A Woman's Vocabulary



FINE - This is the word we use to end an argument. "Fine" means that the argument is over. We are right. You should shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it is an even trade.

NOTHING - This means something, and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with the word "fine."

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows) - This is a dare - one that will result in a woman getting upset over "nothing" and will end with the word "fine."

GO AHEAD (with normal eyebrows) - This means "I give up" or "Do what you want becuase I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "go ahead" in just a few minutes followed by "nothing" and "fine" and she will talk to you in about "five minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH - This is not actually a word but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at the moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you over "nothing."

SOFT SIGH - Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

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