enola_silly-thoughts

SILLY THOUGHTS by Enola

Knock. Knock.

“Hey Cindy,” said Sean cheerfully entering Cynthia’s office, “Terri’s told me you’re having trouble with your printer.”
“Yep. I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with that darn thing,” she complained whilst sipping her hot coffee.
“What’s the problem?”
“It just refuses to print, or rather, it prints weird symbols. Have a look yourself.” Cynthia gathered a sheet she had crumpled up into a ball from the wastepaper basket. “Look how many sheets I’ve thrown away,” she said showing the wastepaper basket full of other crumpled sheets to Sean.
“I think it only needs to be re-installed. Do you have the CD?”
“Yes, it should be inside one of these drawers…let me see…that’s the right one?” asked Cynthia handing Sean a CD.
“Yep!”
“Good! Sit down in here and fix it before I kick it out of the window.”
“How come you’re so harsh today?”
“I’m not harsh!” she snapped as she got up to leave her chair to Sean.
“Oh no, you aren’t at all,” commented Sean sarcastically shaking his head. “What’s up?”
“That idiot! He forgot it!” Cynthia’s voice had now turned into a whine.
“Duncan forgot your birthday? So he didn’t call you last night.”
“No, he didn’t. The bastard! This morning I’ve found a text that said he was too tired to call.”
“No mention of your birthday?”
“None!”
“Don’t take it so bad,” said Sean trying to comfort her, “I’m sure he’ll call you later and will apologise begging to forgive him.”
Cynthia was looking out of the window. She took a deep breath and said, “I don’t think he will. I believe he’s got somebody else in Edinburgh.”
Sean stopped abruptly and spun the swivel chair around. “Another woman you mean? Are you mad or what? Duncan is mad, mad about you!” He turned the chair around again and went on with his job.

Cynthia looked out of the window musing upon Sean’s words. She had never doubted about her boyfriend’s faithfulness during the time they had been together, three years. He was Scottish and, after four years in London, his job had forced him back to Scotland about one year ago. They saw each other every weekend, one week Cynthia went up to Edinburgh, the other Duncan came down to London. Last week he had said he wouldn’t come since he had to work on Saturday as well. Cynthia suggested going to Edinburgh again, and then he would come down to London twice. At first he had tried to persuade her not to because it was a very long and tiring journey by train, but, since she had insisted on going all the same, he had given in. On Saturday they had been together just for one hour when he got home around 8pm. He had eaten something and gone to bed after some telly. The next day Cynthia’s train had left at 2pm. To cut it short, she had spent more time onto a train than with Duncan. But she had said to herself that it had been worth it – it had been because they loved each other.

Next Monday as soon as he arrived at ‘Hall or Nothing’, Sean went to Cynthia’s office but he didn’t find her. Terri told him that she had locked herself in the ladies where she was crying her heart out. Terri couldn’t say why since Cynthia didn’t want to talk to anyone.
Sean made his way towards the ladies and opened the door slowly. There was nobody to be seen but he could clearly hear a soft sob. He knocked at the door of a toilet without any reply. “Cindy? It’s me Sean. What’s wrong?”
“Please, leave me alone!” sobbed Cynthia.
“Come on, you know you can talk to me.”
One moment later he heard the door unlocking, she opened it and he could see her miserable face. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. “I was right,” said Cynthia whilst wiping her eyes and cheeks with a tissue, “ Duncan’s having an affair with another woman.”
“Do you know for sure?”
She nodded her head several times. “He’s admitted it. She’s one colleague of his. He introduced her to me about seven months ago. A nice girl, I thought. I’ve met her quite often, we even did the shopping together. What a bitch!” Her lips trembled and tears began to roll down her face again. Sean pulled her towards him, so she could rest her head over his shoulder and give vent to her sorrow.

Later, after work, Cynthia and Sean went out for a drink. He had found hard persuading her, but in the end she had accepted saying she felt like drinking and getting blind drunk. He had laughed at the thought of it convinced that she joked, but when they were at the pub, he realised she had really meant it. He warned her that she would feel horrible tomorrow morning, but she wouldn’t listen to him. After the fourth pint, Sean believed he’d better drive her home.

She woke up with a splitting headache. Realising she was still wearing the same clothes she had yesterday, she took them off and put on something more comfortable. Entering the lounge she saw someone asleep on her couch…who that person could be she didn’t know. When she went closer and saw it was Sean, she remembered that they had gone to a pub last night. She went to the kitchen and made some coffee. One mug slipped out of her hand and fell to the floor breaking into several pieces. “Fuck!”
“Already up?” said Sean entering the kitchen.
“I’ve got an urgent need of coffee,” she mumbled in a sleepy voice, “I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“Don’t worry,” smiled he warmly, “sit down and leave it to me.”
Cynthia took a chair and sat resting her head in her hand. “I can’t believe I’ve got to go to work in one hour!”
“You’ll feel a lot better after some coffee, aspirin and a nice shower.” He filled a mug with hot coffee and put it over the table next to Cynthia’s hand, then he poured himself one and sat down.

