- Year: 1995
- Starring: MC Kung Fu, Kathy Barbour, Philthy Phil Philips, John Williams, J. Haran and introducing Deva as Ray Ray
- Directed/Co-Written by: Philthy Phil Philips
- Running time: 95 minutes
Womanizer and martial artist Ray and his buddies, rapper Philty and "whigger" Rick, are all about the ladies and partying. One day Ray meets Tina and Ray falls in love and gives up his ways. Tina's abusive ex-boyfriend John, won't let his girl go without a fight. Attacking the guys and their girls at a bar sends Phility to the hospital. Ray and Tina are getting hot and heavy and Tina winds up pregnant and on Ray's doorstep after her father kicks her out. Ray proposes to Tina and when John finds out he flips out kills his co-works (one guy with a single punch?) and ends up in psychiatric care. Ray is busy at work and is forced to sleep with his boss (don't worry his boss is a chick) or else he'll lose his job. Tina who is feeling ignored because Ray is always at work tries to go talk to Ray only to catch him with his boss. Ray mopes around after Tina leaves him then gives birth to their baby. As fate would have it John is at the very same hospital getting an MRI for his craziness and he escapes and runs into Tina and kidnaps her baby, Ray Ray. Ray shows up to put a stop him and a happy ending all around as the new family is reunited.
Wow, after watching this one I'm not really sure where to start. There are so many ridiculous and stupid things happening I gave up and quit counting them. First of all, this movie is cheap looking. I have a pair of socks that cost more than the entire movie's budget. One scene has a girl talking on a phone that has packaging tape holding the cord into the phone. The dialogue is unbelievable horrible. After hearing some lines, you'll just shake your head at the fact that the writers actually considering it smart and funny writing. My god, the wardrobe! Just thinking about it scares me. Don't expect expertly choreographed fights, they look sloppy and it's obvious some blows miss by feet. Yet, it doesn't seem out of place. A martial arts movie with a message? Yes, that's right, it tackles the hard hitting social issues of domestic abuse, safe sex, mental illness, and sexual harrasment in the workplace.
But where's the Bruceploitation you ask? After Tina dumps Ray, he's sitting around the Sherman Oaks karate school feeling sorry for himself when John's brother Jack shows up with a bunch of his buddies to teach him a lesson. A couple loser start dissing Bruce Lee, one of them is an especially weird long haired freak wearing a Superman t-shirt and talking funny.
Moustached Moron: "They say he's a wannabe Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee's a fake, he's a nitwit. Trick photography, starving stuntman, he's a fake, just like you."
Ray: "What?"
Superfreak: "Hey hey hey hey hey! Are you hard of hearing Bruce-alike-Shwarzanegger-pretendaman? Bruce Lee was a pussy. Just like you, your father, your forefather's forefather's father. As a matter of fact, if Bruce Wee were alive today he'd be sucking my big schlong like big ol' lollipop."
Oh snap! You've done it now pal. Ray goes off and whacks the guy upside the head and then proceeds to beat up the entire posse of thugs while letting loose with the Bruce Lee cries. After finishing off the last one he looks up and holds out his fist and says, "That was for you Bruce. You're still the king of kung fu." At least he didn't ryhme that line.
Yet, after all that I'd still say you have to see this movie. My so called review cannot do the movie justice as it basically has to be seen to be believed. Despite the cheapness of the movie it managed to keep my attention which can be a very difficult task at sometimes. I give it "props" for that. Just watch it and you'll be amazed.
"Reviewed" by Keith.
Just for fun here are some "highlights" from CITY DRAGON:
The movie starts off with Ray picking up chicks because he drives a Corvette.
After spending the night with some chick he picked up, Ray takes off leaving her only a note. As she "reads" the note, Ray's voice is heard reading it out to her. Obviously, MC Kung Fu was in the room just off camera at the time doing the on the spot voice over.
Ray is pulled over for no reason by some gang bangers and has to beat them all up.
Ray and his buddies Philthy Phil and Rick talk in ryhme, and it's awfully bad ryhme too.
Ray walks out of a convience store with an ice cream when he's accosted by some more gang bangers. They step on his ice cream cone and all hell breaks loose.
After a confrontation with Tina's ex-boyfriend John, Philthy is stabbed and sent to the hospital. Once at home Ray rips off his jacket and shirt and begins to vigorously work out with his nunchuks which by the way are foam to let off some steam.
John who works in a restaurant kitchen goes nuts when he hears Ray and Tina and getting married. He kills his boss and two co-workers, one who happens to be gay and called Queen Mary.
John is sent to the . His room looks more like a doctor's examination room with intstruments on the wall, a lighted box thingy for looking at x-rays, and educational medical posters on the wall. Why would these be in a patient's room?
At a club called the Dragon's Lair, Philthy gets up on stage to do a rap that would give the Rapping Grannies some street cred.
Out for a walk Ray accidentally runs into some guy who drops his soda. Ray apologizes and the guy demands $1 for the soda, when Ray doesn't have it the guy attacks him.
Ray and crew are dancin' and rappin' in Venice Beach. If anyone has played Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 you'll recognize it from the Venice Beach level!
The security guard (Or was he a cop? The tin foil badge makes it hard to tell.) who catches John after he kills his co-workers is hilarious. The guy is freaking out when he catches John because it's his first real chance to shoot someone. He's disappointed when John gives himself up. Bummer.
John kidnaps Tina and Ray's baby and holds it off the roof of the hospital to keep Ray at bay. John says if Ray jumps off the roof, he'll let the baby go. As Ray is getting ready to jump, John changes his mind because that would be too easy for Ray. John wants a piece of Ray and well that's the dumbest plan ever as Ray kicks John's ass and (Surprise surprise!) John ends up falling off the roof of the hospital.
