Heaven – The Director's Cut

(A fiction by Cella)

...He's an angel in both fantasy and real life. This is my interpretation of that angel. He's my character. He's her love – her lover – her friend. They only have 24 hours to make a lifetime of memories. The love is already there, as if by magic. Magic is throughout my tale. And it is a tale – a story – just a fiction I've put to paper. Let them have the most memorable of nights.

(From the author's notes)

*~ *~ *~ *~ *

I found myself awakened by the harsh sound of the alarm this morning, an open magazine next to me. How did I get in my bed?

No…don’t tell me that was just a dream. It wasn’t just a dream.

It was Heaven. If only for a day.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It all started and ended with that picture in ELLE. That beautifully-evil picture of Clay Aiken, supine with a look on his face that could lead me to question his virtue. At the sight of that ravishing visage, I felt an enormous electrical pulse run through my body, then found I couldn’t breathe. The room spun and I sent up a prayer as everything went black…then the white light appeared.

The next thing I knew I was on the sun deck of the ship Infinity. A beautiful behemoth, she is reminiscent of the great old liners, but with all the modern conveniences, and then some. A ship I was very familiar with, but had never been on. Passengers scurried all around me.

Suddenly, I felt a charge – someone just walked right through me! He stopped and looked around, confused, then continued on his walk. I took a deep breath of salty air and looked out on the azure water of the Caribbean Sea all the way to the horizon.

The Noon Horn blew and I nearly leapt out of my skin, grabbing at the railing. After the first couple seconds, I calmed down a bit and just listened to that powerful sound.

What is going on? How did I get here? A sweet southern voice from behind me answered.

“You’re in Heaven, honey.”

I turned around and couldn't believe my eyes. The stuff of mortal dreams and fantasies I couldn't have fathomed, because it would be just too good to be true, is now true!

Clay. On a ship. At sea. Talking to... me!

I must be dead. This must be Heaven, because this would never have happened on Earth. Tears of joy welled in my eyes and I beamed brightly at him.

I took a deep breath and smiled again. At this point, I couldn't help but smile. I decided to jokingly play the Southern Belle and batted my eyelashes.

“Why Clayton Holmes Aiken,” I cooed, “I never thought I’d see you on a cruise ship. I thought you didn’t like the wau-ter.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure about this myself, but I was assured that it would be fine.”

He paused a moment and smiled.

“I didn’t know just how fine it would be until I saw you standing there.”

There went my Southern Belle routine. I stood there astonished; the levity drained away.

I must be dead. This must be Heaven. If I heard him say that to me on Earth, I would have died on the spot, but I'm still standing on this deck.

I drank in his presence a moment as he walked to me. He wore a cream-colored silk shirt, untucked, with matching silk pants. So casual, so comfortable – not a wrinkle in sight. His auburn hair was casually mussed, as if fresh from the shower and just finger-combed back. Leather sandals accentuated his long toes. Freckles dotted his cheeks and forehead. Long strawberry eyelashes fluttered over translucent green eyes.

He stood before me with a smile that lit the outdoors, then he took me by the hands and kissed me. I levitated a few inches off the teak deck. After my feet set down again, I couldn’t help but be puzzled.

“You were waiting for me? You’re really Clay...Aiken? I should make you tell me your life story to prove who you are. Oh no, wait...you didn’t DIE, did you?”

“No, honey, I didn't die,” he snickered, then took a deep breath. “This is going to be a little hard to explain, so bear with me. On Earth…the mortal you and the mortal Clay exist. Here on this plane – uh, ship – er, this part of Heaven – souls from those alive and dead can be brought here. More specifically, pieces of those souls can be brought here. All mortals are capable of creating infinite pieces to their souls when their lives are touched by another. Those pieces become only for that other mortal.”

“Ok, I think I understand what you’re saying, but when did I touch your life? You’ve never even met me.”

“Yes, I have….I lurk.”

I smiled and jumped a little where I stood. “We knew it! We knew you did. Those little signs here and there weren't our imaginations.”

Upon a little additional reflection, my eyes widened as I remembered some of the things I had posted. He started to giggle.

“Oh, dear. I’m not sure what to say about my posts.”

“You've written some very, shall we say…interesting…posts over the last few months. Other posts have been absolutely hilarious. But, when you weren't being...enthusiastic...I saw that you really cared about my having a happy life, and…and I really appreciate that. You've been very sweet.”

My heart melted and I was speechless again – utterly floored. I looked down and blushed. This is the most fantastic thing I could ever have imagined.

“Well, I’ve been told you know a lot about this ship,” Clay continued, trying to break the tension. “I’d really like it if you would show me around here. My goodness, it’s enormous.”

A little dark thought crossed my mind as my head was still lowered. I tried to hide a sly grin. Shouldn't that be my line, Clay? I couldn't believe I was still thinking such thoughts, but, I raised my head and responded to him.

“I’ve never actually been on this ship, but I’ve been on two of her sister ships, so even though the décor will be somewhat different, they have the same deck layout.”

“Oh, I see. Well, lead on, Miss Tour Guide.”

He held out his elbow and I slid my hand into the crook of his arm. “Ok then. How about we relax in the Atrium for a little while.”

We moved across the sun deck to the rail that overlooked the main swimming pool. We watched the activity for a few minutes, then took the stairs to poolside, where we made our way forward to the atrium. The sliding door opened and we saw scads of mortals soaking in the warm saltwater therapy pool, then found two available teak lounge chairs. Between the mortals’ activity and the sound of rushing water bouncing off the walls, the atrium was quite noisy.

“I love this area of the ship,” I said as we sat in the lounges. “As fair as I am, I've enjoyed many a sunny day at the pool, watching the clouds go by, all without getting sunburned.”

“Well, I can certainly appreciate the advantage of being 'under glass',” Clay said as he held out his pale arms.

I giggled then pointed toward the right corner of the pool. “See those huge faucets pouring down water?”

“Goodness, those things look like huge steel candy canes!”

I giggled a bit. “I never thought of them that way, but they do look like that! Anyway, you stand under them to knock out the knots in your neck and shoulders.” We watched a mortal man subject his upper body to the strong deluge. Every once in a while, he held onto the nearby railing to keep his footing. “Mostly men use it and seem to enjoy it, but if I got under it, the force of the stream would probably knock me under the water!” Clay snickered at my little joke.

“And then there’s the bubble beds.” I said as I motioned toward the two large tubular-steel lounges in the pool where half a dozen mortals lay. “You swim up, lie back, and let loads of gentle bubbles kiss your skin.”

Uh, oh. Maybe I shouldn’t have put it that way. There go those thoughts again. I sallied forth.

“It’s very relaxing, but the bubbles tend to blow up one’s bathing suit to the point where one may float away.”

Clay giggled loudly. “Oh great! Thanks for giving me that visual. Now I’m going to imagine my trunks floating me up to the ceiling like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade float and you’ll have to shoot a beebee gun to get me down!” I burst out laughing so hard that two mortals in the pool glanced our direction. I muffled my laughs a bit, but I just couldn't stop. I lightly put my hand over the top of Clay's hand.

“Oh, my goodness…and thank you for THAT visual!” Clay watched me laugh and seemed quite pleased with himself. I sat back in the lounger and patted his his hand a few times. “Oh, man, that was a good one. Nothing but net.”

“Well, thank you,” he replied with a little crooky smile. “I’m a little proud of that one myself.”

He settled back in his lounge and we both quieted from the hilarity. Every once in while I released a little remnant giggle, and Clay followed suit until we finally were silent. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander beyond the “balloon” visual. As I relaxed, my train of thought led me to this supposed fear of water he has…or is it a fear of the ocean? Or a fear of being in the water with others? Maybe he had a traumatic childhood experience? Wild speculation about the enigma that is this “fear” just let loose in my head, which inevitably included subject matter from many a, shall we say, as Clay said, “interesting” post regarding his anatomy, square footage, breathing room, and floatation possibilities.

I opened my eyes a bit and looked at him sideways. With a bit of frustration running through my head I thought to myself, The little brat. Only he knows, and he ain’t givin’ up the answers.

Clay quietly sat in his lounge, then opened one eye toward me. I quickly closed my eyes then got all fangirly inside. Oop! He looked over at me when he thought I wasn’t looking – how great is that!”

Clay grinned and closed his eye.

A little bit later, I gently broached the subject. “So…are you really afraid of the water, because you don’t seem to be acting too phobic.”

“Well, like I said, I’ve been assured things will be fine, and I’m putting my faith in it. I’m surprising myself, actually. The sensation of the moving ship is strange, but it’s pleasant.”

“That’s what I like to hear! You’re getting into it,” I said as I tapped his hand again. “The pitch and roll of a ship is so soothing. I’m so glad you’re doing ok.”

“Yes, I’m all right…but don’t throw me in the pool, ok? I don’t want to tempt fate.”

I laughed again and figured that was enough prodding for the moment. “Anyway…on that note, shall we continue this little tour?

Clay pulled himself out of the lounger then outstretched his hand to help me up from mine.

“Since we’re so close, how about we go back upstairs and I’ll show you the main lounge.”

“Sounds good. Lead on, honey!” A little tingle went through me as I felt his fingertips lightly touch the small of my back to guide me forward. Ooh, he called me honey!

We moved out of the Atrium, forward, and took the stairs up to the next level. As we stood in the Deck 11 foyer, we heard a happy commotion coming from the Constellation Lounge. Entering, we found they were in the middle of the daily horseraces and we walked farther into the lounge to get a better look. On the bandstand, the Cruise Director was madly calling numbers as his three assistants on the steel dance floor moved their respective wooden horses across a hopscotch-looking track. Background sound effects mimicked horse hooves and a cheering crowd. Onlookers in comfy chairs surrounding the track stared intently at the positions of the horses.

The excitement in the room was palpable and continued to a fever pitch the closer the horses got to the finish line. I looked at Clay and was pleasantly surprised to see him smiling, getting into the excitement. Finally, the lounge erupted into screams when Horse #5 crossed first; we both cheered in triumph.

“Wow, I can see how somebody can get addicted to that game,” he said through a big grin.

“Yes, horseracing has been around as long as there’s been cruises,” I told him. “It’s a lot of fun, even when you lose a few dollars.”

The Cruise Director then made an announcement as the assistants packed up the props. “That’s all for today folks, we’ll be back here same time tomorrow.”

As the group broke up and milled about, Clay noticed the floor-to-ceiling windows that took up three of the four walls in the expansive lounge. Fascinated, he moved toward the far wall and I followed him. He stopped at the rail and quietly stared for a few minutes, soaking up the sight of the bow as it slowly moved through the sea. He occassionally craned his body to the right, then left, to inspect just how far back the ocean view went.

“This is what I've been missing all this time? I could stare at this all day. It's absolutely amazing.”

I let my hand travel into his hand. Not nearly as amazing as you. I wish you’d stare at me like that all day. Clay glanced at me and smiled, then leaned down and gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek. I went all fuzzy again.

We sat down in a couple of comfy chairs nearby and continued to gaze out onto the sea. After a while, I told him about the ship and the cruise industry. When I discussed classic ocean liners, I had a realization and got excited.

“If you’re ready to continue the tour, there’s a little bit of history on board I want to show you.”

“Sounds good. I'm sure we’ll be back here this evening.” He stared one last time. “I just can't get over this view.”

I stared at him as he stared at the ocean. Neither can I.

Clay took my hand and we moved out of the lounge. A down elevator opened for two mortals as we reached the foyer.

“We’re going to need Deck Three, Sweetie.”

The mortals looked around, then at each other, which led Clay to snicker. “You may want to whisper.”

The mortals pressed Three.

“They can hear us?” I whispered.

“Well, not so much hear us as sense our presence – the louder we are and the faster we move, the easier it is for them to sense us. Some mortals are more sensitive than others, though.”

The elevator opened at Three. The mortals walked on their way and I guided Clay aft, through a long corridor of cabins until we entered the three-deck high Grand Lobby. We stopped to admire the elegant main staircase, made from white onyx and backlit a soft green, which gave the illusion of a waterfall. A little farther along we entered the specialty restaurant's small foyer. There was a quietly-running video on one side, and on the other was the centerpiece – a five-foot glass-encased scale model of the SS United States.

I began my tour spiel again.

“The specialty restaurant on Infinity is themed on the SS United States. It was not only one of the most beautiful ocean liners of her day, but also it was so fast that, for National Security purposes, they didn’t reveal her true top speed. Only recently was it revealed that she was able to run at 44 knots, which is 50 miles per hour.”

“And how fast does this ship go?” Clay asked.

“Since it’s not built for the Transatlantic speed record, Infinity can only do 24 knots, but usually on leisurely sea days like today, the ship cruises at about 13 knots.”

We looked at all the pictures on the wall until one caught my eye. I pointed out to Clay a picture of the bow of the United States, with a full wake trailing BEHIND it.

