BLESS ME, FATHER

by Margie Milan
czonian@mindspring.com

RATING: PG-13
FEEDBACK: Yes Please
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: This story was beta'ed by Maril Swan.
DISCLAIMER: The Queen of Swords characters are copyright to Fireworks Productions and Paramount. The other folks in this tale and the story plot are original and copyright to the author, Margie Milan.

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The night air was so chilly, it caused a shiver to course through Tessa's body as she stood by the window admiring the stars that were visible in the night sky. The full moon afforded a reflection more pronounced tonight, than any of the other previous nights making the night seem like day. Feeling a little cold, Tessa closed the window and walked over to the fireplace where a crackling fire had started to warm up the living room.

Tessa felt that some wine would warm her even more and went to the kitchen for a glass. Marta was just finishing the dishes of their evening meal. Tessa walked over to the cupboard and pulled out two glasses. She looked over her shoulder at Marta and asked,"Marta, would you join me for a glass of wine in the living room". Marta, wiping her hands on her apron, nodded in acknowledgement. Tessa picked up the glasses and started back towards the living room with her friend following behind.

As Marta entered the living room, she told Tessa "the fire has made the room more cozy". Tessa walked over to the wine cabinet to select one of her best wines, which the hacienda had produced. Marta watched Tessa trying to make a decision of which bottle to choose. After looking at the bottles, Tessa chose a red wine that had been fermented for over two years. She grabbed the bottle and walked over to the fireplace and sat down on the rug in front of it inviting Marta to join her. Marta wondered why Tessa had chosen to sit down on the rug when the living room had some perfectly comfortable furniture in which they could sit and relax. Marta crouched down and sat down next to her.

Tessa took the two glasses and filled each one with the red vintage wine and handed Marta her glass. The Gypsy woman took the glass and waited. Tessa picked up her glass and raised it saying, "A toast for another quiet night without the Queen's appearance".

Marta regarded Tessa strangely, wondering at her unusual mood, then also raised her glass. Both took a long sip of the red wine. Marta told Tessa "humm...the red wine is very sweet to the palate".

Tessa acknowledged her with a smile and said to Marta "yes, this is by far the best tasting of all the wines".

Finally, Marta wondered why the younger woman was in such good spirits and asked, "Tessa, what is going on, why are we celebrating tonight?" From her expression, she knew that Tessa wanted to tell her something important.

Tessa's mood suddenly changed and her happiness turned to a look of shame. Marta placed her glass down on the floor and saw Tessa do the same. "Marta, I need your opinion about a decision I need to make, but I don't know how to tell you."

Marta reached across and grabbed Tessa's hands and held them within her own to show her support. "Tessa, whatever it is, you know that you can tell me, because I'm always here for you." Tessa squeezed Marta's hands and exhaled indicating to Marta that she was nervous about what she was about to say.

The younger woman cleared her throat and said in a low voice, "Marta, tomorrow is Sunday and I'd like to go to church and attend the morning Mass But before I do, I've been thinking of confessing myself."

Marta gave Tessa a brief smile, but in her eyes was anxiety. "Tessa, are you sure you are ready to confess to the Padre ...everything?" Tessa turned away and stared at the fireplace where the fire had started to subside and only the burned wood produced a red glow.

"Marta, you know that ever since I've followed my destiny, there have been many occasions which I am not proud of." Marta acknowledged by nodding her head and Tessa continued. "As the Queen, I have killed men, stolen, and lied. I have violated three commandments, and I feel I need to come clean in order to be at peace with myself. Before I took up my cause of fighting for the oppressed and to seek justice against Colonel Montoya and his corrupt command, I had those values which I learned to respect as I was growing up. Now everything has changed."

Marta said gently, "I know that you have strong feelings about everything that you've had to contend with ever since hiding behind the lace mask and donning the Queen's black clothing. You have made a difference in the lives of the people of Santa Helena. As the Queen, you have managed to make right many injustices. If you think that by confessing to the Padre about everything that the Queen has done, and that it will help you feel less remorseful, then I will support whatever decision you make."

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Morning arrived and Tessa was wide awake, tired from not being able to get any sleep after she and Marta had gone to bed the evening before. During the night, Tessa had managed to doze off for a brief while, the effects of the wine, but awoke suddenly remembering the decision she had to make. Tessa had lain in her bed for hours pondering her dilemma of going through the process of confession. After thinking it over carefully, she made up her mind and wanted to tell Marta her decision. Tessa crawled out of bed and began to prepare herself.

