OUR MANICS IN 1985  by Enola

PART 1

Blackwood was a quiet coalmining town. In Crafton Road lived Monty and Sue Bradfield. They had a 16-year-old son called James. With then lived also Sean,  Sue’s sister’s son, who moved there when his parents split up. Jenny Moore was sure that the best thing for his child was growing up in a solid family as the Bradfields’s was. Both only children, James and Sean grew up like brothers, loving and hating each other. They shared James’ room which had been supplied with bunk beds: top bed was James’s while bottom bed was Sean’s.

The two cousins were quite different: James was kind, sensitive and a bit shy. Being cross-eyed, he used to get teased about that. Among all the kids who were used to laugh at him there was also Sally Davies, a 15-year-old girl who lived opposite the Bradfields. She looked at least three years older and was famous in the whole town for going out with a different boy, usually a lot older than her, every week or so. His best mate Nicky was teaching him to play guitar, something that he did with a lot of passion and diligence, and every weekend he busked in Cardiff streets. On the contrary, Sean was untalkative and a bit sullen, probably because of his parents’ divorce. His unique interest were trumpet and his girlfriend Rhian.

At the opposite end of the mining town, lived the Joneses. Nicky was only one month older than James to whom had been friend with since they were kids. Nicky was the best student from his class and one of the best from the whole Oakdale Comprehensive School. He was a weird kind of a boy. He successfully played football in the local team, and at the same time, loved female clothes and make-up, something he had in common with his great friend Richey Edwards. At school the other boys used to tease him because of his effeminate looks and called him Shirley and Gaylord because of that. He was in love with a lovely girl called Rachel who had lived, for a short time, further down on the opposite side of the road. Nobody knew about that, or at least, that was what Nicky believed.

Richey was the strangest amongst the four. He was the eldest but the less interested in girls and drinking. He was in his last year of school and he had already planned to go studying history at college the following. His best companion was Snoopy, his beloved doggy, who all the others adored.

One morning, James and Nicky where entering their classroom when Rachel walked past them saying hello. As soon as the girl went away from them, James burst into laughing bothering his friend.
“Cut it out!” said Nicky.
“I can’t believe you still blush when she speaks to you!” said James amused. Nicky didn’t say anything. He neither knew why he reacted like that.
“You should make up your mind to ask her out once and for all!” went on James, “Friday there’s Will’s birthday party…”
“You think I should?” asked Nicky sceptical,
“C’mon Nicky, wake up! She likes you as much you like her!” said James tapping Nicky on the shoulder.

So, James was aware of what he felt for Rachel. Did anybody else realise that?
“If I should go there with her, you’ll have to go alone,” said Nicky a while later.
“Don’t worry, I’m not sure to go.”
“That’s because you don’t want to see her, right?”
“I don’t know who you’re talking about!”
“I’m talking about your sweet neighbour…she’s going out with Kevin Matthews this week…or it was last week?”
“I don’t give a shit about that bitch!”
“Yeah, you said right…she’s a bitch…and I can’t believe you can fancy her!”
“What did you say? Are you turned mad all of a sudden?”
“Call me mad, stupid…whatever you like…I’ve seen how you looked at her…you have sympathy for her.”
“Look, her life’s just been hell, so I don’t blame her. That’s all!”

But Nicky couldn’t know that. He didn’t live opposite her, he hadn’t ever heard her parents arguing screaming out like mad because her father, who couldn’t keep a job for more than one month, spent his time watching telly while her wife broke her back cleaning up houses and anything else she could every single day. Then, one day, dead tired of his wife’s complaints, Sally’s dad left and never came back home. Nicky had never heard Sally shouting all her contempt at her mother who she considered the only culpable. Consequently, her daughter’s hate pushed her towards alcohol abuse, something that made things between the two even worse.

