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| ONE MORE CHANCE By Enola <<<< part 1 PART 2 I took his hand and we entered my flat. As soon as the door was locked, I kissed him eagerly. He pushed me against the wall letting his hand roaming beneath my pyjamas top. I moaned in his mouth when one was my breasts was captured and squeezed in his hand. “Maybe we’re running a bit, don’t ya think?” he said sucking on my lower lip. Although I knew from the playful tone of his voice that he was kidding, I gave some kind of a scowl at him that made him laugh. “I haven’t had sex for a couple of months. I definitely need it!” “This isn’t going to be just sex. You know that, don’t you?” I smiled at him fondling his cheek. “It’s nice hearing you saying that. Thank you.” We went to my bedroom and we made love. Later we lay in bed kissing and cuddling. I had never felt that good. He had been incredible, very passionate but also tender and caring. For the first time I felt truly loved. “What are you thinking about?” he asked as he stroked my hair gently. “I was thinking about yesterday. You were very cold.” “And you wonder why?” he laughed. “1) You were the last person I ever expected to meet here; 2) when I saw you I realised my feelings for you were still alive; 3) knowing that you were married affected me so deeply; 4) I was so fucking angry at myself for pushing you away eight years ago; 5) I was aware that it was too late to go back and make up for it. Is my answer enough exhaustive? Now tell me why you’ve never told Martin who you were.” I propped myself up on one elbow and shrugged, “I don’t know why. Perhaps because I hoped I would’ve found a way to avoid meeting you all.” “You didn’t want to meet me ‘cos you were afraid of finding out if you still were in love with me, right?” I smiled at him sweetly and put my lips over his. “I was afraid because I didn’t know that you also were in love with me yet. Now I no longer am.” “Now I want to know something else. Tell me about that night.” “I have already…” “Well, you told me that you drove me home and put me to bed. Now I’d like having more details about what happened later…y’know, whether I was nice or rough and stuff like that.” “Okay…I fear you’re not going to like what I’m about to say. You didn’t last long…” “What?! Don’t tell me I fell asleep!” he covered his face with his hands deeply ashamed of himself. “You were drunk honey,” I said sweetly kissing his forehead snuggling up to him. “But it was nice. Just being close to you was.” I scattered several soft kisses on his smooth chest, my hand roaming beneath the sheet looking for something. James sighed when I found it. “What are you doing?” he giggled, “I want to touch you,” I said holding him in my hand. “Dammit, I didn’t remember you that huge!” I saw him turning a bit red in the cheeks. “I need to take a closer look at you.” “Nooooo! Forget it!” “Come on, don’t play the shy boy with me now!” I took the sheet and uncovered him until his thighs. “Oh dear! I’m starting having some naughty thoughts!” I looked at him again. He still was blushing but he had a pleased smile across his face. “Would you mind if my thoughts came to life?” I asked innocently. “I think I wouldn’t mind at all!” I licked his precum off slowly and took him in my mouth. I saw him arching his back, soft moans escaped from his mouth while his hand stroked my hair gently. He had got bigger and harder as I sucked at him. He asked if I wanted him to come in my mouth and I simply nodded my head. He kissed me on the forehead once I had done with him. He thanked me for making him feel wonderfully. I gave him a sweet smile saying that I had done it for me as well since my husband had never wanted me to do it. A huge grin sprang across his face. He was extremely pleased to know that that ‘fucking sod’ had never put his ‘rotten cock’ inside my lovely mouth. “Don’t you think it would be polite if you returned me the favour?” “I was thinking to, ya know, I’m a gentleman after all!” He winked at me as his hand was already between my legs. He captured my mouth and kissed me hungrily biting tenderly my bottom lip. His fingers played with my sex making me groan in his mouth. Slowly he slid under the sheets, his lips brushing my skin with soft kisses, his hands grabbed me by the hips and finally his mouth stopped over my wet sex. He licked and sucked at me as nobody had ever done before. I bucked my hips clinging on the sheets, I pleaded with him not to stop until I came. “I’d better go now,” he whispered kissing me on the lips, “No please, don’t go!” I protested in a childish voice. “You can’t leave me alone just now.” “I’m so sorry babe. You dunno how much I’d want to stay here with you till tomorrow, but I can’t. I’ve got to get up early, shower, shave and stuff.” I sulked for a moment. He smiled at me sweetly brushing my lips with his fingertips, then he kissed me again. “Let’s make a pact,” I suggested, “I’ll let you leave but just after having made love again.” He looked at me with a pleased grin over his face. “Me thinks that’s a pretty fair pact!” I stared at him as he got dressed, he noticed it and