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| SOMEONE SOMEWHERE SOON WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU by Enola PART 21 You leave the building as soon as possible and at the very moment a taxi passes by. You try to attract the driver’s attention but he didn’t stop so you walk miserably towards the underground. You still have the picture of that girl in your mind. Hearing her voice and seeing her appearing almost naked came as a terrible blow to you. You read a sort of ‘who-the-fuck-are-you’ expression in her skinny pale face. She was rather pretty and made you feel insignificant and stupid compared to her, but the truth is that you are insignificant. She had a glass in one hand and from the tone of her voice you realised she was drunk and so he was for sure. She’s perfect for him, you think, a drinker and a nympho at the same time. He will be happy with her. Now you have the certainty you were right. That is what he wants, that is something you cannot give to him, so why should he content himself with you when he can have a lot more? Probably, he also wondered it and came to the conclusion that he had already wasted too much time running after you. Everyone else would do the same. Now you know you can have no part in his life, the 2 of you are too different, totally incompatible and probably now he’s got the idea too. You don’t either blame him or yourself, that’s the way it had to be and you knew it. You’ve known it since you first met him, you knew that you and James could be no more than friends. Now the fact you love him doesn’t count. Let’s say the truth: you made a fool of yourself and, probably, now they are laughing at you. Without even realise that you got off at the wrong stop and since you don’t feel like waiting for the next train you go home by foot, in less than 10 minutes’ time you’ll be there. It’s even colder than before so you wrap your arms around yourself to keep warm. Just after a few steps, suddenly, someone grabs your arm and puts one hand over your mouth, “Gimme your bag and nothing bad will happened to you” says a male hoarse voice behind you. You exactly do what he said and a while later he rushes away. You stay still in the pavement unable to react for a couple of minutes. You didn’t even hear him coming. A few seconds later you hear another male voice saying aloud, “Miss, are you okay?” You turn and see a bobby coming closer. “Do you understand what I’m saying?” he adds a while later since you didn’t reply. “I’ve been just robbed” you whisper. He asks if you want him to call for an ambulance but you tell him the robber only took your bag without harming you. Afterwards he says you have to follow him to the police station so that you can report the accident, then someone will drive you home. You open the front door slowly without making noise. The light in the lounge is on but you quickly go to your room. You slump in your bed holding your head in your hands. You are crying now and you have the impression you won’t give up easily. Shane’s heard you, he enters your room and sits down in your bed by your side. He puts his arm round your neck pulling you to him, so you rest your head over his shoulder and he strokes your hair gently. “What happened?” he whispers tenderly. You’re crying harder and you don’t manage to speak. He tries to calm you down and at last you sob out something. “There was a woman with him. They were about to have a bath.” “Did you tell him that thing?” You nod. “What did he say?” “Nothing. I went away before he could say anything” “Oooh Monica!” he snores annoyed, “Why the hell didn’t you stay there?” “Why? I had to stay there and listen to him saying he doesn’t give a fuck about me anymore?” “You can’t think that. Had him been drinking?” “I think so” “HELL Monica! He was as pissed as a newt then. I’m sure he doesn’t even know her name. Did he try to stop you?” “Nope. He just closed the door!” “Please, forgive me for what I’m about to tell you…Monica, you’re an idiot!” “I already know that! I’ve been robbed too!” “What?” he exclaims shocked. You tell him everything about the robbery, then he goes on annoyed, “Why the fuck didn’t you catch a cab?” “You’ve just said it…I AM AN IDIOT!” He giggles for a while then he pushes away from him slowly and looking at you with those lovely blue eyes he says, “You had to stay, he would’ve chosen you! Try to sleep now, you’ll feel better tomorrow!” “Stay here!” you whisper wrapping your arms round his neck, so he holds you tight and some minutes later you finally fall asleep. It was terrible, but, in any case, it was nothing compared to what you had been before at James’s flat. The rumble of thunder wakes you up in the middle of the night. You are lying on your side and, by a hand over your waist, you realise that Shane ended up falling asleep close to you. Well, after few seconds, you are aware that he’s a bit too close to you, as his chest is stuck to your back. At least he left his clothes on!! You thank God you have him because otherwise you don’t know how you’d get over all the bad things that happened to you since you’ve been in London. Shane is, you have to admit it, and you’re happy about that, your comforter, your greatest supporter, he’s a kind of guardian angel who helps you out every time you lose your bearings…something that happens quite often to you. Here he