As every afternoon, Nicky was in his bedroom doing his homework. He liked studying and although he was an excellent student that didn’t mean he spent all his time out of school among books. Reading things twice was enough to him. he had a natural predisposition to studying. He was a bookworm, there wasn’t any doubt about that. He read anything: history and philosophy books, autobiographies, novels, poems…His favourite writers were Camus and Orwell. But that day he found hard reading properly. He stopped after each sentence to think of what James told him at school. His friend was right. He had to ask Rachel to go to Will’s party with him. That was the thing he wanted most and he was about to do it thousands of times but, in the end, he never managed to. Why was it so difficult? When they were children spent a lot of time playing and watching telly together, then, the more they grew up the more he found hard to look at her straight in the eye. When she smiled at him he felt like collapsing. Staring at his open book, he proposed doing it the following day.

When he arrived at school spotted James and Sean sitting in a bench, so he joined them. After soom minutes, he saw Rachel and Rhian getting close to them. Both the girls said hello, so Sean and Rhian kissed and went away holding each other hands. Rachel sat next to Nicky but nobody spoke for a bit, then James stood up and grasping his books he said,
“See ya later inside,” then he winked at his friend and said bye to Rachel.

Once alone with her, Nicky realised his hands were sweating, so nervously rubbed them on his trousers and began speaking timidly,
“Rachel…”
“Yes?”
He watched her and as he saw her smile he couldn’t go on.
“Do you want to tell me something?” she asked with his soft lovely voice,
“Yeah…” he giggled, “ahem…your…your eyeshadow is lovely…I love it!” He grinned, even though he’d have preferred to smash his head against that stone bench!!

When he entered school, James was next to their classroom door. Nicky kept his head down as he got close, so James understood he hadn’t asked Rachel out.
“You fucking twat!” he snarled, “ You’re just a hopeless case!!”
Nicky went straight to his seat and collapsed in his chair snorting, disappointed with himself. But as the lunch break started, he rushed out. He stopped in front of Rachel’s classroom and waited for her to come out. She saw him immediately,
“Nicky!” she smiled going close to him.
“You’re going to Will’s party, aren’t you?” he went straight to the point this time.
“Yes, of course!”
“And…are you going with anybody?”
“Yes…”
“Oh!” he exclaimed turning sad,
“With Paula and Wendy!” As he heard those words his eyes lighted up. She went on, “I’d rather go with a boy…but nobody asked me!”
“We might go together…if you like!” he said timidly.
“Yep, it’d be lovely!!” she smiled, “I’m sure Paula and Wendy won’t mind!”

They arranged to see at her house at 7pm, so Nicky rushed to James and as he spotted him, he screamed his name,
“She said YES!!” he grinned almost jumping for joy.
“Well done mate! I knew you could do it!” said James tapping him on the shoulder.

The day of Will’s party, Nicky went back home from school but he couldn’t study as he usually did. He was over-excited at the thought of his first date with Rachel. He wore his favourite clothes, tight white Levi’s and sneakers, then he spent about a hour in front of the mirror doing his hair. The, just before leaving, he picked up the phone and called James.

“My stomach aches!” he whined,
“Oh dear! That you’re a hopeless case I’ve already told you! C’mon Nick, she’s Rachel not a stranger…you’ve known each other for almost ten years…everything will be alright!”
“I know…” said Nicky disheartened.
“But I’m not the right person for giving this kind of pieces of advice…” went on James,
“Don’t worry, you helped. Thank you. I’ll see you there?”
“Nope. I’m going to Richey’s in a minute. Have fun!”

James managed to cheer Nicky up, so he finally leaved. Once arrived at Rachel’s house, he rang the bell and her mum opened the door letting him come in. Both Rachel’s parents welcomed him warmly something that helped him to relax. Rachel’s dad invited Nicky to make him company while his daughter finished to get ready, so they began to chat friendly. He asked the boy the usual stuff: How are your parents? How’s going school? What about your team?…Then he said,
“I was glad to know Rachel was going to the party with you.”
Nicky could just smiled at him slightly blushing. In a while Rachel appeared so he got up saying hello. Rachel’s dad kissed his daughter, shook Nicky’s hand and wishes them to enjoy themselves.
“Your parents are kinder and kinder!” said Nicky as soon as they went out.
“They like you!” said Rachel.

