The 2000 Federal Census for Rednecks

  Last name: ________________

  First name: (Check appropriate box)
 (_) Billy-Bob
 (_) Billy-Joe
 (_) Billy-Ray
 (_) Billy-Sue
 (_) Billy-Mae
 (_) Billy-Jack

  What does everyone call you?
 (_) Booger
 (_) Bubba
 (_) Junior
 (_) Sissy
 (_) Other___________________

  Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
  Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
  Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

  Occupation: (Check appropriate box)
 (_) Farmer
 (_) Mechanic
 (_) Hair Dresser
 (_) Unemployed
 (_) Dirty Politician
 (_) Preacher

  Spouse's
 Name:_________________________

  2nd Spouse's
 Name:______________________

  3rd Spouse's
 Name:______________________

  Lover's
 Name:___________________________

 Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
 (_) Sister
 (_) Brother
 (_) Aunt
 (_) Uncle
 (_) Cousin
 (_) Mother
 (_) Father
 (_) Son
 (_) Daughter
 (_) Pet

 Number of children living in household: _____

 Number of children living in shed: ______

 Number that are yours: ______

 Mother's Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)

 Father's Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)

 Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

 Do you (_) own or (_) rent your mobile home?(Check appropriate box)

 Total number of vehicles you own: ___

 Number of vehicles that still crank: ___

 Number of vehicles in front yard: ___

 Number of vehicles in back yard: ___

 Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___

 Firearms you own and where you keep them:
 ____ truck
 ____ bedroom
 ____ bathroom
 ____ kitchen
 ____ shed

 Model and year of your pickup: 196_

 Do you have a gun rack?
 (_) Yes (_) No; If no, please explain:

 Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
 (_) The National Enquirer
 (_) The Globe
 (_) TV Guide
 (_) Soap Opera Digest
 (_) Rifle and Shotgun

 Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____

 Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:_____

 Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____

 How often do you bathe:
 (_) Weekly
 (_) Monthly
 (_) Not Applicable

 Color of eyes: Left______ Right_____

 Color of hair:
 (_) Blond
 (_) Black
 (_) Red
 (_) Brown
 (_) White
 (_) Clairol

 Color of teeth:
 (_) Yellow
 (_) Brownish-Yellow
 (_) Brown
 (_) Black
 (_) N/A

 Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
 (_)Red-Man

 How far is your home from a paved road?
 (_) 1 mile
 (_) 2 miles
 (_) just a whoop-and-a-holler
 (_) road?

 How many times have you described on national T.V.
 what the Tornado sounded like????? (_________)


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