smiled at me one of those childlike smiles of his. Before going away he sat on the bed next to me and rubbed my back. He then bent forward and kissed me. For the first time that evening he said he loved me and that made me the happiest woman of the universe. March 17, 2004 – Wednesday I was impatient to arrive to the recording studios. When I entered my office the door closed and when I turned around I saw James smiling at me. He locked the door and came closer, his eyes stared at me full of lust. He put one hand on my back and the other on the nape of the neck and pulled me closer towards him. I immediately opened my lips as he kissed me allowing his tongue to invade my mouth. He then pushed me against the wall and lifted my skirt up. I sighed when I felt his hardness against my groin. “I’ve got just ten minutes,” he mumbled into my mouth. “We’ve got to be quick.” I stepped off my knickers once he had lowered them until my ankles. I heard his trousers zip going down and a moment later he was inside me. We had to go on kissing to silence our own moans of delight. He returned again around 2pm. I had just got our lunch I had ordered from the Indian restaurant, but he didn’t even need to persuade me into delaying the meal. We just couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We wanted each other so badly again and, being carried away, we almost got undressed completely. It wasn’t only pure sexual desire, it was our need to caress, kiss, hug and cuddle the other. That evening we all went and ate out. James and I sat side by side since we both knew that if we had sat opposite we wouldn’t have taken our eyes off each other for an instant. Nicky, Sean and Martin looked as if they knew that something was going on between the two of us. I was certain that James had told them nothing. He had always been unwilling to talk about his private life even to me, I always had to work hard to make him spit things out. I caught the guys watching me several times, a hint of a pleased smiles on their faces. But I had not to worry about that. I knew them too well, they would never dare speak a word about it the presence of my boss and colleagues. I went away around 9.30pm – it had been a long ‘wearing’ day! As I was saying bye to everyone, James stood up and offered to walk me to my car. I blushed when I heard Nicky clearing his throat and saw him exchanging a collusive look with Sean. As we left the restaurant James grabbed my hand and kissed me in the forehead. Once we reached the subterranean parking below the recording studios building, he pushed me against the car door and we eventually abandoned ourselves to passion kissing frantically. “We could do it,” he whispered, his voice full of excitement, his eyes sparkling with lust. I giggled clinging onto his coat, “Are you mad? That’s a parking. Someone might see us!” “There’s nobody now” “Believe me honey, I also feel like making love to you again, but not in here!” He gave me one of his sad puppy looks that made me feel as if I had been cruel at him. “Please, don’t look at me like this!” I whined cupping his chubby smooth face in my hands. He then gave me a tender little smile and kissed me whilst stroking my hair. “That means you’re not angry at me?” “I am not sweetie. See you tomorrow.” We kissed again, then I got into my car and drove away waving and smiling at him. March 18, 2004 – Thursday I was going to have lunch out with Gillian, my assistant, when I heard James calling my name. I stopped and told Gillian to go ahead, I would join her in a minute. “Would you please tell me what’s going on?” he said in a low voice. He sounded rather annoyed. “Nothing,” I whispered looking down. “Nothing? I called you last night and this morning but your fucking mobile and home phone were off. I left you tons of messages but you never replied. Then you got late today and we didn’t get the chance to meet. Are you ignoring me or what?” I didn’t say anything because that wasn’t the right place where to talk. “Let’s go to my office.” I closed the door but I still didn’t know what to say. James stayed akimbo in the middle of the room. I felt his upset look on me. “I found Carl at home last night – I didn’t expect him to be there. He had made us dinner and was a bit sad I had already eaten. We talked a lot about so many things. He said he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. He also suggested having a holiday together in a few weeks’ time.” “What are you trying to tell me?” His angry voice froze me. “You had sex with him, didn’t you?” “Fuck! Yes, I did. He’s my husband!” I ragged at him, “I want our marriage to work out.” “He’s your husband. GOOD! What the hell am I then? What the hell was I yesterday when we made love in here? What the hell was I the evening before in your bed?” I was unable to speak again. “You only wanted to take your revenge on me for that night eight years ago, didn’t you? Well done, you did it.” He reached for the door and went on speaking harshly, “I truly believed you were different. I was wrong. You’ve been just a good screw like all the others, nothing but this. He won’t ever change Siân. I