is behind you, always by your side. Some moments later, without opening your eyes, you realise the lamp is on. “Sh…Shane…turn that bloody light off and go to sleep in your bed!” Then you fall asleep again. You turn over. He is still next to you and the light is still on. You feel one hand brushing your cheek with the fingertips gently and slowly. You move your hand over it, but suddenly you realise something strange in it. A ring. You know very well that Shane doesn’t have any rings. Your heartbeat gets faster, you think you know whose that hand is, but you also know that’s impossible that HE is there close to you. ‘It cannot be him!’ you think. That’s not possible. The only explanation is that you’re dreaming, that’s just a dream but you don’t know what to do. You’d like to keep sleeping and dreaming he’s close to you but at the same time you’d like to open your eyes because it hurts too much. “Jam…Jamieee” you murmur. You feel that hand again over your face and your neck, then warm lips lean on your forehead. “I’m here honey!” Your whole body quivers as you hear his soft voice. Slowly, you move your trembling hand searching for his face and you stop for a while as you feel his stubble under your fingers. You touch his nose, then you move your fingers on in his lips. One hand reaches yours and holding it tight, those soft lips kiss your fingertips one by one, the palm and finally the back of your hand. That’s too much for you, you must open your eyes, you don’t want that dream goes on. You open them quickly and the first thing you see are those gorgeous big dark brown eyes sweeter than ever. You stare at each other both silent for a few moments till your eyes fill with tears and you end up weeping a while later. You hug him burying your face in his chest. He’s wearing the blue shirt you gave him for his birthday. He wraps his arms around you and his hand rubs your hair in the nape of your neck. “Had a shower after you went away. When I got here Shane told me you were sleeping but didn’t want to wake you up. I just lay here close to you. Nothing happened earlier,” he whispers in your ear, “I couldn’t do it!” Sobbing you tell him you don’t want to know anything but he insists, he has to tell you everything. He speaks so softly you can hardly hear his voice. He felt miserable and disappointed because you didn’t call him after he had left that message in your machine. He really hoped you did. He spent hours in his flat waiting for you to call then he went out because he understood you didn’t want to talk to him. He went to a pub when he had rarely gone to before because he didn’t want to run the risk meeting someone he knew, he just wanted to stay alone. He sat at the bar and drank a couple of whiskeys or maybe three. Then that girl sat close to him and started talking to him but he doesn’t even know what she told because he wasn’t listening to her. At that point he has a sort of void, he doesn’t remember what happened next, he just remembers that they kept on drinking in his flat and that the phone rang and now he understands it was you. He also remembers her kissing him and undoing his clothes, but he kept still, he didn’t manage to touch her. She noticed it and since she wanted him to relax, she went to the bathroom and filled the tub. A minute later, you arrived. He pauses for a while and stares at you while his hand fondles your cheek and you shut your eyes as his fingers touch your skin. “Why did you run away? You didn’t even give me the time to reply.” He comes closer, puts his hand on the nape of your neck and kisses your forehead, then he looks at you again and wipes your cheeks with his kisses slowly and finally leans his lips on yours. He starts kissing you just with his lips without any pressure. Just soft brief kisses. You kiss him in the same way resting your hand on his cheek. For a moment you feel the tip of his tongue brushing yours. At that very moment you realise that this the 3rd time you kiss each other, or rather that’s the 2nd for you as you didn’t want to think of the 1st time when he stuck you between him and the wall after that bad argument holding your wrists with force immobilizing your arms and he screamed at you that you were jealous of Valerie because she had something, that is him, you didn’t have, but if you wanted him, he could shag you just there without thinking about that twice! He kissed you roughly. In those moments his anger scared the shit out of you. But now it’s different because HE IS different. He’s the same person you took care of when he was stuck in bed with that bad flu and begged you to never leave him because he needed you. He’s the same person who kissed you at his place the day he said he loved you. You’re still kissing each other slowly and tenderly. You both lie on your sides facing each other. James’s hand is still over your head pulling you towards him even more. He finally stops to stare at you again with the sweetest look you have ever seen into those lovely eyes. “This is my answer, but if you didn’t understand anything, I can repeat everything again more slowly!” he murmurs while he brushes your lips with hid index finger. Afterwards you hold him tight, you bury your face in his neck and start crying again. When you saw her, all your hopes broke down. For a moment you hoped he would have stopped you but when you heard the door