Wearing the yellow dress Marta had made for her and finishing the touches to her hair that she swept up into a bun, she left her room to seek out Marta. Tessa entered the kitchen to see Marta preparing the morning breakfast and sat down at the table very quietly. Marta, who had noticed that Tessa had entered the kitchen turned around to face her. Tessa's eyes were red and appeared that she hadn't slept a wink all night. Marta had not slept well either. The two looked at each other in silence for a few minutes and then Tessa spoke.

"Marta, I've decided and I'm going to confess everything to Padre Salvatierra and accept whatever happens after that."

Marta sat down at the table with Tessa and said to her, "If this is what you want and feel it is the right thing to do, then I will accompany you to church this morning to be there for you." She saw Tessa smile wanly, as if she felt she had received from Marta the courage she needed to face what was going to happen.

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The wagon ride into town was quiet as both women sat together just admiring the same view they would see every time they traveled into the pueblo of Santa Helena. The church bells were ringing loud signalling to the town and the surrounding areas that there would be a morning Mass starting soon. Tessa and Marta drove the wagon to the back of the church, climbed down and tethered the horses. As they started to walk towards the front of the church, Tessa noticed that she and Marta had arrived too early and Padre Salvatierra was probably inside preparing for the morning Mass.

She hesitated a moment, but felt Marta's sustaining hand touch her arm, giving her encouragement. As Tessa and Marta approached the steps to the church Marta said, "I will wait here for your return." As I always have, Marta added silently, watching Tessa approaching the church door.

Tessa opened the door to the church and stepped inside. The church was beautifully decorated and she spotted Padre Salvatierra at the front of the church arranging the altar. As Tessa made her way to the front, Padre Salvatierra noticed a presence and turned to see who had entered the church. Tessa knelt before the altar and crossed herself.

As she was getting up, Padre Salvatierra approached her. He said "Buenos Dias, Senorita Alvarado, it is so nice to see you at church this morning" and extended his hand towards Tessa and she kissed it.

Tessa looked uncertainly at Padre Salvatierra. "Buenos dias, Padre. Yes, it has been a long time. Padre, will you be holding confessions before Mass this morning?"

"Yes, I will be listening to confessions in a few minutes as soon as I am done." Tessa acknowledged his answer with a nod and walked towards the church pew next to the confessional to wait. Padre Salvatierra finished his preparations and walked towards the confessionals and saw Tessa looking very pensive. She was seated on a church pew waiting when she noticed that Padre Salvatierra had entered the booth. She got up and entered the confessional, kneeling before the good Padre.

The Padre began, "In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spiritàwhat sins have you committed?"

Tessa hesitated a moment then cleared her throat. "Forgive me Padre, it has been a long time since my last confession and I have committed several sins".

Padre Salvatierra answered Tessa, "tell me, my child, what could be so terrible that you have sinned."

Tessa answered him in a low whisper. "Well, Padre, so much has happened, I don't know where to begin".

The Padre told Tessa "take a moment to collect your thoughts and begin when you are ready."

Tessa swallowed and took a deep breath. "Padre, I suspect my father was killed by unknown assailants. I believe he was murdered but I have yet to prove who killed him. In a vision, I received a message from my father telling me that I have a special purpose in my life, a destiny which only I can fulfill, with a lace mask and my sword ù an avenger known to everyone in Santa Helena as the æQueen of Swords'.

She heard a sharp intake of breath from behind the screen. Steeling herself, Tessa continued. "Padre, I have killed men, in self-defense; I have stolen gold, not for myself but for the oppressed who are taxed unfairly by Colonel Montoya; and I have lied before God in becoming the Queen of Swords and using the disguise to protect the innocent and exact vengeance upon those who are guilty."

"Madre de Dios!", was all Padre Salvatierra could say after hearing Tessa confess to being the masked avenger. "Do you realize what you have just told me. This places me in a terrible predicament, but as your confessor I can never divulge your secret."

Tessa listened with a sigh of relief after telling Padre Salvatierra the torment that had plagued her ever since she had donned the lace mask.

The Padre shook his head dolelfully, and said, "What you have told me does not justify your actions. You have committed several sins."

Tessa responded, "Yes Padre, I know, but..."

Padre Salvatierra continued, "Do you remember what the fifth commandment says?" "It says, thou shall not kill" and you have done so. Why have you committed such a terrible sin, my child?"