“How come did you stay overnight?”
Sean took his coffee and sipped it slowly. “’Cos I was worried, couldn’t leave you alone after all those beers you gulped down last night.” He looked at her tenderly whilst patting her hand, “I did say you would feel like shit this morning, didn’t I? And, did you listen to me? No, you didn’t!”
“You know why I ignored your warnings? Just because I knew you would look after me.” Cynthia threw her arm around his neck pulling him towards her and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re a great friend Seany!”

He watched some telly in the lounge while she took a shower and got ready to go to work. He had offered her a lift before going to his hotel to fetch his stuff and return to Bristol. To thank him, Cynthia had invited him to dinner at her place next week when he would be back for some radio interviews with James and Nicky.

“Thanks for the lift Seany,” Cynthia kissed him on the cheek and as she was pulling back Sean placed his lips over hers kissing her softly.
She stayed still for a few moments completely bewildered by his gesture. Sean lowered his brown eyes and turned red in the face. “Cindy I’m sorry,” he breathed nervously, “I shouldn’t have…erm…done it.”
“It’s okay Sean,” giggled Cynthia, “ahem, well, I’d better go now, it’s ahem, getting late.” She opened the car door and got out, “See you next week.”
“Take care,” Sean managed to glance and smile at her shyly before he drove away.

Sean parked his car in front of Matilda’s infant school and got off. His ex-wife Rhian had phoned him as soon as he had got back home. She had to stay at work until 6pm, so had asked Sean to pick up their child from school. Matilda, a lovely four-year-old little girl, ran to her father screaming ‘daddyyyyy’ when she saw him waiting for her. Sean couldn’t help grinning and bent down to take his daughter in his arms. He lifted her holding her close to him and stroked her blonde soft hair. “Hey sweetie, did you miss me?”
“Missed you very very much!” said the child pulling back. She smiled at her dad planting a kiss on his cheek. “Oh daddy I’m so happy you came. I have to tell you what has happened today at school.”
“Tell everything honey,” said Sean making his way to his car, “I’m so curious.”
Matilda covered her cute smiling face with one hand, then she spoke shyly in a soft voice: “A little boy has given me a kiss on the cheek.”
Sean tittered amused. “He likes you then,” he smiled fastening his child’s seat belt.
“You think?”
“Of course honey! When you kiss someone that means you like that person.” All of a sudden the smile in his face disappeared. The picture of him kissing Cynthia on morning was before his eyes.

Sean and Matilda got home and he made her a hot chocolate. In the meantime, the little girl switched the telly on and sat down on the floor to watch her favourite cartoons. A couple of hours later Rhian arrived to collect Matilda, so the child told her mum about her schoolmate kissing her. The news made Rhian smile and she assured her daughter that her daddy was right – that little boy definitely liked her. Afterwards the child went on watching telly leaving her parents chatting. Sean offered his ex-wife a cup of tea, so they moved to the kitchen.

“That’s a weird coincidence,” smiled Sean shyly as he poured the tea, “I’ve kissed Cynthia this morning.”
“Oh, tell me about it!” grinned Rhian.
“Well, she’s left Duncan after finding out he’s had an affair with one colleague of his for six weeks.”
Rhian’s jaw dropped open. “Aww, poor thing! Guess it must have been terrible for her.”
“Yeah, she took it quiet badly. Yesterday morning she couldn’t give up weeping. After work I took her out for a drink and tried to cheer her up a little, but she ended up getting drunk. I drove her home and slept overnight on the sofa.”
“That was very nice of you,” breathed Rhian with a smile, “then what’s happened?”
Sean played with his tea bag and spoke quietly, “I gave her a lift at work and as she was leaving I kissed her.”
“Did she tell you off for doing it?”
“No no. I apologised at once and she said it was ok.”

Rhian watched her ex-husband carefully; he looked thoughtful and upset. “You like her, don’t you?”
“Yep, I think I do but...” he grasped his cup and sipped his hot tea, “I don’t know what to do Rhian.”
“There’s just one thing to do: tell her!”
Sean placed his cup over his saucer sighting deeply, “As if it was easy! She’s just broken up with her boyfriend and I doubt she’d start another relationship. Plus she doesn’t feel the same for me.”
“Oh Sean don’t be silly, how can you know?”
“I do know. I know full well what she’d say: that I’m one of her dearest mates and that she doesn’t want to spoil our friendships.”
“I wouldn’t be boring, but as I said a while ago, you can’t be certain if you don’t speak to her. What do you have to lose? I’ll tell you: NOTHING! So don’t be stubborn as usual or you’ll repent it!”