closing, understood there was no more room for you in his life. He would have run after you and explain but he was too drunk. The thought he could do or say something wrong again terrified him. After you left he collapsed on the sofa and asked the girl to go away. He shut his eyes and wished for it to be a horrible nightmare, he couldn’t bear the idea he had hurt you again. He couldn’t manage to stop thinking of what you had told him. He had been waiting for that moment to come for weeks, if he had stayed in everything would have gone fine. He holds you tighter and tighter and runs his fingers through your hair gently, “Please, say those words once again…need to hear you saying them” he adds a while later. You move your head slightly so that you can look at him and in a very soft voice you say, “I love you…” you sob, “I’ve always loved you. I’ve never told you that ‘cos I felt so useless and didn’t see why you should have wasted your time with me…sorry…didn’t mean to hurt you” “No, no…shh…please baby, give up cryin’. You have no reasons to apologise for. Please, stop now! Can’t stand seein’ you cryin’” he whispers in your ear kissing your forehead. “I’ve always known you loved me. Every time you talked to me there was something in your voice which betrayed that sense of security…sometimes you couldn’t even look at me…but I’ve always thought that was a way to protect yourself from me.” He wipes your eyes with his fingers and keeps fondling your cheeks then gives you a tender kiss on the tip of your nose. “Please, give up thinkin’ you’re useless ‘cos you aren’t.” You’re quieter now. He’s next to you staring at you with those sweet eyes, fondling your face with those gentle hands, holding you in those strong arms which, finally, make you feel protected and loved. “You’ll have to be patient” you say softly, “I’ve never been with anyone…no one has ever touched me…” “I know…we’ll take a step at a time…there’s no rush - just take your time.” he smiles, “It’s late, you should sleep now! Guess you’ve got a busy day tomorrow.” “Don’t go” you urge him clinging on to him resting your head over his chest. “Don’t want to leave you. Nite hon sleep tite!” He kisses your forehead and wraps his arms round you. Your alarm clock wakes you up at 7 o’clock. That’s the first time it happens during the past few weeks. You didn’t sleep well so you could turn it off before it rang. It takes you by surprise so you stretch out a hand to try to switch it off but because of the dark you make it fall onto the floor. “Jeez!” you murmur. “Same thing evry monin ?” mumbles James half asleep. You reach for the lamp carefully and turn it on without making it fall over. “Dammit! Didn’t mean to wake you up!” you whisper fondling his bristly cheek. His eyes are still closed, “Um…don’t mind at all! Stay here…5 minutes, will you?” You lie down so he throws his arm round your waist. You think he’s fallen asleep again but, suddenly, he opens his eyes lazily, “tell me one thing…how can you be so fuckin’ pretty at 7?” “Let me think…oh yeah…don’t drink, don’t smoke, go to sleep early…” “Okay okay…got it!” he snores sleepy. You rub your nose against his making him smile. If you could you’d stay in bed close to him the whole day but since you can’t you get up before you are overwhelmed by your strong desire to fall asleep again. But you don’t get out of bed before having held and kissed him. You tell him he can sleep until he likes since he can do it and he wishes you a nice day. Having taken a shower, you enter the kids’ rooms to wake them up but you notice that they’ve already got up. Walking towards the kitchen you hear their voices together with Shane and Chris’s. “Good morning everyone!” you say happily, “And sorry for the delay.” “You didn’t need to get up” says Shane slightly smiling glancing at Chris, “so…why don’t you go back to bed?” He’s grinning now while Chris can’t help laughing. You ignore him and pour yourself a cup of tea. You sit down just in front of him. He’s staring at you. “He didn’t go away, did he?” Chris reprimands him saying to mind his own business. You don’t reply since he already knows the answer. “He’s still sleeping?” “Shane Daniel O’Brien keep your mouth shut!” Chris snaps jokingly, “Leave her alone!” “Was just asking!” he says quietly, then a while later, looking at you he adds, “C’mon, said it!” You smile and breathe, “You were right!” “I’m always right, it’s slightly different!” he grins. As soon as the kids finish having breakfast he drives them to school and Chris to work. You go to your office and look for your mobile as you always turn it on when you get up, but you don’t manage to find it anywhere. You stop for a while to think where you’ve put it the last time you’ve used it and suddenly it comes to mind that you put it into your bag when you went out to go to James’…it was in your bag, the same bag that guy stole you!!! The first thing you have to do now is calling your family and friends and tell them not to phone you to your mobile since you’ve lost it. You don’t want anyone knows you’ve been robbed, above all you can’t tell your father it, you know him, he’d take the first flight to make sure you’re alright. Having made children’s beds you open the door of your room slowly. James is still sleeping lying prone in the middle of your bed with his arms under the pillow. That must be his