s me.”
Ethel endeavoured to speak but Emma couldn’t manage to hear what she was saying. She was on the verge of tears.
“Why Ethel? Why didn’t you tell us anything?” Emma went closer as much as possible to be able to hear Ethel’s feeble voice.
“Didn wan your sympath. Don deser ’t”
“Don’t say this Ethel,” said Emma softly shaking her heads.
“But appy you ere. Sorry Em, sorry for everyth”
Those were her last words. Ethel’s heart stopped beating a quarter later.

Emma was still holding Ethel’s hand in hers and tears were rolling down her face. She couldn’t believe her sister had died. Her father handed her a letter that Ethel had asked him to give to her. She opened it and saw it had been written ten days after their mum’s birthday. She wiped the tears from her face and began to read.
My dearest Emma,
if you’re reading this it means I’ve gone. I’m seriously ill, Emma. Last week I had a check-up and I found out I’ve got a terminal liver cancer. Doctors gave me eight weeks, ten at the outside.
There are so many things I need to tell you, so many things I’ve never told you and that I want you to know.
The most important is that I’ve always loved you. I know Emma, I know you find hard to believe it, but that’s the truth. I’ve been horrible to you, I know, but I couldn’t stand being different from you. I wanted people who loved you, loved me as well. I know, it’s not easy to understand and I’m not asking you to.
The other thing I need to tell you is about your ‘friend’. God, that’s crazy. I don’t even know his name! But I’m sure you know whom I’m talking about. Dad was right, that time I touched bottom. He was sure I were you and I took advantage of this to take your place, for once I could be you. I understood immediately that YOU weren’t just a friend to him. I understood that from the way he watched me and talked to me. He looked and sounded embarrassed and when I asked what he really felt for YOU he turned red and couldn’t speak. Just after a few pints he found the strength to tell me. He said: “I like you Emma. I’ve liked you for ages but I’ve never done anything because of Pete…that fucking cunt! I know you aren’t ready for another relationship and I do understand this, but I like to think that one day you’ll come to me and say, ‘please, hold me in your arms and never let me go.’” Those were, more or less, his own words. At that very moment I thought that those were the soppiest things I had ever heard spoken by a man. But now I think that you, hearing him saying them, YOU would cry with happiness. I’m the only responsible Emma. Please, don’t punish him because of me, he doesn’t deserve it. He loves YOU, Emma. The love Pete felt for you was nothing compared to this. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m doing this. The answer is very easy: I want you to be happy and I know you’ll be with him.
One more thing my dear sister. I want to be cremated and I’d like YOU to scatter my ashes at sea in that little shore near Brighton where we used to spend summer holidays when we were kids. I really hope you will.
Goodbye my beloved little sister. I wish you all the best.
Yours,
Ethel

Three days later, 11.48pm

Lying in the sofa in his Cardiff flat, James was bored. He had spent the evening watching several dvd’s and now his eyes ached. It was too early to go to sleep and he felt like going on with the book he was reading in the afternoon, but they eyes needed some rest. He cupped his face in his hands and rubbed his tired brown eyes, then he filled his glass with Jameson, took one of his acoustic guitars and sat in the sofa, his legs stretched out over it. He closed his eyes and started to play. Here it was something that helped him to relax and that he could do well with both open or shut eyes.

The bell rang. He wondered who the hell it could be at midnight, but he kept on playing his guitar. Whoever it were, it would get fed up and, in the end, would leave. The bell rang again, but he ignored it. The bell rang for the third time and he threw his head back swearing in a low voice. The bell rang again and he, eventually, got up pissed off. He opened the door but he didn’t see anyone. However, he could hear the noise of female heeled shoes going weaker and weaker so he stepped out the door and saw a red-haired woman with a long black coat walking away slowly. Was it her?
“Emma?” he called her name out loud enough she could hear it. The woman stopped immediately but didn’t turned round. She did it slowly several seconds later. Yes, it was Emma. She then came closer looking down and just looked up for a moment to say hi timidly. James hadn’t shaved for days, he looked tired and bad-tempered. He didn’t say anything, he was completely bewildered by her unexpected visit. He entered his flat and kept the door open for her. When Emma came in she realised he reeked of cigarettes and whiskey. ‘Great,’ she thought. ‘Grumpy drunk Bradders. As if all this weren’t hard enough.’

