enola_hold-me

HOLD ME IN YOUR ARMS by Enola

PART 1

“You know Emma, you should go out every now and then!” said James as she was waiting for the lift after a wearing ten-hour workday at ‘Hall or Nothing’,
“You know Bradders, you should mind your business every now and then!” she said quietly a moment before the door closed.

James and all the others were worried for her. Since she had caught her boyfriend in bed with her twin a couple of months ago, Emma was always bad-humoured and mute. She still had the picture of the two of them in her mind. She had worked hard in that period and she had to attend a party that evening. Pete, her boyfriend, used to go with her. He enjoyed them even more than her. Meeting people from the music industry electrified him. That night Pete didn’t accompany her. He had phoned Emma in the afternoon saying he wasn’t fine and just wanted to go home and lie down in front of telly. She had left the party early so that she could go and take care of him. They didn’t live together but they both had each other’s house keys. As she opened the front door, her heart sank. Clothes, both male and female, were strewn across the floor and over the stairs. Her eyes filled with tears immediately. She could hear their soft moans coming from his bedroom. She silently went upstairs and pushed the door open. There was her twin on the top of her boyfriend. Emma could say nothing. She saw a satisfied smirk on her twin’s face and ran away sobbing. That bitch had done it again.

Emma was four minutes older than her twin Ethel. They were physically identical but characteristically opposite. Emma had always been the quietest, the shyest and the kindest. Ethel, since they were children, nourished a sort of hatred for Emma which pushed her being as nastier as possible towards her. Ethel were used to hitting her sister and breaking her toys. Growing up, Emma was cognizant that her twin was jealous of her. Jealous of whatever she had. When they were 16, Ethel ‘stole’ her first boyfriend. Although she was deeply in love with him, she didn’t feel ready to make love to him. At first, he said it was alright. He didn’t mind waiting. One Saturday afternoon, when Emma got back home after studying at her best friend’s, she found him and Ethel having sex in their bedroom. That very same day Emma packed her things into a bag and moved to her grandparents’. The college years had been the happiest in her life since her sister dropped it after the first semester and returned home.

Some days later, Emma went to Pete’s to take her clothes and all the things she had left there. She then learned that that hadn’t been the first time he had betrayed her with her sister. How could have she been so blind? After three and a half years of relationship she felt as if she did not knew him at all.

James asked her out several times. He suggested going to the cinema, to some gig or just to eat or drink something. She rejected all his invitations. She knew he liked her. He had never told her anything because she was engaged and because he liked Pete. It was Terri who had told her she was sure that James had a weakness for her. For this reason she avoided being alone with him. She was afraid he could take a step forward in their relationship. That was something she was not ready for.

Martin insisted on her attending a party on a Friday evening. He was convinced it would help her. Emma missed Pete’s presence very much that evening. She was chattier than she had been lately, but she soon got fed up and informed Martin she wanted to leave. He was sorry but didn’t object. James had been busy talking to producers and journalists all of the time and hadn’t paid too much attention to her. She went away without saying bye. She didn’t want to catch his attention just now.

She had just called for the lift when she heard him calling her. She turned over and he said,
“You can’t leave just now. We didn’t either get the chance to chat a bit.”
“I’m just not in the mood for a chat tonight,” she said turning towards the lift.
James grabbed her by the arm, “You go nowhere missy. Now you sit down and talk to me, right?”
“James I’m tired and -”
“It wouldn’t work. You won’t get rid of me whether you like it or not. Emma, you must give vent to your feelings once and for all. I can no longer stand to see you like this.”
That was the first time he had offered to listen to her after Pete’s betrayal. All of a sudden she felt utterly stupid thinking of all the times he had invited her to go out. The thought he had done that because he simply wanted her to talk to him had never crossed her mind. She was now wondering why.
She eventually gave in and sat down, James besides her. “I don’t know where to start from.”
“Just say the first thing that comes to your mind,” said James with a light smile patting her hand affectionately.
“I’m not angry at him, or rather I don’t know whether I am or not or whether I should be or not. But I do know I’m angry at her. She hates me, she’s ever hated me. Since we were kids she had to have what I had, things, people…whatever.” Emma took a deep breath and went on speaking. “It was as if she wanted to show that she deserved them more than me or that she was better than me. When she ‘stole’ my first boyfriend she made me feel worthless and this is the way I feel now too. There must be something wrong with me.”
James gave a short laugh and putting his arm round her, he pulled her towards him. “Nothing’s wrong with you, believe me. I think that maybe your sister just wants to be like you and she’s always thought she can by getting or stealing your things. But the good thing about this is that she can’t be you simply ‘cos you’re unique.”
“Oh please, don’t start now!” she pushed him away jokingly, but he pulled her again closer with his arm.
“You don’t start. I’m not saying this to impress or flatter you, but ‘cos that’s what people who know you think. So, give up thinking you’re worthless and give up thinking of your sister. The more I learn about her, the more I despise her.”

Two weeks later.

James was having a pint with some of his mates in a pub. Arsenal match for the Uefa Champions League had just finished and they were talking about Gunners’ victory. All of a sudden, a girl entering the pub caught James’s attention. His eyes followed her while going and sitting at the bar. He excused himself and went closer to her carrying his pint. He patted her on the shoulder and when she turned over he said,
“Hi Emma! You in a pub on a Tuesday evening…can’t believe my eyes!”
She said hi back looking at him steadily. He sat by her side.
“Are you waiting for anyone?”
“No. I just felt like having a pint and I came here.”
“So you don’t mind me keeping you company.”
She lifted her beer and drank a bit of it. She went closer and whispered in his ear in a very sensual voice, “Not at all!”
“Are you ok?” asked James looking at her perplexed,
“Yes, I am. Why?”
He shrugged. “Dunno, you look strange.”
“How long have we known each other?”
James looked up and rubbed his chin, “For three years more or less.”
“So you can say you know me well. Tell me, what should I do? Keep on wasting my time or keep on living?”