favourite position since you saw him sleeping in the same way when he was ill…apart from that morning you woke up with his arm round your waist, the same arm which was holding you tight last night. It’s hard to believe that things have changed so quickly. Just ten hours ago he was in his flat drunk out of his mind and half naked with a total stranger, as much pissed as him, wrapped in a tiny towel ready to have a bath and not only that with him. now he’s sleeping peacefully in your bed after spending the night next to you. Yes, Shane was right. You close the door and go back to your office where Olivia’s plants need to be watered. When she left she entrusted them to you saying that ‘they’re leaving creatures like people and animals so for this reason they need the same care’. Shane has always thought she exaggerated since she also talked to them and when she wasn’t present he used to mock her and you have to admit you found him very funny. There’s a small plant on your desk, you don’t know which plant is though. Olivia spent hours telling you their names but you don’t manage to remember them, you’re not a green-fingered person at all! Shane’s a lot cleverer than you and always reminds you when you have to water every single plant as they all are different and need a different quantity of water. If it hadn’t been for him they should have withered in a couple of weeks’ time. Suddenly, you see James reflected in the window in front of you and a hint of a smile springs in your face at once. He’s looking at you from the threshold in silence, probably because he doesn’t want you to know he’s there. One minute later you look at the window again but you can’t see him anymore. You can’t because he’s right behind you, his arms wrap and hold you in a little while forcing you to leave the watering can on the desk. You need to hold him as well so you turn throwing your arms round him resting your head on his chest. You can’t help thinking of the thousands of times you should like to have hugged him tightly, but you never did because you knew that you could have never let him go. He’s stroking your hair as he did that night in his flat when the two of you were dancing and he told you those nice things about the smell of hair, the sound of your voice and the sweetness of your eyes. He used the word sublime to describe them. You had never felt that good before, and now you feel the same way, but you won’t run away this time. “You can’t imagine how much I missed this smell.” He breaks the silence speaking in your ear softly, “Glad to know you haven’t changed your shampoo!” He keeps stroking your hair maybe because that’s the only thing he can do since your arms are still round him but it seems he doesn’t mind that at all. After a short while he goes on, “So…this is your office now! Have I already told you I’m immensely proud of you?” now you know that’s the right moment for relaxing your grip because you want him to know that means a lot to you. He leans his forehead against yours and fondles your cheeks while you speak and as soon as you stop he kisses you. “Wanna eat something?” you ask afterwards, “Um…I can’t!” he mumbles sorry, “Gotta see Nick later, we’ve got some work to do so I just have the time to rush back home and take a quick shower” “Oooh! How long will you be away?” “Dunno…hang on…fuck it! I’ll call and tell him we can’t meet” “No! It’s not fair, you must go!” you say firmly, “Don’t want to!!” he protests sadly, then a while later he smiles cheekily and adds, “Why don’t you come with me?” “Wh…what?” you exclaim surprised, “Ahem…dunno if I can…erm…I mean I’d like to but…” “Shane said you need a break,” he smiles, “talked to him before, he thinks that’s a brilliant idea!” “Oh, so that was just a little trick…” “Um, I’ll be honest…it was just a little innocent trick!!” he breathes before kissing you, then he bursts into laughing, “looking forward to seeing Nicky’s face when he’ll see you!” You don’t need to ask if he has told Nicky about the latest events because, obviously, he’s told him everything. You really feel like seeing Nicky and Rachel again so you’ll go with him. James is blissfully happy and suggests bringing Stella too, then he goes away saying he’ll be back in one hour, one and a half. When he returns he gives you a paper carrier bag. There’s a box inside, a new cellphone. Shane told him about that last night when he got there. He feels responsible because if he had stopped you that robber wouldn’t have stolen your bag. He thanks God you’re safe and well otherwise he doesn’t know what he could have done if he had harmed you. James and you get to Nicky’s house in the afternoon. You and Stella are right behind James when Rachel opens the door so she doesn’t notice you at once, but when she does she’s extremely happy to see you again, happy to see you and James together. When you enter you hear the noise of a hoover and Rachel says Nicky’s cleaning the living room. James goes there while you and Rachel stay next to the door. Afterwards you hear James calling Nicky, then he screams his name and a while later the noise of the hoover stops and Rachel says he took the plug off the socket. “What the fuck…” Nicky snarls, “Oh Christ, it’s you! For a moment I thought it had broken!” he sighs relieved, then turning a bit harsh goes on, “Would you mind putting that bloody plug into the socket