“It’d be fine with you? If me and Cindy erm...you know.”
“Why wouldn’t it? Sean you should know I love you and I want you to be happy. We split up more than one year ago and you have every right to go out with somebody. I’d be glad if that ‘somebody’ were Cindy because she’s a nice girl.”
Sean smiled warmly at his ex-wife. Her words managed to cheer him up and made him gain confidence. “We’re having dinner together next week,” he said
Rhian grasped his hand and smiled, “Good! You know what to do, don’t you?”

Several days later at ‘Hall or Nothing’.

Terri walked quickly to Cynthia’s office glancing at her watch. She found the door opened, Cynthia was sitting at her desk playing with a pencil, her eyes looking at nothing. “Ready to go?” asked Terri, “I’ve booked us a table and we’re late.”
“Yes, I am,” Cynthia got up and put her coat on, then she took her handbag and stepped towards Terri.
“Is it alright?” inquired Terri concerned,
Cynthia gave her boss a frail smile, “Yep, it is.”
“You’re not convincing at all,” exclaimed Terri as they left.

During the meal the two women spoke mostly about questions of work, but it was clear as day that Cynthia’s mind was elsewhere.
“You should talk about it with someone. You can’t go on keeping it to yourself.”
‘Damn it!’ thought Cynthia, ‘Is that so evident?’
Terri held Cynthia’s hand affectionately and went on, “Duncan has hurt you, I know it’s hard, but you must look ahead. It’s for your own good darling.”
Cynthia covered her mouth with her hand; she couldn’t help giggling. Terri watched her with a confused look. Cynthia lowered her eyes and finally spoke, “Duncan’s got nothing to do with that. It’s Sean. He’s been adorable with me lately. He kissed me some days ago.” She took her glass and drank some water. Her cheeks felt like burning. “The problem is that I can’t get it out of my mind.”
A huge smile sprang across Terri’s face. “I believe you like him.”
“I don’t know, I’m so confused. I keep wondering why he did it and the only reason I can find is that he did it just to comfort me. I’m sure I’m only a friend to him.”
“Or he kissed you because he also likes you. You never know. Talk to him Cindy, nobody but him can say why he gave you that kiss.”

Next week.

Terri had kissed and wished her luck before leaving. Cynthia had taken a quick shower and now was cooking dinner. She and Sean had met briefly on morning before he and the others went to XFM’s studios for an interview. She had felt unbelievably nervous when he had approached her, his long dark brown hair made him look extremely handsome. He had touched her arm gently and kissed her cheek softly.

Sean got punctually at 7 o’clock carrying a bottle of red wine. He took his coat off, put it over an armchair and sat down. Cynthia took the wine and put it in the freezer to cool it a little, so she left the kitchen and joined Sean in the lounge.
“Can you smell something burning or it’s just me?” said Sean
Cynthia sniffed at the air and rushed to the kitchen swearing loudly. Sean followed her after a moment and entering the room he saw smoke coming out of the microwave oven.
“I’m such a disaster,” whined Cynthia shaking her head, “I can’t even cook some bloody lasagne.”
Sean went closer and put one arm around her. “It’s not the end of the world, we’ve got a large quantity of green salad,” he said warmly rubbing her arm.
“I so wanted to cook you a nice dinner and look what I’ve done!”
He lifted her chin and looked into her sad brown eyes. He felt like kissing her but didn’t have the nerve to. He only managed to lean his lips over her forehead and stroke her dark blonde curly hair.

Twenty minutes later their Chinese food arrived. They sat down on the floor and had their dinner over the tea table.
“You’ve got to taste these spaghetti, they’re delicious,” said Sean feeding Cynthia.
“Mmm, they’re very good. Also this chicken isn’t any bad.” She grasped a tiny bit of meat with her chopsticks and fed Sean.
“Yeah, it’s very tasty. Want some more of my spaghetti?”
“Yes, thank you!”
Sean and Cynthia exchanged their cartons and went on eating in silence.

‘C’mon, ask him now!’ thought Cynthia. “I need to ask you something Sean,” she said staring at the carton, “why did you kiss me last week?”
‘Hell!’ thought Sean, ‘She’s angry.’
“I’ll be honest,” began Cynthia, “I can’t stop thinking about it and I need to be sure that it didn’t mean anything to you and that you did it only to cheer me up.”
‘C’mon man, tell her all the truth.’ “I kissed you ‘cos I wanted to, ‘cos I like you. I know that we are friends, and believe me, our friendship means so much to me, but I can’t hide what I feel for you any longer.” A sense of relief ran across his body. “Think I’d better leave.”

Did she hear well? Did he really say he liked her? Cynthia grabbed him by the arm when he was getting up. “Please Sean stay! I like you too and I don’t want you to go.”
He turned around and looked at her with a huge smile, his dark brown eyes shone intensely. “Sure?”
Cynthia smiled back at him nodding her head and threw her arms around him. They held each other tightly for several moments, so she pulled back and whispered, “Please, kiss me.”
“With pleasure honey!” Sean brushed her cheek and captured her soft lips.

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