Hearing her speaking like that pleased him. She looked good and James was happy to see again that smile which lit up her face. They talked for one hour drinking and laughing as they had never done before. She rested her head over his shoulder and he stroked her wavy dark blonde hair gently.
“Hey? Don’t you dare fall asleep on my shoulder,” he said softly. “Come on, let’s take a cab. I fear I’ll have to put you to bed.”
She lazily raised her head and threw her arms round his neck, “Let’s go to your place instead.”
He stared at her for a while before bursting out giggling. “You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re sa…”
She silenced him with a sweet kiss.
“Emma we should talk…”
“Shh!” she placed her index on his lips, “We’ve talked enough.” She gasped his hand and they left.

Next morning.

The piercing ring of his home telephone woke him abruptly. He tossed in bed before his stretched arm searched for the receiver.
“Morning sleepyhead! I know I know, it’s just 9am…Sorry to wake you up in the dead of the night, but Martin wants you here!” said a cheerful female voice.
“Who’s speaking?” he mumbled half asleep.
“Oh boy! Someone had fun last night!” she burst out laughing. “How much have you been drinking?”
He knew that laugh too well to mistake it for someone else’s. No. It couldn’t be her. She still was sleeping beside him. He was dreaming. Yes, he was.
“Bradders? Are you there?”
Bradders. She liked calling him with that nick. He found himself unable to utter a sound. He was petrified. It was her. He was sure now.
“Emma…”
“Yeah, just me! Listen Bradders, get out of bed and take a cold shower. I’ll make some strong coffee for you. You need it, definitely!”

He immediately found the strength to jump out of bed and fled to shower. He then wore his robe and went to the lounge. Her handbag was over the sofa. With his trembling hands, he opened it and took her purse out. He found her driving licence at once. Ethel S. Wright. He threw the purse against the wall and paced the floor restlessly, his head in his hands. He rushed back to his room, gathered her clothes and threw them over her waking her.
“Hey? What the fuck…” she moaned removing the clothes from off her face.
“Get dressed and piss off!” he ragged at her.
“Good morning to you too,” she said sarcastically. “Are you always so lovely on morning?”
“How can you be so wicked? You don’t have the least scruple about hurting her. What the hell has her done to you? Why you hate her so much?”
“Ooh! It was that saint of my twiny on phone a while ago!” she said with a hint of a pleased smile on her face.
She could thank God for being a woman otherwise he would have hit her. Her insolence made him sick.
“You seemed not to complain last night when you were shagging me,” she spat.
“’Cos I thought you were her!” His voice turned louder and angrier. “If I had known the truth, I’d have stayed miles away from you. You can be sure of it!” He looked for some clean clothes and when he was about to leave the room he said, “Just to make things clearer: last night I was making love to her not you.”
That didn’t make him feel any better. How could he face Emma now? Her sister left his flat slamming the door behind her. He collapsed on the sofa cupping his face in his hands and burst out crying.

Martin was talking to one of the employees out of his office. James entered it and went by the window. Martin followed him one moment later closing the door. He greeted James but got no reply.
“Is it alright?” he asked pouring some coffee into two mugs. Not a syllable was spoken by James. Martin went closer and saw that his friend’s eyes were red from crying.
“I did something horrible,” said James in a shaking voice looking out of the window. “How could I do this to her?” Martin was understandably confused. He urged James to explain. James roamed the room and started speaking frantically. “Last night I was having a pint with Stan and the other guys when I saw her entering. I swear to God I was sure it was her. I said ‘hi Emma’ and she said hi back. We chatted and had a few more pints. We were both pissed and she wanted us to go at my place. Then this morning she phoned me and…” he stopped suddenly.
“Oh Jesus,” exclaimed Martin, “it was her sister! Oh fuck James, you slept with her sister!”
“I know this!” he yelled. He kept wandering the room shaking his head. “How can I face her now? How?”
“I don’t know,” said Martin in a sad voice watching his friend sympathetically. “But you must tell her before she knows it from somebody else.”
After a knock at the door, Emma came in. “Hey Bradders! How are you doin’?” James excused himself leaving Martin’s office quickly without looking at her. She immediately saddened. “Is he angry at me ‘cos I woke him?”
Martin watched her trying to give her a reassuring smile but failed. “He’s not, don’t worry. I’m sorry, I can’t tell you anything. Leave him alone for a while. He’ll talk to you soon.”

Emma was already in bed asleep that night when the bell forced her to get up and answer. She opened the door and saw James, his hair and jacket wet with rain. He only glanced at her for one instant before she let him enter. He apologised for popping over that late.
“James, you scared me this morning. What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you that miserable.” He spoke no word looking at nothing. “James please, say something.”
He had spent the whole day trying to find the right words to tell her but he had come to nothing. He knew that any words he would use, he would break her heart. It was something that made him feel horrible.
“I met your sister last night,” he began quietly, “I believed it was you…”
“James…NO!” She whispered while her eyes filled with tears immediately. She looked at him shaking her head. “She was next to you this morning…”
He went closer. “Please Emma let me…”
“WHY JAMES?” she screamed, “WHY?”
“I…I…”
“Go away!” she said as tears rolled down her face.

Part 2 >>>

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