In the meantime, James was walking towards Richey’s house. He had no friends at school a part from Nicky, Sean and Richey so he didn’t see why he should have gone to that party now that Nicky had finally asked Rachel out. As he entered Richey’s room, Snoopy ran towards him wagging his tail. James went on his knees and started stroking the dog while Richey looked at them smiling. He was lying in his bed reading a book of Rimbaud’s poems and having a cigarette. He threw the packet to James who took one and lit it up.

Nicky and Rachel had already got at the party when two boys started fighting. Just a moment later Nicky recognised them: Kevin Matthews and Brian Stowe, two 20-year-old boys. A bit later he learned also that the cause for that fight was Sally Davies who was almost totally pissed and could hardly keep stand.

When some other guys managed to separate the fighters, everybody kept doing what they were before the accident. Nicky and Rachel were about to get something to drink. At that point Rachel said she had a confession to make. She had lied when she told Nicky that nobody had asked her to go to the party. She added that a couple of boys did, but she told them that somebody else had done it even though that wasn’t true. She wanted to go there only with one boy, with him. She would have invited him in the end, but she was happy he did it before. Nicky apologised to her for his hesitation saying he was too scared that she could say no or, even worse, that she was going with another boy.

“I couldn’t have,” she said. “Nobody’s like you!”
“I can say the same of you.”
Having danced and laughed like mad, they decided going away. Nicky held her hand until they got at her house. They stayed out of the door talking in a soft voice. Rachel thanked him for the beautiful evening spent together. He smiled at her going closer and he whispered,
“I hope your dad isn’t watching us ‘cos I’m about to…” he stopped to kiss her sweetly cupping her face in his big skinny hands.
“I’ve been wondering the whole day whether you should have done it or not!” she said.
He laughed in a lovely way. “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids,” he confessed.
“Me too!”

They kissed goodnight, so Nicky walked away. He stopped after a few steps and called her name. When she turned he said,
“I think that I’ll marry you one day!”
She went closer and held him whispering in his ear,
“Nothing could ever make me happier!”

He walked home with a big grin in his face. He could hardly believed what have just happened. He was happy as he had never been, as he had never thought one could be.

Also James was walking home after spending a few hours with Richey doing not much in reality. They didn’t talk much, James wasn’t in the right mood to. They had only exchanged their opinions about several books, while he was reading as well. He didn’t take the same way he had to reach Richey’s house but walked just in front of Will’s but he didn’t even know why. After some minutes some noises caught his attention. He didn’t manage to understand either what they were or where they came from. After a few steps those noises became clearer. It sounded like somebody whining, but since he couldn’t see much because of darkness, he kept walking in that direction until he saw a shadow and heard a male voice saying,

“C’mon baby, I know you want it too!” Afterwards, James heard that whining again and kept walking and when he was aware of what was happening he shouted,
“Hey you! Let her go!” That guy didn’t care about his warning at all, so James went closer quickly grasping him from behind.
“What the fuck…” The guy got angry pushing him away with strength although he was totally drunk. “Bradfield…is you! Piss off Crossfire!! Provided that you wanna help me…” In a while James recognised him: Brian Stowe.
“Dirty pig!” ragged James pushing him. At that point Brian punched James who staggered for a moment.
“I warned you!” snarled Brian. James flung Brian to the wall and hit him on the stomach like fury. He collapsed on his knees coughing while James kept watching him till he stood up suffering and walked away. Afterwards, James turned and saw the girl who was sitting crouched on the ground. He went closer and knelt asking if she was alright. She didn’t answer and he could just hear her weeping.