again? I should finish!” “Um…think this room’s clean enough!” replies James, “What’s that smile now?” Nicky enquires, “Erm…smile?” James giggles, “What the fuck James…you were desperate…apathetic till yesterday…d’you have something to say?” “Ahem…no!” “To hell with you prick!” Nicky snores. At this point Rachel says that James enjoys teasing and maddening him. Now James is laughing and tells him he doesn’t have anything to say but has a couple of surprises for him. “I don’t give a shit about your surprises! Piss off! Gotta finish the cleaning!” Rachel thinks it’d be better do something so, holding Stella by the leash, she enters the living room, “Darling, are you really sure you don’t want to see James’s surprises?” “Whose Labrador is that?” he asks, “C’mon darling, don’t you see she’s Stella?” “Stella? Hang on Rach…she can’t be Stella ‘cos Stella’s Monica’s” “James, please, bring your second surprise in here!” she laughs. A moment later he leaves the room, takes your hand and together you enter the living room smiling. “Hi Nicky!!!” “Monica!!!” he exclaims amazed, then looking at James he suddenly says angrily, “For Christ’s sake James, why didn’t you tell me that at once!! You stupid cunt!!” Afterwards, grinning, he comes closer to you, “Oh Monica!! I can’t believe you’re in here! We need an explanation, don’t you think?” You all sit down and you tell them James was right, you loved him but there were too many things that frightened you so you thought that keeping friends was the best thing to do. Then you soon understood that you needed him and that it was time to give a turning point in your life. You spent too much time running away from people thinking it was for your own good but now you’re tired of it, you need to trust someone. As soon as you finish speaking you go to the toilet and when you goes out you find Nicky waiting for you. He’d like to talk to you alone for a moment so you enter a gloomy room with lots of shelves full of books and CD’s. You sit down facing each other. “I’m really happy for you and James. Honestly, I didn’t expect to see you together here today but I don’t deny I hoped for it. I was quite worried for him and felt so sad ‘cos I couldn’t do anything for him. The past few months have been very hard. He didn’t need to tell me he was in love with you, he’s an open book to me. He didn’t know what to do, he wanted you to know that but at the same time he was to afraid to fuck you up. I must confess that I was about to tell you everything the day after Rhys’ wedding…but it was none of my business. I wanted you to know you could trust him, that he was ready to do anything for you ‘cos he couldn’t lose you too…he’s already lost his best friend and his mum…when his mum died he was ready for it, she had been ill for a long time, he knew she’d go. On the contrary, Richey left unexpectedly. It was horrible for all of us but he was the one who suffered mostly. I think that’s the reason why he has never taken his relationships too seriously, he was too scared of being left again. But that was before meeting you. I’ve never seen him happier. I’ve seen him before, I’ve seen how he looks at you, how he held your hand. I want him to be happy ‘cos…fuck…he deserves to. He’s happy now thanks to you.” When he finishes speaking there’s a big smile in his face. Now you are ready to return to the living room, but Nicky has to ask you something before, “You’ll take care of him, won’t you?” “I will, promise!” He thanks you holding you and suddenly you hear James snarling jokingly, “Hey you fukkkin asshole get off ma grrl!!!” Having had dinner you help Rachel to do the washing up while James and Nicky go for a walk with Molly and Stella. When they got back you’re ready to leave since you feel a bit tired. When you get to his flat in Cardiff he fills a bowl with water for Stella which he puts on the floor then fetches an old cover which he puts on the floor too after folding it in two. “Nite sweetie!” he says sweetly stroking her. Then he takes your hand since he has to show you the flat because he remembers he didn’t before going to Rhys’ wedding. He shows you the toilet, his bedroom and another. “Um…you can sleep in here…if you like” “Okay…if you don’t mind!” He puts his hands on your waist and pulls you gently towards him, “No problem honey! You’re in here, that’s enough!” he says softly before kissing you and your whole body quivers as his tongue meets yours. “Goodnight. Sleep tight!” About three hours have passed since you are in bed but you’ve done nothing but turning over again and again. Since you’re fed up with it you get up and go to the kitchen. As you enter you sadly look at Stella who’s sleeping deeply. You drink some water then you go back to your room but before going in you look at James’ door. You go closer and open it slowly. Moonlight enters the room through the venetian blinds partially open. James is sleeping too, prone as usual with his arms under the pillow. You go down on your knees and start stroking his hair for a while then you fondle his bare shoulder and his arm till his elbow. “What’s up honey?” he whispers sleepy, “I felt lonely” “Wanna stay here?” “Yes…are you…erm…” “Nope, I’m not naked!” He lifts the covers up so that you can join him so you lean your back against his chest while his arm wraps you in a tender embrace. PART 22 >>> <<< Enola's stories |