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| LOOKING FOR SOME HAPPINESS by Enola PART 2 One month later… Joanne had finally took up the reins of her life again. She hadn’t heard from Keith any more and that relieved her. After three years of relationship, being single again, she was ready to enjoy her life as better as she could. That was the best way to make up the years he had spent with his boyfriend. Just then she realized that he had changed her and didn’t know how she had allowed him to. His friends were more than happy about this new change, or rather, it was a return to past. The true Joanne was back…but something still had to happen. One Sunday, at Nicky’s, during the lunch Nicky had noticed something strange in both James and Alice. Even later, when they all were having tea in the lounge, Nicky noticed their looks full of excitement and tenderness. “May we know what they fuck happen to the two of you today?” he said. James and Alice blushed slightly and looked at each other without avoiding smiling and giggling. Then James whispered something to her and she just nodded. “Erm…me and Alice…” began James squeezing her hand and watching her in between, “well, erm…we’re getting married!” Nicky sprang immediately to his feet and hugged his friend patting him on the back and congratulated him. Joanne watched James carefully while Nicky and Rachel expressed all their happiness. He looked blissful. She had never seen him smiling that widely. Although she knew in the deep of her heart that he deserved to be happy more than anybody else, she felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. She only managed to say ‘That’s beautiful. Be happy’, then she took Clara in her arms and went to the kitchen with the pretext to give her some water. Some moments later Nicky entered saying he still couldn’t believed that James was getting married and that those were the best news in ages. Joanne suddenly felt his eyes filling with tears but she strained to fight them back while Nicky couldn’t stop talking and chuckling, then she gave the child to him and rushed upstairs leaving him speechless. She locked herself in the bathroom where she burst out crying. Nicky knocked at the door one minute later pleading with her to let him enter. She wiped the tears from her eyes as better as she could then opened the door. “It’s alright, don’t worry.” She hastened to explain. Nicky went closer and lifted her head, “These tears say the contrary. Why you didn’t tell me?” “Tell you what?” she said getting annoyed, “You know. You feel something for James…” “NO, NO, NO…don’t say…don’t even think that!” She started crying again. “It can’t happen Nick…we’ve grown up like brother and sister…it wouldn’t be fair.” “Joanne, listen to me…” said Nicky, “there’s nothing wrong with it. Nobody would blame you for that. We’d be happy for you both, all of us.” “Fuck Nick! Did you see him earlier? Did you see that look of joy in his eyes? I can’t do this to him. Please Nick, please, promise you won’t tell anybody. Not even Rachel.” Nicky promised although he didn’t agreed with her. Joanne was convinced that that was the best thing to do for everybody. James loved Alice and they would marry soon. She just had to ignore him for a while. That worked during the first couple of weeks. Joanne avoided to see him and even to talk to him on phone. He had called her twice but both times she managed to ‘get rid of him’. The first time, she said the battery of her mobile was almost flat so she couldn’t speak much; the second she invented a talk with her pupils’ parents. One day she was at Nicky’s when he arrived. Entering, he saw her putting her coat on. He protested saying he hoped to talk to her since they hadn’t seen for more then two weeks. She apologized promising they would soon. James took his jacket off and sat down on an armchair and after a while he spoke. “Nick, what’s up?” “Uh? What you mean?” “Don’t be such a prick! You know what I’m talking about.” Nicky stood up snorting. “I can’t tell you. I promised.” James got up as well and went closer to his friend raising his voice, “I don’t give a fuck if you promised. Is she alright?” “Erm…sort of!” “Nick…for heaven’s sake…” “OK! I kept my mouth shut once…I won’t do the same mistake again! She feels something for you.” “What? That can’t be true!” said James firmly shaking his head. “You didn’t see her crying the day you announced your wedding.” Said Nicky bitterly. “If you had told her three years ago…” James didn’t let him finish. He grasped his jacket and rushed away. That evening he went at Alice’s flat where they were supposed to have dinner. She noticed his unusual quietness during the meal that he hastened to explain saying he only was tired. That didn’t convince her at all. He looked thoughtful and worried. Put with his back against the wall, he eventually spoke. At hearing what Nicky had told him, Alice got angry. “I knew it would’ve happened! James, I’ll ask you for the last time and I want the truth. What do you feel for her?” James looked at his shoes unable to speak a word. For Alice that silence was enough. She said it was over and begged him to go away. He took refuge in a pub where he ordered three neat Jameson one after another. Afterwards, he caught a cab giving the driver Joanne’s address. She was going to sleep when she heard the bell. As she opened the door she immediately realized that he was pissed, either drunk or angry. She could smell alcohol in him and his eyes was full of rage. “Why Jo? How could you do this to me? Alice was the best thing I’ve ever had. I was happy at last. Why you always have to mess my life up?” She burst into tears as soon as he left slamming the door. Having washed her face, she got