greeboina_full-of-grace

FULL OF GRACE by Greeboina

“Mary?”
She turned around when she heard her boss calling her name. She looked at him as he walked up to her. He was holding some papers in his hand but she could see something was bothering him.
“Yes?”
“I know you are off now but could you try give this to James? I’ve tried getting in contact with him but he doesn’t answer. I know you live close to where he lives…”
She smiled.
“Of course, I will. It’s not a problem at all. It’s still the same place right?”
“Yes. Oh yes, I remember you went there at Christmas. Thank you for doing it.”
They talked for a bit about work issues and then she left to get the tube.

She decided against going to her own place first. It was better to do this at once. The quicker she did it, the quicker she would get her weekend. She found James’ place easily and buzzed him. No answer. She frowned and tried again.
“Yeah?”
Something said her that something wasn’t right. It was a gut feeling. Somehow his voice sounded strange. She pulled her self together and said;
“James? It’s Mary Clarkson from Hall or Nothing. Martin sent me to give you some papers you need to sign.”
“Come in.”
He buzzed her in. She walked in and the feeling something was wrong grew stronger.

When she got inside she noticed that the apartment was messy and seemed empty somehow. She gave James the papers and tried not to look around. She smiled when he gave her the papers back and turned to the door.
“She left me.”
She stopped right as she grabbed the door handle. She turned around slowly and her heart went for James. He looked so lost and alone that she stepped forward and held him tight to her. She didn’t know what had gotten into her but when he held her and sobbed, she knew that it was the right thing to do. She stroked his back and let him cry. She was shocked that Mylene had left him. Everything had seen so perfect last time she had seen them. She held him until he stopped crying. She took his hand gently and went to the kitchen. He sat down on a kitchen chair and looked down. She gave him a Kleenex for his eyes and he gave her a little smile.
“Tea?”
He nodded. She tried to remember where he stocked his tea and by some miracle she remembered it. It felt weird being here but James seemed to need someone to be with him. As she waited for the water to boil she thought of the last time she had seen James and Mylene. They had visit Martin and she had been there too. James had been smiling and couldn't keep his hands away from his wife. She had been swatting his hands away and laughed. Even though they had been married for some time they still acted like a pair on honeymoon. Then the water was ready. She took a mug and made tea for both of them.

She placed his tea in front of him and sat down on a kitchen chair. For a time none of them said a word.
“She left me. She left me because she said she didn’t love me anymore.”
She took his hand and squeezed it gently. She saw that he was close to crying again and quickly gave him a Kleenex more.
“I love her and she just…”
His body convulsed as he cried. She got down on her knees and hugged him. The position got a bit awkward so she got him up gently and went to the living room. She avoided things on the floor and finally got him to sit down on the sofa. He was still sobbing. She held him close to her. Slowly she felt how he relaxed and then he fell asleep. She pushed him gently down on the sofa. She looked around and found a duvet on the floor. She put it around him and got up. She better call Martin. She went out in the kitchen.

She looked around as she waited for Martin to pick up his phone. It looked messy. Perhaps she should clean it for James. Then she head his voice.
“Mary! I thought you were off work? You miss me already?”
She could see him smile cheekily.
“Very funny, Martin”
Then she got serious.
“I’m with James. When I got here, the apartment was a mess and he was not alright. It seems that Mylene has left him…”
“Oh no…Where is he now?”
“He’s sleeping.”
“I better see if any of the others can come around.”
“You don’t have to, Martin. I’ll take care of it. I don’t want him to be alone right now. I’ll look after him.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I don’t want anything to happen to him.”
“Call me anytime if you need help. I’ll call him tomorrow.”
“Yes. See you Martin.”
“See you and take care of him.”
“I will.”
They hang up. She looked at the mess in the kitchen and decided that first she would clean the kitchen and the living room. She started taking clothes etc up from the floor and slowly it looked less messy.