won’t be there when you’ll realise it.” He opened the door and stormed off. Less than a couple of hours later Nicky came to my office. “Have you seen James?” he asked. “I…I…” I could just stutter whilst thinking of something to say. “We’ve looked for him everywhere and his phone’s off.” “I don’t know what to say,” I mumbled nervously. At that very moment also Sean arrived. “He’s at the hotel – packing. He said he’s going back to London.” “But we still haven’t finished!” shrieked Nicky. “What the fuck’s wrong with me? He’s been grumpy all morning!” “I don’t know Nick,” said Sean shaking his head, “but we have to go to the hotel and talk to him.” They both kept silent for a moment and I realised that they were looking at me. “Siân what’s happened?” said Nicky coming closer. I couldn’t control myself any longer and burst out crying. “It’s my fault, I hurt him,” I sobbed out. “But I didn’t mean to. I don’t know why I did it. How could I do this to him?” “Hey hon, calm down.” Nicky rubbed my back and kissed my hair. “We’ve got no time for details now, but you must tell us later, ok? We’ve got to go and stop that crazy prick!” I tried to work and keep my mind busy but all my efforts were vain. I looked at my watch every minute, time seemed not to go by. About one hour and a half later I learned from Gillian that the guys had just got back. I could breathe a sigh of relief. Nicky came back to me around 7pm. We sat on the sofa and he took my hand. He said James was fuming with rage and didn’t say a word about his decision to leave. He only said that he didn’t either want to see me or speak to me. Nicky then asked me to tell him what had happened between James and me. “It’s not that easy, there’s a lot to say.” I said resting my head on my hand, my looking at nothing. “I always have plenty of time for a friend.” I managed to smile lightly. “Eight years ago, before I left UK, me and James spent one night together. I was so in love with him. But he was drunk that night and on morning said it had been a mistake ‘cos I was just a friend to him.” “Um, so that’s the true reason why you went away.” “Yeah. But on Tuesday, when he came to me, he told me that he hadn’t been sincere. He also loved me but wasn’t ready for a new relationship. He hurt me for the second time and I was mad at him. At the same time I desperately needed him and couldn’t let him go.” “Fine. That’s what happened on Tuesday. Yesterday things were okay when you left the restaurant…so I’m confused.” “Me and Carl made love last night. I didn’t expect him to be at home. He was so caring, said that he had missed me to death and that felt like going away with me on a short holiday. At that very moment I thought ‘here’s my husband, the man I love’. I was so happy. He hugged and kissed me and before I could realised it we were in bed.” “So now James believes that you’ve revenged yourself on him.” “I betrayed him Nick, that’s the point.” Tears started rolling down my cheeks. “I betrayed him ‘cos he truly loved me. On the contrary, I’ve never betrayed Carl ‘cos he’s never loved me like every husband should love his wife. He’s never made me feel loved like James has done in these few days.” “Do you love him? Carl I mean.” “No. I can’t love him after all that he’s done to me can I? But James…oh Nick, I’ve never given up loving him. I love him more than I used to do eight years ago, but there’s nothing I can do ‘cos the man I’ll keep loving for the rest of my life loathes me and has every right to.” “He has to know all this.” “But he doesn’t want to talk to me.” “I know, but don’t you worry. I’ll do it even at the cost of tying him to a chair.” March 19, 2004 – Friday Returning to my office from the ladies, Gillian told me that Tony had just called – he wanted me up to the studios at once. I walked back towards the lifts and pressed the button. My hands was shaking. Sean was out talking on phone close to the door, he waved and smiled at me as he saw me. When I went in I saw Tony talking to Martin through the glass, James and Nicky were putting their instruments away. When Tony saw me he beckoned to me to enter. I hesitated for a moment then stepped in saying hello. Nicky and Martin replied warmly with a smile, James acted as if I had never got. “Siân here you are,” smiled Tony “What happened to your lip?” asked Martin with a puzzled look. “My lip?” I stuttered, “Um, nothing. Just herpes.” I added trying to smile. “We have just finished and are going to have a farewell lunch,” said Tony, “go and fetch your bag. We’ll wait for you outside.” “Erm…I…I’m sorry, I think I’ll not join you. I’m not feeling alright.” “Oh sorry to hear that. I have to say that you look quite tired. Go home and take some rest. I’ll see you on Monday.” “Ok, thanks Tony.” As I was saying goodbye to Martin I saw James leaving. I was on the verge of tears and Nicky noticed it. “I spoke to him, but you know James. He can be as stubborn as a mule.” “Thank you all the same Nick.” “But I’ll try again. You don’t want to tell me anything about your lip? That’s not herpes at all.” “Sorry to disappoint you, but I’ve got nothing to say.” As soon as I got