“Here, look,” I said. “Apparently, she could run almost as fast backward as she could forward.”

Clay stared at the unusual picture. “That’s really strange. You really know your ships.”

“I guess we all have to be a geek about something. I hope I’m not boring you.”

“Not at all. It’s quite fascinating.” He realized a little reassurance would come in handy at the moment and he touched my shoulder.

“You’re being a very good tour guide.”

I smiled. What a sweetheart, huh?

“Sweetie, I could talk all day about it if given the chance, so if I start rambling, you have my permission to shut me up.”

My dark little thoughts crept in again. Um… any way you want to.

Clay chuckled. “I’ll remember that.”

“Well...there’s still so much to see, but I think we’ve seen enough for now.”

“That’s all right, because that means its my turn to give you a tour.”

Now I'm puzzled. “You’re going to give ME a tour?”

“I sure am.” He leaned toward my ear.

“C’mon.” he softly said.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

The look in his beautiful green eyes and that radiant “cheshire cat” smile compelled me. I broke into a chuckle as he took my hand, turned around and pulled me along.

Anything for you, my Strawberry Sweetness.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Clay giggled as we spirited ourselves into an up elevator, along with one mortal man. The man pressed Six, then looked around a moment, as if he thought someone else was with him. Clay put his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing.

“Be nice to him,” I jokingly admonished in a whisper. “How old are you?”

“You’re as young as you feel, and right now, I’m feeling pretty young,” he quietly giggled back.

The man looked around again bewildered. Clayton could hardly contain himself.

The elevator opened to Deck Six and the man walked off to the right. Clay stood just outside the elevator a few moments to let loose the laughter he tried to contain while I looked around the elevator lobby in case some other mortals happened by. He wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to catch his breath, then grabbed at his shirt and let out the remnants of his laughter. My eyes turned into saucers at the sight and I nearly grabbed at my own clothes.

Oh, good grief…he clutched. Right in front of me…he clutched. Have mercy, he clutched!

I quickly tried to recover my astonishment before he noticed. Clay abruptly stopped giggling, glanced at me, then giggled a few moments more.

“You done, Clayton?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I’m really looking forward to this tour of yours.”

Clay wiped his eyes again. “all right, all right, I’m ok.” As he snickered, he took my hand again and we moved ourselves aft down the long corridor. When we reached the end, I rememberd the deck plans and cautiously smiled. We stopped in front of a door.

“Yes, you’re right,” he said as he pulled a platinum key from his pants pocket. “You definitely know this ship! I see I’ll have to try harder to surprise you.”

He handed over the key and I suddenly had an uneasy feeling.

“Welcome to the Penthouse Suite, honey.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I looked at him curiously as I waved the platinum key over the handle. The door opened on its own; he led me inside the best cabin on the ship – 1,100 square feet of luxury and comfort. An elegant mahogany dining table for eight was to the right as we entered. Farther into the parlor, I immediately focused on a black baby grand piano. I walked over and ran my hands over the smooth surface.

“Too bad I don’t play. It’s so pretty that it would be a sin to play ‘Chopsticks’ on it.”

“Ah, not to worry.” Clay said as he led me around to the bench, where I saw a small computer console above the keys. I smiled when I realized it was a state-of-the-art player piano.

“What would you like to hear?”

I sat a moment and thought that I would love to hear “On the Wings of Love,” but I wanted to be polite and not make him think I wanted him to sing.

“Oh goodness, anything. You pick. Maybe something Classical.”

Clay snickered a moment and touched the keyboard. The mechanism whirred as the music loaded – the keys moved and the first notes began. I smiled at the rich sound, but after a few measures, I realized it was indeed “On the Wings of Love.” I looked sideways at him as Clay jokingly pretended to hit the keys. That uneasy feeling crept back. That's twice now, Clay.

He began to sing, then I felt him tap his elbow against my arm – a silent request for me to join in. I was a bit reluctant at first, but his smile urged me on, so I accompanied him on the chorus.

To my surprise, Clay took my hand and pulled me into the middle of the room. His hand went to the small of my back and we danced, first in exaggerated moves, then in a more serious manner once he sensed how I followed his lead. He sang to me all the while, but somewhere along the line, I lost all ability to make sound. We continued to dance as a classical piece wafted about the suite. I was so overjoyed with the moment – I can only imagine the look in my eyes. All of a sudden, Clay stopped dancing when the next song started.

“Would you like to see the balcony?”

“The what?” I said while still in my lovely little haze.

“You know, the balcony? It's like the inside, only it's outside,” he joked, pointing to the glass door.

Oh goodness, I'd rather just stand here forever. He snickered a bit as I forced my eyes shut so I could better focus, then managed to say “Sure.” I heard the glass door slide open then a loud rush of water.

“Are you going to be ok out there?”

“Oh, I'll be fine so long as I'm not thrown overboard. Don’t throw me overboard, ok?”

“Sweetie, even if I wanted to, I don't think I could get you an inch off the ground, much less knock you over the railing,” I quipped. Lord knows I would personally throw myself on top of you should anyone try such a horrible act.

Clay chuckled and that strange feeling gripped me again. What's going on?

We stepped out onto the vast expanse of teak decking. A hot tub was in the corner to our right, adjacent to two lounge chairs. An informal table with four chairs was to our left. We walked to the railing and looked out at the ship's wake. I felt Clay's arm around my waist again and I leaned my head on his shoulder. A little sigh of contentment spilled from me. We stood there in silence and watched the azure sea pass us by.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“You know, honey, you haven’t seen everything.”

I pushed away a bit and looked up at him. “There’s more?”

“Goodness gracious, of COURSE there’s more, it’s the Penthouse Suite!”

“Well, that's true. It's a big suite.”

“All right then.”

I paused a moment and lay my head back against him.

“Gee,” I began. “If this weren’t Heaven, I’d say you bordered on snarky there. This, um…IS Heaven, right?”

Clay turned me toward him and shot those green eyes right into mine. “Of course it is!” he replied insistantly, then softened when he realized I made a joke. He flashed that million-dollar smile to reassure me. “Ok, you got me. I promise you, honey, this is definitely Heaven.”

We found ourselves studying each others' faces for a few moments, then he took my hand and led me back inside to tour to the other half of the suite. First, into a large bath with honey-colored wood walls and white marble counter and floor. A clear glass shower was in one corner of the room, connected to a large whirlpool tub. A number of large white pillar candles encircled the tub.

Wow, it’s large enough for two, I thought.

“Yes, I think you're right,” he said quite matter-of-factly as he gazed at the tub.

Suddenly a rush went through me with a frightening realization. Clay can read my thoughts!

His jade eyes turned and stared right into me, and he gave me a sly smile. “I can't surprise you if you were able to read MY thoughts, now can I?”

My blood turned ice cold. Oh, no. Either this is Hell, or I am SO very busted. Clay snickered at my thought. I tried to hide my fear (unsuccessfully, I'm sure). “I certainly am...surprised. Um, you did...PROMISE that this was Heaven, right, because I...I really hope there are-...AREN'T any more surprises like this one.”

He took my hand once again. “Just this one,” he said as he led me inside the adjoining bedroom.

Before me was an oversized bed, dressed in more colors of blue than I could imagine, accented in silver thread and bedecked with what seemed like twenty different pillows of all shapes and sizes. I looked up from the bed and scanned the room, to see vase after vase with dozens of huge red roses, mixed evenly with perfectly-creamy calla lillies. Many more candles occupied the spaces between the vases. Crystal bowls filled with white petals were on each nightstand. A heavy perfume filled the room.

“Oh. My. Goodness.”

“I hope you like it,” Clay said, “even though I think you expected to see the room burst into flames.”

Any other time but now and I would have found that funny. I just stood there dazed as I tried to comprehend the last few minutes' revelations. Clay got a little concerned at my state.

“You’re overwhelmed. I went too far.”

“NO! NO!” I screamed abruptly, hoping what I saw wouldn't disappear. When I realized my zealousness, I took a deep breath and calmly responded to him.

“No Clay, no. It’s perfect. I’m speechless.”

“But you ARE overwhelmed.”

“Well, yeah! I just found out you've known everything I've thought since we met on deck! And this bedroom...My goodness, this bedroom. Just...please...give me a minute or two...or ten...to take this all in.”

He chuckled. “You're right. You deserve a little time.”

I walked around the room and stared at each display, dumbstruck. Clay leaned against the doorway and just watched, smiling.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A knock was heard.

“Honey, would you please wave the key for me?”

“What…?”

“The key? In your hand? Someone’s at the door.”

“Oh.” I still just stood there, unresponsive.

Clay walked over, touched my chin with one finger, and lifted me up to meet with his eyes.

“Breathe for me, honey!”

It’s Heaven – do I still breathe?

He snickered as he gently removed the key from my hand and gave it a little wave. “It’s open,” he spoke toward the cabin door. It opened on its own again and an older gentleman entered, bearing two bulky boxes.

Clay turned me around and gently pushed me toward the parlor. “C’mon, he has something for us. You still breathing for me?”

Being pushed along woke me out of my daze a bit. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m here. Someone has something for us?”

“Yes, Giovanni’s here.”

“Giovanni?”

“Yes honey, our cabin steward. You sure you’re ok?”

“Yes, I’m ok. Sort of. I told you I needed a couple minutes.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

“Ah, there’s that bit o’ snark again,” I quipped. I think I’m in love.

We stopped near the dining table and he leaned to my ear. “I know you are. You don’t hide it well.”

I stood there stunned.

“Here Giovanni, let me help you with that,” Clay offered as he reached for the first box.

“Good afternoon Mr. Clayton – thank you,” Giovanni replied with an old-world accent. “Here you are. Cleaned and pressed for tonight.” He tapped the gold box and continued with a wink and a smile. “And, if I may say so...such beautiful taste.”

Clay set the gold box on the table. “Thank you – I had a little help.”

“You will have a wonderful evening with that, Mr. Clayton.”

Clay touched my shoulder, “And with my lovely lady.”

Smooth talker.

Giovanni looked over to me. “Yes, such a beautiful young lady. Good afternoon to you, Miss.”

“Good afternoon, Giovanni. Nice to meet you.”

“And you, Miss, thank you.” The man handed me a silver package. “This is for you.”

I set the parcel on the dining table. “Thank you, Giovanni. What is it?”

“It is beautiful...like you, Miss.”

A blush and smile came over my face while I basked in the compliment. I looked over as Giovanni grinned at Clay, then Clay made a sly smile. It's quiet for a moment as they stared at each other knowingly. I had the distince impression they were talking about me. Suddenly Clay's forehead wrinkled, but there was still a playfulness in his eyes, then he broke the silence.

“Ok Gio, the girl is mine – time for you to go.” He reached into his pocket, handed him a large bill and politely escorted him to the door.

Giovanni laughed as he left. “Thank you very much, Mr. Clayton. Have a wonderful afternoon. I will be back during dinner to turn down the room.”

Still laughing, the gentleman walked over the threshold into the corridor and dissolved. The door closed on its own.

“Clay, what are these?”

“Boxes.”

“Oh, that snark again.” You know you're only cuter when you do that.

“Yeah yeah, I'm adorable.”

I don't know if I'm gonna like this. I took a deep breath and continued. “So really, what are these boxes for?”

“For tonight, honey. You’ll love it.”

“Tonight?”

“Yes, it’s formal night.”

My heart leaped and my face lit. Magnificent! Dining, dancing, walks in the moonlight, dressing up…the epitome of Romance.

I pondered a moment. “Dressing up...Cleaned and pressed.”

Our eyes met as he reached for my waist.

“Formal night. Is this a dress?”

His eyes pierced mine as he gave a rather cryptic reply. “Yes, but not just any dress...and not just a dress.” His upper lip curled into a sly smile. I didn’t need to be a mindreader, because it showed all over his face.

He’s not going to let me open this right now.

“No, I’m not going to let you open this right now – now stop that! Reading minds is my job.” He gave me a big grin and I chuckled.

“Poker-faced you’re not, Clay.”

“Oh, you don't think so?”

“No, definitely not.”

His lids dropped when he leaned close and spoke softly into my mouth.

“Well, I think you’re wrong.”

With those words, he held me tighter and firmly pressed his lips on mine. I was startled, then gladly gave in to the feel of his mouth and body. The silk of his shirt ran smooth against my hands as I caressed his long back. My thoughts drifted to the bathtub…and the bedroom.

What was happening? Can Heaven be this kind of wonderful?

He slowly lifted his lips from mine and gazed into my eyes. His hand ran across my cheek, and the most inviting smile came over his face. Comforting, like a warm fireplace on a cold evening. The initial shock had drained from me, but a tear was still left in my eye. Just as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, he ran his thumb over my lid to wipe the tear. I opened my eyes...and Clay was holding a white rose petal. He leaned to my ear and softly, he replied.

