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| NEVER MINE by Greeboina PART 1 I was mad. No other word could describe it. How dare he? How dare that bloody wanker do that to me?! I was throwing my stuff into my suitcase and made sure of that I smashed things while I was at it. I was in Cardiff in my apartment and I had just got a call from one of my friends. I had been waiting for James to get here but that phone call changed everything. I had been shocked at first but then my temper had won. That wanker was getting married and it wasn’t with me. I had just been a bit on the side! Now I was packing my stuff to get out of here. No matter what James said it wouldn’ be good enough. I was swearing and packing/throwing with things and I didn’t hear James getting in. As I was swearing about men and their many faults while picking up my jacket, I saw a pair of blue sneakers. I looked up and there was the source for all this. “So WHEN would you tell me about this?” I asked him and was standing looking at him and literally fuming for anger. He looked very uncomfortable and was biting his bottom lip. “Well?” He looked down at his shoes. He had his hands in his jeans pockets and was clearly run out of words. I looked at him, swore and then I took my jacket and the suitcase and went for the door. Before I reached the door James grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I turned around and he took a step back when he saw how mad and hurt I was. I looked into his brown eyes and I could feel how my anger was slowly drifting away. That bloody idiot knew how to make me feel weak! I looked at him and before he knew it I pushed him down onto the floor. If he was going to leave me then I would be sure he would never forget me! James opened his mouth but before he could say a word I pressed my lips to his. I was not going to loose control. I would make him beg and it would be my revenge. He was going to suffer as I did. I would make sure he wouldn’t forget me! I pressed him down and as I kissed him hard I opened his jeans and pulled them done. James didn‘t move and when I look up he looked shocked. When I had pulled his jeans down, I straddled him, ripped my knickers off, grabbed his cock and slowly pushed it into my wet pussy down. James woke up and grabbed my hips but I removed them roughly. “Don’t even think about that!” I took his hands and placed them under his head. His eyes were filled with lust but also with something I couldn’t read. I pushed it aside. I started to fuck him merciless. Every time I could feel he was close to coming, I stopped and looked him into his eyes. He begged me to continue but I was cold as ice. I leaned down and bit his lip hard to make him shut up. He gasped and I kissed him. My hands went down his body as I fucked him and I made sure my nails made marks. He wasn’t mine anymore but I would mark him as mine. Maybe just for a short while but he would have been mine for a short time. I could feel I was close to coming and I forgot to keep an eye on James. Suddenly he grabbed me and pushed me hard down onto his cock. I screamed as I felt my orgasm trashing through my body and I was followed by James. As I slowly came back to earth I felt a hand stroking my hair. I looked up and my eyes met James’. All my feelings came back and with a pained little sound I got up, grabbed my jacket and suitcase. I fled down the stairs and as I came out I was so lucky a cab was waiting. I jumped in and told him to get going. As he drove away I looked back. I could see James and I could see he was yelling something. I turned around with tears in my eyes. He would never be mine and I had to accept that. I gave the taxi driver the address of my friend and sat back again. Tears were running down my face. Never mine… A Year Later… I rubbed my eyes . It was 1am and I was getting tired. I had to hand in the report to my boss tomorrow but I had finally finished it. A year had went since I left James. I had moved into my friends apartment and she had helped me with selling my old apartment. The memories were too strong and painful. James had called me the first month but I had ignored it. I had to go on without him and if this was the way to do it, then okay. Letters, calls and visits had made my life a living hell. I just couldn’t go back to him. But it turned out that I didn’t meant that much to him because he got married four months later. Four months… I haven’t seen him since then. It probably helped that I moved away from Wales. I had to get away so now I live in a town near Birmingham. I got a job by my friend’s cousin and it’s a good job. I’ve even bought a house. Nothing fancy just a nice little house. I’m happy here. I’m away from the memories of what could have been. I pushed the unwelcome thought away from me and took a sip of my coffee. Eugh! It was cold. I sighed and stretched my weary body. Just a little peek at the news and then off to bed. I started my laptop and as I waited, I hummed. Suddenly I realised that I was humming ‘Bright Eyes’ and stopped. It had been my favourite song and James had often sung it for me. I shook the unwelcome memory away. Not now. It’s all in the past. My cat Juniper jumped up onto my lap and she purred as I started stroking her. I got her as my neighbour one day came home with a litter of kittens. He had found them in the woods and they had been in a box. Someone had clearly tried to get rid of them. Juniper had been the only survivor. She was black except for a white spot on her nose. She reminded me of Nicky sometimes. I sighed again. It seemed that this would be one of those nights. I stroked Juniper on her head and smiled as I looked up at the screen. Then my smile slowly faded away. Juniper jump off my lap with a little offended mewl but I just looked at the screen. “Manic Lead singer Divorcing His Wife” “The lead singer of the Manic Street Preachers has , according to sources, filed for divorce. It has been impossible to get any comments from the band or family. Many thought that this would never happen as the pair seemed so happy and in love. Their manager Martin Hall has refused to comment this when we approached him. The marriage lasted only half a year.” I must have looked at the screen for a long time and it was first when Juniper started to cry pathetically that I could get my eyes away from the screen. “I’m coming sweetheart” I took her bowl, opened a can of tuna and put it down to her again. As she happily ate thoughts were floating around in my head. I felt sorry for them but deep down I was happy. I knew it wasn’t fair but I couldn’t help it. I knew it was stupid but I was still in love with him. Sometimes humans can be so stupid. My thoughts were interrupted by Juniper pushing against my leg. “You little sweet thing. Don’t like mummy doesn’t pay attention to you?” I took her under my arm and went for the bathroom. As I brushed my teeth and Juniper had snuggled herself on the towels my thoughts went back to James. After he had stopped trying to contact me I had made myself believe that I was happy. That it was that that I wanted. It had worked until I had heard the news about his marriage. My friend would probably call me tomorrow when she saw the news. She had been there as I had broke down. Before that I had dreamt he would come back to me one more time and we would be happy forever after. I was wrong. I put the toothbrush back again and Juniper jumper down from the towels and ran into my bedroom. When I got inside she was sitting in the middle of my bed licking her paw. I climbed into my bed and after a little struggling with my cat we both were drifting off into sleep. part 2 >>> <<< Greeboina's stories |