She sat down in the chair and sighed. It had taken her two hours but now it was looking much better. She had checked up on James from time to time while cleaning. She looked at the watch. They should be here soon with the food she had ordered. She heard the buzzer. She paid them for the food and closed the door. She went to the kitchen and arranged the food on two plates. She took them into the living room and sat them on the table in front of the sofa. She put her hand on James’ arm.
“James? Wake up. I got dinner for you.”
He opened his eyes slowly. His eyes were red and puffy but she said nothing about it. She would let him decide when he wanted anything. Except right now. He needed something to eat. From what she could see he hadn’t eaten for some time. He sat up, rubbed his eyes and looked at her. She sat down next to him and stroked his back.
“Eat before it gets cold”
They ate in silence. She noticed that James was looking at her from time to time. She decided to enjoy the food. She didn’t know why she stayed but the look in his eyes when he had told her his wife had left him, had hit her hard. She had met James a few times and he was one of the kindest men she had ever met. Seeing him so lost was unbearable.

She came back to reality when James looked at her and asked her about something.
“Oh sorry. I didn’t hear what you said, James.”
“Why are you here and taking care of me?”
She looked at him but she saw that it was an honest question. Not an accusation. She looked down at her food but then looked up.
“Because someone like you shouldn’t feel like this…”
She blushed.
“Thanks.”
She looked up and James gave her a little smile. They didn’t say anything but the silence wasn’t embarrassing. James looked around.
“I take it, it was you who cleaned my apartment?”
“Yes.”
Again silence. She looked outside and saw that it was still sunny outside. Could she ask him if he wanted to take a walk? She took the chance.
“Would you…I mean it’s a good weather outside and…would you join me for a walk?”
He sighed and looked down at his hands.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want.”
“If I can take a shower first then I will join you for a walk”
“I’ll do the dishes then.”

She looked after James as he went to the bedroom and then bathroom. She was surprised that he said yes but perhaps he needed to get outside. He would tell her if she wasn’t wanted anymore. She got her coat and her bag. Perhaps they could pop by her place. It wasn’t far from here. James came out from the bedroom and looked more human than before. He was wearing a pair of old jeans and a blue t-shirt. He took his shoes on and grabbed his jacket. She hurried to the door as he opened it and they went outside.

Since that day she always popped by James from time to time. Their walk had been nice and they had chatted about this and that. When they got back, he thanked her. She gave him her phone number and told him to call him whenever he needed to talk. No matter when and where. There just was something about James that made her give him her number. She cared for him even though it was the first time that she had been alone with him. He must have felt something because slowly it became a habit that he called her. Sometimes when he needed someone to talk to or if something funny had happened that day. Their phone calls also helped her. Even though she had lived in London for an year she had been too busy working to really making any friends. Her nights were no more so lonely. Martin had at first been surprised by their friendship but he was happy for them. She stood by James side when his divorce finally came through. Together with Nick and Sean they made sure that James was alright and that they knew that they were always here for him. The day she got him outside they had gone to the nearest park. They hadn’t spoken a word. Just walked. She had enjoyed the faraway sounds of other people and their lives. James had been absorbed in his own thoughts. Suddenly he had stopped her by grabbing her arm gently.
“Thank you.”
She smiled to him. Slowly they had started talking about everyday things. He asked her about her family and what she thought of working for Martin. Before she knew it an hour had gone. She looked around and realised that they were close to where she lived. She had invited James to her place and after she had assured him she didn’t mind they went there. He walked back to his place hours later with her phone number. She had said he could call her whenever he needed to talk. He had kept that promise.

Today they were going to visit James’ dad. He had asked her if she wanted to join him. His father wanted to meet this woman who had helped his son getting through this hard time. She had been honoured and said yes. They were sitting in the car and with the little traffic she enjoyed the landscape. Finally they arrived after James had given directions. He had cheekily blown the horn when they parked in front of the house and she had swatted his hand away grinning. His dad opened the door and welcomed both of them. She liked him right away and the feeling was mutual. Soon they were teasing James who laughed and called her a traitor. When she went to use the bathroom Monty looked at his son.