dressed and went out. A quarter later she was in front of a black door. Keith couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw her. He let her stepped in and held her in his arms. James had started to go again to pubs and clubs every evening. He felt lost. Alice wanted to have nothing to do with him. In less than one month he had reached the top of happiness then, suddenly, everything had fallen apart. He was chatting to some guys having the second drink. Somebody bumped against him from behind just when he was sipping it. His whiskey spilled onto his jacket making him go crazy. He turned and saw Joanne. Tears had melted her make-up which was trickling down her cheeks and one hand was over her mouth. Just one moment later he noticed that her bottom lip was bleeding, then he spotted Keith coming close but he stopped when he saw him. He went backwards and walked towards the exit. James chased after him. What Keith had done made his blood boil. Joanne ran after James and when she went out of the club she heard James screaming something at Keith, then he eventually punched him breaking his nose. Afterwards, James stopped a cab, opened the door and let her get in before him. During the ride they sat close to the windows leaving all the room possible between them. None of them spoke. Joanne knew he still was angry with her. He was angry, but not for the reason she believed. He was angry because he couldn’t understand how she could have gone back to Keith after all that he had done to her. James walked her to the door and asked if she was okay. As she nodded he turned and left. “James, I’m sorry!” she said aloud. He stopped and turned his head slightly. “I didn’t want this to happen. If only Nicky hadn’t realized that I…” “You what?” he cut her off. “You wouldn’t have told me, would you?” “Never. I just want you to be happy James. You can’t doubt it. Marry Alice. I know you’ll be happy with her.” She opened the door and stepped in. She slowly entered the bathroom and washed her face carefully. Her lip wasn’t bleeding any more but it was swollen and it hurt. She wore her pyjamas and slipped under the covers, then she heard the bell. It was James. He walked in saying he needed to know something, so he entered the kitchen, took some ice cubes and put them in a dishcloth. Having twisted the edges, he leant it gently over her cut making her shudder. She was unable to look him in the eye. He perceived her uneasiness so he went to the opposite side of the room. “Why did you go back to him?” he said breaking the silence. “He said he loved me…” “Love?” he began going closer again. He brushed her lip gently and looking at her in the eye then added upset, “Joanne, how can you call this love?” so he left. She opened her eyes lazily. She felt so awful and wouldn’t get out of the bed for any reason. Her lip still was a bit swollen and the pain was gone. She thought over what had happened the previous night. How could have her been so stupid? Hadn’t Keith harmed her enough? When James hit Keith for one moment she had thought he would have held her in his arms and would have never left her. On the contrary, he had been so cold. She had been just a stupid once again. While so many thoughts were running through her head, the door opened frightening her. ‘James?’ she thought. He apologized for scaring her and stepped it. He sat on her bed while she watched him speechless. Hadn’t he gone away? “How do you feel?” he asked. “Erm…confused…I guess!” He looked down and giggled. He explained he hadn’t left. He stayed next the door for about ten minutes and when he went back to the kitchen he found her asleep over the breakfast bar, so he put her to bed. “I slept on your sofa. I couldn’t go away.” He smiled shyly. “Well, I didn’t sleep that much actually. I had too many regrets. It’s just my fault…” “James don’t…” “Please, let me speak. It’s me that pushed you to Keith. I shouldn’t have been so hard. Nicky was right, I should’ve told you…” “What you should’ve told me?” He stood up and walked towards the window with his hands in his pockets. “It happened to me to when you told us Keith was moving here. Nicky knew, but I asked him not to speak to anybody!” Her jaw dropped opened. “I believed you would have laughed at me if I had told you. I knew I was just like a big brother to you. And I was sure that your mother would’ve hated me.” “She’s always had a weakness for you. You were his favourite pupil.” She smiled. “That’s not true. Nicky was.” “Yeah, ‘cos he was the brighter. But you were the kindest and the sweetest. And she’s happy you’ve not changed.” He went and sat again on her bed. He watched her and said, “What do you feel for me now?” She blushed and turned her face towards the window. “These past few days when he kissed me, I wished it was you. When he touched me, I wished it was you. When we made love, I…” she stopped, then looking at him she went on, “You?” “The fact I’m here should be enough as answer.” “Don’t you think I could need more?” James went closer slowly and hugged her tighter and tighter. Then he pulled away and brushed her injured lip again. “Does it hurt?” he whispered. As she shook her head, he placed his lips over hers and kissed her sweetly cupping her head in his hands. “Joanne, are you sure your mother won’t kill me for this?” A wide smile sprang to her lips, “You did it again,” she said softly. “What?” “You called me Joanne. Last night as well. You hadn’t ever done it before!” “Yeah, it’s true…but back to your mum…” She burst into laughs, “Darling, don’t be silly! We both adore you!!” “I adore you too gorgeous!” He kissed her again pushing her down on the bed making her shiver as his hand ran inside her pyjamas top. THE END. <<< Enola's stories |