‘Why had she come here?’ wondered James. Was it to tell him, once and for all, that she no longer wanted to have anything to do with him?
“She’s died,” she began sounded almost apathetic. “Ethel died three days ago. She had a terminal cancer and she didn’t tell anyone anything.” Her voice sounded annoyed and sad now. “She’s been a bitch till the end.”
James was shocked to hear the news but he still didn’t know what to say. Or perhaps he simply had nothing more to say than he hadn’t already. Now it was her turn, she had to speak to him. Whatever she had to say, he would listen to her. Emma sat down in the sofa. She was exhausted after driving from Brighton to Cardiff. She kindly asked for some water and when James returned to the lounge she had fallen asleep.

He was sitting in an armchair opposite the sofa when Emma woke up about one hour later. As she sat down on the sofa, James stood up and said quietly,
“You can sleep in the spare room. There are clean towels and a brand-new toothbrush in the bathroom. Goodnight.”
‘That voice!’ Emma thought after he went to his bedroom. She couldn’t describe the feelings his hoarse voice aroused.

James couldn’t believe his eyes when he awoke. Emma was sleeping next to him, her arm on his back. He moved extremely slowly to avoid arousing her from her deep sleep and turned on his back. She moved unconsciously snuggling up to him, resting her head and her arm over his chest. Was it a dream? She was wearing the t-shirt he had left over the bed in the spare room and she did smell nice. He kissed her reddish hair and stroked it gently for ten, or maybe fifteen minutes.

Emma woke up slowly. She felt his hand touching his hair, the pleasant sensation of his bare skin under her cheek and the sweetness of his smell. When he saw her eyes opening, he immediately gave up stroking her hair.
“No, don’t stop,” she protested sleepily. He went on stroking her hair and for a few minutes they both kept silent. Still, James didn’t have the least idea of what to say.
“I had a nightmare last night,” she began quietly, “I woke up abruptly and I couldn’t manage to fall asleep again. I kept on tossing and turning in bed for a couple of hours, then I came here. I felt lonely.” Whilst speaking she kept brushing his chest with his fingertips making him shake lightly. “I haven’t ever slept with Brent Davenport. I could have to, but it wouldn’t have made me feel any better. I asked him to come with me to the wedding ‘cos I wanted…well, I wanted to hurt you and I apologise for it. It was something too stupid to do.”
She then stopped and waited for him to say something. When she realised he wouldn’t speak, she propped herself up on one elbow and looked at him. His eyes were filling with tears.
“Hey?! What’s up?” she whispered fondling his cheek.
“I’m so sorry…I…”
She put her lips over his and kissed him sweetly. “It’s alright honey.” She wiped his tears with her fingers smiling at him. “Now hold me.”
He pulled her closer to him and held her in his arms as tighter as he could. He would have held her forever if only she had asked to.

James and Emma lay in bed on their sides kissing and cuddling like teenagers. There was, however, something strange in his eyes. He looked worried, almost frightened. He should be happy, Emma thought. She was here next to him, so why wasn’t he?
“Tell me what’s wrong,” she said kissing his forehead sweetly.
He looked straight in her eyes and said, “Is it really you?”
She smiled brushing his bearded cheek, “You gave me this address as soon as you bought the flat, remember? I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”
That was true. Now he had no more doubts. It was her. It was Emma. He smiled at last freeing his relief and amazement. He gave her one of his sweetest smiles she loved, one of those smiles which made him look like an adorable, cute child.
“And you? How do you feel?”
She shrugged and sighted. “Upside down. I can’t believe she’s gone. I can’t stop thinking that while I was having fun at Martin and Lydia’s wedding party, Ethel was dying in a hospital bed.”
“You can’t blame yourself. You didn’t know.”
“I had to understand.”
“How?”
“I haven’t been fine lately. I’ve frequently suffered from headaches, nausea and I’ve felt dizzy. Last week I fainted at Martin’s. He and Lydia took me to hospital, I had a check-up but everything was okay. I was suffering her pain. That’s something pretty normal between twins, but I realised it too late. I could’ve spent more time with her. It may sound weird, but I miss her.”
James pulled her towards him and hugged her planting soft kisses on her forehead.

