Dear Porkers,
Three things here. 1) Our
refund deadline, which we've sent a number of times. 2)
A reality check on what RAGBRAI will demand of you. 3)
Your Pork Belly Creed (with stage directions).
Before Wednesday, June 18th, you can still cancel part
or all of your PBV services and/or merchandise and receive a
90% refund. You can drop services or cancel entirely by
phone or email, and we'll send you a refund check
quickly. We'll also try to find you a buyer for your
wristband. Your spot on RAGBRAI is transferable; your
spot with Pork Belly Ventures is not. As we stated in
our January invitation, in the June Letter, and in several
updates--on or after the 18th of June, we will make no refund.
RAGBRAI is great fun. That's an undisputed
fact. RAGBRAI is not for everyone. That's also
common knowledge, and though we don't want to scare anybody
off, we do want to give you a little reality check here to
make sure you understand what you've signed on
for.
Everyone on the Pork Belly crew will work almost
around the clock to provide you with some special perks,
relative luxuries, and lively evening events. But as
every veteran Porker can tell you, this will still be RAGBRAI,
even though you're traveling with Pork Belly. It
wouldn't BE the Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa
without a few buckets of sweat, some sleep deprivation,
semi-public bathing, nightly hikes to the kybo, standing in
line for almost everything, rib-rattling overnight
thunderstorms, and other inconveniences. There is
something about coming through these difficulties, though,
that can make you walk a little taller, feel sort of proud of
yourself and those around you, and--heaven only knows
why--compels you to come back and do it again next
summer.
We do want you to arrive in Missouri Valley
ready for what Iowa will lob at you. So we're asking you
to ask yourself honestly, CAN I LIVE BY THE PORK BELLY
CREED? Please stand up now, place your hand over your
heart, and read this oath aloud. Read softly at first,
and build slowly toward a crescendo at the end.
"ON MY
HONOR, I DO SWEAR-
"To ride my bike plenty and toughen
my parts, so my saddle won't bruise me and make me lose
heart,
"To include hills and headwinds in my training
rides, so on RAGBRAI I'll shrug and just take them in stride,
"To read all my updates forth, back, and through, so
when my bus pulls away, I won't be in the loo,
"To not
wince at bad hair, body odor, and stubble (and on PBV crew,
these will surely be double),
"From stink, grease, and
sweat, I resolve not to flee, for whatever's on you is also on
me,
"To pretend all our bods are not gross and not
hairy, when we're schmoozing and sipping our Pork Bloody
Marys,
"To shake hands and say thanks to my Iowa hosts,
even when wet, tired, and near comatosed,
"To
keep our camp tidy and toss my own trash, so nobody gives me a
kick in the [butt],
[kick it up a notch]
"To
sit in the Cool Zone with my fellow pigs, but move on, so
others can dig that cool gig,
"To contain multitudes,
to be big, to be large, and take turns at the Thingys so
others can charge,
"To read the announcements,
directions, and notes, so those nice front-desk girls don't
end up with sore throats,
"To gather my jokes and set
P.C. aside, because scurrilous humor's the thing on this
ride,
"To pull off the road for a Tender Tom Sandwich,
hours before I'm all trembly and famished,
"To laugh
and to josh, to embellish where needed, to cheer a sad Porker
who's fallen and bleeded,
[louder here]
"To
smile at the fact of delayed gratification, and remind myself
that I chose this vacation,
"To savor the fun
stuff and count myself lucky, and deal with the tough stuff
because I'm so plucky,
"To plan on the hardships that
turn out as stories, and know I'll head home in a blaze of
Pork glory!
"To come through hell and yet feel it's
been heaven, to contribute my share to Pork Lore and Pork
Legend,
[pour it on!]
"No matter what comes, how
wacked or outrageous, I'll still be serene and absurdly
courageous.
"I do solemnly swear to suck it up and
stick it out, because that's what this corny bike ride is
about."
Well done.
If you took your oath boldly,
friends, without quake or whimper, then you are worthy of the
title "Porker" and are ready to meet the challenge of living
like pigs.
Stay tuned for Pork News as it
happens,
Tammy and Pete
Tammy (Phillips)
Pavich
Pete Phillips
712/328-0161
712/328-6836
tammypav@aol.com petephillips@cox.net 