| Name:
Patrick (Rick) J. Kessler Jr |
| Current
Residence: Adrian, Michigan |
| Hometown:
Lambertville, Michigan |
| Occupation:
Newspaper Editor & Homemaker |
| Astrological
Sign: Capricorn |
| Hobbies:
Cursing the Michigan State Spartans; Napping on
Sundays while the Detroit Lions lose; Cursing the
Detroit Tigers; Falling asleep to the Detroit Red
Wings; Feigning interest in the Detroit Pistons. |
| Special
Skills: Watching three television programs
at the same time; Picking up toys, dirty clothes,
toys, food scraps, toys, clean clothes, books and
toys; Knowing what is coming on Nickelodeon and/or
Disney each night; |
| Celebrity
Look-Alike: Wally Cleaver and/or
Dirk Diggler. |
| If
I were and animal, I would be a:
So sorry, I thought you said
"goat." |
| If
this song is played at the reception, I will be
dancing: No fair! Everyone knows I just
gotta dance whenever my mom gets on stage, grabs
the microphone and sings "Natural Woman"
like a cheesy Vegas lounge singer laying pone on
the piano. In a halter-top. |
| Favorite
Drink:
Cold beer |
| How
did you meet the Groom? My mom didn't have
a headache, then she got a big belly and then she
had a big poop and then there he was. |
| How
long have you known the Groom? Long enough
to know that when we sang the "name
game" in our bunk beds, he always wanted to
use Uncle Chuck's name. |
| Have
you ever dated the Bride? Yes, I figure
she's in her early 20s. |
| Favorite
story about you and the Groom: He's
the baddest badass around when it comes to taking
on dangerous Texan hitchhikers. |
| Who
do you like better, Casey or Marc? I
like them both the same amount. I can't like them
any more than what I do now. There aren't words to
describe how much I like them. |
| In
bridal party survivor, who would you vote off
first? Kendra Ries, because I fear her. |
| Advice
for the bride for after she is married:
Two words: "Yes, dear." |