“Yes, it can. And more.”

A wave passed through me. I stood there utterly helpless in his arms. I managed to drag a deep, ragged breath inside me, then quietly expelled his name.

“Clayton...”

Those magical jade pools looked into mine. His face seemed luminous, ethereal. I couldn't hide how I was feeling for him.

I love you so much.

“And I love you, my dear lady.”

I touched his face in awe and drew another breath. I was mesmerized.

“You are so beautiful,” I whispered.

“Your love makes me beautiful.”

My God, those words. This must be Heaven. My knees buckled under the weight of my emotion. He caught me tight and led me to a soft blue sofa on the far side of the parlor. We sat together – I leaned my body into him, pressed my head against his chest and closed my eyes, absorbing the moment. I couldn't even speak.

“You’re definitely overwhelmed. I’m doing a little too good of a job.”

I don’t care if I am dead and this is Heaven – this is too good to be true.

“And yet, here I am holding you,” Clay replied. “It’s me, and I’m here with you on this gigantic ship. This is all VERY real.”

I drew yet another deep breath as I lifted my head to see ...those perfect, sparkling eyes.

“Clayton...” I quietly exhaled.

A flush and a very serious expression washed over him as he looked into me. It was almost more than I could take...when right then I knew...

My God, you feel it too. I’m not the only one overwhelmed.

He smiled a little. “No, you’re not the only one.”

I saw in his eyes what I could scarcely imagine or dream of as a mortal.

You love me. You want me. I want the same.

“Clayton...” I breathed. “Why are you still so far away from me?”

He lifted his hand and touched my face, then ran his fingers through my hair. My eyes closed as I leaned with his touch, then shivered. His full, warm lips once again pressed into mine only long enough to feel them part. His head leaned and our mouths opened, drinking each other. I felt his light touch caress down the nape of my neck, then across my chest, and again I shivered. His fingers moved upward, spread, and ran up into my hair. Rush after rush overthrew me as his grip tightened against my scalp. His fist slowly pulled me from his mouth, and we were eye-to-eye again. His breath was as ragged as mine and his lips were swollen; his eyes had grown dark as fever overtook him. I then felt him lay me gently against the seat of the sofa, his body hovered over mine. There was a glow in the room, and I heard the ship moving through the sea.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I woke up on the sofa with a blue cotton blanket draped over me.

“Oh, my – I'm still here,” I whispered to myself. “If I were dreaming, wouldn't I have...”

Then I heard a slow, almost mindless whistling come from another room. “He's still here...and I'm still here.” I looked around, then saw a glow coming from the Bath. With the blanket still wrapped around me, I moved across the parlor and quietly stood in the doorway as his back was toward me. I was there in time to see him bare from the waist up as he put on an emerald green silk robe. He turned around and walked to me, then reached out to smooth my hair.

“You do believe now that all this is real,” he said with a gentle smile.

“How did you? Oh, I almost forgot you could... Yes, Clay. I definitely do now.”

He took my hand and gave it a little squeeze. “Listen...I thought we could take a dip in the hot tub.”

“You, in the hot tub?” I gently questioned. I remembered about all my speculation at the pool and felt a little embarrassed. Right in response, he gave my hand another squeeze and then a reassuring kiss on the cheek.

“It's ok, honey. I'm feeling pretty invincible right now.”

My mood lightened and I smiled in agreement. “I'm so glad to hear that. Ok, the hot tub sounds great. I assume we have swimsuits somewhere around here?”

“Well, gee, no. I, uh...thought we'd go in naked.”

I stared blankly at him with my brain in hyperdrive as I desperately searched for pure thoughts after I heard those words come out of his mouth. Kittens…puppies…apple pie…muppets...Mr. Rogers...

“Gotcha! Wow, not a single lecherous thought. I'm impressed!”

I finally breathed again. “That. Wasn’t. Funny.”

“Oh, yes it was,” he giggled. “Of course we have suits! Giovanni brought them up from the ship's store while you were napping. You caught me just as I finished putting on my trunks.”

Sorry I wasn't a minute sooner for that. Oop! I cringed. DARN IT.

“I see old habits die hard,” he snickered.

He walked over to the other side of the Bath and removed the simple navy one-piece from the doorhook, then motioned for me with his finger and a wink. I approached and he handed me the suit, then reached for a blue silk robe also hung on the hook.

“When you’re done changing, put this on.” He held the robe open, then up a bit so it blocked his line of sight.

I smiled. That’s my Sweet Baby Clay. Ever the modest gentleman for a lady, he is, even after that little...frolic.

“Well, what do you expect,” Clay responded. “My mom raised me to be a gentleman to a lady.”

But, if your mother knew what happened on that couch...

“Uh...yeah.” There was a pregnant pause behind the robe. I was willing to bet good money his face was beet red. But what I didn't know was, behind the blush, Clay had a huge smile and a sparkle in his eye.

“Let’s...let's just keep that to ourselves.”

“Don't have to ask me twice,” I giggled.

I turned my back to the robe and moved the blanket across my shoulders and onto the floor. My rumpled garments followed and I slipped on the suit.

“Ok, Sweetness,” I said as I moved one arm back to accept the robe. When both sleeves were on, his arms wrapped the robe snug around me, then he kissed my cheek as he tied the sash.

We walked through the parlor and out to the balcony, where we set our robes on the nearby lounges. Clay helped me in first and I moved over to the far side. I settled back and let the perfectly-hot water envelop me like a liquid cocoon. I watched him as he touched a toe into the warmth – he flinched slightly, then dipped in one leg, then the other. His eyes closed and he released a long exhale as the rest of his body lowered into the steamy tub. When he stopped at his neck, I thought he would just sit back, but instead, his eyes opened and stared at me in what could be described as a “copulatory gaze.” He submerged below the waterline for a moment, then the hard stare returned as he lifted from the water and ran his long fingers back through his soaked hair. Between the heat of the water and his incredibly sexy display, my heart raced. Lovely dark thoughts bubbled up and it took a quite a bit of willpower to surpress them.

“That was truly cruel of you, Clayton,” I said, but he just giggled and winked at me. My mouth dropped open. Damn, you knew EXACTLY what you were doing! I couldn't believe he was using his advantage over me for his amusement, but honestly, a big part of me didn't care. I was just so happy to be with him.

“You...are an incredible tease. Don't ever change.” He smiled with a hint of apology in his eyes. He waved his hand and the jets suddenly blew on. We settled back as the steam rose and the bubbles kissed our skin.

As I leaned against the headrest, I thought about how, well – divine – these moments have been. I opened my eyes and stared across – just studied what I could see – his auburn hair and strawberry-blond brows and eyelashes; his cheeks and eyelids dotted with boy-next-door freckles; his chiseled jawline; glimpses of ear; neck gifted with two lovely little adam's apples, and those few manly hairsies that clung just below the tempting notch in his neck. I closed my eyes once again and sighed. A moment later, I felt Clay's toes touch my toes. I began to move my feet out of the way, but then both his feet stopped mine. He guided them back down, then gently rested his 13-and-a-halfs on top of mine. I settled a moment, then slid one foot out from under and lay it on top of his.

My mind wandered to only one thought. That famous line Steve Martin said in “L.A. Story:”

“Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, most wonderful, and yet again, wonderful.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After we soaked a while, I gently spoke up.

“Clay?”

He didn't stir.

“Clay, sweetie?”

He sleepily lifted his head. “Yes, honey...what is it? Goodness, I must've dozed off there.”

I paused a moment to watch him yawn and wished I hadn't disturbed his nap. There was something I wanted to say, but now...

“It's ok. Go ahead and ask whatever it is.”

“Well...remember up on deck earlier, I said that I should make you tell me your life story to prove it's really you?”

“I do remember. That was right after I kissed you,” he snickered through a yawn.

“Clay, I know it's you, but,” I started sheepishly, “but will you tell me your life story anyway? As much of it as you want to tell me?”

He slowly sat up straight and looked at me. “Would you please give me your hands?” I did.

“I would be glad to share with you anything you want to know, but I have one condition.”

“Oh, it's a given I'd keep it to myself. I won't tell anyone. Well, heck, who would I tell?”

“No honey, that's not it,” he replied with a snicker in his voice. A soft look was in his eyes.

“I'll tell you everything about me, if you tell me everything about you.”

“What?” Did I hear him right? “Me? Everything?”

“Yes, you...everything! Every boring detail.”

After a couple moments' comprehension, my love for this man grew so big I feared my heart would burst from my chest.

“For you, Clay – anything.”

“That's my girl.” He smiled and squeezed my hands, then we reached out for a tender kiss.

Over the next few hours, we shared so much about ourselves. In the hot tub and on the lounges, we talked about our childhoods, our families, our beliefs. Giovanni brought in delicious afternoon snacks, and over our meal we shared joys and sorrows, gains and losses, confided a few fears and even a couple secrets. It may sound trite, but we laughed and cried. I was amazed how honest and straightforward he was and we clicked on so many levels.

There was still so much more to say, but as the sun hung lower in the sky, we realized that evening approached and that we would pick up the conversation during dinner. We came in from the balcony and headed for the Bath to rinse the chlorine and salt air off us.

As I hung both robes on the doorhook, Clay opened the shower door and grabbed a bottle of tropical aromatherapy shower gel. He made a motion over the faucet and warm water poured down from above. He squeezed a good amount of gel into his large hand and let the gel get rinsed away under the deluge. The scent lingered as Clay closed the shower door and the steam clouded the glass.

With his dry hand, he reached around my waist and gently pulled me toward him. His lips reached down to mine, at first with a tender kiss, then a flow of emotion overthrew us and we connected in a long, lecherous liplock. My arms wrapped around his lanky torso tight and our hearts pounded against each other. I was lost in the moment and anxious for more, and he seemed as eager to give as I was. He freed one arm and opened the shower door. With a gentle push of his hand on the small of my back, I entered the shower, closed my eyes and let the warm downpour soak my hair and suit. I realized after a couple moments that he hadn't touched me. I opened my eyes and discovered that Clay wasn't with me.

“Clay?” I opened the shower door in enough time to see him almost out of the room.

“Clay? Aren't...Aren't you...?”

“No, honey,” he said in a hospitable, almost detached tone. “You have a nice shower and I'll take one when you're done. I left a towel and your robe within reach.” With a smile, he closed the bathroom door.

He didn't... I wondered. He didn't just...

Yes, he did.

“CLAYTON HOLMES AIKEN, YOU TEASE!!” I yelled at the top of my lungs over the noisy shower. “YOU CRUEL, SHAMELESS, AWFUL, TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE HORRIBLE TEASE!!” I slammed the shower door, removed my bathing suit and cleaned up. My thoughts were filled with a bit of anger and a whole lot of frustration.

“I am SO going to get you for this,” I muttered to myself over and over again. “Do you hear me out there, Clayton? Somehow I'll get you back.”

By now, Clay was back on the balcony, letting the loud rush of seawater drown out my thoughts. He chuckled, proud of what he just pulled off, then he suddenly picked up fractions of my thoughts. “Oh goodness,” he pondered. “I'd better make sure my robe and towel are nearby when I'm in the shower. Better safe than sorry.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Clay?” I called as I applied my lipstick in the bathroom mirror. “Clayton?”

“I’ll be right there, honey. Just one minute.”

In the mirror, I saw him walk into the room. With his emerald robe on and still-damp strawberry hair neatly combed back, he looked like a Greek god.

“Don't you mean a “geek god?”

I chuckled and found it impossible to stay mad at him. “I meant exactly what I thought, and no amount of your self-depricating humor will take it from me.” I brushed the back of my hand against his cheek as I gazed at his freshly-scrubbed face. “I wish you could see what I see.”

He took my hand in his and kissed it, then slowly swept his eyes over me. He leaned to my ear and spoke in a hushed voice. “I can see that even though you’re beautiful in that robe, we need to get you dressed.”

Then he took in a slow, deep breath near my neck. I shivered at feeling him so close to me.

“Oh, my – you smell absolutely amazing.” An evil grin washed over his face.

“Unfortunately, with no help from you.” I said with an unintentional smile. We walked back into the bedroom.

Oh, that’s right – the boxes, I managed to remember. “At least you made me forget all about the wait.”

Clay's evil grin grew bigger.

He sat me on the edge of the bed next to the silver box. I smiled a bit in anticipation and slid my hands over the smooth parcel, then glided under the flap, lifting the lid up part-way. From behind me I heard a slow, sticky-sweet southern drawl.

“Oh, how I’d like to be that box right about now.”

I stopped and looked back at him, then gave him a heavy dose of “optical fornication.” His eyes widened as he read the naughty suggestions going through my mind.

“Hey, wait a minute! Sorry honey, but we’ll never get to dinner if we do that.”