"Forgive me Padre, I didn't mean to kill those men, but when I feared my life was in danger, I protected myself. I do not wish to harm anyone and I feel guilty for killing those men. The Queen only kills in self-defense and not for any other reason."

"Yes, but you should forgive your enemies not kill them. Only God has the right to take away the life of a human being, not man or woman for any reason."

The Padre's soft voice came to her as a whisper, like her guilty conscience. She said, "I try Padre, really I do. I have to live with that fact everyday of my life."

Then the Padre said, "you have also broken the seventh commandment which says, thou shall not steal. What have you to say about robbing the gold?"

Tessa took a moment then explained, "Yes, I did it. I stole the gold to return it back to those families, which have been stripped of their lands for not being able to pay the heavy taxes imposed on them by Colonel Montoya."

The Padre responded, "Tessa, stealing is a sin committed against man and before God. Whether it is for a good cause or not, there is no exception and it cannot be condoned."

"I know Padre, but trust me. I will make the greatest sacrifice if I have to in order to ensure justice is done."

He didn't speak for several seconds, as he considered her last comment. "And what about the lie you live, what can you tell me about this sin?"

Tessa explained, "Well Padre, with this disguise I am a different person, someone who has the confidence to fight for what I believe in. Everyone wears a disguise, Padre, because we all have something to hide. Mine just happens to be the Queen of Swords. With my sword I protect the innocent and fight for the weak. Yes, I deceive everyone with my secret life, but it is to fulfill my destiny. So Padre, I've lied before God and unto others in leading a double life."

Padre Salvatierra added, "a lie which can cost you plenty of heartache since you have to live with it daily." Tessa remained silent and Padre Salvatierra didn't say another word. After several minutes of silence, Padre Salvatierra expressed his concern to Tessa. "Tessa, this is a very delicate situation. Taking vengeance as a masked avenger is not proper for a lady of your stature and position. You are very fortunate that Colonel Montoya has not captured or arrested you for the crimes you have done against him and the royal court. Remember that he is the authority here in Santa Helena and he has on several occasions voiced his distaste for this Queen of Swords."

Tessa responded, "But Padre, please trust me when I tell you that my plans are to ensure there is justice for Santa Helena, even if I have to battle against Colonel Montoya to get it."

The Padre said, "You have a good heart Tessa or Queen of Swords. You are a very generous person who puts her soul into this quest, but forging a war against Colonel Montoya could only cause you more suffering, spilled blood, more death and possibly cost you your life. Remember that you can not be both judge and jury before God to punish the guilty."

"Yes Padre, I understand. Will you absolve me of the sins for which I wish to be forgiven?"

Padre Salvatierra raised his hand in blessing, "for all your offenses, may you be absolved. Your penitence will be to pray ten Aves and ten Pater Nosters, plus attend Mass every Sunday and pray to the Virgin Mary for guidance and wisdom. Although I do not agree with your methods, may God be with you always. Be careful when you are the Queen of Swords and hide behind the mask."

"Thank you Padre. I feel relieved that I have confessed to you my identity and purpose. I will begin those prayers immediately."

With a solemn expression on his young face, Padre Salvatierra departed the confessional to begin the second ringing of the church bells. Tessa stepped out into the church. She went to the statue of the Virgin Mary to kneel before her, light a candle and begin her prayers.

The Mass was held and Tessa stayed to hear Padre Salvatierra's Sunday sermon about how God's children should never live a life filled with sins. Tessa sat on the church pew listening and knew that he was referring to her. After Mass ended, Tessa knelt before the altar and crossed herself. She got up and started to walk down the aisle towards the church's front exit. Padre Salvatierra was standing by the doors addressing each of his parishioners as they were leaving and spotted Tessa approaching him.

He performed the sign of the cross and gave her his blessing. "Vaya con Dios," he said with extra feeling.

Tessa turned to leave, and with a look of relief on her face, saw Marta near the wagon, waiting for her in the front of the church. Marta walked up to Tessa and embraced her. Without a word, the women climbed into the seat of the wagon and headed out of the pueblo. On their journey back to the hacienda, Marta, who was driving the team of horses, asked Tessa if she was feeling better.

Tessa smiled at her and said "I feel like I have lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, Marta. And don't worry, everything is just fine."

Marta patted her hand, and said, "Just as long as you are at peace with yourself, then I am happy for you. Perhaps you made the right choice. They say confession is good for the soul." Both women gazed silently at their surroundings, admiring the beautiful day it turned out to be.