“Do you want me to ask for some help?” Since she didn’t speak, he went on, “Be right back!” so he stood up.
“NO! Please don’t do it!” she sobbed. At that very moment, hearing that voice, he recognised her.
“Sally!?”
After a short moment of disbelief, James was aware that he had to do something.
“You can’t stay here. Come, I walk you home!” he said kindly.

As soon as she stood up, her head spun, she felt sick and threw up a moment later. James tried to help her to keep stand but she didn’t want him to touch her. She felt a bit better later so she started walking. James followed her some steps behind. They got at their houses in five minutes’ time. James stopped to ask her again if she was fine, she only nodded and walked towards the door. She stopped before entering and called him,
“Please, don’t tell anyone about tonight.” He promised, so she came in.

As soon as he was at home and realised his parents were already sleeping, he went straight to the bathroom as he could hardly keep his left eye open. He had a big bruise all around the eye and it hurt only brushing it with his fingers. He went to the kitchen and opened the fridge where he hoped to find a beefsteak to put over his eye. Fortunately, he found what he was looking for, so sat in a chair and, having arched his head, leant the meat on his sore eye. After about half an hour he decided going to bed before Sean came back.

The next day, James was watching telly when the bell rang so he went and opened the door. It was Sally. She looked totally different to him since he wasn’t used to see her without any make-up and wearing blue jeans and loose sweaters.
“Are you alone?” she asked. He said he was so she stepped in. “Did you tell anyone…” she couldn’t finished because he cut her off,
“I promised I wouldn’t and I won’t tell anybody.”
“Why should I trust you after the way I’ve been treating you so far?”
“You don’t know me!” he simply replied.
“Who knows…maybe you repented of helping me last night…at the beginning you didn’t know who I was…if you would, you wouldn’t have ever done it…I know what people think about me…'Sally Davies? Who? That little slut who changes boyfriend every week?' I’m sure you’ve wondered why you helped me ‘cos now you think that probably I wanted it or that it was what I deserved…”
“As I said earlier, you don’t know me. I’d have helped you even if I had known it was you. But you’re free not to believe me.”
“It’s hard to believe it…You should hate me. I’ve always hated you. You, Sean and your perfect happy family. I’ve never heard your parents screaming at each other, but you can’t say the same about mine, can you?” She stepped towards the door and left.

The following day he was in his room playing his guitar on the floor when his mum called him, then opening the door, she said there was somebody who wanted to talk to him and in a while Sally appeared behind her. Sue told her to enter then left closing the door. In the meantime, James had stood up and placed his guitar on the floor against the wall.
“So this is your bedroom…” she said to break the ice.
“Yeah,” he mumbled slipping his hands in his pockets. “It’s rather small…ahem…you can sit here…this is Sean’s bed, but he won’t mind…” he said with a hint of a smile in his face.
“Don’t worry…I just came to apologise for…well, you know…for everything…I didn’t have any reason to tease and laugh at you…It isn’t your fault if my dad left and my mum drinks from dawn till dusk.” She said keeping her head down and wiping her eyes with her hands. “I’ve got to go now!”
“Hang on!” said James, “Why don’t you stay a bit?”

He sat in Sean’s bed and a moment later she joined him. They both kept silent for a while then suddenly she started crying. James didn’t know what to do since he had never been in a similar situation before. He just told her to give up but since it didn’t work, he had another idea. He grasped his guitar and said,
“Look, if you stop I’ll sing your favourite song!”
“Are you kidding?”
“Nope! So what’s your fave band…singer…?
“Wham!” she answered.
“Oh! Ahem…not sure if I know their songs!”
“Do you know ‘Careless Whisper’?
“Um, just a bit…I can try…but if I forget the words…and that’ll happen for sure…you must helped me!”
“Okay.”

