Stranger Danger

Around 80% of women rape victims are raped by people they know and usually trust. You are more danger of being raped in your house by a male neighbor or relative than by a stranger down a dark alley. This is not to say that you should never let a man into your house. Most men are not rapists. We do, however, have to learn to recognize the warning signs and know what actions to take to avoid a situation turning into a rape. It is rare that a man will just suddenly attack without any warning signs.

There are two types of attacks by people we know. Firstly lets get it clear that not all rape is about sex, rape is more about power, control and humiliation. Sometimes men rape someone they know because they want sex but consent is not given, other times they rape because they want to exert their power and control over a woman or to humiliate her. Sometimes it starts off as wanting sex and when it is refused the motive turns to exerting power. If the motive is sex then there may be warning signs of flirtatious behavior, getting too close, inappropriate remarks etc. If the motive is power then the signs are harder to detect. You may simply sense that there is something wrong. You may sense some hostility. You have to learn to trust your instincts.