“We should go out this evening. Think we both need that,” he sighed,
“Is this a date?”
“Yep, and beware of saying no again, it would kill me!”
She couldn’t help smiling. “I’d love to go out with you, but there’s a problem. I’ve got a suitcase in the boot of my car but I’ve go nothing decent to wear.”
“Well, maybe this will shock you, but here in Cardiff too there are some of those places called shops where one can buy clothes, shoes and whatever one needs.”
He made her burst out laughing now. He was really fun to be with. It was one of the things she liked the most about him. She had missed everything about him, his voice, his smile, his eyes and the amusing things he could say to make people laugh.
“Would you do me a favour?” whispered Emma kissing his lips sweetly.
He smiled, “Anything for you, baby.”
“Don’t shave.”
“OK.”
“And put on a suit tonight.”
“As you like.”
“You looked so damn gorgeous at the wedding.”
“WHAT?” grimaced James surprised by her statement, “You didn’t even deign to have a glance at me! How can you say that?”
“Erm…” Emma scratched her head ashamed. “Actually, I did look at you…just for a moment but I did. That’s why I want you to wear a suit. I promise I won’t take my eyes off you.”
“Mmm, that sounds good to me.” The sound of his voice and his look were so sexy and Emma felt like melting. He captured her mouth and kissed her passionately, sucking sweetly on her lips, making her quivering in his arms.
“One more thing,” she mumbled in his mouth,
“Yes?”
“Would you please go and fetch my suitcase whilst I shower? Keys are inside my handbag.” Emma thanked him with another kiss and, eventually, got up walking towards the door.
“Hey?!” called out James. Emma turned around and he got out of bed. He cupped her face in his hands and said, “I forgot to tell you something. I’m so happy you’re here.” Emma wrapped her arms around his neck and, in his ear, she whispered that she was glad to hear him say so.
James got dressed and looked for Emma’s car keys in her handbag. He then saw her purse and took it in his hands. He opened it slowly and saw her driving licence. The name on it was Emma A. Wright. He sighed with relief putting back the purse inside the handbag.

Emma bought a red dress with tiny straps which left her back mostly naked. She fell in love with it as soon as she saw it in the window, but she nearly fainted when she learnt its price. James loved it too, or rather, he loved the thought of it on her. He threatened her; or she would buy it or he would. She had no choice but buy it. She would never allow him to.
He wore a black suit and a white shirt and the sight of him made Emma go weak at the knees. He was a very handsome man, and that beard of his then, it made him look so masculine and attractive.

James took Emma to an Italian restaurant from which they had a magnificent view of the bay. When he had booked, he had asked for a secluded table and he had been satisfied. He ordered for both tagliatelle with zucchini, lobster, green salad and a sweet white wine. They talked a lot about all that had happened and made clear different points. Emma told him about her sister’s letter in which she had explained how things went the night they had met at the pub. They both agreed on not talking about that, they had already and there was no more reason to do it again. They agreed also on going out and spending as much time possible together and taking a step forward at a time. There was no need to hurry things. Both of them were far too scared of messing everything up.

Once back at James’s flat, they sat down in the sofa and had a drink whilst cuddling. Emma rested her head over his chest and brought one hand to her mouth yawning.
“Tired?” asked James stroking and kissing her hair.
“Yeah. Shopping for clothes is fun, but it’s wearing too. You are not going to let me sleep all alone in that big bed tonight as well, are you?”
“Um?…What should I do then?”
“You could be nice and share yours.”
“I thought we agreed on taking things easy.”
“Share the bed means sleeping next to each other, my dear.”
“And you think I could behave with you beside me all night?”
“Yes, you will,” she said convinced. “You’ll behave because you won’t ever do anything that would disappoint me.”
“Fuck, I’m trapped! Let’s share my bed then. I don’t want you to have another nightmare. By the way, you still haven’t told me about it.”
“Oh, it was horrible!” said Emma shaking her head, “I couldn’t find you anywhere. You neither were in London nor in here and nobody knew where you had gone. I was desperate.”
“Well, you’ve found me,” smiled James brushing her nose with his index finger, “though I don’t know yet how.”
“Thanks to Oswald. He told me you would spend some time here in Wales though I didn’t know whether here or at your father’s. But as you’ve just said, I’ve found you and that’s what maters.” She planted a kiss on his lips enjoying the tickling sensation of his facial hair.
“Think Oswald deserves a pressie,” moaned James in her mouth breaking the kiss for a moment.
“In her letter, Ethel wrote what you’d like me to say to you,” she smiled staring at him. James smiled as well slightly blushing.
“Would you please say it then?”
Keeping eye contact with him, she whispered, “Please, hold me in your arms and never let me go.”
“Oh baby, that’s just what I’m going to do!”

The End.

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