I didn't let up and kept on staring. “There’s always....Room Service.”

He became even more flustered. “Goodness gracious, I may have to hose you down! I didn't mean to get you THIS riled up. What a complete debacle I've created.”

My eyebrows raised. “WHAT.....did you say?”

I significantly intensified the naughtiness at hearing “that word.” I threw thoughts at him that would make a Broad blush and continued my lecherous stare with all the focus and intensity I could muster. Now he really looked scared and took a couple steps back from me. Man, it was great.

“What...what are you talking about?!? Debacle isn’t a verb! Mink-lined handcuffs? Krispy Kremes, WHERE?? Oh, goodness, what have I done. Please...p-please honey, open the box...I-I know you’ll love it! I am SO sorry I was such a tease. Sorrier than I've ever been in my LIFE.”

I turned my attention back to the box. “Gotcha. We're even now for the shower.”

With a mild wave of relief but his chest still pounding, he took a couple deep breaths. “Ok...you got me. You got me good...um, well...um, whatever. Um, I'm going into the bathroom to get dressed while you finish opening that box, and...and I think I'll lock the door just to be safe.” He turned around then looked down, relieved. “Oh, thank goodness I didn't leave a puddle on the floor.” I laughed hysterically as he closed the door behind him.

After I finally finished laughing, I opened the box and there sat a beautiful black velvet bodice. I lifted the dress and saw slim, long sleeves and layers of white chiffon flow from the box.

“Oh my! Clay, this is exquisite!”

I spread the dress out onto the bed and just stared at it, admiring the black details on the skirt, and smoothed my hand over the rich textures. I looked in the box again and pulled out a pair of delicate black high-heeled dress shoes with crossover straps at the toe and near the ankle. There was also a small box inside. In it were a pair of pure white gloves and a number of black lacy unmentionables. When I discovered the the sheerest of black stockings, complete with seams, I whispered to myself.

“Wow. You sure thought of everything.”

His voice responded from the Bath. “A lady named Edith helped me!”

I got dressed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I raised the sleeves of the dress onto my shoulders, looked into the full-length mirror and gasped. My hands covered my mouth, my eyes widened and I giggled.

Oh...my...It's THAT dress. It's the dress Grace Kelly wore in ‘Rear Window.’ That beautiful gown that 'was a steal at eleven hundred dollars'! I could hardly contain my exuberance. I pulled on the gloves then wrapped the chiffon scarf over my shoulders. I felt like the glamorous princess she was.

Clay knocked and peeked in. “You ready, honey?”

I turned toward the door and beamed. “Oh, Clay!” I exclaimed as he opened the door the rest of the way. “I feel just like a prin-...”

I was suddenly rendered mute – my brain short-circuited. The ELLE picture had nothing on what I saw before me. Clay looked like he had just stepped off a Milan runway, wearing a silk six-button, double-breasted couture tuxedo. The cut of the black jacket perfectly accentuated his lean waist and the crème-colored trousers draped beautifully over black suede dress slippers. Gold embellishments peeked out from under the pant cuffs. His wavy auburn hair was beautifully fluffed back, revealing his ever-so-slight sideburns. I had to sit down on the bed.

Thank goodness I’m already dead, because I’d surely be dead now.

Clay walked over, took my hand and raised me back to standing, then focused on my eyes. “Uh oh, here we go again,” he muttered to himself. “I just don't get it.” Then he spoke up to get my attention.

“Honey, it's just me in a tux. You need to breathe again.”

Still so stunned, I instinctively went for the joke. “What...no stripey shirt? No purple tie?”

Clay laughed. “No, not tonight, I'm afraid. Believe me, I tried, but Edith wouldn't let me. She insisted that we match perfectly. However...I did manage to sneak a little something past her.” He reached deep into his trousers and handed me a colorful silk pocket square.

Purple, with light purple polka dots.

I smiled at him as I neatly placed the square in his breast pocket.

“As a loyal lurker, I would never forget.”

I managed to take a cleansing breath and finally said something coherent. “Clay, have I said yet that you look...well...completely stunning?”

He took my hands. “And have I told you yet that you are the most gorgeous vision I have ever seen?”

I was touched into silence again by his words. All I could do was reach out and hold him as a thank you.

“You smell so nice,” he whispered. “It makes me regret a little bit that I didn't hop into the shower with you.”

“Don't keep teasing me, now.”

“I'm not. I'm sorry I teased you so bad before.”

I'm not going to apologize for what I did.

Clay chuckled and held me tighter. “Absolutely no need to. I totally deserved it.”

I don't know exactly how I noticed, but I saw an orange glow from the bedroom window. “I think it's almost sunset. If we're ready to go – why don't we watch it up on deck.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I'm ready to go,” Clay said. As we walked through the Parlor, he picked up the platinum key from the dining table, waved it and the door opened. As we walked down the corridor, we were met by an older mortal couple who stopped and stared right at us. The wife spoke with a Northeastern accent.

“Oh Frank, look what a beautiful couple they make. They look like royalty!” She directed her attention to me. “Stunning, dear. Just stunning.” I let out a big grin and a blush and said thank you.

“Yes ma'am,” Clay replied as he looked at me. “She's absolutely gorgeous inside and out.” I blushed on top of blush.

“Oh, and a sweet-talker, too,” she said to me as she lightly touched my arm. “Don't let this one go, honey.”

Clay and I looked eye-to-eye. “I don't ever plan to.”

The wife gave Clay the onceover with her eyes. “You don't look so bad yourself, honey.” She looked at her husband. “First thing when we get back, Frank, we're getting you one of those tuxedos.”

I'm both giddy with the compliments and bewildered – apparently we could be seen. We chatted with them for a few minutes then made our way to the glass elevators amidships.

Once alone in the elevator lobby, I looked at Clay, but didn't need to ask.

“That's another one of my surprises.”

My eyebrow raised.

“Well, how in the world could I possibly not share your extreme beauty with everyone else on board?”

“You sure are spreading it on thick. Tell me, Clayton dear, is that all natural 'Southern Charm,' or did you rehearse while you changed?” The elevator door opened.

“You don't believe?” he asked as we walked in.

“Believe that I look good? Oh, well at the risk of being conceited, I feel more beautiful than I've ever felt!” I wrapped my arms around his slim waist. “And it's not just the dress that's making me feel this way.”

“And you don't think I or anyone else can see that beauty when they look at you?”

I laughed out loud at the irony. “Oh man, why do I suddenly feel like I should be the one asking you that question, Mr. Hot N' Humble.”

Clay couldn't even bring himself to repeat the nickname. “Mr. Who?” he asked, accompanied by one of his patented scrunchy looks of confusion.

I shook my head. “Never mind. Let's just say that Gladys Knight knew exactly what she was talking about.”

The elevator opened onto Deck 11 and we walked around toward the sun deck entrance.

“Well, regardless of whether we want to be 'seen,' I do like that we're visible. We can walk around and be ourselves and not feel like we're hiding. Meeting new people is what I've always loved about cruising.”

“I'm glad you feel that way, honey, because going to dinner would have been a little difficult if we showed up invisible.”

I chuckled as we walked out onto the breezy deck and proceed aft. The sun just started to disappear below the horizon.

“Looks like we got here just in time,” I said as we went toward the railing. Clay became a bit stiff as we walked, then stopped in the middle of the deck.

“Sweetie, what's the matter?”

“Well...” he responded with a nervousness in his voice. “I guess this 'mortality,' so to speak, has brought back my fears a bit. Well...I lie. Honey, I can't go any further, uh farther.” He closed his eyes and took in a couple nervous breaths. The fear on his face was obvious.

Uh oh, this isn't good.

“Well, no kidding.”

I took his hands and stood between him and the view. “You're afraid that some force is going to throw you into the water, or worse yet, somehow you'll fling yourself overboard.”

He nervously smiled at me. “Oh, so you do understand.”

“Of course I do. I feel the exact same way when I'm flying or anytime I'm up high. I'm so afraid of heights that my blood pressure rises if I even think about it long enough. Sometimes I try to fight it by imagining myself lying face down in a grassy field in a forest, literally hugging the earth. It's worked better some times than others. Look, we can go back inside if this is too much for you.”

“No – I want us to watch the sunset together.”

“Ok, we'll stand right here. Try to look at me. Focus on my eyes.” Those fearful aqua pools managed to look down into mine. “I promise I won't let anything happen to you, whether real or imaginary. Take a couple steps back if that might make you feel better.”

“Good idea.” He took a few steps back, along with a couple deep breaths.

“Ok, now imagine yourself standing in the desert. It's warm and dry, with sand dunes and mountains around you. No water in site. Just you and miles of arid land. Now...Sweetie...take a few more deep breaths and keep imagining.”

Clay closed his eyes and quietly concentrated. The fear on his face softened slightly with each long, steady exhale.

“Nothing will happen to you, I promise. I won't let anything happen to you.”

I paused a few moments, then spoke again when his face looked calmer. “Feeling better at all? Do you want to try opening your eyes now? Just look in my eyes again.”

Clay opened his eyes to me and took a cleansing breath. “Yes, better. Not perfect, but better.”

“Ok, that's good enough. I'm certainly not going to push you into moving closer to the railing.”

“Would you do me a favor? Don't say 'push you into...'”

I chuckled once under my breath and stopped myself. “Woops, I'm so sorry. You're doing good, Sweetie.”

“WELL...you're doing WELL.”

“Ok, now I know you're better. You're correcting my grammar.” Four years of English class at a private school, you would think I could get that right.

Clayton blushed a little. “I'm sorry for that. Here you are trying to help me. I'm being so ridiculous after everything this afternoon.”

“No apologies at all. I so understand how you're feeling. Like I said, I'm not going to do anything that will make you uncomfortable. I certainly wouldn't want anyone to force me to look down from the Empire State Building.”

I let go of one of his hands and moved myself to his side. “Ok now, just look at the sun setting. Block out everything else and just look at the sun. Just know I've got you and I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I'm your anchor. You're not going anywhere.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head against his chest. He managed another deep breath and wrapped his arms around me as we watched the sun sink lower.

He leaned his head down to me and whispered, “I'm so sorry. I should be trying to make you feel safe.”

“Actually, it's really nice to take care of you for once. You've spent all afternoon caring for me, so I'm happy to help you. It always feels good to be needed...to be here for you. And...well...we have eternity to be together, to help each other.”

He was silent and held me tighter. I looked at his jacket.

“Oh goodness, I hadn't noticed.”

“Noticed what, honey?”

“Your pocket square – how funny – in this light, the purple polka dots look orange. I love orange...and purple!” Clay chuckled and I felt his body relax. We watched the sky glow a brilliant orange and pink as the sun fell below the black horizon.

“Are you feeling better?”

He leaned to me and softly kissed my forehead, then his eyes met mine.

“Yes, I am...thanks to you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A couple chatted as they passed by us. “Jerry, we need to get a move on,” the wife said to her husband. “I don't want to be late for the Captain's Gala.”

My head bolted up. “Captain's Gala? That's right! I definitely want you to see that. Do we have time before dinner?”

“Oh sure, dinner isn't for another hour and a half or so. Anything you want to do, I want to do.”

“You always know just what to say.” I paused and looked at him suspiciously. “But honestly, you also want to get inside, don't you?”

“Definitely,” he giggled.

I chuckled and we walked back to the glass elevators. Alone inside the elevator, Clay wrapped his long arms around me for a loving hug.

“Thank you for helping me. When you need me, I'll be there for you.”

“I know you will. I can only imagine how wonderful eternity will be spent with you.” I reached up and lightly kissed his elfin ear, then his cheek.

The doors opened to Deck Three, back to the Grand Lobby. As we stood in the elevator's threshold, we were confronted by a throng of smart-looking passengers – ladies in various long and short fancy outfits and men in dark suits and tuxedos. The din from everyone mingling made it hard to hear each other.

“Here, let me handle this,” I insisted. “I'm good at getting through crowds.”

Clay chuckled. “I have every confidence that you will navigate us right up to the Captain.”

“Well, maybe to the Cruise Director – or just to a good view,” I replied with a smile. I held his hand and winded us both through the crowd, making our way to the other side of the Lobby, to the railing at the base of the onyx staircase.

“How'd I do?” I asked. As I turned around, I saw Clay holding a small champagne flute.

“That was amazing. You moved around everyone and didn't upset a single person.”

“Ah, it's a gift. Where did you get the champagne?”

“I picked it up from that waiter we passed as we rounded the back of the stairs.”

“Now I'm impressed. Did your magic keep you from spilling that? You could have told me and I wouldn't have been so aggressive.”

“It was a challenge, but I managed. Actually, I took a sip to help keep it from spilling. I got it for you, though.”

I giggled aloud. “Oh, I wish I could have seen those moves. I'll probably only have a sip or two. Would you share it with me?”

