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| NEVER MINE by Greeboina <<< part 1 PART 2 I woke up as my alarm clock started ringing. I yawned and stretched my body. Then I remembered. While getting ready for work and feeding my demanding cat my thoughts were still focused on last night. I knew my friend and boss would know and be concerned. I sighed but then decided to forget it. He wouldn’t come back to me. It would be stupid to think that. As I entered my office my boss was standing looking quite concerned. Before he could say anything I said: “I’m all right. Saw it last night. I’m not going to end up as a crying and crazy wreck, okay?” “Sure?” My boss looked at the dark circles under my eyes. I looked at him again and smiled. “Okay, sweetheart. Now where is that paper you promised me?” “Here you are boss” I gave him my report and we started working. In my lunch break my friend called me as I had foretold she would. After I had repeated what I had told my boss we talked about this and that. As I was packing my stuff my boss came back. “Someone called you , I think. He asked for you but when I told him you weren’t here he rang off.” “Probably my brother. He does that a lot.” “Okay. See you on Monday.” “Yeah. See you” As I went to get my bike I thought about the mysterious caller. It could be my brother or it could be…No! Don’t finish that thought. After having done some necessary shopping at Tesco’s I started my journey home. My mind was busy with all the thinks I was going to do that I didn’t notice him until I got halfway up to my door. James. He got up when he saw me and he looked at me with uncertain eyes. He tried to remove the cat hair from his jeans. He had obviously been sitting here for a while. Juniper was trying to get his attention. That little traitor. “You want a cup of tea?” Whatever he wanted I would be nice to him. I was not going to rip up old wounds. As I opened the door I asked myself if I would be able to hold that promise… When we got inside and sat at my kitchen table with out tea, we both looked awkward at each other. I looked at him as he smiled when Juniper jumped up to him. She was almost ecstatic when he started stroking her. “She likes you.” He looked at me. I had forgotten his eyes . His beautiful eyes that could show so many feelings. I looked down again and poured some more sugar in my tea. “You always used too much sugar. No wonder you always were so bouncy” I smiled but then there was silence again. “Why are you here?” “You know about…” His voice trailed away. He looked down again. “I couldn’t live a lie. I’m ashamed to say it but I married her to show that I was over you. That I didn’t need you. I should have known it wouldn’t work. When you didn’t answer my phone calls, my letters or my visits I wanted to forget everything. Pretend it never happened. So I married her.” His voice was bitter. So unlike him. I tried to fight against it but my defence was slowly destroyed. I still loved him for fuck’s sake. I looked at Juniper who was almost attacking him with her affectionate purring and happiness. “Why are you here?” He looked me in the eyes. “You. I woke up one morning and knew I couldn’t continue this. When you left me I found out you meant more to me then I wanted to admit. It’s never easy to admit you took someone for granted is it?” “Are you hungry. I have some sandwiches..” “No. I’m here to clear this out. What the result will be you only know!” To get some time I got to get some more tea and sandwiches. I wasn’t hungry but it would give me time to think. He had more or less told me he loved me but was I prepared to forgive him? I sat down again and Juniper left James and jumped up on my lap. Absently I stroked her while I was thinking of what to say. Then James broke through my thoughts. “She is cute. Your cat” “Her name is Juniper. I got her after my neighbour found her and her siblings in the woods. Some one had tried to get rid off them. She was the only survivor. I hated you, James…” “I know” “You meant everything to me and you broke my heart. When I found out you were engaged …I had to cut you from my life or I would go crazy.” He ran his fingers through his hair. He was clearly distressed. I continued stroking Juniper. Was I ready to admit I still loved him? I looked at him. He looked awful to be honest. He had lost weight since I saw him and his eyes had a pained and lost look in them. He had hurt me so much but I was willing to give him a chance. Before I could tell him he suddenly stood up. “I better go. You’re clearly not interested. I’ll leave you” Before he could go I stood up and grabbed his hand. Juniper was clearly offended and walked out from the kitchen. James looked down at my hand and then into my eyes. “Stay” I could see he was struggling but I had made my choice. We both had to leave the past. “Stay, James. Please?” “Like you had to ask me!” I smiled relieved. James caressed my face slowly and gently as he smiled to me. I could see how much he loved me. Wait a sec. It was the same expression as the one I couldn’t read when… My thoughts were wonderfully interrupted as he kissed me. We still had a lot to talk about but for now this was enough. The End <<< Greeboina's stories |