“If you are too slow some bloke will snatch her from you before you know it.”
James looked at his dad. He was surprised by his words and didn’t know what to say.
“We are just friends. Mary and I are just friends.”
His dad looked at him again.
“Are you so sure about that?”
James frowned and looked confused at his dad. He looked up as Mary came back and she sat down next to him. His father words were still ringing in his head but he ignored them. They were friends. His dad was being silly. Wasn’t he?

On the way home they talked about the day. Mary had had a lot of fun and she really liked James’ dad. James was saying that he couldn’t be friends with her after she ganged up on him with his dad. They were joking back and forth. The last miles were spend in silence though. They were both getting tired after the long trip. She had to decline James’ offer for a cup of coffee. She had some work to do and she needed her bed. James waved when she drove off and went inside. When he was in his bed his dad’s words were the last he thought of before he fell asleep.

The next couple of weeks Mary were busy and rarely saw James. She saw him a few times at H or N or heard news about him from Nick or Sean. James had started composing again and Nicky told her that some of it was really beautiful. She was so happy for him. She ignored the little sting in her heart when Martin told her that James was seeing someone. He was her friend and she was happy for him. He deserved some happiness. She met James’ girlfriend Casey a few days later. James introduced her to her. She smiled and tried to ignore the voice inside her head that was screaming in pain and anger. She couldn’t stop the sigh when they said goodbye and left her office. Quickly she removed the tears that threatened to appear. That day she worked to stop herself from thinking about her reactions.

She got home that night. She had placed her bag on the kitchen table and kicked off her shoes when the phone rang. She went to pick it up. It was her sister who lived in Cornwall. They chatted about this and that. Her sister were going to Europe with her family and Mary had promised to look after her cottage while they were away. Mary was looking forward to it. She needed a vacation. Martin had almost ordered her to take some time off. He said that she was not looking too well and was concerned about her. She couldn’t really tell that she was afraid she had fallen in love with her friend, could she? She shook the unwelcome thoughts away and wrote the last instructions down. Tomorrow she was going to drive down there and enjoy her week off work. She turned off the phone but almost the second that she had placed it on the table, it rang again. She took it.
“Hello?”
“Hey…it’s me James.”
“James! How are you?”
“Yeah…I’m okay.”
She frowned. He was lying to her. He wasn’t okay. His voice sounded weird.
“No, you are not okay. What’s wrong James?”
She heard him sigh and fumbles with something.
“I’m…I’m no longer with Casey.”
“Oh no. What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I just…I don’t know. Why can’t I be lucky just for once?!”
Her heart went for him when she heard his sad words. Without thinking she said:
“Pack a suitcase, James. I don’t want to hear any objections from you. You are going with me to Cornwall. Take your guitar with you. I will arrange everything with Martin.”
James didn’t object. She then called Martin and told him that she and James were going to Cornwall. Martin didn’t ask why but he probably knew about the split between James and his girlfriend. Martin told her to take good care of James and make him happy. She was a bit confused about his last words but shrugged it away.

When they arrived at her sister’s house, James seemed in a better mood. It had taken him some time before he had started saying anything. She had talking about this and that. She wouldn’t pressure him into talking. Then he had commented to something they had seen and soon they were chatting. When she had driven up the little road to the cottage they had been laughing after James had told her what Nicky had been up to once at a gig.

James looked around. Her sister had brought it years ago and had slowly restored it. Now it was looking like something out of a magazine with posh houses in the country side. Her husband was a gardener so the garden was looking really amazing. James turned around and looked at her.
“It’s really nice here.”
She smiled and went to the door. She found her key in the bag and they went inside. While she was unpacking the stuff they had bought in the village few miles from here, James was looking around. She didn’t blame him at all. Her sister and husband had really made this house into something special. She loved being here and tried to visit them as often as possible.