“Sure, we can share. I'll probably only have a couple sips, too.”

From our conversations on the balcony, we both knew why neither of us would drink more than that.

I held the glass as we stood by the stairs. The crowd became even thicker for the imminent presentation. Above, passengers lined every inch of the two mezzanines. To our right, near the Purser's Desk, a long line of passengers were waiting their turns to take formal pictures. I felt Clay's arms around me tighter from behind as we gradually lost space around us.

Clay noticed the Cruise Director at the top of the staircase with a microphone. “Hey, I know him,” Clay whispered. “I guess we're starting.”

Soon, a hush fell over the area as the Cruise Director introduced himself and welcomed all the passengers aboard Infinity. After the applause died down, he took his time to introduce the Senior Staff as they each made their way down the staircase: the Executive Chef and his assistants, the head Sommellier, the Facilities Manager, the Social Hostess, the Hotel Manager, and then the Master of the Ship.

“The Master?” Clay asked into my ear.

“Yes, that's the proper term for a ship's captain, sweetie, just like the Chief Purser is now called the Hotel Manager.”

Just as I answered him, the Cruise Director explained the semantics almost word-for-word. Clay's eyes widened and I snickered.

A huge round of applause erupted as the Captain stepped forward to give his toast. As I raised the small flute with my right hand, Clay's left hand joined mine and my hand nearly disappeared. I hadn't noticed until that moment just how much bigger his hands were. When the presentation ended, everyone once again mingled, though many quickly made their way to First Seating dinner. We continued to stand by the staircase and peoplewatch.

“How many cruises did you say you've taken? Why do I get the feeling that you could do the Cruise Director's job.”

“I've been on seven. Eight if you count being here. And yes, I think it would be wild to be a Cruise Director, but I think I'd rather be the Social Hostess. It's a little shallow to say, and I'm positive there's far more work to the position than it looks, but...I would like it because you get to wear pretty dresses and seat people at the Captain's Table. I'd be the gal with the connections.”

“I have no doubt in my mind that you would make a wonderful Social Hostess, honey. You're knowledgeable, you like talking to people, and, well...you wouldn't have to worry at all about wearing pretty dresses.”

I was rendered silent again. Dang, sweetie, you sure know how to charm a girl, and I get to spend eternity hearing it. Lord...I don't know what I did to deserve this, but thank you. A tear welled up in my eye. We held each other tight as the crowd dispersed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I'm so happy, I feel like dancing.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Clay replied with a smile. “I can show you off on the dance floor.”

In order to avoid walking on deck, we made our way through a corridor of cabins to the forward elevator lobby and rode up with about eight other passengers – one of which was the gentleman that made Clay laugh earlier. I knew we were in trouble when Clay spotted him. Once in the elevator, I heard a giggle well up within him and I squeezed his hand in a vain attempt to quell it...harder as his volume rose. The gentleman looked at us with the same bewilderment on his face. Well, that did me in, too. I closed my eyes and used every bit of fortitude to keep from laughing. Clay wasn't doing nearly so well. It was the longest elevator ride ever.

Fortunately, he and the last of the others exited on Deck 9. The second the doors closed, the two of us fully released our laughter. We continued to laugh as the doors on Deck 11 opened, and the group waiting looked at us strangely. An older lady piped up. “What's so funny you two? Did you just come from the comedy show?”

“Oh, I'm sorry,” I replied as we walked out. “No, we haven't – it's sort of an inside joke.”

She seemed to accept that answer graciously as she stepped into the elevator. “Well, you two kids have a great night.”

“Thanks, we already are!” Clay replied.

“Cruises are the spice of life!” the lady exclaimed as the doors shut.

We finally composed ourselves enough to hear the music in the lounge. Clay held out his arm for me and we walked in like king and queen of the ball. We found open seating in the second row and got comfortable. On stage was a three-piece ensemble, with the pianist on lead vocals.

“We're here tonight to take you back to a simpler place and time,” the vocalist said as he segued into the next song. He began to play.

And, now, the purple dusk of twilight time
Steals across the meadows of my heart

“Stardust,” I whispered to myself. The crowd applauded.

“Thank you...” the vocalist said, then continued.

Clay offered his hand. “Shall we show them how it's done, honey?” We walked to the dance floor – his left hand was firm but gentle in mine and I felt his right once again at the small of my back. We smiled then glided with the others around the dance floor. Time seemed to stand still – only we and the song existed.

When our love was new
And each kiss, an inspiration

Each song was a standard – each a treasure. Stormy Weather, Moon River, Sentimental Journey, Moonlight Serenade and so many others that few our ages would ever come to know, much less adore. Gliding around the floor, lost in the melodies, the way we looked at each other and held each other, we realized we were both old souls that found each other. We never stopped dancing until the band's set was over, and over an hour had passed.

“Honey, it's nearly time for dinner,” Clay said during the last song.

“You mean we can't do this all night?” I asked while in my blissful haze. He leaned to my ear.

“I have other plans for all night.”

My haze lifted and a familiar rush flowed through me. When I looked up to him, his eyes were closed, then he looked at me and smiled.

We walked back to the table to gather my things. Clay wrapped the scarf around me as I put on my gloves. He placed my hand in the crook of his arm and we walked toward over to the band.

“Thank you very much guys, you were all great. It's not often you can hear that kind of music played live.” Clay shook each of their hands, then allowed me to do the same.

“Yes, the music was just beautiful.”

“Thanks a lot,” said the vocalist. “From how the two of you kept dancing, this must be a very special night.”

The guitar player interjected. “Yeah, the way you two were beaming, it was almost...other-worldly. Everyone else dancing was watching, and it seemed like you two made them all happier.”

“Wow, really? Everyone was watching us?” I blushed and looked at Clay as he touched my hand.

“Yes, it is a special day for both of us,” Clay responded. “Thank you again and keep performing those standards.”

Then Clay looked at me. “Well, honey, we should be off to dinner.”

The vocalist smiled at us. “Have a wonderful evening and enjoy your dinner.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We walked out of the lounge and into an open elevator.

“The dining room is on Decks Four and Five, sweetie. Do you know our table number?”

Clay pressed Three. “We're not going to the dining room, honey.”

I stared at the lit button for a moment then smiled. “Three?”

“I guess I'm not going to surprise you with this, am I?”

We walked the corridor and through the Lobby until we were once again in the SS United States restaurant. Clay gave the maitre d' his name. “Oh, yes, Mr. Aiken, we've been expecting you.” He motioned for us to follow him.

I expected to head straight into the restaurant, but instead we were taken to the right – into the private “Wine Cellar Room.” We were seated at an oversized table for four, set exquisitely for two, with pink roses and white candles for the centerpiece. The maitre d' took my wrap and gloves while Clay seated me, then the maitre d' assisted Clay into his chair on my left.

“I see you do still have a few surprises up your sleeve, sweetie. I didn't expect this. This room is so exclusive that I forgot it was even here.”

Clay gave me a sly smile. “Giovanni has VERY good connections.”

A little stomach pang hit me from the wonderful aromas in the restaurant. “Goodness, I didn't realize I was so hungry until just now.”

Clay looked in my eyes, leaned toward me and ran the back of his fingers over my cheek. “That'll be resolved very soon, hold on just a few more minutes.”

I placed my hand over his and leaned to him. “This is all so wonderful. Thank you so much.” We gave each other a long, loving kiss.

A throat cleared from across the room – a woman's throat. One end of Clay's mouth drew up into a playful smile as he looked at me, then we both eyed a lanky young waitress with blonde babyfuzz for hair. My eyes widened.

“Good grief, Clay, you really HAVE thought of everything! Did Giovanni help with this, too?” Clay smiled and nodded yes.

“Eva!” I exclaimed, “Eva, it's you!” I rushed up from my chair and gave her a hug. “It's so good to see you.”

Clay followed what his mom taught him about standing up when ladies are standing.

“It's so good to see you, too,” Eva replied with a chuckle in her Ukranian accent. “My fiance' told me you were aboard and he arranged for me to serve you.”

“You're engaged now! Congratulations, I hope you two will be very happy.” I gave her another hug then grabbed for Clay's hand.

“Clay, this is Eva. She was my waitress on my last cruise. We try to keep in touch by email. In our last conversation, she told me she had transferred to Infinity.” I turned to Eva again. “Eva, this is Clay.”

Clay took a step over and shook her hand. “It's very nice to meet you, Eva. Thank you so much for taking care of us tonight. It's pretty obvious you've made her very happy.”

“It's very nice to meet you, Clay. It's always a treat to see familiar faces onboard. “Well now, you two sit back down and I will bring out your appetizers.” Eva gave me a little nudge with her elbow. “Your entire meal has already been arranged,” she said with a sly smile, then left the room as we're still standing.

I held him tight as a couple tears welled in my eyes. “I don't know what to say except thank you. You've been so attentive that I'm speechless.”

Clay smiled, but there was something else in his eyes. “I'm glad you're pleased, but it's just what any man should do for his Lady Love.”

I thought about the wonderful women who molded this beautiful man.

“I wish I could thank your mom and grandmother.”

Clay smiled. “I'll be sure to let them know. Here, let's sit you back down.”

He just got comfortable in his own chair when Eva arrived with two large plates, each with white porcelain ramekins overflowing with a delicate, yet savory lightly-browned appetizer.

“Goat cheese souffle with thyme – enjoy.”

The dinner progressed at a slowed pace, reminiscent of the classic leisurely dining experience. We savored each mild, smooth bite of the souffle, then once we were finished, she quietly cleared the table for the next course and left us alone for a little while. Eva then wheeled in a large serving table, where from behind its large metal dome, she carved and arranged slice after slice of beef tenderloin, then drizzled on a rich Bordeaux sauce.

“Chateaubriand for Two with Yorkshire Pudding,” Eva presented to us then quietly closed the dome and took the cart out of the room. The beef was so tender and perfectly cooked that you could cut it with a fork, and the rich red wine sauce perfectly complimented the meat. Clayton devoured his plateful, so I gave him a slice of mine.

“That would be a little uncouth in such fancy surroundings,” he suddenly said with a giggle from out of the blue.

“What, sweetie?” I was too busy enjoying the entree' to pay attention.

He looked at me with a crooked smile. “I heard you. The sauce is so good, you...wanted to lick the plate clean.”

I smiled. “Ok, I'm busted. Yeah, not quite an appropriate place for doing that, but dang, this is good stuff. I wonder if...it would be more appropriate if...”

“If what?”

I blushed a little and didn't try to hide my thought. He looked at me as if he had just been dared, then his finger lightly touched some sauce on his plate. He watched my eyes grow ever wider as he slowly lifted that finger to his neck and hovered it close to his skin, just behind his earlobe.

“Right here, honey? Is this the spot?”

My mouth was agape and I'm sure I blushed beet-red, but I couldn't help but laugh. “Man, you're horrible!”

Clay laughed then turned the saucy fingertip to me with a raised eyebrow. My eyes went to the doorway, then I nodded. They were both delicious.

A little while later, Eva removed our dishes, refilled our drinks and once again left us for a while between courses, which gave us time for a little more fun, some footsies under the table and couple of kisses. I again became lost in the moment and a warmth rose within me that I couldn't hide. I sat up straight.

“I think you'd better turn that charm down a couple notches. I...may not want to finish dinner.”

“What? You can't handle a little flirting?” Clay said as his hand reached my knee. Even through layers of chiffon, I felt its warmth. Almost instinctively, I slid my leg toward him and his hand moved a bit to the inside of my thigh. His finger subtly stroked the inside of my knee – how could this angel be such a little devil! It was impossible to hide the flush I felt, and from his look, he enjoyed touching me as much as I enjoyed being touched. I was startled like a teenager being caught by her parents a few moments later when Eva returned with a glass presentation cart. I sat up again and composed myself – who knows what shade of pink I was by the time Clay's hand left my leg – he just smiled at me. At that moment, I almost thought I could read his mind, and it was saying, “Gotcha!” We both knew he had me wrapped tight around his finger.

We watched Eva quietly arrange a number of different cheeses, fruit and bread slices onto plates. After she presented the plates and described each cheese, Clay asked, “Eva, these are fuji apples, right?”

“Oh, of course they are, Clay – we could easily fill that special request. Bon appetit!” She then again left us to enjoy our third course.

“How did you know about me...”

“You said it on the balcony when we were having our afternoon snack. Well, technically, you didn't say it. You wished the apples in the fruit bowl were fujis.”

“Is that why you said what you said? It was sweet, but it seemed so out of the blue.”

Clay smiled. “Yes, because it's true. You are a girl after my own heart.”

Funny how his words reminded me of a Barry Manilow song, rather than one of his. I couldn't help but sing it in my head.

“That's pretty, honey – let me try.”

“Try what? Singing it...as I'm thinking it?”