He started brushing the chords of his guitar and he stopped singing after the first two lines, so she helped him to continue until he gave up when she began clapping her hands.
“Please stop it!” said James a bit embarrassed.
“You’re very good!”
“That’s not true!”
“I know you are. I’ve seen you lots of times busking in Cardiff!”
He didn’t expect that. “But you’ve never given me a single penny!”
“No, I haven’t!” she laughed. “I’m sorry for your eye. Does it hurt?”
“Um, not much…probably now I’m even more cross-eyed!”

She slowly moved her hand and fondled his face. “I don’t think you are!” she smiled going closer. She leant her lips on his so thy kissed. Unexpectedly, someone knocked at he door, so they broke the kiss. It was James’s mum who said her and Monty were going out and would come back in a couple of hours. When she left, they looked at each other without speaking, then went close again and kissed again.

“Your mum said they’re coming back in a couple of hours…right?” she whispered,
“Yeah, she said so.”
She kissed him again, so she took her sweater off and kept kissing him.
“Hang on…” said James,
“What’s up?”
“I don’t think we should,” he said nervously.
“You’ve never done it, have you?”
“Yes…erm…no, I haven’t!” he replied embarrassed.
“There’s nothing wrong in this…if you don’t want…”
“I want to. I’m sure!”
“Good! Look, it’s easier than one can think!” she smiled reassuring him. “You just have to let yourself go…all the rest will come…” she whispered kissing him in between. They helped each other to get undressed exchanging shy smiles and amused glances. “Are you sure Sean won’t mind us using his bed?”
“Don’t worry, he’ll never know!”

She lay pulling him gently towards her. He ran his fingers through her hair kissing her on the neck…Everything was fine…but suddenly, a noise…they heard the door opening…somebody whistling…they turned…SEAN!!! He went white as a sheet when he saw the scene. He rushed off slamming the door and a while later,
“JAAAMES!!” his voice thundered in the whole house, “GET OFF!! NOW!!”
“Shit! I think he got angry!” said Sally,
“Don’t worry, his bark is worse that his bite!” said James putting his trousers on. As soon as he left the room he saw his cousin leant against the wall. He looked furious. In a while he went close to James shaking his index threateningly,

“You…you little ass hole!” his spat, “How could you?…in my bed…with…with her!” he went on shaking his head in disbelief.
“Look Sean…you’ve got every reason to be angry…but please, don’t tell my parents!” Sean kept on watching him with a kind of if-only-I-could-strangle-you-Lord-knows-I’d-do-it look. “Please Sean, I’ll do whatever you like!” went on James begging his cousin.
“First thing: change those fucking sheets!” snarled Sean before rushing away.
When James entering his room again Sally had already get dressed.
“I’d better go!” She went closer and kissed him, so left.

On Monday when James got at school saw Nicky talking with Rachel, but as soon as his friend noticed him, he stopped speaking to the girl and went closer him.
“Please, tell me that what Sean told me a while ago is not true!”
“So, he didn’t waste his time…did you tell anyone?” Said James annoyed,
“No, don’t worry! I can’t believe you had sex with Sally Davies in Sean’s bed!!” Said Nicky starting laughing,
“Well, I’m not sure if we did…”
“Not sure of what?”
“That wanker got just when…ahem…we’ve just begun.” At that point, Nicky didn’t manage to control himself any longer. He burst into laughing loudly.
“I’m trying to imagine the scene…the two of you that kiss and touch all over…and Sean that enters and sees you…”
“Fuck off Nicky! Fuck off the both of you!” spat James going away.

The same day James and Sally walked home together after school since she had to talk to him. She thanked him again for everything he did for her and especially for the way he had behaved towards her the day before. She believed that, although they had spent a lovely time together, nothing more could happen between them. She had to deal with more important issues as taking care of her mum and rebuild the relationship with her since she was the only family she had. James understood and was happy to know she wanted to help her mother. They kept friends, then, when summer holidays began, Sally and her mother left. They had decided moving and restarting everything from the beginning in another place they didn’t know yet. James didn’t hear from her anymore. Then, one day, he met her by chance in London 18 years later…


PART 2 >>>


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