She found him in the library. He was studying the books. She made a little noise to make him aware that she was there. He looked at her and smiled.
“I better show you your room.”
“Oh yes.”
They went upstairs. She had decided to give him the guest room out towards the garden. It had a little balcony and the view was amazing. She told him that dinner would be ready in an hour if he wanted to freshen up a bit. He said that he would take a quick shower as the trip had made him all sweaty and sticky. She left him after showing where the bathroom were and after she found some towels for him.

He came down right as she was putting plates on the table. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt. He was on bare feet and he looked absolutely gorgeous. She had to check up on the food before he saw her blushing. Her heart was jumping and she had butterflies in her stomach. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to ask him here. She was startled as James had a little peek in the oven.
“Oh sorry!”
He said and looked at her.
“It’s okay. I was just lost in my own thoughts for a bit.”
He smiled.
“It smells wonderful.”
“I hope you’ll like it. It’s soon done so if you want, you can open that bottle of red.”
They were chatting while she was preparing the last and then they sat down to eat. James was praising her food and she blushed. They sat talking and suddenly she noticed that they had been sitting there for two hours and that it was dark outside. They helped each other doing the dishes. James opened another bottle of wine and they sat down on the sofa. She had lit up a few candles and a lamp at the door. She had arranged the fireplace. It was a bit too early for doing that but it gave a cozy and nice atmosphere. They talked again but slowly they just stared into the fire. She was trying to fight off the little voice in her head that told her that she was alone with James. That now she had her chance. She couldn’t and wouldn’t do it. He didn’t feel anything for her.
“She left me because she knew that I loved someone else.”
She looked up. James was staring into the fire but then he looked at her.
“I know now that she was right. I didn’t want to admit it at that time.”
“I’m sorry, James.”
He sighed.
“It’s not your fault. I’m lucky to have you as a friend.”
She looked down at her glass. He didn’t know how much his words hurt her. She knew now that she loved him but he didn’t see her as more a friend. She would just have to pull through. Then she felt James’ hand on her arm. She looked up and met his eyes. The soft light from the candles and the fire place made his eyes look dark but warm. She wished she had the guts to tell him what she felt right then.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded and smiled. They both stared into the fire. Slowly her eyes got heavy and she hid a little yawn. She sat her glass on the table next to the sofa. She took her feet up on the sofa but slowly her head fell down onto James’ shoulder. Soon after she was asleep. James was getting sleepy too and by instinct took her in his arms. They snuggled up to each other and were soon fast asleep.

She woke up the next morning. She opened her eyes and were confused. Where was she? She blinked a few times but then remembered that she was at her sister’s house. She yawned and heard someone chuckle. She smiled sleepily to James. She didn’t care how they had ended up being so close on the sofa. All she knew was that she felt safe and warm. She snuggled closer to him and buried her head at his chest. She could hear his heart beating quickly. She looked up.
“Morning.”
James looked at her and brushed hair away from her face.
“Morning.”
Suddenly she had problems breathing as she looked into his eyes. With his ruffled hair and sleepy look on his face, he looked really handsome. His thumb was stroking her chin and she couldn’t stop herself from leaning into the caress. She saw his head coming closer. When their lips met she whimpered and pulled him closer. They kissed for how long she didn’t know. She whimpered again but in protest when James stopped kissed her. He rested his forehead on hers and sighed.
“Jesus, I’m…so sorry. I shouldn’t have done it.”
She looked at him and couldn’t hide she was hurt.
“Why?”
“Because you don?t feel the same as I do. I let my feelings rule for a few seconds and...”
She bit her lip and found all the courage she needed.
“I love you, James.”
She looked up at him and gasped. James was smiling and she had never seen him smile like that before. His eyes shone for happiness.
“I thought that you weren’t interested. I tried telling you last night but you wouldn’t…”
She pulled him down and kissed him. His hands strokes her body and she sighed. This amazing man loved her and she was a very happy woman. James pushed her under his body and she stopped thinking…

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