“Yup. Amazing, huh? Just close your eyes and sing a few lines of the song in your mind.”

I took a breath then closed my eyes. “This oughtta be good.”

He was quiet a moment. “Goodness, you know this song so well I can even hear the music! This IS pretty amazing – I didn't even know I could do that. Ok, here goes.”

You're a girl...after my own heart
We are a similar kind...separate, yet intertwined
We...speak with a single voice
But now we must make a choice
Whether to fall in love.

I just stared at him. His pitch was perfect; the melody perfect. God, it was so simple yet so beautiful.

“We don't have a choice to make, though,” he said as he touched my cheek. “We're too far gone for that, don'tcha think?”

I smiled. “Yeah...I think so.”

I looked down at my untouched plate and realized we were still in the middle of our meal, so I layered a some bleu cheese and apple onto a small bread slice and offered it to him. Clay's eyes pierced mine as he slowly took the entire offering into his mouth – that little devil in my angel was back, and it made my dark side bubble like a fountain. I fought hard to hold onto my composure and keep those feelings to myself. “Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.”

He chuckled. “Ok, I'm sorry. I'm making you a little uncomfortable. I'll take it down, but I can't help it when you're next to me.”

Cruel, cruel boy, you are. I took a deep breath and changed the subject.

“So anyway, um...Infinity is 91,000 tons, over 900 feet long and over 100 feet wide. She carries almost 2,000 passengers, and her passenger to crew ratio is 2:1. Her sister ships are Millennium...”

“Honey...”

“Summit,”

“Honey...”

“and Constellation.”

Clay sat back in his chair and laughed. “Honey, just shut up and eat your cheese.”

“She...” I paused and smiled. “Did you just tell me to shut up?”

“YES. I. DID.” I couldn't get the silly grin off my face.

“Well, you started it with this relentless flirting – I had to think of something to talk about! I'm at the disadvantage, as you well know, and I don't know what to do or think anymore when you tease me. I certainly wish I could keep some of my thoughts to myself.”

Clay snickered. “Ok, ok, this time I mean it. I'll play nice. But you have to realize something – I'm not teasing.”

Eva cleared our third course then returned with dessert. She set a metal dish in front of me. “Now be careful, the plate is very hot.”

“Yes, I sure was hoping for chocolate souffle.”

Clay smiled, happy that I was happy with my favorite dessert.

“And crème brulee' for you, Clay. Enjoy.”

“Oh yes, you're allergies. After what happened on deck, I won't ask if you want a bite unless you want me to. If you weren't going to have the souffle, the crème brulee' is definitely your next best choice.” It looked delicious.

Clay took his spoon and cracked through the thin, burned-sugar topping into the velvety egg custard, then lifted it toward me.

“Here you go. I can see there's no way I'm going to get away with not giving you a bite of this.”

Ok, I wanted some, but I shook my head. “No, no, you go ahead. I'm not going to eat the first bite, Sweetie.”

He dangled the sweet spoonful and raised his eyebrow again in that most tempting manner. “Are you sure?”

“Now you said you'd curb it, but I don't think you're even trying! Really, I'm sure. I want to see how you like it.”

He shrugged. “Ok, you had your chance.” He stared through me as he slowly took the spoonful in his mouth, then rolled the dessert on his tongue. His head lowered and his eyes closed as he savored the sweet, smooth custard. “Mmm” was all he could say, until he swallowed. “What was that word you used earlier? Exquisite...that's it. THAT is the best dessert I have ever tasted.”

I snickered. “We may want to call Eva in here for another order of it!”

“Aren't you going to eat yours?”

“Oh, of course,” I remembered as I grabbed for my spoon. I really enjoyed watching his expression as he took that bite. Damn, how did he do that? He didn't need to say a thing and he turned me on. He watched me dig into my fluffy chocolate delight and absorb the flavor on my palate. I didn't know what was better: the desserts, or watching each other savor our desserts. I don't even know how we didn't ravage each other right there after Eva cleared the table. Instead, we quietly left our table and hugged Eva goodbye at the restaurant entrance.

As we stood in the Grand Lobby, somehow we agreed to see the Theater. I'm pretty sure it was Clay's idea.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The three-deck theater glowed a bright yellow-gold. Its walls were lined with small niches containing realistic-looking decorative flames. The seats were long lounge-style settees, rather than auditorium style. The enormous royal-blue stage curtain matched the seats. We looked up toward the metal ceiling fixture – it's many pinpoints of light resembled a starry night sky. A group was sitting close to the stage, and a man stood onstage next to a piano with several thick books open upon it. We walked down the aisle and found an empty settee behind the group, then enjoyed several monologues from both classic and modern plays. After his third or fourth presentation, while he looked through a book, Clay leaned into me. “Honey, I'll be right back. I'm going to talk with him for a minute.”

Clay approached him from stage left and talked with him briefly. The man nodded and smiled, then Clay walked off the stage and quietly found his way next to me again. I noticed he wasn't smiling.

The Thespian found a page, read a moment, then stepped forward.

William Shakespeare, Sonnet 33 –

Shakespeare! I thought as I took his hand. I’ve always had a fondness for Shakespeare. How nice of you to do that.

Clay smiled a little and held my hand tighter, but didn't say anything.

Full many a glorious morning have I seen
Flatter the mountain-tops with sovereign eye,
Kissing with golden face the meadows green,
Gilding pale streams with heavenly alchemy;

I leaned my head against his shoulder. I was so content.

Anon permit the basest clouds to ride
With ugly rack on his celestial face,
And from the forlorn world his visage hide
Stealing unseen to west with this disgrace:

What? I sat back up, troubled. He’s talking about seeing Clay…seeing mortal Clay...about NOT seeing Clay?

Even so my sun one early morn did shine
With all triumphant splendor on my brow;
But out, alack! he was but one hour mine;

The region cloud hath mask'd him from me now.

“Please, no.” I whispered as a prayer. Clay's head and eyelashes dropped.

Yet him for this my love no whit disdaineth;
Suns of the world may stain when heaven's sun staineth.

He saw tears streaming down my shocked profile. I turned to him. His eyes were full of sympathy and sadness.

“No…” I whispered.

“I wish it weren’t true. We both are going back.”

“When?”

Both his hands took mine in an effort to reassure me. “Not right now, honey. Noon tomorrow – 24 hours from when you arrived.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m returning to Mortal Clay’s soul.”

“I can’t stay here with you?”

“Neither of us can stay. I'm so sorry.”

Anger suddenly overwhelmed me. Without a word I got up and ran for the exit. “Honey, please wait!”

Clay caught up with me just as I got outside onto the Promenade Deck. The loud rush of the sea hit his ears and the white hull of an enormous lifeboat hung above us. He caught my arm to stop me.

“Honey, please wait.”

“How – how could you not tell me up front,” I yelled at him through tears. “Of all people I thought would have been honest with me, you knew and didn't tell me!”

“You have to believe me, I thought you knew until you mentioned 'eternity' at sunset. I needed a little time to figure out what to do and how to tell you; but at that moment, all I wanted was for us to enjoy being together. I knew it would break your heart.”

“You should've told me right then and there, dammit.”

Now Clay was upset. “Really – while we were holding each other, you would've wanted me to just come out and say, 'No honey, it's only for today'? You really would've wanted me to say it at that moment? Let's not forget that I was having a little crisis of my own right then. Excuse me for wanting to give you a few more hours of blissful ignorance.”

There wasn't a lot for me to say. I knew he was right, but it still hurt so bad.

“Clay, I need a little time to myself.”

“Are you sure? Can't we please go inside and talk about it?”

“Please, just leave me alone right now.” With that, I passed by him, went back inside and ran down the stairs. Clay came back inside and leaned against a wall. With his head hung down, he prayed.

Lord, I think I'm going to need Your help here.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Back at the suite, he read the digital clock on the VCR. Over an hour had passed since our argument and he was tired of second-guessing himself – and he hoped I'd be back by now. He waved the platinum key and rushed out into the hallway. In the Aft Elevator Lobby, he looked at the directory of public rooms.

Lord, please help me find her. This ship is so big. He deduced a moment.

Ok, the closer I am, the more I can hear her thoughts, so then I'll start at the top and work my way down. Oh goodness, I hope she's not out on deck.

The elevator opened and he pressed the 11 button. Halfway up the elevator, a faint sensation came over him and quickly hit the next floor button and walked onto Deck Nine.

I hear you a little, honey – where are you?

He walked the entire length of the ship, hoping for a better signal, checking each public room, then took the stairs down to Deck Eight and proceeded aft. It was working - he felt me ever closer as he approached Miidship. He stopped at a glass door labeled NOTES.

She's close. Oh goodness, she's still hurting so bad. He quietly opened the door to the music library. A number of comfortable music stations with earphones were nearby. That's strange – she's close, but the room is empty. Then he spotted the curved staircase leading down to Deck Seven. He peered down the railing to the open area below, where racks of CDs filled the walls and additional stations inhabited the floorspace. And then he saw me – head down, headphones on, hand covering face.

Thank you. Now what do I say?

He slowly, quietly walked down the stairs as he assessed the situation. From the base of the stairs, it looked to him like I had fallen asleep – not a movement from me, yet so much was flowing through my mind that it was hard for him to pinpoint a thought, and the music blaring into my head made it even more difficult.

Lord, help us all, but please help her first.

He walked another six feet when I removed my hand from my eyes and saw him there. He was still so incredibly stunning, even with all the worry in his eyes. He smiled and simply mouthed, “Hi.”

Another wave of sadness came over me, but I ripped the headphones off and ran to hold him. I just sobbed as he held me tight.

“I was so worried about you. I'd do anything to take your pain away.”

I let out a few last tears – finally all cried out. I sniffled a bit then managed to speak. “You standing there made me realize I'd rather be sad with you than without you.”

He held me tighter and stroked my hair to comfort me. I lifted my head from his chest and looked into those pale tropical eyes.

“Clay – please just kiss me.” I quietly begged. “I don't want to think about leaving you – I just want to be with you for every second more we have.”

He snickered a bit. “I'm not going anywhere, honey, and of course I'm gonna kiss 'ya.” His lips reached down for mine as my hands reached up to touch his face and hair. My lips parted and his mouth followed – I felt his hands slide up my back and he pressed me even closer to him. After a beautiful eternity locked in our desperate embrace, we finally let our mouths part.

“There's nothing else on this ship I want to see,” I whispered.

“Honey, there's nothing else I'd rather do than to be with you.”

I looked back at the music station and we walked over to straighten it up. I handed the headphones to Clay; he put it to his ear and listened for a few seconds as I shut down the station.

“Manilow again?”

“Yeah. It's 2 a.m. Paradise Cafe. I always play it when I'm depressed. Almost every song is a heart-ripper.”

“No. Definitely no more of this for you. As long as we're still here, I'll do everything I can to make you happy. I promised I would be here for you when you needed me.”

With a tear in my eye, I reached out from where I stood and wrapped one arm around his neck, and the other tightly around his waist. “How could I have been so stupid to waste precious time without you.”

He touched my cheek. “Don't think about it like that, honey. It's ok. You needed to let out your emotions. Sometimes taking a few minutes out of our lives for a good cry is the only way we can move forward.”

He wound the earphone cord around itself and handed it back to me. Once it was put away in the drawer, I saw Clay's empathetic smile. My heart melted once more and we embraced. I felt him press a kiss into my hair.

“Clay, I love you so much.”

“And I love you, my dear lady. Let's go home.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The platinum key waved us back into the suite. Clay sat me on a dining chair then walked over to the piano.

“It's dark – let me turn on a light.”

“No honey, just stay there. I'll take care of it,” he said as he waved his hand over the console, then at the curtains. Moonlight slowly bathed the room as the curtains opened and Clay returned to me. By the time the classical piece played, he had me in the middle of the parlor. We danced so close – my arms were wrapped tight around his thin torso and my head leaned against his chest. Clay's long arms fully encircled me and his chin lightly rested against my hair. The shadow formed on the wall was of one body. Do you call it dancing if you hardly move?

After the first two pieces, a more modern ballad played.

“This is a beautiful melody. What is it?”

“You don't recognize it?” He quietly crooned the lyrics.

Sometimes its so hard to believe when the nights can be so long
and faith gave me the strength and kept me going on...

'Love of My Life.' How could I have forgotten? His soft eyes looked into mine as he quietly continued with the second verse.

Now here you are, with midnight closing in
You take my hand as our shadows dance,
with moonlight on your skin.
The look in in your eyes,
I'm lost inside your kiss.
To think if I'd never met you,
about all the things I'd miss

My heart beat faster, and another familiar rush overthrew me. I pressed my ear against his chest and absorbed the sound and vibration as he finished – so strong; so controlled; so tender. Suddenly the room was quiet.

“I could listen to that all night, Clay.”

“I'll whisper it to you all night.”