home I went straight to the bathroom and filled the tub – a hot bath was just what I needed. I took my clothes off slowly and poured some bubble bath into the tub. I removed my make-up with some cleanser rubbing my face so hard that my wounded lip started to bleed. I let the blood go for a moment whilst looking at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t bear the thought of James hating me. The insistent ringing of the door bell woke me up. I glanced at the alarm clock on my bedside table – 5.42pm. Almost a couple of hours had gone by before I could manage to fall asleep, and, just when I had finally found some peace, somebody came to bother my rest. Who the hell was it? I was in no mood for having visitors. I got up unwillingly and re-arranged my bathrobe, then walked barefoot to the door snorting in annoyance. I looked through the peephole first. James! My heartbeat went faster, I felt swear on my forehead. I eventually opened the door. I didn’t dare watch him. “May I come in?” I said nothing and let him enter closing the door. “Did he do it before?” His voice was full of resentment. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said apathetically. “He’s beaten you and don’t even try to deny it.” “It’s not how you think,” I said crossing the room, my body shivering beneath my loose bathrobe. “For fuck’s sake stop it,” he seized me by the arm, “stop justifying him once and for all.” “We argued last night – I lost control and I hit him first, then he hit me back. That’s not anything else to say. He’s an unfaithful husband, but he’s not a violent person. He had never smacked me before.” He let my arm go and after a few moments of silence I went on speaking. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, you must believe me. I’ve always fucked things up, haven’t I? If I hadn’t followed you to London, nothing of this would have ever happened. I would’ve never come here and met Carl.” “Leave him.” “Yep, I think I will. I’ve got tired of him.” “Come back to London with me.” I couldn’t manage to believe that he had really said those words. I kept motionless and silent by the window. “Did you hear what I said?” He was close to me now. He moved some hair from my face but I still couldn’t look into his eyes. “I can’t,” I whispered shaking my head slowly. “Why? I don’t understand. We could start again.” “I’ve already lost you twice, losing you again would kill me.” My eyes were brimming over with tears. He pulled me towards him gently. “Who says it’ll happen again? I don’t either wanna lose you. Never again.” I tightened my arms around him and let tears go. At that very moment a frightening thought crossed my mind. Perhaps I was still asleep and that was nothing but a dream. After all, that was just what I had wanted him to say two days ago. If he had asked me to go back to London things would have gone differently. That night, finding Carl at home, I would have told him it was over, or rather, that in reality it had never begun. I had only thrown away four years of my life with the hope that he would have changed one day and that we would have lived happily ever after. He pulled away a bit and wiped my tears with his thumbs, so he kissed me on the forehead. “It’s a yes?” “Yes, but I can’t come with you at once. I’ve got to give four weeks’ notice.” “Four weeks?” grimaced James rolling his eyes. “If you talk with Tony maybe he can make an exception.” “I don’t think he can. He needs me.” “Oh Siân, I need you too, and so much more than him!” His words made me smile. They were the proof that I was awake and everything was for real. He had forgiven me. “I need you too James. You don’t know how much I need you but we’ve got to be patient. it’s going to be hard, I do know, but we’ve got to deal with it.” James stared at me for a long moment, his eyes so full of tenderness and love. His warm hand fondled my cheek, then I felt his thumb brushing my cut lip. “Does it hurt?” “Nope, not much. But it bleeds every now and again.” “Dammit! That means I can’t kiss you wildly, bite into your lips and stuff like that.” I giggled, “Ahem, no. I think you’d better not to.” “I’ll have to be gentle then, I need to kiss you right now,” he breathed before his lips met mine. I had never been kissed that sweetly. “Forget what I said yesterday morning, okay?” I nodded my head with a little smile. “I don’t blame you for that. I had just told you that I wanted my marriage to work out. I don’t even know why I said that.” “It doesn’t matter anymore. Remember what I said earlier, let’s start again. Let’s not look back on what has happened. Once you’ll be in London everything will be alright.” “Okay,” I hugged him as tight as I could. “I love you James, more than ever.” He rubbed my back and stroked my hair. “I know love. Nick told me hundreds of times. He nearly kicked my arse for rejecting you eight years ago.” “It wasn’t you the one who said not to look back on the past?” “Oops! It won’t happen again!” “I’ve got to say that I’d pay to see Nick kicking your arse!” He burst out laughing, “You minx! But I love you all the same, I really do.” Part 3 >>> <<< Enola’s stories |