The piano then played a series of slow chords – the unhurried, melodic, Chopin-inspired prelude to Could It Be Magic. We both knew at that moment we needed more – Clay moved us toward the black piano bench, where he sat, parted his legs and stood me inside them. We stared intently at each other as our hands roamed free. My fingers brushed against his smooth face then ran through his hair – his touch sent a shiver through me when he caressed my bare shoulders. We kept our gaze locked on the other except when a touch instinctively made one of us close our eyes. I leaned in and laid light kisses on his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, then teased his ear with my tongue and warm breath, and lightly took his earlobe between my lips. He let out a pale sigh and held me even tighter. I felt his desire fully realized, straining against his trousers.

I took a step back and touched his knee. His legs came together and I gently sat myself on his lap. We again enfolded ourselves completely around the other and sat motionless – allowed the music to flow through us and absorb the feel of each other's bodies – we felt our hearts beat together and listened to each other's breathing. I felt the zipper on my dress lower – Clay's hands slid inside – my spine tensed and relaxed with his touch.

The music intensified and our mouths met once again – every cell of our beings craved each other and suddenly I felt there was no time to spare anymore. I fumbled with the buttons and furiously pulled the suitjacket from his shoulders as we kissed; his arms flailed to assist and it fell onto the bench. My hands caressed his face and neck, then with two lucky pulls, his black bowtie dangled around his collar. Unwilling to cease my advance, I unfastened the top two buttons of his shirt and nuzzled that sweet notch in his neck I had so longed to taste; my lips and chin rewarded by the soft scratch of cinnamon hair. I felt his adam's apple move as he swallowed then whispered my name. My thoughts were completely consumed with wanting him prone against the bench. The third shirt button came free. When I nearly had the fourth undone, Clay's hands took mine.

“Wait, wait, hold on,” he breathlessly spoke. I somehow got myself to focus on his face. Lordy, he was so flushed and his hair looked wickedly wonderful all mussed up. You couldn't convince me for a second that he wasn't enjoying receiving as much as I was giving, so what the heck made him stop me!

“Clayton...this is a VERY poor time to tease me again.”

“No, no – I'm not teasing. This is amazing, but we have all night. I want to do something for you first, before we get too far.”

“Are you sure about that? I think we're both already too far. I wouldn't want to waste...” I looked down and let Clay read the rest of it in my thoughts. “It's just...I've dreamed of being with you. Night and day I've imagined us together.”

Clay sat up and held me as I let out a frustrated sigh. “I promise you – all I want tonight is to be with you – to love you. Please let me do this for you first, honey. I know you'll love it.”

“Well, what is it?”

“You'll see. Do you trust me?”

“Well, if you stopped teasing me I would! No, wait – I'm sorry for snapping. Yes, of course I trust you – Clay, I love you.”

He touched my chin and smiled. “And I love you. Just give me a few minutes?”

I let him stand up. He gave me a gentle kiss, zipped my dress back up and walked me to the couch. He took the blue blanket with him to the bedroom. Gentle music wafted again from the piano, and I quietly sighed.

Baby - this better be good.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A short time later, Clay emerged from the bedroom, backlit by flickering light. He had changed from his suit into emerald silk pajama bottoms – and no shirt – his open robe covered his shoulders.

Oh, my God. I sat quietly, but my dark side was in hyperdrive and I all but gave up trying to block it. As he walked toward me, he chuckled at hearing my unrestrained thoughts.

“You have remarkable self control, honey.”

I sighed. “No, you get the prize for that, but I must be a close second. Your constant testing of my limitations didn't help...and neither does looking like that.”

He took my hand and brought me to standing. “There's no need for limitations; I want to hear everything. There's only us tonight – I won't hide anything from you. Please don't hide anything from me.” He raised my chin to kiss me.

“Then, uh...I guess you won't mind if I do this,” I whispered as my arms reached for his so-temptingly-displayed chest and stomach. I read his every curve with my fingertips, then lightly ran the backs of my hands against his auburn down. I knew my resistance was low, but I gently pressed my lips in several lovely, furry spots as my fingers gingerly grazed his hard nipples. He sighed then shivered, then I pulled myself away. When his eyes met back with mine, a couple pearly teeth came into view. His lip curled into a one-sided smile.

“You cruel girl.”

“Just a little payback for making me wait. Well...that and I couldn't help myself.” He took my hand.

Inside the bedroom, every candle flickered, casting a bright glow to the entire room. The blankets were pulled completely off the bed, leaving only crisp dark chambray-blue sheets, several pillows, and the blue blanket, neatly folded in one corner. On the one nightstand were colored glass bottles; on the other sat a tray with a silver decanter and two crystal glasses, as well as a plate with fruit, cheese, crackers and candy. The room was still strong with the perfume of red roses and calla lillies. I don't know how I managed to stay standing.

Clay turned me toward him and proffered a rose. “Honey, will you let me massage you?”

I was speechless and spellbound.

“I know you'll enjoy it. It'll be very relaxing.”

I stared into those forever-aqua eyes. Your hands...touching my body...all over...how can I resist such an offer.

Clay smiled in response and looked at me with incredibly gentle eyes. I reached for the shoulders of my dress, but Clay's hands met mine.

“Oh, please...this pleasure is all mine.” He took a step closer and reached for my lips. My hands rested on his hips and my back arched as he again slowly slid the zipper downward. His fingers moved inside the shoulders and slowly peeled down the fitted sleeves, leaving a trail of kisses on my neck and shoulder until my arms were free. With one last gentle tug at my waist, the dress floated to the floor. I stood before him in a simple but shapely strapless black-lace bustier and hipsters; my stockings held up by a matching black garter belt. He took a step back to look at me – even with his gentle eyes, it still felt like a hard stare. He leaned toward me and whispered.

“You look even more beautiful than I imagined.”

He patted the edge of the bed and sat me down, then dropped to one knee. I twitched slightly as his fingertips lightly brushed my thigh while he unhooked the stocking from the garter, then lightly peeled the stocking from my leg. I saw a little smile as he reached for the other clasp, then seemed to graze my leg even more sensuously as he removed the other stocking. From his wry, pearlescent smile afterward, I think all those little shivers I experienced were exactly what my cruel Clayton wanted from me.

He reached around my waist and unhooked the garter, then stood up. He removed his robe, kneeled into the bed, then held out his hand. “Lie here on your stomach.” The sheets were so soft against my skin and the mattress firmly supported my body. I felt Clay's hand gently press upon my back. “You won't be needing this.”

One by one, I felt each hook become free until I felt the room's cool air over my bare back. “Lift up just a little, honey,” he said as I felt a tug against my chest. The bustier slid out from under me and I was left with only my black lace panties. Clay lightly ran his fingers on my bare back and my muscles tensed, not expecting such a gentle caress, then suddenly I felt a little vulnerable. An instant later, his entire hand was settled against my back.

“I'm sorry. I just couldn't resist touching your lovely skin.” He picked up the blue blanket. “Here, maybe this will make you feel more comfortable.” He draped the blanket over me, then lay next to me and lightly pet my hair. He sensed my relaxing and realized it was just a temporary startle. I softly smiled and he replied with a gentle kiss. He reached for a soft, flat pillow and placed it under my head, then walked around the bed to the nightstand.

He opened several of the bottles of oil and breathed in each fragrance. The fourth one, Jasmine, struck him as perfect with its sweet, floral scent. He climbed back on the bed to my left, lifted part of the blanket off me and drizzled the warm oil on my back. I felt his legs, among other parts, straddle my thighs, then his hands spread the oil on my neck, shoulder blades and back. He rubbed in long strokes slowly up my spine, outward, then hovered over me and endlessly kneaded my neck and shoulders. Every once in a while I let a few low moans escape.

He rubbed more oil into his hands and worked from my shoulder down my left arm, then palm, then each finger. He languidly repeated the same technique on the right arm. My thoughts became calm and relaxed as I savored each caress. Clay lifted himself from my legs and removed the blanket completely. Warm drizzles landed on the backs of my legs, then he poured a final bit into his hand. He started with my left foot – flexing and kneading each pressure point – toes – foot – ankle – calf – knee – then thigh. He then worked my right thigh in sweeping, kneading strokes, then proceeded down my leg – knee, then calf, ankle, foot, and finally finished with my toes. He laid the blue blanket over me once more and I breathed a heavy, contented sigh.

Even though I thought I would fall asleep, I felt relaxed and refreshed...and all I wanted to do was reciprocate.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Clay moved around to the other side of the bed and knelt to look at me. “How are you feeling?” he asked ever-so gently.

“Wonderful.” He leaned in to kiss me and I smiled.

“Now it's your turn.”

“Oh no, you don't have to do that. I want you to relax.”

I lifted myself up on my elbows, not realizing that Clay could see a nice hint of cleavage shadowed by the blanket. I reached out to touch his face.

“Baby, I want to. Remember that I'm also happy when I get to take care of you.”

“What? All right. That's very nice of you. Here, let me help you up.” Gently he took me by the waist and brought me to standing, making sure the blanket was securely around me.

I looked at him with playful eyes. Oh, I've always wanted to say this to you. I paused, though – I grew hesitant, but then Clay's words returned to me: ...I want to hear everything...please don't hide anything from me. My bravery returned and I looked at him with a little crooky smile of my own.

“Ok, Clayton – strip and lie down.”

He giggled and saluted. “Yes, ma'am! Right away ma'am!”

Ooh, that felt even better than I imagined! Clay's thumbs reached for his waistband. “Wait, wait!”

He stopped and gave me a marvelous animated look of confusion. With a sweep, I moved the blanket around me, my body out of his sight, and lifted it up, which blocked my line of sight. “Ok, go ahead!”

He giggled again and nodded in amusement, then slid the waistband over his slim hips. I heard the smooth rustle of him disrobing then of him lying face-down across across the bed.

“All right, honey!”

I draped the blanket over him, but not before I took a quick peek at his long torso and fuzzy legs, met in the middle by a shapely derriere. I then looked at the different glass bottles: jasmine....rose....sandalwood....bergamot.

Oh yes, bergamot – that's the one. I opened the bottle and drew in a long breath. How I love its warm, citrusy aroma.

“Is bergamot ok? That's what's in Earl Grey tea.”

“That sounds fine. All those fragrances smelled nice.”

I stood there with the bottle in my hand and drank in the situation, then poured the fragrant oil in my hand. I'm going to give you a massage you will never forget, on this or any other plane. I moved the blanket upward, revealing the full length of his legs. I started with those size 13-1/2 feet and worked each long toe's pressure points, then buried my thumbs deep into his arches. A little “mmmm” rose from the other side of the bed.

If you like that, you have an incredible treat in store.

Ankles were rubbed...

Calves kneaded...

Thighs stroked...

I climbed into bed and straddled his covered bottom then slid the blanket off his back. What a lovely position this is! With one finger, I lightly grazed his skin, slowly sweeping back and forth down from his shoulder blades to the small of his back, and even a little under the blanket. I was rewarded with two shivers and a giggle.

I opened the bottle once again and drizzled the oil on his back, then set the bottle on the other nightstand. My body leaned all the way forward, spine curved, and my hands took much of my weight as I pressed my fingers into the base of his neck and worked my way outward to his shoulders, downward along his back, then pressed upward against his spine. Through it all, he moaned and whispered my name. When I finally finished with him, I removed myself from my position then off of the bed to return the bottle back to its tray. As I walked to the near nightstand, Clay turned over and sat up with the blanket still discreetly upon him. I heard him exhale a word.

“Amazing.”

I suddenly felt vulnerable again as he looked at my nearly-nude form. For a moment, I wished the candles weren't casting so much light. He smiled and nodded at me.

“Honey, you don't need to feel that way. You're so beautiful. But...if it'll make you feel better...”

His eyes never left me as he blew lightly and made a small sweep with his hand. Most of the candles extinguished, leaving only a soft glow mixed with moonlight. I heard the piano begin to gently play. That serious expression from the couch washed over him once again and my heart pounded hard. This is real. This is really happening.

He outstretched his right hand to me and removed the blanket from himself with his left. I looked at him, then let him watch me slowly remove my final garment. I took his hand, knelt into the bed and sat on his legs. The moonshine reflected on our faces and also gave a sheen to our oil-absorbed skin. We sat – kissing, caressing, staring. The fragrances on our bodies mixed together to form one heady mutual scent. That strange, but familiar glow returned to the room.

The music on the piano continued. We embraced, we kissed, then he laid me lengthwise on the bed. Sighs and soft moans floated between us as we touched. His gentle nuzzles on my neck and ears made me shiver and giggle. I rolled him onto his back and laid butterfly kisses on his two lovely adam's apples, then down his neck and onto his fuzzy auburn chest. He flinched and sighed in response to the feel of my tongue's gentle assault on his nipples. He tensed and rolled me onto my back once more. His pink, swollen lips trailed slowly downward – each kiss and feel of his warm, wet mouth were more exciting and intoxicating than the last. His hands were nearby – cupping, caressing, teasing, touching. As I flexed beneath him, I couldn't help but quietly gasp his name over and over with each extraordinary sensation.

“Yes, Clayton......oh yes...”

He returned to my neck, looked at me with those sparkling, magical eyes and gently outstretched my arms above my head, resting them on the pillows. His body lay completely on top of mine, from toe to fingertip, his desire again fully realized, nestled against my thighs. We stared at each other deeply – completely – and knew the moment had arrived. Our arms slid down in unison, and we touched each other's face. I felt my knees move outward, until nothing separated us from the inevitable.

We were gloriously entangled. The slow melody of Could It Be Magic once again could be heard from the piano and we moved with its rhythmic beat, helped by the sweet pitch and roll of the ship. An extraordinary dance – a convergance of body and soul.

Baby, I love you, come...come...come into my arms. Let me know the wonder of all of you...

The melody intensified, as did the love we made, ever increasing. Is the song playing over again? I wondered. It seemed to play forever.

We watched each other's expressions, save for a few overpowering waves that crashed over us. Clay illuminated brighter from within with every motion and he saw my face bathed in its glow. The tension within us rose higher and higher – my hands gripped his straining arms harder as each undulation brought us ever closer to the edge.

Baby, I want you now...now...now and hold on fast. Could this be the magic at last?

“Clayton......yes, Clayton...oh, I love you...”

I held him strong within as he endlessly called my name. His eyes closed just as my breathing changed. He cried out to me as we reached the summit.

“Come with me, my angel, come with me!”

We leapt over the edge of the precipice – a thunderous mutual release sent waves of shakes and shudders through us. We wrapped ourselves tightly together, unwilling to release any part of the other. Our heartbeats pounded hard against our chests and in our ears; our breathing hard and heavy as dozens of remnant trembles flowed between us.

All at once, the agony and the ecstasy commingled within me, erupting into one overpowering emotion. I felt warm tears stream down my temples, into my hair and ears. Clay moved his head and felt a wetness on his face, then looked at me as he listened to my bittersweet thoughts. His own sadness at leaving this place crept over him, but all he wanted to do was comfort me. I saw the same pain in his eyes, but I so needed that anchor. He knew he had to take his own advice and remember to believe in the here and now and have faith in the future. It strengthened his resolve.

“We're here now,” he whispered. “I'm not going anywhere.” He stroked my hair then told me the most comforting words I needed to hear.

“Honey, I promise you this. One day the two of us will really have forever together. This is just a preview of life everafter – and it will be even better than this.” His beautiful promise sent more tears streaming, but it also strengthened my faith and my heart. He sealed his promise with a kiss against my wet, salty lips. I'll never forget the taste.

With my relief finally attained, I realized something and touched his face.

“You're literally luminous! You're the glow I've been seeing.” I smiled as I finished comprehending. “Clay, I understand now...when you said to me, 'your love makes me beautiful.' The stronger my love, the more you glow.”

“Yes, that's right...” he said as he smoothed my hair, “...but it also comes from my love for you. And I've been meaning to tell you – you're even more beautiful reflected in that glow.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I woke sometime later to find him with his bare back toward me. His skin was still vibrant even in shadow, even asleep.

I must be in Heaven – this cannot be a dream. He's lying here with me. We made love. I touched his back and felt a small current flow into me. Fascinating. Can you hear me, Clay? I ran one fingernail lightly down his spine and he twitched slightly at my touch, then turned over, closer to me. I gazed at his relaxed face. I don't think I'll ever get over how beautiful you are.

His long, strawberry eyelashes slowly lifted in time to see a tear fall down my cheek. I felt his hand slide up my arm and his thumb wiped it away. Another white rose petal was between his fingers and he smiled. “Your love makes me beautiful. And no, honey – this is definitely not a dream.”

I had never, ever felt such pure joy.

He moved his lips toward mine for one sweet, reassuring kiss, then pulled me closer. I again felt the small current flow into me as he kissed my forehead and eyelids. I moved my head back, then reached up to smooth his mussed auburn hair. To my surprise, I found a tear in his eye.

“You promised me that one day we'll have forever. I believe you, and I'll wait for you. Wonderful won't even describe how great I know it'll be. I can't lie and say it won't hurt to be separated from you, but I do promise that I'll stay strong and patient.”

He gave me a contented, toothy grin. “That's my girl.” My thumb wiped his tear, and I found myself holding a white rose petal. The look in his eyes matched my thoughts. My neck reached out to meet his pink lips, and my body moved into his. His hand glided across my stomach and caressed my breast.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I woke again to find him spooned against me, his long arms tight around me – my head rested in his large hand. I stirred a moment and his thumb gently stroked my cheek and nose, then over my eyebrow. I stopped stirring and closed my eyes once more. His hand moved out from under me to smooth my hair again and again. I never knew what the word ‘shelter’ could mean until that moment.

He moved and pressed a kiss into my hair, then onto the nape of my neck. He settled his head back again, wrapped himself tighter around me and we drifted back to sleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I heard my name and my eyes opened a bit. Clay was in silhouette, sitting next to me on the edge of the bed – raw, cowlicky – looking at me. The room was still dark, but glowed dimly with the very first light of day.

“Hey Butterfly,” he whispered as he coddled my face and hair. “Do you want to see the sunrise?”

“Sunrise?” I whispered, still half asleep. My eyes shut.

He leaned down and laid himself over me. His hands slid between the smooth sheets and my bare back and I felt his arms cross behind me. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his slim torso. We lay there quietly entwined, feeling each other breathe. He then gently scooped me up to a sitting position. My head fell onto his chest and he snickered.

“You're not an early riser, are you?”

If I hadn't been so sleepy, my giggle would've been audible. “No, I’m not, but give me a minute. I'll wake up more.” We continued to hold each other close. After several minutes, my body suddenly pulled back toward the bed, bringing my Clayton with me; his cheek rested against my collarbone. My hands stroked his long, smooth back. He still smelled so good.

“Did I ever tell you that cruise ship beds have a stronger gravitational pull? Who am I to fight the laws of gravity.”

With a chuckle, Clay trailed kisses from my chest up my neck, then gave a gentle, playful bite to my chin. “And who am I to fight how you wake up?”

We both giggled until his mouth reached mine. My fingertips dandled up his spine and neck, then tangled themselves in his soft cinnamon hair. Without releasing my lips, he stood up a bit and moved himself under the covers, over me.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I heard the ocean's rush and noticed that the room was brighter. I lay quietly for a while, reliving every moment since I arrived onboard, unwilling to forget a single second. My body was reliving it's own feelings from the night and early morn.

“Clay? Sweetness?” I quietly called.

A few moments later I heard a loud whisper from behind the bedroom door. “I'll be right there, honey.”

From the parlor I heard clanking, low voices and a quiet chuckle. The cabin door shut, then Clay opened the bedroom door and walked around to my side of the bed, wearing the emerald pajamas and his matching robe. I looked up at him as he sat and smoothed my hair, scanning my face.

“Goodness gracious, honey. You are so gorgeous.”

I flashed a bright smile. “Even though I'm all rumpled?”

“Especially because you're all rumpled.” One of those lovely, now-familiar waves coursed through me. I saw a wave come over him as he reacted to my feelings, his body also reminiscing.

How do you do that? I sat up and wrapped my arms around him. “You are so truly amazing.” I sent up a little prayer in my thoughts: Lord, thank you for making a man with so much magic. Thank you for giving him to me, if just for a little while...if just for now.

Clay smiled and we sat quietly a few minutes more until he broke the silence. “If I can somehow pull you away from this 'gravity-intensive' bed, Giovanni brought up a huge breakfast for us and I'm starving.”

“Oh, breakfast sounds wonderful. I'm hungry, too.” I paused a moment and gave him a little knowing smirk. His coy wink was followed by a happy, crooky smile. “I have no idea why.”

I slid my feet toward the floor as Clay reached over to the foot of the bed and picked up a blue silk nightgown. He positioned the gown and I slipped my arms through, then slid it over my head and down to my waist. I slowly stood up and the long gown fell into place. He picked up the matching robe and wrapped me up like he had done in the Bath, complete with the kiss.

“There. Just gorgeous.”

I took in several huge breaths of fresh sea air as Clay sat me at the table on the balcony, beautifully and bountifully set with every breakfast item you can imagine, including grits. An elegant crystal bowl packed tight with many different rosebuds was the table's colorful centerpiece. A small gold box with Clay's name on it sat next to the roses.

“Wow, I think Giovanni brought up the entire galley!”

“I think you're right! And apparently also brought up a little present for me, honey. Do you know anything about it?”

I tried very hard to not think about its contents. “I may.” I said with a sly grin.

“Oh, so you're going to tease me now?”

“Just open it before my thoughts give it away.”

Clay opened the box...and found three Krispy Kreme donuts. His mouth went agape then an amazed smile lit the outdoors. He grabbed for a donut and took half of it with one desirous bite. “How did you? I mean...we're on a ship!”

“Magic, Baby. Magic.”

He devoured all three, but he let me take the rest of the morning to clean that tasty icing off him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As close to Noon as we could possibly get away with, we slowly, reluctantly made our way back to the Sky Deck, to the spot where we first met. We stood by the railing in the strong wind and held each other as tightly as two beings could. The deep azure sea swelled and passed, and a white cruise ship was just off the horizon. My eyes welled with tears.

“Thank you for bringing me here, honey. Mortal Clay will wonder where this strange little desire to be at sea came from all of a sudden.”

I snickered a little and held him tighter. “I already miss you.”

“I know. I feel it, too. Just remember my promise.”

“I'll never forget it, nor the promise I made to you.”

The Noon Horn blew once again. We startled together for only a second, then gave each other one last, languid kiss.

“Clay, I love you so much.”

“And I love you, My Butterfly.”

I smiled bravely as we squeezed each other's hands, then let go – he turned and began to walk away. A bright light shined from him, but something was also happening to me. A white light blinded me...

I took in a huge gasp of air and sat straight up. The radio blared. I was in my bed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I tried to take care of my mundane chores today, but ever since my experience two weeks ago, I haven't been very functional, except for nearly being camped out online with my Broadly friends. I haven't had much to say for a while. I want to tell them all about it, but my fingers somehow refuse to type the words. Then there was that crazy day two days after that ended with a small, delicate aqua butterfly tattoo adorning my ankle.

The Broads had been buzzing with anticipation about his performance tonight on that beauty pageant. For me, the day couldn't go any slower, but finally the hour arrived and I was excited beyond words. It was his first performance since everything happened and I couldn't wait to see Clay – Mortal Clay – perform. I started my VCR then sat back and waded through the contestants. Finally, he was introduced. From out of the shadows, he walked to the microphone and began. At the first closeup, I was astonished when I saw his neck wrapped in an amazing tie...

Purple, with light purple polka dots...that glowed orange in the light.

I almost stopped breathing, but kept trying...for him.

I watched transfixed and drank in every note. “He's luminous,” I managed to expel. He's luminous, and I know why. It's not just my love – it's love from all of us.

The song crescendoed and I felt that incredible, familiar wave overthrow me once again. My eyes closed and I flashed back to us holding each other's bare bodies in the candlelight, and felt the ship move through the sea. I opened my eyes when the audience cheered. He stood in the midst of the hall, beaming – and a spark fired from his eye. I startled, overcome with joy and remembrance, and felt one tear fall from my cheek. I looked down at my lap and found two white rose petals.

--------------------------

Credits:

Extra special thank you to Julie for all her help, feedback and little inspirations, and for just putting up with me talking about this all the time. (Yes, I promise this is the LAST TIME I'll futz with this story.)

Thanks to Kath for the KK inspiration.

Thanks to the Lecherous Broads, with whom I get to share this beautiful puppy-totin' obsession. My home away from home.

Clayton – this one's for you, obviously. You'll never know how much you've inspired me, softened my heart, made me feel young and creative again - it is aMAzing. You are a gift from God that keeps on giving, whether you choose to believe that or not. Each day is a different emotion I wish I could tell you, but this little story will have to do.

Mark – If you've read this far, I may be in trouble. I love you, Pook.

Mom – I love you and miss you dearly. 35 years with you was not enough, but God knows what He's doing.

Lord – Thank you. I hear You. I know You're taking care of Mom and Dad.

Learn more about the SS United States at www.ssunitedstates.org.

Featured Songs:

Stardust – written by Hoagy Carmichael

Once and for All – sung by Barry Manilow; music and lyrics by Richard Kerr/Charlie Dore

Love of My Life – written by Jim Brickman and Tom Douglas

Could it Be Magic – music and lyrics by Adrienne Anderson/Barry Manilow

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~Posted 8.16.2004~

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